Can you switch the lamp on?

Another lamp turns off. A friend commented on the story about another friend leaving Indonesia for good. I processed it for a while. She’s right. Friends are like little lights in our life and knowing that one wouldn’t be around anymore like turning one light out.

I’m used to experience ‘having a light out’ after more than seven years belong to the Heritage where the majority of its members are expatriate. Before summer is the time when many companies move their executives, that’s when the lights turn off one by one. I hardly thought of me who would be the one who leaves until my two good girlfriends in Jakarta shared their ‘sentimental action’ that I appreciate so much. Both were in shopping spree at Frangipani today. They bought many nice big things as memento of the existence of the shop. Sounds a bit too much? They said they feel sad to see Frangipani closing down.

Anyway, now I understand the reason why being the one who leaves is easier than otherwise. I miss but I don’t cling to the feeling of losing of good friends or nice events in Jakarta. I form a new circle of friends in my new place and attend other events. And later I realized, I actually got bonus by being away from my old friends. They come to visit me! And they also text and call me more often. When I'm in Jakarta, we make time to meet unlike in the past when 'we meet when we meet'. That’s a real bonus to my new circle of friends here.

When I drove to meet my British Singaporean friend today, I realized that in the end I see my old friends more after I moved to Ubud. Like this girl (of 58!), I saw her more here than in Jakarta. We also texted each other more now. The other day I talked for an hour with my ‘coffee’ mate in Jakarta. I miss but I don’t miss her. How could we miss each other more? We are busy with our life too although we appreciate sharing nice time some time. So I don’t miss them!

Later my 'macet' mate warms me with her text message I give you my standard message to my sons. Luveeeeeeeeee you. I’m happy when you are happy. She never shared such expression when I was around. She’s the one without frills, always straight to the point. I love you too Mom. Is this the standard reply? Yes.

Picture of a sign in Jalan Sugriwa. Away from home doesn’t stop the Japanese from doing nice thing together.

How do you engage with the world?

This is precious. Every day I look forward to experiencing the morning, afternoon, and evening at home or out. There’s always something I eagerly anticipate to encounter. Morning is the best because I don’t know what lay in store for me. I felt open without plan this morning and for no reason I was very sure that… Yes, my friend invited me to celebrate Tuesday in his shop. No, let’s go out to see the world. Fine, we start at ten.

Destiny called. My friend wanted to check out a new flashy boutique in the corner of a well-known local hotel. Observing the collection reminded me of the hotel owner I know back to 15 years ago. I asked the shopkeeper if she’s around. She was… We hadn’t seen each other long time, more than 5 years. I only ‘followed’ her activities through socialite magazines. We both have gone through a major change. Life change. When we met we didn’t talk about it but we understand each other.

So it’s good to have met her again. She had searched for my number long time, the same with me. She said in her broken Indonesian Ini yang namanya nasib. It is destiny. Before we left, she invited me and my friend to two parties she’s going to hold in the hotel. My friend’s eyes rolled in my view (I know him too well).

We stopped by my stone supplier workshop to have a look but nothing I could do because the owner was busy preparing a delivery. My friend was quick though, before too long he had talked business with her. He laughed out loud when I found out. So funny.

As promised, my friend helped me choosing pelangkiran (inside shop shrine) and its accessory for the new shop. Again, it’s my luck that I found a red-black pelangkiran with om character in the back. I selected simple decoration in three major colors only: red, black, and gold to match the shop colors. Very nice. I’m happy.

I ended the day by visiting my long time friend’s gallery in Mas. I was thinking about him the other day when passed his gallery. I didn’t feel like meeting but it’s destiny again that I came across him in my friend’s shop. I should take this as signal that I need to pay attention to a business that has been waiting for me to handle. I’ve been too lazy and inactive for too long now.

Go out and engage, a good friend keeps reminding me.

Picture of a nice gallery in Monkey Forest I took today.

Do you want to get a reward?

A friend emailed me saying that she would come to Frangipani to have a look for the last time or… before the shop closed down. It rings a bell. I hadn’t thought about sending a goodbye letter to some 100 email addresses in Frangipani mailing list. I reckoned I had avoided being too close with the business.

And it happened. Moved and edited the mailing list, composed the letter, and sent it are enough to drain my positive energy. By noon, I was empty. I realized I have let myself exposed and to be ready for a question. Replying two responses is already hard. Two girlfriends who live far away cried for me. I sat pondering…

I don’t want this closed-down thing looks not-so-nice. But it seems, I could not avoid. I have seen many business gone not nicely. I understand now. It is not easy to keep the 'good shape'. My staffs are already fighting. I also understand that it wouldn’t be easy for them to keep the good mood in such chaos. I don’t know. I hope they could work with less thinking. The way I did when gave them order. There are moments when I have to stand on the side watching the world goes by.

What a day I had! I have walked in bigger steps now. What I can do now, I do now. It should be rewarding in the end. Just the thought of the reward has made my steps becoming bigger and bigger.

Picture of a dog by the street. He was not happy when I took the picture.

Do you want to break the house rule?

To step out of routine is important. Although I still allow a bit flexibility, I consider myself a conservative person. I’m cautious about change if not boring. Anyway, I notice that I started to break my house rule since yesterday. I selected vanilla yogurt instead of the usual plain one. I found the vanilla flavor strange but am happy that I had tried. I also canceled dark chocolate to change with white one I also like but rarely had for years. Later I know that I still prefer dark chocolate and again am happy to have gotten a confirmation.

I broke a house rule again today. It’s been two days I got out of house after 2 o’clock in the afternoon. I used up my long morning doing household chores and doing conceptual work in computer. I used to chop a day in two by going out between the two activities. I notice the advantage of my new pattern of going out later after the two activities. I stop complaining about people who are not ready tending their business before noon. I found Balinese are in their high in the afternoon so it's easier to do business.

I drove in Mas again this afternoon. I thought about checking out a furniture maker but canceled the plan on the way. I stopped by a glass craftsman shop to shop for ideas. I bought two nice glass jars for tirta (holy water) I plan to take from a pura. Really nice jars. Funky one. I also walked a bit further as I spotted a really nice ceramic work.

No one helped me in the ceramic shop. I admired and was about to leave when a man showed. Not Indonesian. I just talked and before too long we had shared ideas. He is a Swedish and has been living in Bali fifteen years. His family has worked with glass a hundred years (did I hear the number right?) back in Sweden and now he started his own glass workshop in Mas.

I took time to absorb his artwork. I also went to his glass showroom next to the ceramic shop. I couldn’t believe my eyes. His work for Rockefeller Center’s shop is brilliant. Brilliant because it’s simple -- thing I should have thought because I have lived with Indonesian art for so long now. Uh. I should have done, I should have done. But sure, it ignites my creativity to combine simple elements into one. As I don’t have heart to copy, I need to dig more: recreate simple element.

We had really nice discussion. His shop only starts three months ago. He used to design lightings and installations for hotels and public places therefore had no time to stock up if had a shop. He kicked it to happen though. Talking a bit more, he’s interested in doing business with me. His offer is worth considering. We plan to meet up some time next week after the new stock arrives from the workshop. I look forward to share funkiness with him. His work is simply different.

Driving in Tegallalang and Mas has made me practicing to use my two eyes to observe two different directions. One for driving, one for scanning something striking by the street. I am so used to do that that I could consider myself skillful now. I could scan and spot a nice shop quickly. As I drive myself now, I stop right away to check out. Bali offers millions ideas that I don’t have time to grab all, only one that stands out, and I’m happy to know that I still have the eye for good art.

I celebrated my meeting with this lamp designer by having… rice! It’s been days since the last time I had rice. I went with Ayu to have grilled fish and chicken in Tebokang near my house. It’s really good one. Plus two fresh orange juice cost me $3.5. Living in Bali is luxurious.

Picture of… no no not the one I had grilled fish. This one is near Ayu’s place.

When does the rainy season end?

It’s been long I didn’t start the day at 4 o’clock. I did this morning and felt so good about it. It’s really a good start. I found myself more creative and productive. Apart from I managed to finish two loads of laundry, I also got an inspiration that could kick off my new life sooner. I had an idea to close down Frangipani a month sooner!

Yea. Why do I have to wait a month longer? It's about things I could push my staffs to do now. As a consequence, I worked all morning studying stock list Linda sent me almost a week ago. Apparently, time is in my hand. I also took time to write thank you note for friends who have their merchandise in Frangipani for consignment. They have supported the shop in such a way with their unique things. I feel sorry I couldn’t accommodate them in Ubud shops.

I had great morning; working, tidying house, tending laundry because the weather was a bit unpredictable, chatting and quarreling with good friends… I was driving downtown when realized that running a business is a lone job. We could only share ideas with others but when it comes to make a decision, it’s a lone thing. I also recognized my attitude toward indulgence after running a business. I was a big shopper but I’m a different person now. I am still a shopper but different shopping.

What started me pondering was my friend who asked me to accompany her to a painting auction in Jakarta tomorrow. She has her eye on paintings by Affandi and Blanco, the two Indonesian maestros. I was with her when she acquired two paintings by younger maestro in an auction in Ubud. I’m happy to know that a young woman of barely 35 years old could afford to buy maestro’s painting. It reminds me of myself. The way I shopped in the past. I rarely thought the need to save money for the rainy season. And now I feel like rainy season hardly ends. I keep saving.

I’m happy to have found a perfect white lace kebaya for the opening of my shop. I bought a cream kebaya the other day and realized this morning that I need to get a pure white one to mark a new start. My intuition had guided me to a Balinese outfit shop by the puri. I walked out the shop with light feeling carrying a perfect white kebaya. Life couldn’t be better. Again I feel blessed to have another dream come true. I live in Ubud!

Picture of lotus pond inside Puri Ubud where I had lassie this afternoon.

Do you know how to clean Tefal pan?

Full moon is over. Not the moonlight but its effect on me. Kok suwi men? A friend protested. I wish I knew why the effect stayed longer this time. I felt helpless that I couldn’t get the issues out of my head. A good friend reminded me that those issues are only ‘dirt on Tefal pan’. It’s there but it doesn’t stick. Ya ya Tefal syndrome. Again, I know the theory but it’s so hard to bring it to the plate to be eaten. I just believe in time. It has time.

I’m glad I decided to visit Mbo Yan in Celuk with Ayu, my ex staff in Pallava, by motorbike yesterday afternoon. It was a nice afternoon. We didn't plan, it just clicked: Ayu wanted to do something like I did and Mbo Yan was free. Ayu and I giggled all the way because both didn’t know which way to go. I forgot and as Balinese she didn’t have idea either so some times I knocked on her helmet for not listening to me. It was fun.

Mbo Yan served us a really nice cake. We talked with her family under a mango tree. Her husband was shy when I first met him months ago but yesterday he participated in conversation actively. Nice warm family. Mbo Yan took me to her next-door neighbor to see how silver jewelry made. I was amazed by a row of tables in such a small space and the boys were working on small silver cut fast and happily with radio blasted out in the background. They are all from East Java! Mbo Yan said that Javanese are tough workers for they could work non-stop for 18 hours. I believe that.

We closed our outing with having grilled fish a la Java with Mbo Yan’s twins. Ayu showed me room she rents in Ubud downtown before drove me back home. Nice place in a nice Balinese neighborhood. She treated me fruit cocktail in a little kedai in the opposite of her place. We had nice talk with the owner. It’s often when I admire Balinese while Balinese admire Javanese. It’s nice.

I felt light in the morning when woke up. Doing something offbeat can be enlightening. The mistake the builder made yesterday didn’t affect me. I came to talk with him in the shop before noon. There are times when I just accept people’s mistake. Small mistakes annoy me but major one keeps me quiet. I simplified my assignment for him and left. Having acknowledged the builder’s limitation, I feel the need to redesign my idea. I consider looking for a professional for the shelving even though I need to pay extra as consequence. What he has done so far is enough for the opening in the next ten days.

I dropped by Pasar Ubud to shop. I’d been itchy to shopping the past few days. Actually I needed to check out if the usual shop has a white kebaya for me to wear on the melaspas, the opening of the shop. I found one in cream but then I also bought many other things: sarong, sash, yoga pants, sleepwears… I liked it.

When I start the day happy, I would be productive the rest of the day. Tefal pan has been back clean.

Picture of a statue in Batubulan where we stopped to make a phone call yesterday.

Was that improper English or was it a teaching?*

I read Not Always So: practicing the true spirit of Zen by Shunryu Suzuki since I was in Singapore. It’s a very nice book. I enjoyed each teaching.
The book is not thick but ‘heavy’ in the sense that each teaching requires skill to comprehend what Suzuki conveys. I’m interested to know how the lectures were compiled because the language is oral, simple yet intricate for a Japanese. The manuscript might have been through heavy editing. Anyway, it’s clear and ‘light’ in conveying although ‘heavy’ in material.

It’s always interesting to talk about linguistic. The art of using language in connection with the art of relating to others. I was involved in a light discussion about the wording of my inquiry to a friend the other day. I didn’t get what I had expected but I didn’t bother to verify. My mistake. It reminds me of my friend and his ex-boss again. Both have missed the important part of communication: verification. So I learned. Verify!

I did. Betty banged on my door again. She wanted me to tell my friend to move the car from her place. I told her that I don’t have friend staying with me. She was very sure that I have! So I opened the door wide and invited her to come and have a look. I asked Why should I lie to you? I could see the flame died down before she said softly I don’t know!? I smiled. It must be hard for her so I told her Dear, please take it easy. She left. I really do care about her.

My good friend Rita called me just now. She just returned from spending seven weeks in London, Tel Aviv, and New York. It’s always nice to catch up with good friends. She thought my new life is wow. I only went away seven weeks and look at you now! After all those nice things happening to you, why did you say the ups and downs? Oh dear… I’m doing this all by myself! Ah. Even in normal life we have the ups and down! She concluded softly.

*a line from the book

Photo of rice field view from Pundi-pundi Café I took long time ago.

Have you communicated your wants?

You don’t look happy! I am not. What day is it today in Bali? Buda manis. Ah. No wonder my trip resulted ‘empty’ again. Many shops were still closed at 11! I couldn’t believe myself when I realized how many same answers I got: masih ada upacara and masih sembahyang. Two important things in Bali: ceremony and praying. Wrong timing again? It’s a bit too much for me not to know the days. I stared at my calendar just now trying to record what dates in the future I should be aware.

I drove in Tegallalang again although many shops were closed because it’s still early. I made a few stops and realized that there’s little I could do for my new shop. I have to see what I have in the shop first, live with the display, then dig ideas of what else to add. I couldn’t decide now what kind of vitrine I need for necklaces and silver jewelry I plan to design. In short, there’s nothing I could do now. Only later after the shop ready and running.

Fine. I fetched stock record I asked Ngurah to make in Pallava. I bit my fingers. I walked to my neighbor’s shop and sat in front of my friend. He laughed. He knew already what happened from the way I looked. I told him I don’t know how to communicate. He preached: talking with people from different culture needs full text, long explanation, and few physical examples. Excuse me?! He told me that even talking to General Manager level, we need such procedure. Arrgghhh…

Then on we talked about how complicated to communicate with someone that has relationship with us (employer – employee, husband - wife, friends). We often miss the most important messages: what I want, what you want. We discussed his relationship with his ex-boss again. Having read their emails exchange, I see that both actually experienced miscommunication. It looks so easy to solve, in fact, it’s not…

So after explaining the same thing for the third times to the builder, I preferred to go home. My friend laughed out loud. Anyway, he’s my cheerleader. I have booked him to be my partner for the opening of my new shop. I have communicated my wants…

Photo of Buddha head in Pallava backyard.

Can you accept life as it is?

Letting go
means accepting life just as it is:
elusive, free, spontaneous and without limits.
- Zen practice

I’m lucky to have the luxury to enjoy full moon from my bed. There are times when I feel disturbed by the light before sleep but most of the time I feel blessed that the light showers me. I spent quite long time in bed before sleep enjoying moonlight last night. It’s so nice to watch the ‘white night’ when dark is not dark, when I could enjoy trees' and plants' shapes. Smiled.

Sebetulnya ga ada ya orang yang peduli sama kita? My neighbor friend concluded the other day that hardly anyone cares about our lives. I smiled. That’s very true! I agreed but like him I often felt surprised still. So let’s laugh at complicated life where the standard is unseen. The above quote I shared with a good friend this morning is just perfect to describe my need today.

I decided to stay home today. I don’t want to think about business. The issues are not light but hardly any one shows interest to share ideas with me. That’s fine. Every one carries load too. Time to understand others. Meet myself or get a professional help to ensure satisfying results. I smile a lot since morning. I enjoy life so much. I let go. I accept. I enjoy the unpredictable. I pause for a day.

Life resumes tomorrow.

Photo of my bedroom ceiling, part that I see each morning I do yoga.

Have you given life your 'all'?

Be demanding of oneself, be indulgent towards others.
- Confucius

What the day is it today? I couldn’t help asking after observing girl staffs in the bank and supermarket wearing nice kebaya and sarong. Purnama was yesterday, kajeng kliwon just passed, so? Hari Kartini Mbak… I felt like fainted. How could I miss? I could easily notice our woman hero’s day in Jakarta but in Bali where kebaya and sarong are one of their daily outfits? I didn’t expect. I lost track of days and its connection.

Today I made a pact with myself. It’s Monday, a good day to start anything. I told myself that from now on every day from Monday to Friday I have to: spend at least two hours reading things I like; use an hour or two reading things I need to read; go out to look after at least two items for business; and stay in to work on at least one business paperwork (emails, orders, text messages). Of approximately 18 hours of my waking hours in a day, that takes up about 11-12 hours. The rest 6-7 hours are for cleaning, preparing and having meals, working-out/doing yoga, blogging, chatting and being lazy. Can I do that? I have started.

I haven’t started reading anything but had ran two errands for business: having discussion with Ketut, my ex staff, and checking out large mirror for the shop. I also got a contact of the biggest spa products and boxes manufacturer in Gianyar through a packing shop near the mirror shop. Nice! Now I need to work on any paperwork at home but wait… My Singaporean girlfriend contacted me again regarding ex Frangipani space. She has an idea to open a charity shop. A crazy idea, she thinks. She is an angel. Funky angel I like. I told her that I would do anything to help from Ubud. We exchanged a few more text messages and her last message was Be happy. Life is short.

Very true. That’s why I also add into the pact three more to do in a week: eat meat at least once as part of blood type O diet which I tend to forget, spare time to meet at least one good friend, and have something done in salon (for my body and supporting Ayu). I had lamb for lunch to mark the effectiveness of the pact. My French girlfriend has signaled me twice about when to meet. I need to break and meet her so we decided to meet some time this week in Sanur, our half way. And lastly, I had creambath with Ayu after lunch. It’s her pregnancy check-up tomorrow.

So before the mechanism really works, I have made significant progress. I look forward to enjoying the results in the end of the week. Give life our ‘all’. A friend reminded me. Thank you.

Photo of flowerbed in Celabuung.

How did you spend your Sunday?

I’m only sad in a natural way
And I enjoy sometimes feeling this way
The gift you gave is desire
The match that started my fire

It’s funny. The past few days I play The Paris Match of The Style Council again and again. Since yesterday I even switched the ‘Repeat One’ in my iTunes meaning the song will repeat itself till no one knows when. I happened to listen to the 80s songs when the iTunes played all songs in order the other day. It seems The Paris Match is always my favorite. The lyric is back in my memory and funny because I never knew what the lyric is about. I simply like the refrain and the sexy closing in French. Later I noticed that I particularly like the “I’m only sad in a natural way / And I enjoy sometimes feeling this way” part. I sang it loudly and happily. Ah so nice…

I had special Sunday morning. I still carried heavy from the past few days. Well, it’s not that heavy but it has weight. It starts since my friend asked for my help, then Aga who couldn’t deliver my order but asked more of my help… I don’t know which annoys me most but I just don’t like to feel that people rely on me. It seems that I was too easy in the past.

Been curious, I checked. Uh it’s purnama today. No wonder I feel inconvenient and restless the past few days. Poor Ngurah in Pallava. I used to waive his ‘inaccuracy’ in texting, this morning I snapped Don’t use exclamation mark when asking me. Now I giggled. It’s good that people don’t realize my weakness during purnama, if not, they could approach me other time that would ensure higher success rate. Time like this is good for me to recognize my other part.

I didn’t have plan for the day. Only later I felt like I need to make a trip I never made to be away from my nest while expand my horizon. I considered two options: to be by myself or be with friend that has positive energy. I checked Bali map to choose the destination first. I even thought to go to airport and pick any flight out. Visit Makassar could be fun too. But no, I want to explore Bali first. I also dropped the option to stay overnight. I love my bed.

I tried my luck when called Amal, my girlfriend in Denpasar. Why her? She is one with dynamic life, positive, a bit serious, but has many interests that are different from me. I like that. We both like to expand. Some people are really inspiring. Yesterday I exchanged text messages with a friend I know since the 80s. He is friend of my sister and become my good friend since she lives in the US. I admire his spirit in life. I just found out lately that he reads a lot and we've shared like for some books. And only yesterday he shared links to his two blogs about his thoughts on music he loves (progressive rock) and his reviews on books he read that have been published in national newspapers. I visited the two blogs and was amazed by his passion for both. What an interesting life: passionate about work as consultant, music and books. Does he lead a balanced life? I could see…

I'm happy that I have chosen the right option to be away from my cage for a few hours. I really enjoyed driving from home to Sanur in the nice afternoon. I met Amal by the street and off we went roaming Sanur shops. Sanur is like a different world. It's just nice to see the different side of Bali. I add another destination to my tour list.

Driving back was as fun. I liked the challenge to drive in the dark. It’s so nice to feel that the full moon following me. It’s so bright. I passed some big pura that were busy celebrating purnama. I have spent my Sunday very well.

Photo of the famous bridge in the Green Campus, Mambal.

Can you do me a favor?

A friend who lives outside Indonesia asked me to do her a favor the other day. She asked me if I could arrange a place in Jakarta to use as studio for her artist friend in Yogya. I told her that I don’t think I could find a low-priced rent in Jakarta but might find one in Ubud. Later she told me that this guy is penniless and wouldn’t be possible to pay the rent and transportation from Yogya. It got me thinking. Nothing is free nowadays. I appreciate her good intention to help, but putting me in a situation to provide?

My neighbor friend is right about some people who feel free to lean on somebody else. Like him, I was so lenient about it in the past because I had and still have the sources (of many kinds). But let’s ponder further, we also have to realize that we could not keep supplying niceness meaning ‘feeding others’. We too are struggling in our lives. If we appear to have easier life, that actually doesn’t come as easy as it looks either. It's because we know how to work out this hard life we could appear easy. We all need to learn from the ups and downs of life (or business). An Australian businessman in Ubud once told me ‘don’t believe in luck, it’s all hard work’. It took me a few seconds before agreed. Nothing falls from the sky.

I’d been nice to many people in the past in the ‘lending-money department’. Not that I want to stop doing it but I also have to consider the concept of education in it. Giving the fish-line, not the fish. In the past I didn’t take time to ponder such aspect because all came easy for me but now I need to. This is the time where I swim in the fast current that I need the swimming skill. I have to learn how to help people without being drawn myself.

So the past days, as things start again, I remind myself to set up a border. Helping out is always nice and necessary but to know the limit and protect self from being carried away is also important. I don’t feel comfortable with this extra work in my mind that I have to work out how to help whoever without destructing the concept of ‘helping’. Grrr…

I went to check out my new shop this noon. It was so hot. It has shown significant progress but still I need the builder to do this and that. We also planned to make table and shelving. Hope it could finish in one week. I also need to start seeking the auspicious day to open a new business. I really hope the shop could open no later than early May. It’s a new challenge. I feel like starting from zero. Well starting any business, even small, it always feels new.

I contacted my neighbor friend to seek advice and he said that he’s still pampering self. Yea. It’s Saturday! He has inspired me to make the day salon day. I pampered myself in Ayu’s hands just now. Mbo Yan is coming in any minute.

What a beautiful Saturday late afternoon. I’m enjoying the best moment in the life in Bali: listening to Bali gamelan playing loudly in the back of my house. It’s practice session it seems. It’s been on since last week. The dynamic rhythm jiggles my spirit.

Photo of my shop today. More red, more black.

What does it take to make life perfect?

There are two things that hit me in the morning. The need to ‘roll my own time management system' and ‘whatever I fear, I must face’. It starts when I spotted Brida, a new book from Coelho. How I want to start reading… Reading Coelho’s book is like bungee jump, I couldn’t stop once I start. I need a block of time. I take my leisure time seriously. Do I feel guilty about it? LifeDev.com has taught me to unschedule: schedule the fun stuffs then find time to do what needs to be done. The approach is realistic. We all couldn’t avoid the time trap called procrastination so let’s try the different approach. I could see the effectiveness though.

The latter is about my feelings yesterday. My girlfriend showed her disagreement when I expressed my inferior feeling. That’s not you! she snapped. I laughed. As human, I couldn’t always keep feeling superior. But fine, she has reminded me in a way to list my super achievements. She enjoyed my list. That’s my sister. She was satisfied.

And later in the evening a friend reminded me to stay positive about my insect bite spot. Only if he knew, I talk to my insect bite spot everyday that I want the spot to return to normal soon. I do it often especially when I stand before a mirror. I send positive energy to help the wound heal without leaving permanent scar. But when I utter something that sounds negative, that’s part of me as human. I’m scared.

Whatever I fear, I must face. That is. I dealt with cousin Aga today. He came over to check out my new shop. I am a perfectionist but I don’t want to be slave of stuffs. As far as I want to keep my standard high, I also have to focus on my main goal. I'm scared again in this department. Perfectionism leads me to endless unsatisfactory feeling. Hey, life is good and… imperfect!

Photo of a not-good-looking but nice fruit called srikaya that I enjoy so much in Ubud.

What the day is it today?

Some times I wonder how the Balinese keep track of the endless ceremonies all year long. They never miss it! Do they check the Hindu calendar every now and then if not every day? For me, I would check if I notice an escalation in busy-ness around house and in other places. Like this morning when I saw Pak Pugig went to shrine in my garden before 7, it’s unusual. He usually pray with banten in the afternoon, after the sun dims a bit.

Ah Kajeng Kliwon day for the bad spirit. Mbo Yan once told me that her twins are required by their elementary school to wear baju adat with sarong on special days like Kajeng Kliwon, Purnama, and Saraswati. That reminds me of the students I saw in Ubud on some special days. I enjoy looking at them in baju adat but carrying school bags. They look pretty and neat. Very nice. I sense that they too are proud wearing the outfit because that’s the occasion when they could show their creativity of wearing matched kebaya, sarong, and sash; also their opportunity of wearing heeled sandals!

I realized more that I often made mistake because of the Balinese life rhythm. As an ex city girl, I plan my day according to my mood and the day (reversed order when in Jakarta). It seems that in Bali, I also have to observe what the day is for the Balinese. I like to go out early, or anytime before 9:30. In Ubud, many business don’t start that early although it does in other part of Bali like Kuta and Legian that start at 9 o’clock. Business in Ubud area are more laid back. They open their business after 10 or 10:30, even many do after 11. The reason can be as simple as Masih jemput anak dulu! (pick up kids from school) or like today Sembahyang dulu di rumah (pray at home in the morning). On a special day like today, their banten and the way they pray are more elaborate. They're dressed up in baju adat as well. So please understand…

In short, I did little this morning. By 11, I couldn’t take the heat of the sun any longer. It’s breezy and fine under the shade but driving is quite torturing. I don’t want to burn myself. Anyway, I finished my errands quickly and returned home.

My effort to search for furniture maker still results zero. Now I know that contacts can only be collected by time. I have lots of hotel contacts but not of display-shelving maker. Auch. I envy shops that have nice shelving. Please tell me where do you have it made?

Did other minor but major things? Also zero. I couldn’t make progress. If I want to spend more, hiring a professional would ensure my peace of mind. But?

Photo of monk statues in Tegallalang, Ubud.

Wouldn’t it be nice if we could share the load?

Leading a business can be lonely. My friend reminded me this morning. For me, running a business is ‘lonely’. I vented out (with light heart) my load over short online chat. There are times when I feel so lonely in running three shops. All decisions have to come from me and I have to deal with 'office politic' among staffs too. I have to close my ears but open my eyes. I have to listen but don’t need to see. Those things. It could be frustratingly fun.

A friend offered me a potential business, or what she thought potential. I’d known the characteristics of such business from my observation. Sweat a lot and earn a little. I gave her quite long explanation what we would get in the end apart from the small profit, a complaint. She understands. Glad.

Yes, the three shops I manage now is enough for me. While earning is always essential, I don’t want to put myself into a new stress of trying out a new experience. I have lots in my obligation list already and I’m the one who have to pull all the strings to make things happen. Aah so lonely.

I got away from my thought. I tried out my new vacuum cleaner. I vacuumed mattress and gaps between my bedroom's wooden floors. It’s perfect. So nice to have a vacuum cleaner. Cousin Aga laughed a lot when I shared him my experience Now you know that you still need a lot for your house. Yes, I feel like a newly-wed bride owning a house for the first time. It feels so good to enjoying simple things.

And later after taking car to car-wash, I took time in the heat cleaning the car trunk. I just realized how messy I’d been. I rarely checked the trunk that I found out my boys like to store anything there. I decluttered. Decluttering always gives me nice feeling. My bed, my trunk. Aah.

I haven’t made significant progress today. A part of my mind escapes the obligations, another part urges me to decide quickly. I don’t want to feel lonely. I have plan to share my load with my staffs so I wouldn't feel it.

Photo of bamboo being dried in Kul Kul, Mambal.

Do you have anything to conquer today?

Ubud street is quiet the past few days. Only tourist buses crowd the market in the afternoon but not many tourists seen walking in the streets. Driving is so pleasant because the traffic is smooth and as Ubud needs only 20 minutes to reach the farthest end of any direction running errands takes no time.

I found my mind wandering while driving today. I’ve known Ubud street by heart, I also know the character of each part of the street, so I could drive safely with my new habit. This morning I realized that I have so many little things that need my attention. The issue is I could not pull all the strings together because there are parts that beyond my control. It frustrates me a little bit some times. I don’t like to feel I have no power to use my own hands to make things happen. Of course, nothing in the world that doesn’t need gotong royong (other people’s help).

Anyway, it’s not that bad actually. It’s just my contemplation. I was bubbly with shelving design that took up my morning. I drew my design in proper proportion to get clearer picture of the space. I checked out the space too. I’m happy with my idea because it’s applicable. Yes, I’m going to create a space in the shop for me to work. I will make it like a studio with artworks that people are welcomed to enter my world, my style, my thought. Hm.

So I couldn’t do much because of many factors apart from the heat of 11 o’clock. I took some interior coffee-table books and magazines from Pallava then drove home before 1. I should start earlier tomorrow. Sometimes it’s not easy to start early especially when I need to answer phone calls or have unplanned chores to do before leave home. Anyway, I enjoy my time in Ubud so much. Every second is a challenge to conquer.

Photo of a picture in junk-mail a friend shared today.

Why is liberation a luxury?

Celebrate my resignation from Lombok? Again, my neighbor friend was itchy for a celebration. I didn’t have fixed plan for the day except I need to drop by the shop project to check out the progress. Ya, close to 12. Later when I ironed clothes I had an idea for us to do before lunch that he agreed. Great!

If I had a limousine, I would let you drive. I like your style: safe and elegant, even in a not easy terrain. I just made a U-turn in a narrow street in a village when he said that. We drove through a village that has sharp contoured road and nice view. He said that as Balinese he could not live in Bali village because the community wouldn’t leave him alone. I never thought of that. He’s right. As ‘foreigner’, I would get different treatment. Hm nice to realize such fact. I guess in all villages around the world, people would face the same issue.

We made two stops on the way back. My friend has been eying for Loro Blonyo (Javanese couple statue) the past few weeks. He liked to make a stop to check out if there’s any nice statue he feels suitable to sell. I become aware of what he likes so could inform him. In the end, he bought a couple in a Loro Blonyo ‘factory’.

Our lunch was so-so in a nice warung near Ubud entrance. We talked about liberation this time. It seems that we hardly come to the end of this topic. He said that I look much happier ‘without cloud’ now. I was surprised that he could ‘see’ that. He said that he feels strange to feel happier after free himself from a job that gives him $6,000 a month. He understands now that to have freedom to manage own time is priceless. I couldn’t agree more while money is not important (but essential) to be able to work for self is luxury. Grin.

I got home around 2 happy. Three hours out but felt like I’ve done many. My friend who started the day at 4 felt the same. I made two phone calls discussing heavy topics. Thing that I preferred not to do but actually need to be done. I told my girlfriend through online chat that I just realized I have many significant issues to handle at the moment. I have to face them one by one without too much thinking. I believe in time.

Photo of Loro Blonyo republic.

How is it like to shop without a list?

I had nice morning chatting with a friend. I feel it’s Sunday if I could chat with friends who work 'normal hours'. It’s so nice to catch up and discuss about nothing. I had short morning because I expected my girlfriend from Jakarta to come to my house with her three friends. It’s another kick to tidy house more. Actually I could get my house tidy in minutes, if I want, but it’s not easy to discipline myself some times.

My girlfriend and her friends admired my house. Like an old record, again I repeated telling the whole story of how I found and acquired the house. They considered me lucky. Well, I am. I also explained who’s the owner and how’s the neighborhood. And further, how to get a house and live in Ubud in general. Now I become an Ubud marketing after being a guide for long time.

One friend from Bulgaria showed his interest in getting a house when we were shopping in my neighbor’s shop on their way out to parking. I rarely checked out the shop but today I joined my friend shopping. He bought a really nice Ganesh and I bought an unexpectedly low priced Atintya (Hindu God) bronze. I never saw one in the shape of stand-alone statue. Usually in the form of two-dimensional wall-hang and made of panca datu (five different metals). I won’t put it in a shrine but I like the idea to have one in my Ubud House so I’m happy to have a ‘funky’ Atintya by chance.

It was a strange decision that I went to Denpasar today. I bought a vacuum cleaner to vacuum my mattress and many places in the house. After experiencing ugly insect bites, I become a bit paranoia about the idea of having bedbugs in bed or wherever in the house and car. Ubud is humid and I don’t use air-conditioner. It’s a perfect playground for such creatures. Other than buying a vacuum cleaner? My cousin Aga and I spent hours in Carrefour bought practically nothing. We chatted a lot about family issues and his life in general. I realized that there are times when people need others to listen so I did diligently.

Like my Bulgarian friend who decided to have a house in a country he only visited once, today I also feel like I had a big appetite for shopping but without shopping list and ended up spending more for the fuel. But of course, my interaction with Aga is invaluable. So?

Photo of my new Atintya.

Isn't it nice to feel bubbly?

What a great morning! I was so productive. I mopped all floor, did one load of laundry, and ironed two loads from yesterday. I had nice chat with a good friend. And the combination of all had made my morning. I was so bubbly when starting the day after shower. I started making layout of my new shop and found out that I have lots of idea. Too many!

I missed some measurements that I thought it would be nice to drive downtown to check out the project. I drove up first to Pallava to check out stuffs when I ended up having lunch with my still-upset neighbor friend. I let him poured out his disbelief. His boss has shown his true self that hurts my friend. I reminded him to stay calm and face this properly. He takes my advice.

I felt so relaxed. Ubud weather was nice: dry but no sun. I drove around before met my girl friend from Jakarta who came with three colleagues from the US. I took them to Pallava and met my neighbor friend to study about Balinese art. Like always, he’s one of my tour destinations.

Anyway, everyone loved shopping in Ubud. I took them to Jalan Hanuman to check out silver jewelry and else. Three hours is not enough. They had to rush to Kecak and Fire Dance performance in the evening, then dinner with me at Nomad – another tourist destination – that serves Balinese food tapas of 12 to taste Balinese cooking.

I had a chance to catch up with my girlfriend who I have known 18 years from my office day. She still enjoys working in office so it’ll take time to persuade her to retire soon. I know the feeling. It must be hard for her to start thinking of what-to-do after a 9-to-5 routine for decades. Well, ask me.

Photo of my shop the other day.

Why do people throw their problem to us?

What a strange day! My aged neighbor came to see me when I was mopping floor outside this morning. She asked me to move my car from ‘her’ parking space. Knowing that many people have experienced a real fight with her, I simply said yes. Two hours later I heard someone banging my door when I was in the bathroom. It’s Betty. She threatened to stand in my porch until I move my car. I invited her to wait inside. I was thinking to take my time in the shower but then… I better move my car quickly or she would ruin my living room. She hadn’t finished with me even after I moved my car. She pointed at me and said she would bang my door again next time she sees my car in her area again. After almost three months she claimed her space today?

I didn’t say anything during the whole drama. I just smiled. When I drove out I wondered if I have stood up for myself in the case. But I preferred to save my energy and more… my balance! I kept the thought. My neighbor friend who joined me to lunch happened to experience similar drama in which his conglomerate boss have treated him cheaply. It becomes our topic of the day how people could treat others not nicely. And as we have strong bargain position we have nothing to lose. With or without them, we are still okay.

We laughed a lot like usual. We checked out my new shop under renovation, walked from shop to shop, and shopped a bit. He’s happy with me having a car. So perfect, he said, nice company and independent (drive him and pay own meal unlike other girlfriend). His evil mind. We kept pondering how people could lose their sense over tea by the soccer field. We concluded our discussion with what a good life we have because we have no bad record in the past. We have used our sense very well. Yes, life is good.

For awhile. I met Mbo Yan and the twin girls at Yumi’s salon at 4. Obviously it was not a good time for us to get together. Yumi was in bad mood since it’s been three weeks her boyfriend took her motorbike without news. She asked us to sit outside the salon. Meaning outside in the porch. I didn’t have issue. I was just happy chatting with the girls but apparently the girls felt bad about it like Ketut – my landowner – showed me this morning. Well, for me, I feel sorry for Betty and Yumi more.

It reminds me of the ending of a song by Fish my sister like that I also like very much: Don’t give me your problem!!

Photo of a sign in Bintang Supermarket in Ubud.

Isn’t it nice to be in a constant battle?

I realized today that it’s not easy to discipline myself. I have all the time for myself so it’s up to me how I want to use. I consider myself an artist or someone who is governed by mood so time is not the context. And as I live by myself without helpers, I have to allot some times for household chores of clean house, do laundry, and busy in the kitchen (that surprisingly including prepare food!). After the chores: I need to think about my art business; I want to create artwork some time; and I want to read fiction, personal development, and business books. Tell me how I could allot equal time to do all of them every day!

Having too much time overwhelms me. Often I feel I don’t do enough. I like to use my friend as mirror. Someone who has to divide time for work (that demands a lot of time), kids, PhD assignments, and personal life that includes initiating a business for later life. I feel small especially after minus the former three. I have nothing to do!

I’m going to have friends visiting this weekend. Apart from my need to schedule my activities because of the visit, the past three days I helped out in arranging their itinerary in Bali. My friend brings three colleagues from the US who never went to Bali. And strange enough, she couldn’t get good rate when she called the hotels while I didn’t need to negotiate because the hotels already gave me the just-right rate. It seems I have to start travel business soon. Anyway, nothing warms me than a message says I’m SO excited and look forward to seeing you.

I had quite long errands to run that I tried to attend one by one with patience. I took time to having discussion with the builders in the new shop. I’m happy with the progress. The space looks more me with three major colors I choose: red, black, and white. I could imagine it will look warmer after I put stuffs in the place. Ah can’t wait.

I made two stops in Tegallalang to search for new ideas. I’m lucky to have stopped in the right spot with at least two shops that have good stuffs I could recreate to put in ‘low-priced-but-chic’ corner. Yes, I’m still battling with myself to start selling selected ‘mass art’ after almost a decade selling high-art as main focus. It should be okay, I tell myself again and again.

Ubud was hot after 12. I melted but I kept stopping in places. Again, I love this little town where I could get anything I need at anytime because of no traffic. So by 2, I’ve done all my errands. I was hungry but preferred to prepare lunch myself with vegetables I bought. I giggled. What the difference I have made! I have a chopping board now!

Photo of red doors in Chinatown, Singapore.

Why couldn’t I stick to my plan?

You take care. Now you look after yourself. My good friend reminded me through online chat when I told her that I wasn’t well the past two days. I had flu symptoms that had lingered since I was in Singapore. I took the last bomb last night and it seems to work. I feel much better today.

I had strange day. My washing machine 'exploded' after a few minutes running. I had to use flashlight to see what’s happening at 5:30 in the morning. I smelled something burned. I took easy and waited till the sun shines. Glad it’s just the extension cable. I might have dropped softener into it because I remember I spilled when pouring into the tray. Anyway, it worked till finished its cycle.

I planned to stay in to finish my paper work. I need to compose some letters and play with numbers to get idea of the cost. Uh. Power out since morning and it’s just in the complex meaning we all had to wait for an electrician to have a look. My cell phone and laptop had low batteries. My spirit dropped.

I took my umbrella and went out before noon. I walked to meet Ayu and got treatment like a royal. Some times life goes unplanned. That’s fine.

Photo of a dried frog to eat in Chinatown, Singapore.

Why did we decide to change our life?

Ya, saya besok kesana. When I replied to Ketut’s text message yesterday, I realized that holidays had come to end. I’m glad that I have used my time away from routine well. Yes, I need and deserve to be away after some major changes in life the past ten months. Not that I feel tired of it but I practiced “the Zen of going to the rest room” according to the book I’m reading Not Always So by Shunryu Suzuki. He says:

“This is to observe your situation accurately, to clear your mind and begin from your original starting point. This is like going to the rest room.”

I entered my house after 9 o’clock last night. It was drizzling when I unpacked my bags in the car. I couldn’t carry my big duffel bag inside the house because it’s too heavy. I was tired and badly needed to sleep. I sneezed quite a lot too. It took me about an hour to make the house ready. I don’t like waking up in an ‘empty house’ so I unrolled kilim, prepared my desk, and of course made bed properly.

It was still early when my neighbor friend invited me to have early lunch to celebrate having a new staff. It becomes our routine now to find a reason to celebrate something together. And to repeat our new mantra Life is good. I couldn’t promise him that I could be on time since I wanted to check out my new shop’s renovation progress and run some errands in town.

I forgot that Ubud is small. I could finish my errands in an hour. My shop is still in a mess but the builder has good plan of what to do already. I’m happy that he is smart and has good sense of neatness. I could expect the shop ready in a week. Then it’s time to move stuffs from the other shop Pallava before finding an auspicious day to hold a melaspas (spiritual opening ceremony). Ehm.. it’s so nice to have something to anticipate.

The lunch with my friend was more a business meeting. It’s so nice of him to sharing me the way he constructs his financial management in his business. I learned how to whip the staffs to work seriously, not only menang megandong. A new concept I learned about Balinese today which means “to win a situation by acting like a naïve person”. I’m interested to learn about the concept because I feel the same about my staffs in Jakarta. I see that they just take easy with the quiet situation. They don’t come up with ideas but more in waiting mode while skipping working hours some times. I'm not happy with the latter.

My friend also interviewed me about how I come to a decision to change life completely by moving to this small town. For him, his decision to change his lifestyle from working as professional overseas and in Jakarta to be an entrepreneur in Ubud is big. Even as Balinese, to move within the island needs a 'serious' adaptation. I rewound my feeling. I don’t have the same feeling. We agreed that maybe because I’d been in and out Ubud seven years before I moved in last year. Also, I'm not Balinese meaning I need to adapt anyway. That makes difference.

I got home with lots of ideas to reconstruct my business. My idea to close down Frangipani has almost come to a realization. I just need to calculate then push things to happen as soon as next month. And more, I also need to write a letter to my four staffs so that they understand why I decided it. That this is not easy for me too. Also for friends who know me (and the shop) well. Some have showed care about my plan to close down the business in Jakarta through text messages. They replied to my offer to continue renting the space.

Well, our life has to move forward. When it's time to change, change. It's liberating.

Photo of the shop today.

What can we learn from Singapore shopkeepers?

The past three days I enjoyed Kinokuniya bookstore for hours each visit. This bookstore is huge. Each section has vast collection of books. The other day I spent long time checking out books about shop windows or displays to get ideas for my small shop in Ubud. The electrician has started working since three days ago. The painter would work soon after the electrician finishes his work. Once the space is ready, I need to order cabinets and look for a nice table for wrapping counter. More ideas have popped up after browsing the books.

Yesterday I came again but to spend more time in women section that has books on handicraft, yoga, relationships, motherhood, and children. I used to stop at handicraft and yoga book shelves but yesterday I intentionally spent more time in relationships book shelves. It’s interesting to learn about lots of books have been published in effort to save relationships. The approach varies from how to rekindle love, how to survive from infidelity, and how to end a relationship nicely. That’s the three main topics.

I browsed each topic with curiosity. It seems that maintaining a relationship is not an easy thing to do. So many tips! It got me thinking which topic I need to read at the moment. I feel that I’ve mastered each topic. Having learned about various people's contexts, I hardly think a book could fit (read: could be helpful) in reaching the goal of saving a relationship.

That’s enough about a never-ending issue. I also learned about one nice thing about Singaporean shopkeepers: they know what they sell and they share it with the customers. I like that they feel confident to approach the potential customers and start explaining their product: what is good and what is not good. "To be frank" is good, but "to know the product"? Some don’t take time to learn. So I was surprised when a shopkeeper warned me of the bag's color I bought bleeds. He cared because I was wearing all white clothes meaning I might be a person who wears white a lot. It’s true but I have thought about the bag two years so that wouldn’t change my mind. I showed my appreciation for his frankness.

I was also impressed by the shopkeepers in a shop that sells appliances that one needs special knowledge to be able to tell how things work plus what’s the strengths and the weaknesses of the product. Amazed by the knowledge they had, I enjoyed listening even to the explanation of the product I wasn’t interested in. It’s so nice. I realized that such attitude has a significant influence on people’s buying behavior. Now I need to weapon myself and my staffs with the same knowledge and more importantly with the confidence and the urge to speak up – to share more in an assertive way.

So that’s what I did the past two days in Singapore. Like in Jakarta, not many I could do in the city except shopping and dining. While dining is not my passion so shopping was certainly my main activity.

Photo of the roofs of a Chinese temple in Chinatown, Singapore.

How to adapt to change?

Singapore has changed my skin condition. My face feels smoother but I could see dryness in my arms and legs. The insect bites areas look dark and black but it has started to peeling. It’s time now that I have to hold my other hands from peeling the dry skin off. I peeled a little to check if it leaves mark like scar. It seems fine because underneath I could see my pale skin. Glad. Hope hope hope. It reminds me of the days my sister and I applied thin layer of glue for paper on our arms for the attraction of peeling after it dries.

One thing that stays about Singapore that I don’t feel comfortable: the buildings have freezing air-conditioner. Every building. Although outside is not so humid but going inside a building is tough. I used to wear sleeveless top, now I still need shawl over my sleeved top after some time inside building.

And what’s the fashion now? Dress. Retro dress of the 50s to 70s. Many with geometrical motifs in colors. Since motifs is not my style, I couldn’t follow the trend. And also, the style has lots of 'openings'. Shorts too is in fashion now. I wonder how tiny figures of Singaporean survive the cold of air-conditioner. I also learned that black is back. I prefer to wear all black too lately.

Still I need to watch my collection. My friend who lives by a remote beach in Bali told me the other day that when she decluttered her closets before moving, she found out that her fashion was still in the 90s. She didn’t realize that she kept those for long time now. It got me thinking about my closets because I still keep many clothes from five to ten years ago. Like my friend, I don’t have weight problem so we hardly had a chance to refresh the closets. Back to classics? Can I say that to have a reason why I keep old clothes?

I don’t have fixed plan for the day. I might just go to the vast Kinokuniya bookstore nearby to study. Get inspiration…

Photo of Chinese lion by Orchard Road sidewalk.

How to stop thinking about business?

Catching some morning rays, I got inspirations for Frangipani business plan. I’m not the one who's able to neatly write down ideas. I like to keep ideas in mind although I believe the effectiveness of materializing ideas through notes. Anyway, after not doing since my office days, I drew timeline and listed the ideas without priority and chronology. I continued doing while having breakfast in the sun. I was lucky the usher gave me the seat because not many seats caught sun rays.

I canceled my plan to visit Siem Lim Tower for checking out laptop for Aga. He said it’s okay if I could not make it. I decided to work in my new office while I’m here, Starbucks. Like Tutmak in Ubud, I shared the place with many wireless-connection users. Working people in the morning and students in the evening. It’s so convenient.

I have come to a realization that I need to be realistic about the business situation in Jakarta. I know some of my long time customers would miss Frangipani but it couldn’t stay for some people only while it actually suffers inside. It's not just financially, but also not good for the four staffs who feel unmotivated already after long quiet business.

So I wrote emails and text messages to close friends about my plan to close down Frangipani before summer. I send out an announcement in attempt to get a renter to continue Frangipani one-year remaining rent. I’ve learned how to do things from observing businessmen in Ubud. How to determine price and how to get things done quickly. It takes time and courage to do especially when have to deal with staffs. I want to be fair but at the same time I also want them to learn something from the business situation for their own personal growth.

It’s funny that it’s just yesterday I told myself to enjoy my time away from business because holidays would end in a few days. The decision to enjoy my present moment only lasts less than 24 hours. My friends thought I have a good life because I‘m not bound to working hour but they don’t know that actually my working hour is 24/7. I process business plans in the background even while I’m having holiday.

Enough about business. I spent the evening with a friend’s friend. Very nice woman in search for love in Singapore (while doing 9-to-5 job). She’s a good writer as well. I forgot to tell her to write her life story like Eat, Love, Pray by also an American. We talked about many things, life in general. It’s always nice to learn about cross-cultural experiences. It’s different from one person to another.

________________

That was yesterday. I missed publishing a post last night because I mingled in Starbucks Friday-night crowd. It’s simply because we shared electric outlets that ended up five people with laptops in a cubicle started talking. Three watched football in their own laptops with headphones, one browsed backpackers’ hotels in Bangkok, and I was going to publish my blog that never happened.

Photo of a bus station in Orchard Road.

How to look sexy in robe?

That’s what I thought when I changed into robe given by the hospital. I never liked it but I understand that many places hardly have amenities like robe and sandals in my size. I felt like I just got up and mingled with public in breakfast lounge straight from bed. I checked my hair. It didn’t help.

Anyway, this time I'm clever, I took a small bag to carry: book, note, and cell phones (yes, two). I didn’t have such idea in the past so I ended up waiting my turn to be examined doing nothing. So boring. There’s approximately 10–15 minutes between tests. I interviewed the girl who took measure of my body. She said that they could handle up to 15 ‘patients’ a day. I’m lucky that today they handle 8 patients only. Less crowd. Reasonable waiting time.

I giggled with the girl about my size. I only 153 cm tall, weight 43 kg, and have 80 cm waist. At 42, I feel so petite. I enjoyed looking at the screen of machine for Body Mass Index. I’m underweight obviously, the fat is in the normal range, and other parameter is either below normal or normal. Nothing passed ‘over’. I questioned myself if this is fine (especially the underweight part). The girl said I’m in low risk to get heart attack because of my waistline. That’s what Dr. Oz from Oprah said too.

Like always, I included treadmill test in the package to test the heart function. It’s an inconvenient test actually. Strangely, I took advantage of the test for my… cardio exercise. It’s been long I didn’t use treadmill. A year? More. And I was doing very well, as always too. One time the staff said that it’s typical for Indonesian who came for medical check-up: either they’re very ill or very healthy. I know which group I belong.

And mammogram! What happened today? The machine didn’t hurt me at all. I guess I’ve figured out how to handle my breast position and breathing. I’m really happy, not traumatic. Yes, I don't mind to do every year! The ultrasound scan also went well. I enjoyed the blurry screen without knowing what happening inside. I felt relieved when the staff said that my uterus and ovary looked beautiful. I asked her how is ‘not beautiful’. She said it looks cloudy and there’s mass, so if it's clear, it’s beautiful. I’m happy to hear that especially after the ultrasound scan of both breasts turned out to be beautiful too!

Being in hospital always gives me an uneasy feeling. And in a room with devices is even worse. I keep telling myself that I don’t want to be in such place when I’m not well. That’s why I’m doing this while I belong to the latter group: very healthy.

I was a happy girl when I took off the robe after three hours feeling ‘in bedroom’. A staff had her eyes out when saw me out of the room. Ah you are so sexy-aa! I couldn't see when you’re in robe. True.

I spent some hours at the Ikea. It’s in the same side of town so I decided to also do the visit to get inspirations. Ikea was in not-good shape because they’re refreshing the place: moving stuffs for new layout. It’s good and it’s not. It’s good that I didn’t see much and it’s not a good feeling to be in a store that looks disarrayed.

I spent late afternoon to early evening trapped in Paragon. It was raining hard that although with umbrella, I would not pass the rain without getting wet. Fine. I sat in a coffee shop reading a nice book.

Another homework of the year has done… The year? I found out today I was late for the check-up fourteen months!?

Photo of Zegna’s display window at Paragon.