The Creative Process

We were about to leave for attending the last day of the Festival when my good friend suggested me to open a class for making necklace. She had checked out my necklaces all morning and bought two; that gave her idea perhaps. But, what? She was inspired by a bead shop in Hawaii that has such class with charge of $25 per person.

I thought about the format of her idea on the way to the venue. No, it won’t work. I asked her to elaborate her idea further because I don’t see how I can teach people to make necklace. Making necklace is easy, what to teach? I remembered a writer said that he doesn’t believe in writing course. The same.

My friend patiently explained to me about teaching the creative process, after the technical basic and rules. Hm. I searched for success story to benchmark her idea. All I could remember is a well-known painter who has a painting class that produces painters of similar style. The idea doesn’t appeal to me. I still don’t get the formula of teaching people to be creative. Is it possible?

Anyway, I don’t reject the idea though. Even now I’m still processing it to, maybe, materialize. I remember seeing a disappointed kid and mom who could not get jewelry-making class on Sunday, on the kid's birthday. Unfortunately the studio didn't want to be flexible to give the kids opportunity to create something on her birthday. I cried for her. By the way, my friend’s idea had sent me back to my vague idea about having a small shop in Monkey Forest strip selling cute stuffs like necklace and other fun unique stuffs.

We continued the day happily. We wore identical dress – batik patchwork – like twins. With gorgeous necklaces made by someone for sure :-) Today we learned about crime writing. One of the speakers is the mind behind TV serial Bones, Kathy Reichs. She is a forensic anthropologist who writes out her actual case. I like the way she keeps her story cohesive by editing every time she continues her writing so she can keep the flow of thought. And Nury Vittachi is ever entertaining with his explosive elephant story. We had a good laugh while learning something in the 'backstage'.

There are at least two gay writers who talked openly about their unique work with the influence of their unique life. I’m amazed to realize that now we are able to accept the new phenomenon of 21st century life. No boundary.

I missed the last session with four loud columnists as we decided to go to Ganesha bookshop that sells second-hand and cultural books. It’s part of my Ubud tour for my friends who appreciate culture and like to read. Again, my friend was so good not to buy anything and I ended up with a stack of ‘treasure’ including the book of Kartini’s letters in English which I haven't read. I browsed the old book and found Kartini’s writing truly amazing in her era. If blog were to exist.. I look forward to reading my five books from the Festival and three from the bookshop. Nice Eid!

We spent a nice afternoon at ARMA – a painting museum with hotel (or the other way). The Festival held a tribute to Rumi in the hotel’s water garden. Very romantic. I told my friend to have an intimate wedding reception in the venue. I’m ready to organize for her. She likes my idea and again gave me idea to start a wedding / party organizer for exclusive small scale in Ubud. Yea!

Creativity continues to processing…

Photo of WJ, a Balinese journalist, by the water garden at ARMA.

The Interaction

Saturday, September 29

I like to plunge myself into a crowd of stranger, like a challenge to meet a character. I don’t follow a flock of people I know although I know quite many in the Festival. At least eight ladies from the Heritage, two Australian friends from last year, and some new Indonesian friends from last and this year. I like to just sit anywhere I want when come to any session, or lunch in food court. If I’m lucky, I can talk to an interesting character. Or listen to one, as some times I sat by a writer being interviewed.

Today’s main topic is the quest if anybody can write. I enjoyed listening to Shashi Tharoor’s session in the morning. He was an important person in the UN before, where he only had limited time to write. But of course he could not hold the urge to writing so he kept his writing ritual after work. And later the office asked him to ‘report’ his activity where he takes it as anyone’s activity off office: hiking, trekking, golfing. Interesting. At that time he chooses to write non-fiction because, according to him, it's easier to tune into his writing anytime he has time to write unlike writing fiction where he needs a solid time to be able to materialize his writing into a book. Understandable. Now he finished the office but travels a lot so he hasn’t been there yet to have time writing fiction.

Later in the afternoon, Christopher Merrill from University of Iowa responded to a question about whether we are all writer with interesting quotation. He quoted Marsalis’ comment about how to keep the jazz in the family (his well-known boys play musical instruments, various kinds), he said, his boys have interest. That’s very true! Talent can be key but interest that brings us to what we can master. Hm. We don’t have to be in our low to be able to produce a poem a day, that's what I heard later. We need to nurture the habit. That’s all!

In a flash I thought about where has my “a haiku a day” gone? I don’t spare time to produce a three-liner a day anymore? Lose interest? It got me thinking. Well, at least I still write a piece of writing a day.

I sat in food court dining table with a girl I know since last year. She is a psychologist who also writes as contributor in some noted newspapers. Interesting character. We were engaged in such a scientific conversation while she’s having lunch and I was reading her piece when I opened up a bit of my life story with such a scientific approach. I liked to see her reaction as a scientist. We had a good time!

I must say, people I listened to and met had entertained me today. I closed the day with listening to Made Wijaya, a successful Australian landscaper who has lived in Bali long time, about being foreign in Bali. He is more Balinese now. Funny guy who runs many columns. And the rest of the evening was spent with a nice girlfriend who had made me shopping in Pasar Ubud. We had long dinner with nice talk. Some old friends have the opportunity to see the new us through an unexpected interaction.

Photo of my favorite Ibu selling basket in Pasar Ubud who I met today.

The Unexpected

Yes, something was wrong with me yesterday. I saw the damage in the morning. I found out my cheap cellular connection could not receive text message from international number while we believe all numbers exist are connected. Are not. Now I understand what affected my mood yesterday. I learn.

And I lost my Festival tag. What a disaster! Such a careless shameful behavior that put the committee in such an uneasy discussion about issuing a second tag based on a receipt. I learn to be careful next time (not tying a tag on handbag) and they also learn to give each tag an exclusive identity so no one can swap or just use the tag they find. I wrote down my name on the back along with my cell number this time.

As I was in much better mood, I found today’s program interesting. And no such disturbing breeze although it was still extremely windy and cool. It was all my perception. Even overlap discussion topics didn’t bother me at all. At least three panel discussions discussed on how to write about another country or culture convincingly. How much the writer has to know or experience before writing? It’s interesting because it turns out many writers prefer to write something they don’t know that they have to do research more than they should before writing. Yesterday there’s a panel discussed about keeping the writer’s perception that a writer does not have to have the same perception the local have. That’s how a real presentation should be. One example mentioned is about writing on Indonesia from a two-day experience might help Indonesia gets its reputation back. Even more, today Kiran Desai mentioned about keeping the language imperfect for non-English speaking writing in English. Interesting!

Yes, the third session was for the highlight of the Festival – Kiran Desai – the youngest woman ever wins the Booker Prize. Her mother, Anita Desai, was present last year. Both have different style. Anita is so calm and soft as an Indian woman, and Kiran has the dynamic and fun of a younger generation. All participants attended the session. It was such an opportunity to watch a personality that had produced a masterpiece. She is loud.

We squeezed ourselves so that we could also see her expression while she shares her experience knocking many publishers’ door to get her work published. It was painful years for her although it’s rewarding in the end. I had her book for months now and only managed to read few pages. She discussed the details very well, too well, that a quick reader like me finds it too dragging. Well, I queued to get her signature on my copy while rummaging my tote bag. I left my camera after downloading last night. Hya! Instead of taking her pictures, I asked her a few questions while she’s signing. I like her. I promised myself to finish reading her masterpiece. She is fun and looked me in the eye. Great!

Three sessions were enough for half day. I took a break standing in sun to queue for simple lunch in food court. I could not avoid giving Mama a shock when she sees me two weeks from now. My skin has definitely changed its color.

I spent the afternoon very well. I didn’t fall asleep after nice lunch and sitting in nice cool weather. I was busy answering questions from people I met. Same old questions: Are you a writer? What do you do? Do you like writing? Where did you get your necklace? And also new way to approach me: I like your hairstyle! I’d been eyeing you since yesterday. He is Filipino movie director cum writer grown up in America and Europe and living in Bali the past twenty years. Such a small world. Hairstyle unites.

After all the unexpected, I found my day enjoyable. I am glad.

Photo of monkey stone in Pura Desa Ubud.

The Unseen

The Ubud Writers Festival's main events start today. This year’s theme is sekala niskala – the seen and the unseen. Balinese principle. I had tried to fit the program into my interest since I checked it out first time two months ago. Up to today I still find difficult. I’m not interested in the discussion of the unseen (read: witchcraft) that takes half part of the Festival.

Starts zero. I came to the Festival just before it officially opened. I met one of my last year’s Festival buddies – an Australian librarian. I also met some ladies from the Heritage as the organization sponsors four Indonesian writers to attend the Festival. Pretty fun to start.

I attended the first session in the Left Bank lounge that has air-conditioner. I don’t like. It blew full speed. I got headache but stayed on for an hour. Later I moved back to Indus and experienced the same. The wind blew too strongly. It’s fresh but… Oh. What happened with me? I felt tired and sleepy. I checked the program again and gave up at 13:00. I ended up attending half day program only. I sneaked out the venue and walked back home. It wasn’t a short walk but I needed a kick to wake me up. I felt a bit low.

I stopped by Dewi Salon and decided to get facial treatment, and later I took Mbok Yan home to massage me. A perfect way to escape my low and catch a short nap. I felt better after the pampering session. I kept the oil massage on my skin and did housework around home.

It was my time to reflect. I have several points that I feel sensitively wanting to change. I want to be: softer in sharing my opinion, smiling always so that I can remove my zoo expression, sensitive enough to understand what loved ones want and expect of me, sensitive enough to respond to any expression people share with me (regardless my feeling about it), understanding and able to refrain myself for assuming,… So many. I had it for a few days now. Nothing about regret. Merely observation and reflection. I want to be a better person. Much better.

Photo of the Festival’s poster by a street in Ubud.

The Surprises

Wednesday, September 26

Bali has many things to explore. Even Ubud alone. I’d been in and out Ubud numerous times still I could find new places to visit, new things to do, new people to meet, new ideas to materialize,… Many. But, I want to focus on the places. I realized yesterday how I had taken some places in Ubud for granted. I forgot how to see places like first time with an amazement as I start to feel being part of the place.

I remember the first months I lived in Jakarta, I explored the city like every corner has new interesting things to explore. And later after I joined the Heritage tours, I knew… I need to have tourist eyes in my city to know more, to see more,.. Explore!

The past two days I stretched myself to know more about Ubud’s nook and cranny. I went to see nice botanical garden (that's what I like to call the place) in Mengwi, Ubud’s neighbor city. It’s Pura Taman Ayun actually. I fell in like with the place since I saw it one midnight some three months ago on my way to Ubud from Pupuan. I had the place in mind till I actually visited the other day.

It’s a huge pura complex surrounded by moat that makes the place looks grandeur. Of course, because it’s pura where King of Mengwi retreats. It has huge front yard with green grass like golf course, an interesting pura in a closed complex but can be seen from the low walls surrounded the complex, and nice reasonable size of botanical garden in the back. It’s a well manicured garden with trees and bales here and there for visitors to just sit and enjoy the fresh weather. I felt like being in other world. I felt like a tourist in foreign country.

Since then I told myself to keep stretching my curiosity in place where I live. Seeing it from tourist eyes so can appreciate more as if no other opportunity to see. And yes I did more. I visited Jalan Kajeng for the first time too. Jalan Kajeng is a street in the middle of Ubud, near Puri Ubud, that I pass many times a day. I know a painter who has a studio there but never visited because I knew him in his other studio in Jalan Bisma. I know an interesting organization who deals with Indonesian textiles has a nice showroom in that street but never been either.

So I walked in. The street is narrow – one car with reasonable space for pedestrian. Many small homestays and local cafes, and souvenir shops in between. Like a tourist strip. How could I never know all about this? The Thread of Life, the home for Indonesian handmade textile, is unbelievably interesting. I admire the woman who had dedicated her life for the textile. The way she displays and give us education about the making is a full of dedication work – with passion, of course. Remarkable!

I really enjoyed my time in the showroom. I missed the evening presentation about Kerek (Tuban) batik, special program for the Festival. I just didn’t feel like to go. And as I walked down further the main street, I stopped by Lempad’s house. The famous traditional Balinese painter. The house-museum is there since god knows when. It’s a simple Balinese compound, nothing special about the building that doesn’t show Lempad’s existence. It’s just interesting to know a family opens the private compound for people to drop by and rummage in. Another tourist eyes at work.

I’m glad to know that Ubud (and Bali at the same time) has endless resources to feed my hunger for new things. The size of the place is not an issue, the richness is more of the attraction.

Photo of a sign in Jalan Kajeng.

The Concept

Monday, September 24

I’ve been idle the past two days. It’s weekend but today is Monday. Like in office, I start to plan of what to do this week and the coming weeks. The Ubud Writers Festival will occupy my attention this week and I will only have a few days before return to Jakarta. And another few days to prepare Eid and trip to Malang.

Ramadhan had slowed me down a bit, or a lot? Or, it’s just my excuse because I am now in the state of searching new ideas. I like to keep my necklace business but I need more ideas of how to market since I found out displaying is not an effective way to sell. And I’m not an aggressive type. Hm… maybe I need to build an MLM system for any business I have so I have people ‘working’ with me :-)

Anyway, Ubud was hot yesterday. ‘Summer’ starts in Bali. This is the beginning, end of the year will be worse because it will be wet as well. My challenge too to make life in Ubud bearable and can keep my creativity. I’m still processing ideas how to set up a business in Ubud that has good return. I remember my conversation with a businessman from Jakarta who sat next to me in airplane on the way here. I could not believe him more about setting up business but for fun more than for life because no such business can be profitable from the start. I know because I’d been in business almost a decade now where money just pass, not stay.

I observed three businesses in Ubud yesterday. The first one is a restaurant close to Pallava. It’d been open almost two years. The investment must be huge, we could easily see that, but the patron? My friend used to call the restaurant “my living room” because he was the only patron who came often with friends to have light meal or only coffee. As yesterday, I saw the restaurant had almost finished its facilities but still I consider it quiet. I calculated the overhead. It must be tough.

Meanwhile, the second business I observed is owned by my ex staff in Pallava. He set up an art shop with his Japanese girlfriend only months after Pallava opened in 2005. Only two years now, he already has another shop, bigger. I passed his new shop yesterday and felt happy to see his business grows. Discipline and attentive. And patience?

Definitely we need to be different to catch more attention in such tight competition like in Ubud. Market is limited and competitors are everywhere. I saw a successful new business last night, the third, a jazz lounge cum gallery by rice field. The premise was an art shop for long time – a quiet one. The new businessman who uses it now has turned a quiet place into something hip because they offer different concept. The businessmen are musician. Wife is Japanese saxophonist and husband is guitar player. Nice simple modern lounge with rice field as backyard. I felt like sitting in someone’s house party. Like many cafes in Bali, the setting is intimate. We share tables like in warung concept. Very nice (except the cow smell brought by the wind some times). Natural – the setting and the smell :-)

What a nice examples to ponder in the coming weeks about setting up a new business in Ubud. I feel challenged. I need to whip myself to just go and stretch myself more.

Photo of a yellow palm leaf near my bedroom windows.

The Stretch

The Ubud Writers Festival is around the corner. The other day, I looked at a stack of unread books I have from the Festival last year that sits under my side-table. The stack was uneven. It had mixed with books I acquired later along the year. It happened I needed a book to read, so I sat on the floor and took the books out. I checked them one by one and found many books I only read a few pages. Award winner book (usually featured in literary festival) is heavy in details. It’s not book for travel.

I decided to read Andrew Lam’s personal experience as Vietnamese refugee living in America, Perfume Dreams. He is a nice guy. I saw him in the Festival, even had a short hilarious chat with him. I just knew that he’s a good writer although actually I hadn’t read his writing at that time. Uh.. if I were... I could appreciate him more in the right time. I was excited though to reading the book. Belated excitement.

I read two chapters before left for Ubud and more in airplane. He has a nice way to express his dark feeling about his childhood. After more than four chapters, I felt ‘exhausted’ suddenly. His pain about his experience fleeing from Saigon when he was eleven and later struggling for identity as Vietnamese in America are thick. Too heavy for me. In the end, I just enjoyed his writing – his way to express – but to finish the book is another thing. Anyway, I’m just happy to finally read Lam’s work.

Fiddling around iPod the past few days makes me realized there are many things in life waiting to discover. Nothing special about iPod, it’s just me who has to learn how things work. Once I have discovered I can move onto new other thing like managing photos in computer. I hardly spent time organizing photos I take but enjoying photos in a friend’s computer has inspired me to organize mine so can share more digitally. I limit photo printing these days. Still good.

I had registered myself in the Ubud Writers Festival yesterday. I don’t find the program interesting but who could tell before experiencing self? So I open myself to discover more of other Lams I’d missed one year. Stretch is my goal this stay. I plan to visit at least two new places I’d never been.

Photo of a shop sign in Tegallalang.

The Rhythm

It’s been a long time I didn’t make a post for two days. I could not help it. I had marathon since an evening before yesterday. Knowing I would be busy yesterday, I packed up my stuff an evening earlier. I didn’t carry much, well big still, but I needed to organize stuffs from different locations inside house. That took time. I finished it before sleep though.

I’d been sitting in taxi by 9:30. Oh so early.. Both meetings I would have were in odd hours but it’s good because then I could attend both. But I was not really myself when I started my day. I was overwhelmed by the day even before the day started. Or, maybe, because I didn’t look forward to attending both meetings.

BA museum meeting in the morning was fine but so hard to come to a productive state. We made progress though after we had the subject in question’s history but then what? It’s a big project in a sense that it involves many parties, many heads, many ideas, many egos (maybe),… I preferred to stay in the background as usual. I’m not a front-liner type in such situation.

The next meeting was for the new art-group. I hesitated to attending like a school girl in a new year. Not sure if can like the new friends, not sure if can follow the curriculum, not sure how to handle the new situation,… Some times I could not believe I still have such feeling, my old feeling. I thought I’d been much better the past fifteen years.

I just went of course. I was fifteen minutes late and actually was happy to be among many new persons. Different group, different beat,…. Nice! Before too long I was engaged in arty conversations with the girls. And I even stayed longer with the leaders to laying out plan for the year and Bali trip next year. A new (old) friend asked me to join her to do an assignment in January. She was so excited to, finally, have a reason to meet me more often that we had tried hard since last year. She is so sweet. So I was excited again joining the new art-group. I feel the art-group is the only group that purely has people of same frequency. I found myself easy to be comfortable with the other members, unlike in other study groups. Art is so universal. It unites people of same interest.

I had only spent half day when finished the two meetings. If it were not because of dinner invitation at a good friend’s apartment, I would not have walking around in a batik fair in JCC. I had to kill time so it’s a good idea to meet creative friends at the fair. It was fun, always fun, checking out nice stuffs and meeting friends. I had a good time with many good friends although been a bit impulsive buying two nice woven cloths. I could not resist the temptation, the cloths are just too beautiful to miss :-)

I got in the apartment at 19:00 feeling exhausted. Another sweet obligation to do. It was a nice intimate dinner of five. I was with two nice chatty couples I had been liking for long time. It was a rare opportunity to be together as a couple lives in Bangkok now. I managed to stay alert for the four-hour dinner.

When I got home, I made another run to finishing up packing. When I slept after midnight, which I hadn’t done for quite some time now, I knew my body goodly needed rest. Thank goodness, I slept very well till morning. Another excitement had waited.

What a smooth journey I had from Jakarta to Ubud. Quiet, smooth, relaxing,… I was thrilled to see Ubud again. New rhythm awaits…

Photo of a carving in SIngapadu, near Ubud.

The Guilty Pleasure

I thought about participating a bazaar over and over. When the registration comes, I always thought that I should participate, but when the day comes? A friend helped me to articulate it. I’m not a bazaar type. I don’t have the ‘span of attention’ of tending a stall (in other word: ‘patience’) and she also assured me today: my stuff does not fit in bazaar. Actually I thought about it but had denied. I know my market but keep trying other markets to know more. That confirms me today.

I spent my morning with two stall-buddies. The American lives in Sanur, Bali, and the British lives in Jakarta. They’ve been good friends since long time and we become close after participating a couple of bazaars together. They are at least ten years older than me but they ‘accept’ me like I belong to their age group. They talked about hormone things and ‘second life’ openly with me. I just picked up. I learned a lot especially from the one who spends the last ten years in Bali, part of it as a single. Now I know more women with experience.

And we had more girly things after four old girlfriends from the art-group back to five-seven years ago got together. When we sat in a nice café, we thought, what a good old days we had. Everything is the same except the boys have grown up and the mommies are ready to enter different phase of life with new ‘setting’. And look at me… same person with slight alteration.

Meeting other women is definitely fun and overwhelming at the same time. The achievement, the pain, the chaotic life, the hormone, the moving,… With busy bazaar in the background, it completes my buzzing head. I didn’t need anything else than escaping my stall. It’s good that I had read my mood since morning so I laid out plan with escape in the frame. I escaped.

I went lunch with two girlfriends in PI mall and felt better after it. Having our NY Times reporter friend joined, it changed our mood to be better. We had more things to talk, not just women stuff. I was yes… overwhelmed. I sat in car quietly on the way back. Sometimes it’s just nice to be driven in a bit bad traffic. I feel ‘not good’ about leaving Adi tending my stall for the rest of the day but I goodly need the escape after what I realized today -- as a businessman and a woman.

Photo of palm-leaves bags in Tegallalang.

The Question

I awoke early and found a question in my cell phone. Old questions. Do I have big copper bowls in shop and what’s the price? I was a bit annoyed since I had prepared the bowls since three months ago but my potential buyer didn’t show up, only asked its status three times this morning. I forwarded the question to Linda. She can deal with the issue better.

I spent the day at home. I still feel strange in stomach. I prepared necklaces for bazaar tomorrow and again listened to endless questions from my car insurance agent. I observed she asked me same questions at least twice in two phone calls, so three questions needed numerous phone calls. I was busy with necklaces when I talked with her on phone, I don't mind, I just answered like machine. Whatever you asked. Only after four hours took her numerous calls I realized she had asked me too many same questions. So strange.

My staff used to do the same. Plate or bowl? Big or small? Blue or white? Actually I could do the same. The other day I asked my friend’s opinion about what color I should take for my first iPod. I wanted to stretch my color scheme so I didn’t fall into conservative silver, orange, or red. He suggested green, still I asked for other alternatives. Ha ha.. Basically, people like reconfirmation. Confirmation, especially the inexplicit one, is not enough.

I planned to attend an evening talk tonight. I feel like staying at home but also wanting to be with good friends. I better save the questions for myself.

Photo of simple menu of a material shop in Kemang to prevent from too much questions.

The Limit

I’m not good in setting up limit, of anything. Within self, in relationships, and in organization. I am lenient. I treat anybody like adult with maturity and understanding of what supposed to act. I don’t like telling people around what they should do. They know.. They should know..

But it seems I’m not always right. I can expect myself to be discipline because at least I know “my” limit. So I don’t have issue with myself although I don’t come easy either. In relationships? As adult, we know how we should treat our friends. Don’t just take, but also give. Also, don’t just give, and forget to ask. A friend told us about her pain in always supplying but nothing in return when she needs. Ah.. I experienced the same with a good friend last month. Suddenly I realized what I asked of him had gone in deep well while he got what he wanted of me easily. Well, after some times, we all learned. To understand, to set up limit.

Today I had to face setting up a limit in organization. My simple organization in the house. My senior staff is a good squeezer – of the juniors and myself, her boss. She is tough. Nice words are not enough. Harsh words are unnecessary. Been eight years working for me, I observe she doesn’t change. Even worse I must say. She appears unhappy (even after a beautiful 2 years old girl) and gives people around her hard time.

I thought about what I need to say overnight. So hard. I had to set up a limit. She’s taking too much of my leniency that had led me to be unfair to other. I had supported her family too much. I knew it long time but again, I had expected her to stop at a point and understand. Of course nothing like it. If the limit is out to see, you can go on…

So I bit her today. That’s what people like to comment about me. I’m just barking, I don’t bite. She was shocked when I told her one, two, three points. She was upset, I could see it in her expression. I had nothing to lose. I just needed to tell her to stop squeezing us and act like an adult. I reminded her to be a kind person when she said she doesn’t consider her in-laws (her juniors in my house) relatives anymore. How could she feel that while I still consider her my relatives?

It gave me a pain that I had to do that. I don’t like to do it but apparently my treatment misleads. People can easily forget to behave. Grr.. And I’m ready to see her emotional response. She called me in the afternoon. I thought… hm.. now what is your decision? Nothing. She just informed me about an important phone call. So nice? I learned again. I don’t have to feel uneasy about setting up limit. If I do right thing, people will react positively. And I will be fair to anybody else. I have to remember this for the future that nothing is wrong about setting up limit. Of anything.

Photo of a shop sign in Tegallalang.

The Timing

A few nights ago I got an idea to buy an iPod. It’s not me. I like listening to music but not through earphones. Simple reason. I don’t want to disconnect with surroundings. During long flight is fine but generally I like to be out of cubicle. So the time has come that I want to have an iPod. I choose the small Shuffle to start with.

I walked in PI mall yesterday to start my hunting. I had two hours before my haircut appointment. I checked three bookshops for the same reason. Looking for a book that has been waiting for me to buy. This time I bought Freakonomics by Levitt and Dubner. Same story. I had browsed the book long time. Some friends had recommended too but it didn’t hit me till yesterday. When I saw.. hm this book is fun. And true, I enjoy the book so much. Mathematic of life always interests me :-)

And this morning I experienced something I hadn’t had for years, more than 25 years. I got diarrhea and… more. I felt the gas before slept last night but I thought it’s just another too much eating (although I ate very little as usual). I just hadn’t had a clue why this happened to me. It seems I have to be careful with raw salad I like. I have to choose the restaurant well. Well, I don’t blame. I need to observe, that’s all.

I spent the day boneless. Hardly had anything because food made my stomach feeling cramp. Watching TV is a challenge because of those food scenes. I could not stand looking at food and people eating with gusto. It’s better to watch Fear Factor with people eating maggots because with no gusto :-)

I shall be okay passing this day. I’ve rested almost all day and nothing could bring my appetite back. Diarrhea had stopped after dawn. This is not an easy time for me. Eating is always my problem so once I plunge in the well… I need a big push to get out.

Photo of a food street vendor in Yangon.

The Tube

Pak Ana, my Ubud driver, once asked me I don’t see TV in the house. I laughed and told him that I hardly watch TV so couldn’t care less when Ubud house doesn’t come with any entertainment gadget but green view – an entertainment without gadget. I am well entertained in the house without TV.

Yesterday I told my good friend about not watching TV at all when in Ubud. She told me that watching TV is not her cup of tea either but she could not help it as she has a set in bedroom. She flicks through channels when wakes up: BBC lulls her into half asleep, news helps her to overcome her fear of earthquake or exploding bombs somewhere. She feels secure if she knows what’s happening in the world. And between news, talk shows can be interesting too even Koffie with Karan that shows Bollywood stars. She becomes addicted to TV.

I’m not naïve. I spend most of my day during weekends at home. With TV on but playing music from CD player/radio most of the time. Nevertheless, I know what I like to watch, what channel and what time. That’s when I start to be a couch potato on and off while doing something else like finishing up my museum project (but in couch in front of TV).

How can I resist not watching? CNN’s Talk Asia is my favorite since long. It’s on air as early as 6:30 on weekend. I like to listen to Asian personalities who share their vision, dreams, philosophy, business, and ideas of course. It’s close to home, it’s more real for Asian like me. Today I watched Tony Fernandes, founder of AirAsia, the biggest budget airline in Asia. I like to see young person with such spirit, doing big thing based on simple ideas, that makes him really big. When asked about his red-cap signature he wears all the time, he answered We have to be creative because we don’t have money. That’s one way to fix AirAsia in people’s mind. I could feel the impact when I see guys with red caps and red polo shirts busy around in airport. AirAsia.

That takes half an hour. Then back to work with Jalan Sutra on. Jalan Sutra is a famous show reviewing eating-places in Indonesia hosted by Bondan Winarno, a writer and journalist. He travels to taste food in, especially, small and hard-to-find place that has special cuisine. He eats with gusto while explaining what’s on the table and how it tastes. Sometimes he has celebrity guest to accompany. The show is well-known among food aficionados. Some of my friends are glued on TV when the show on, they really stop their activity. For me, with my less appetite, this is another way to understand how people can really enjoy food. But this morning I feel the show is a bit improper. It’s Ramadhan. Isn’t it nice to also show respect through TV programs, like eating-places (big and small) that install curtain on their glass windows, or street vendors who take holiday during Ramadhan? Well, I’m not affected. I just wonder about the consistent consensus about the issue.

And before I know it, Larry King Live had swallowed my attention. I could not believe I followed the new O.J. Simpson case and Brown vs. Goldman over O.J.’s book, and Ryan Seacrest with his high spirit as young and successful. And who can resist not watching Anderson Cooper from Iraq an hour later? And while watching his show, the next show World’s Untold Stories had started to remind the audience. I admire Cambodia. I don’t want to miss.

On Sunday, noon time is fun. Three CSIs run back to back: NY, Las Vegas, Miami. If I miss, I could catch the rerun in evening prime time. That can be on and on till weekend afternoon with Jay Leno and Suze Orman. A bit slapstick but still fun to watch. It has new insights some times. And wait till dark comes, Oprah Prime Time has waited in two different stations, two different episode, during weekend. What about Fear Factor? It’s yew but fun.

Well, I must say. I don’t need but I create the need. That applies to all things in life :-) If I find it fun, why not?

Photo of blue plastic drums in Sunda Kelapa, Jakarta.

The Organizer

It was still 9:45 when I sat in the car with a good friend. She was not ‘on the ground’ this morning. She was hectic. She was all sweaty because of hormone changes. She was worried. Simply, she could not talk with me. I behaved. Actually, I was in my own world too. I had two ‘negotiations’ with two friends going on through text messages.

There are times when everything goes wrong. Today is the one for my friend. She picked up a not-yet-open Starbucks for us to meet. We had to call up the other five girls to change venue. As we were ready to leave, the driver had already gone to fill up tank. My friend was still very much occupied with many issues she had since got up. Her boy could not find place to stay overnight in London. Husband in Papua New Guinea needed something. Checking her friend for watching concert tonight. I stayed in the background. I too was in the cloud but apparently was much better.

What a woman life! So many facets. Run many things and want to be with friends at the same time. Often we end up having body and mind separated. In such mood and situation, we still moved on to be together physically. Seven of us, half of us were constantly on phone. One is worried about when to call packer because no date has been set by husband's office (after 'failed' to pack two months ago). One anticipates her six weeks in Australia to look after two boys on holiday and soon attend a graduation. One has biz appointment as she helps out husband to run a strawberry farm. What about me? A friend wanted to see me in Frangipani lunch time and a friend had asked me to visit a handicraft fair. I didn't dare to commit to both.

Today’s highlights are a friend who leaves Indonesia for good on Sunday and a friend whose husband just got kidnapped for 15 days in Nigeria. Both had stories that drained energy. Things that don’t happen every day. Again, I witnessed women with life challenges. Organizing life of her and loved ones.

Shopping and having coffee with girl friends are definitely a sweet escape for us. We value our togetherness highly especially after realizing that some moments only happen once in life time. I’m glad I was really careful not to squeeze too many things to happen today, although naturally, I like to trap myself into organizing many in a day.

Photo women in Ubud by Rad.

V a c a n t

I slept early last night. Surprisingly early that a friend gave me idea to meditate instead of sleeping. It was 22:30. Well, I just turned off last night. Physically awake, but emotionally had slept. I wasn’t even able to read. The day had just squeezed me to dry. I had no idea.

It was a nice sleep though. It's so cold in the morning that I used my bedcover for extra blanket but didn’t help still. Actually kid’s crying had awoken me. I noticed since the past few days the builder crews who is building a spa behind my house are from Java and they have wives coming, and kids. I don’t know how many are they, but I heard at least two women and two kids. I care about where the kids sleeping, it’s really cold in the morning. And there’s one guy who sneezed a lot, every morning. Their life becomes part of my life now. I was in shower when I heard Javanese traditional song in Bali for the first time. Wow… different atmosphere in different setting! I’m lost.

My trip to Jakarta was calm and on time. I arrived in the right time, my booking still in the system, no delay. It’s just nice and sound. And a staff in the lounge had impressed me. He greeted everybody in the lounge asking what flight and what (s)he wants to drink/nibble. He also came to me asking his standard questions. I was writing an email but didn’t want to let him down so I asked for tea (that he introduced me a new way to turn a not-nice teabag into a drinkable tea – add very sour lemon). And he came again to remind me time to board. Been on-off the lounge often, I never saw him before. I like the way he does business. I remember Robin Sharma, in his The Greatness Guide, about the staff who are the CEO of her/his functional area. Here I quote:

"Take personal responsibility for the success of your business. Show up like an entrepreneur: Grow sales. Cut costs. Get good stuff done. You will shine in your career. And the CEO will love you."

So this gentleman staff in the lounge has inspired me to always do the best in serving.

This evening I have an idea to revamp my daily writing for this blog which I don’t know yet the form would be.

Photo of a sign in my neighbor villa.

Tiny Conclusion

I just finished twenty-eight necklaces. Of those, fifteen were done yesterday: morning, afternoon, to midnight. I had made two mistakes before decided to stop. This morning I had quick breakfast and yoga before on again making necklace. I like to strike while the iron still hot.

I’m happy to see the material almost disappears. This is new design, tiny. I like to offer variety to know what people like. Twenty-two is considered small number. Twenty-two? Yes, two for gifts, four are mine :-) And I also had taken pictures for e-flyer. Somehow I know, these are things I won’t do in Jakarta. Atmosphere is different. Spirit changes.

Today I enjoy my warm connection with many good friends. In Ubud, I hardly feel living far away from friends and of course civilized world. I am accessible although I live in a small jungle. Internet and cell phone are great invention.

Ramadhan starts tomorrow. Like New Year, this is time to remember loved ones. We exchange greetings of peaceful Ramadhan through e-card or text message. And if I’m lucky, some will return my gesture. And the one who returns must be the closest to heart. Like junk email, it can surprise me how loved ones are ready to reconnect, to reach out, by replying. As they are rare, I appreciate them very much.

So the past few days I reconnect with friends who are close to heart through Ramadhan greetings and junk emails. KL, Bangkok, Alabama,… And my Jakarta close friends had started to call too. It was hilarious talking to Nienke this morning. We don’t remember how long we didn’t see each other. Very long. Text messages are also pouring in. I guess one week is almost too long for them. It’s so good to know they are looking forward to seeing me on Friday. And they also had booked my days next week. Hm.

I conclude my week stay this time… at home. Like contemplation week. The first three days is for recovering from many illnesses, and the rest is combination of walking meditation, friends, and creating. Not so active but I feel good and ready to invent new things in my life.

Photo of Blade, one of my creation.

Get With It

I started my day with reading Sting's album story. I had admired Sting since long time, over 25 years. The album I'm listening recently, Songs from The Labyrinth, is rather ‘strange’. It’s recent, 2006, but none I heard in publicity. Very private. Recorded by German recordings that usually records classical music, not pop, let alone progressive rock.

I had listened to this album since I live in Ubud. Sting’s unschooled tenor sounds clear with lute (renaissance-era guitar) in the background. I read the story with wonder. This album is ultra special. Sting discovers the music of 15th century Elizabethan songwriter, John Downland. The song and lyric are extraordinary. Like I listen to poetry reading with rhythm. I like the sound of the lute, but Sting’s voice makes it special. The whole project is aah.. so hard to say. Amazing! It took Sting 20 years to realize the project. Hm.

So I don’t feel that bad when I just started making necklace this morning :-) I had had all materials yesterday but felt like I had nothing in mind. And this morning, necklace came first before anything else, even before first drink. I was excited to make one, new creation – tiny, opposite to the big style I made few months ago. I was very much into it that I missed yoga and really wanted to stay home.

I stopped after coffee to rearrange my crockery. I bought some new plates and bowls yesterday from outlet. Very nice. Colorful. I was washing all old and new when Ngurah came. I had asked him to buy fresh-cut flowers. I spent some 30 minutes giving him lecture about being economical and how to arrange flower with “less is more” spirit. It’s not easy for him to accept the concept. For him, more must be grande. For me, this is lesson. I used to have the vases ready, only today I realized how he treated fresh-cut flowers. My fault. I had taken it for granted. Today we both learned.

When I left house at noon, I had finished five necklaces. I finished my trial batch. I asked Ana to drop me off the silver shop. I bought a lot more silver. I have lots of idea in head that ready to burst anytime soon. Glad I still have all day tomorrow. It comes in the right moment, without waiting 20 years :-)

My afternoon with Benny and Denny was nice. We had crispy duck for lunch. I took them to shops I know they like. We also went to Tegallalang, and finally visited Pallava and Pade, my dear neighbor. Unfortunately they only had limited time in Ubud. Next time.

Now I’m back into my cocoon. I’m all excited!

Photo of beaded head-bumper to carry heavy offering in Bali.

What’s the result?

What a nice morning. It was still dark when I felt light earth quake. Now I’m expert, my ears recognize when windows make noise. It’s in Situbondo this time. Yaa.. I awoke when it’s still dark. The past two days, Ubud is really cold in the morning. I kept my PJ till 8:00 haha..

I’m observing Ubud weather since I ‘moved’ here three months ago. When I came in May, it was very humid but mildly hot. The humidity is quite disturbing because it makes my book slanted and other stuffs damp. Towel is hardly dry. Not nice. Only later in July – August that Ubud is cold and dry. And now, it’s combination of both. No rain, dry not damp, and cold / stuffy alternately. Like today, it’s cool in the morning when I prepared bed for my friend-guests and hot in the afternoon.

I enjoyed my morning putting pillows in sun in terrace. It seems I really like housekeeping. I like to feel soft sheets and really care about house linen quality. Glad I have Mba Kris who supplies me with any customized linen for house in reasonable price. She has made for me a lot of mattresses, sheets, laundry bags, clothes-bags,… The orders are still pouring in for many other household articles. Now I know, I can run a villa :-)

A friend wishes me a bright day with results I can be happy with. It made me thinking. Actually this is time when I don’t know what to create. I need something new but still don’t have new ideas to materialize. It’s not a nice time but I remember what I read yesterday to take such time easy. There are times when we need to stop before bursting new creations.

Okay. I called Ana to come and off we went at 10:45. I took eco-package for my internet, bought fancy crockery I need and else, rattan mat for under stairs so my guests can store their baggage, went to ATM, and bought stones and necklace tools - although I’m still not sure if I will make but I feel secure to have the materials and tools around :-)

After another lunch in the same warung, I decided to spend time at home. It was hot outside. It’s soo hot. I could not even think what to do in Pallava. That’s my excuse yes.. At home, I’m quite productive though. That’s more important…

Photo of a sign in Warung Lada.

Days of Mindfulness

I had nice morning doing the usual. Yoga in sun, replied emails, studied wireless connection in Ubud further to find the most economical cost, and… more cleaning. I found out living in Ubud is not as clean as I thought, similar to living in Jakarta and Malang. In Jakarta we deal with pollution with black oily dust. In Malang, we have volcanic mountains that often burst ash. In Ubud, we have thatched roof and all kinds of animals: spider, ant, gecko, little lizard (tjitjak), rats perhaps,.. It’s so hard to keep inside house clean at all time.

I wiped clean my wooden stairs this morning. It looked clean but I know it could be more. Not that I’m freak, well I am freak, but I could see it’s dull. I’m happy with the result, like my jalousie, the wood shines now. I don’t know how long it will last. I remember my Bali staffs liked to tell me when I asked them to clean the shop often It won’t be long..., Ibu. Ya ya.. but something has to be done :-)

And just now I got an idea to clean my fridge. I was disturbed since I saw it for the first time. I never saw such dirty fridge before. Many black spots in the interior, and the rubber… yeeew! Three months ago, I managed to clean the shelves, interior, and exterior walls but not the insulation rubber and interior door. I don’t know why the rubber was not wipeable.

I took my milk cartoon out when I spotted the yew again this morning. I had an idea. I tooth-brushed it with strong cleaning agent from Amway I have for metal. I tried and it worked perfectly. The black spots melted and became like black paste. It’s yew but I continued doing happily. I did it thoroughly not to miss a spot. Minutes later I closed the fridge door satisfied. I hope it stays clean loooong time. I smiled looking at the brand again. Don’t tell me because of the brand. It’s Indonesian male name – Tanto.

I’m going to create something now. I also have ideas for necklace but the bad news is I forgot bringing my tools. I might have to go downtown to buy tools for emergency. It’s 10:20 now. Nice mild sun outside.

Yesterday I read the excerpt of a book titled The Miracle of Mindfulness by Thich Nhat Hanh about ways to be mindful. I’m happy to know that I had been in the right track. He mentioned about:

- ‘breathing’: I had watched my breathing through yoga, at least.

- ‘self-watching’: When I was kid, Mama liked to ask why I cried. I feel like I have to have reason to cry. Now I see why. She had taught me to observe my sadness. And it’s true, through observation, my sadness subsides because I know what it is.

- ‘the half-smile’: I like adopting a half-smile since waking up. First, I half-smile for waking up nicely. Then, I half-smile for a morning with hope to have a nice day. And the rest of the day, a half-smile becomes my accessory. Even now I’m able to have full-smile from heart when check-in counter says Your name is not in our system, Mba like when I flew here. I smiled. I asked him What’s your plan? Of course, I got a seat. Half-smile enables me not to be lost in my emotions. There’s always ways anyway.

- ‘a day of mindfulness’: Nhat Hanh encourages us to devote a whole day in the week to the practice of mindfulness. Take plenty of time to clean the house (which I’d done often) or have a bath (sure!), not rushing anything. Do everything slowly and deliberately (I only adopt this recently, I need to practice more because I have quick movement nature, especially in Jakarta).

- ‘mindful meditations’: Thing that hasn’t become my ritual is meditation. Like be quiet for a moment (20-30 minutes?). I still have issue in quieting mind but I could enjoy doing things with mindfulness. Let me see if I can also develop this :-)

I told my friend last night that I’m afraid I’d been addicted to being mindfulness because then I start to be anti-social. He sees it from different point of view. Addicted to mindfulness gives power and awareness. That’s very true and that makes me happy :-)

So how’s my day today? With mindfulness, I manage to do a bit of everything like I wanted yesterday. I did some cleaning of course, I gave touch to two tiny oil paintings I bought in Pasar Ubud last month, I designed some necklaces to be developed in the next days, I walked downtown slowly, I stopped by some places to chatting with nice persons I know, I had nasi in a nice stylish warung after days of not, I took time while walking to study what I can do in Ubud, I studied the coming Ubud Festival program,… Not bad for a day.

Tomorrow is my time to be social. I have plan to meet up with some close friends.

Photo of red Buddha in Ubud House.

Green Day

I learned about some things today:

1. I’m not good in using my time to do many activities in a day.

My excuse is because I have option not to do, so nothing forces me to do this and that. All are relied on my time management skill. Examples? I have work from Museum to do, I plan to make necklace, I like to cleaning house, I want to go downtown, I need to check Pallava, I have many books to read,… I end up doing one thing all day. These two days I’m engaged in the Museum homework that I just finished. I’m thinking why can’t I divide my time in a day so I can do a bit of every activity?

2. Some great inventions have great weakness.

I only realized today after three months in-out of house that the jalousie on bathroom and kitchen doors are awfully dusty. I could not believe I had missed that. Obviously, I’d taken the house for granted. So I spent quite lengthy time to work on each slat to clean. I thought what an invention? Jalousie allows light and air flow but at the same time it is also the biggest dust trap. Who invents this system?

I’m satisfied with my work though. It adds to my exercise for today. I worked out my arm muscles.

3. Cough refrains me from many “good” foods.

Cough is not in my habit list so like these days I have to learn about and listen more to my body needs. I realized that I don’t have long list of soothing food actually. Even cartoon juice is stuck in throat. Cheese? Yes, the good salty one. As Indonesian, so hard to be away from fried food. So nothing left for me to eat especially in remote house like Ubud House. I have to make a trip downtown to get proper food.

4. I love green.

As I spent hours sitting in my desk, my only view is dense vegetation in neighbor’s land. I am lucky but then I know that I really love green for the color and sound. Yes, it sounds very soothing. Meanwhile, a friend is lucky to have a chance to lying on grass by Yarra river and looking upward at trees.

5. I have to crawl avoiding men’s stare in my own territory.

The land behind Ubud House is under construction since a few weeks ago. Since then I cannot pass my huge glass windows freely as they can see me in my shorts. I had stopped opening the window too, as I need the glass to reflect to protect my image from being seen. I don’t want to attract attention. But today I found out, in some angles, they can still see me. I could see their eyes watching. That’s when I need to crawl in my own territory. Ugh.

One more, why are people interested in other people’s life?

6. It’s better to keep door-key off the hole.

I never really thought about it but today I found out I need to do so. I asked Ngurah to just enter house to pick up laundry because going downstairs bothers me but he could not enter. For emergency, same system can be useful. But, crime can also benefit from the system. So?

7. Ubud House's dog proves to be useful.

She made noise when Ngurah and food deliveryman came. I didn’t notice until I really saw her barking near them. Hm.. Now you care for me too, dear dog. I like to touch her nose in the morning.

8. My bed gets perfect sunlight in the morning and before sunset.

I enjoyed doing yoga by my bed this morning for the first time. I saw the sunlight was shining brightly and long. So I made use of it. And now I see the sun shines from the opposite direction: different color, different intensity, same nice. Perfect. I love sun as well.

The list can grow long if I don’t stop now. I stay home today.

Photo of green I saw from my desk this morning.

No Tide

Friday, September 7

I got up with the feeling like I had been through a stormy night. Tired but glad to find the tide had calmed. Actually I learned about my body before slept. I took lozenge before slept that I thought it would help me through the night silently. I was wrong. I got attacked very badly (same case in airplane when I just had lozenge). I got up shaky and had a lot of water to dissolve. It took me very long to asleep.

A good friend showed concern. He had asked me to see doctor since day two. Although cough can be serious but I want to take easy, listening to my body signal more to cure. I take extra vitamins every day but I must admit that I also cheated. I still had krupuk puli from Malang as Ija fried a jar for me. Homemade is okay, the other day in BA Museum I took a bit of fried tempe, from street vendor, served by the host. I could not help, all were fried and we were hungry. I coughed a lot on the way home.

And more, I had frozen green tea frappe in Starbuck while waiting for Yungkie last Wednesday that I changed to hot green tea but was a bit too late. The sweet frappe had stuck in my throat. And more of course I still consumed chilli and very salty dish (again, blame it on Ija). Ya, I had treated my body carelessly. I deserve punishment.

I take my punishment today. I feel much better when woke up so I want to keep it as long as possible. I won’t take lozenge and will only take friendly food. I promise. I don’t want coughing and… going to doctor. I have to prove myself that I can cure my cough with discipline.

I also had promised myself to exercise more while in Ubud. I gained 1 kg the past few weeks. I don’t mind 1 kg if muscle but I also feel extra in waist. I don’t like that. I had started this morning. I had my yogalates book open while I tried many new positions. I want to develop my yoga and take it more seriously to tone up my body. No more lazy girl.

I moved a lot in the morning, tidied up house. Two friends are coming but don’t know when. I prepared the house more for myself actually. It’s just nice to be in a tidy and clean house although it requires some physical work when in Ubud because dusty here.

It’s still 11:38 but I feel like I had spent more than half day. Good sign!

Mbo Yan came on time to massage me. It’s just nice to be off for an hour. This house is perfect for spa, no sound, so quiet. I didn’t doze off but closed eyes so could enjoy the silentness. Nice break before exercise.

Exercise? Yes, I had planned to go downtown walking. I wore my comfy gear and started walking from home at 17:00. I stopped by the usual shop to say hi. I didn’t take my book this time, I had no escape. So I did nothing while waiting for my Thai salad. I smiled. I’m not used to quiet mind, sitting idly watching world goes by. So nice.

I bought some silver beads before continued walking to Jazz Café. Pura Dalem by the cafe was busy after Ngaben (cremation) of King’s relatives. It’s a really big ceremony. I could see the leftovers. Amazing. I stopped for a while.

The café was ready for the event, a CD launching. Erick is a young Chinese plays jazz in piano. I sat by the bar so could chat with Gde – a staff I knew long time. He liked to ask if any vacancy in my biz for him, for his ‘daylight’ (because he works in the evening). Later I told him that I’m more interested in what he does as bar-tender so I might be the one who apply for job in his place.

Erick’s piano is nice but later I realized that he only plays other composers’ music. Hm. The jam session was nice. There’s a girl, 15, very talented playing piano like Erick. Well, she is one of his students. Very nice. With music on, I could lose in time. It’s 22:30 when the music stopped. 3.5 hours sitting in stool? Good for my spine. Nice challenge to sit straight. And to face nice and not-nice men around :-)

I kept my promise to exercise. I walked home. It was a long walk. It took me 30 minutes brisk walking. I didn’t plan but it happened I didn’t feel click with any taxi-man so better stretch myself further before ended my day. I made it. So nice to experience. Now I know that any destination in Ubud is walkable.

Photo of my latest Buddha statue I bought in Tegallalang last month.

My Way Forward

11:00 flight is not good for me. Odd time. I missed lunch because I flew budget airline that only serves a glass of water. It saved me though. I was coughing so badly because the cabin ran dry after a while and I was not prepared. I was so embarrassed. My tears ran down.

I remembered the last time I cough like this was in 2001. I was in Beijing when 9/11 happened. I caught flu when left Jakarta and after the flu I cough. It was funny I was ‘attacked’ when we visited a Chinese hospital as part of the tour. The medicine man (or was he a doctor?) gave me a powerful tablet that stopped my cough immediately. I’m still thinking about that tablet. How could I get that? I don’t even know the name, all in Chinese character :-)

So I met my post-grad girl friend in airport this morning. We were in the same flight. I spent time with her and her colleagues waiting for our 30-minute delayed flight. She works in an Indonesian ‘international’ high school and they are going to have a conference in Bali. We didn’t see each other seven years but still she recognized me, so did I to her. She has three boys now. She wondered how I could ‘neglect’ my diploma. I told her that at least I have options now. What can I say?

The first half an hour in Ubud House is always the most exciting time for me. I’m excited to see the house and explore to be in touch with all rooms again. Unrolled kilim, wiped studio desk, then tried the wireless connection. It took a while before I knew the trick with my new laptop. I’m glad because it seems this laptop has much better receiving. Nice!

Uh I’m so glad to be back home although I missed the Heritage big event, the annual welcome meeting, this morning. Some activities have less importance now. And funny that the art group still counts me as “the last man standing” in Jakarta and offered me to be the leader. I could agree only when I can do in tandem with two other on-off girls, Nienke and Peng. We can cover each other during the year. And I will miss more lunches next week. Peng sounded so desperate when she tried to arrange another lunch for the art group next week. Well Peng, we all have new rhythm now :-)

Now I look forward to moving forward in Ubud. I hope new things come on my way this visit. I don’t have plan.

Photo of shrubs in labyrinth garden in Ubud Botanic Garden taken in May.

Enjoy the Wavelength

Wednesday, September 5

Rita called me yesterday. She asked me to join her lunch with our mutual girl friend. I laughed. Rita, she would have texted me if she wants me to join. Rita thinks I’m sensitive about it. For me, it’s simple logic because this girl friend used to check me. After last two lunches that I could not join because I was in Ubud, she might have decided to stop checking me, which is very understandable for me. Not for Rita, she doesn’t believe that. I smiled listening to her argument.

I realized this morning that our relationship with anybody changes by time. Not that we lose interest, but wavelength just changes. Our attention and interest change because we grow and we don’t necessarily grow together. For me, it’s natural if we unintentionally ‘drop’ particular attention to pay more to other things.

I also noticed my online chat with some friends recently. Most of the time I share same enthusiasm about something with my friends in the other end. Only a bit later I realized, haa.. the topic hung in the air. My friends who are busy in office of course cannot respond the same way. Again, I understand because I can also do the same. Less intense because I have something else in mind. Weather check is the thing I should do before start engaging in an intense connection. Normal procedure that is forgotten often :-)

Nice insight I got in the morning. I started working on BA time-line in the morning after relocating a few stuffs in the house to create more space. Sitting idly and blankly is important sometimes so then we have space for an idea. Again, I’m satisfied.

It’s 8:46 now. I have decided not to join Rita to lunch. I better stay home and do my things before spending evening with my dear old girl friend, Yungkie.

I had a nice day and evening. BA time-line is so interesting. I found myself enjoy reading BA’s life story although I felt a bit tired of writing Met So-so and got married and two rows later I wrote BA divorced So-so, and less than two years another girl showed, and again. When I stopped writing, it’s already five. It’s stop now because I know this Thai girl was the last. Interesting life of a great painter.

I met up with Yungkie in PI mall. I left before 3-in-1 traffic regulation so could avoid bad traffic after office. What a nice arrangement. I had my computer with me while waiting for her so life continued.

We watched a collaboration dance performance of famous Indonesian group from Sumatra and Dutch group with international dancers. I saw the advertisement by chance a few weeks ago, if not, I would not have known such show exists. I made an effort to watch because the show plays in Indonesia two weeks in three cities and two months in Holland and other European countries. It must be special.

We got in the old Dutch theatre in Chinatown half an hour before the show. We were surprised to find empty parking lot. We had seen many shows with the parking lot full of cars, very full. We looked at each other. The show was 20-minute late. I had time to rough head count the audience while the light still on. Barely 30 of 450 seats. So sad. Such a world class show and empty seats? Where do they go wrong? Off stage team, Yungkie told me.

It was a good show. Very modern in black and white costume and backdrop. Seven dancers. I enjoyed the body movement, flexible like water ripples. I wonder if I can do the same if I practice. They looked definitely healthy. Later I told Yungkie that I really liked the bodies, they have normal bodies, with fat and shape. Yungkie’s dancers are bony mostly, flat and little muscle shows. Not natural.

The movement is innovative and the background music is another artwork. It’s a real artwork, not just clips of any existing music. They created the noise with Sumatra touch. Very very nice. The movement, lighting, and music make an abstract artwork. Like appreciating an abstract painting, a mix of many and no guidance, we are free to interpret. Poetic. The first half an hour I realized I sat like watching suspense movie, tense. I was very much into the movement that I needed to be aware to sit more relaxedly. Entertaining.

The show lasted about an hour. Just the right time. Yungkie and I closed the evening with tea. We talked endlessly since we met. I coughed a lot because my throat ran dry of too much talking. But who can stop me? We were in the same wavelength. Enjoy while still last :-)

Photo of the stage in the end of the show.