Time After Time

Time went slow here. Strange. Some times I felt like I’d done a lot but time seemed to stop. It’s strange because I didn’t sit around and did nothing. I did my ritual of email, writing, and reading; also hung around with my little friends. It’s good though, I could do many things.

Halloween is also observed in Manila. Shop staffs were wearing costumes while doing their job. I enjoyed Halloween decorations and costumes sold in kids’ shop. It reminds me that it’s still October although funny when I walked in malls I felt like it’s December already because of the Christmas carols played. Maybe only in Manila. Any day before December could be anything. Halloween or Christmas or Valoween (for those who celebrated Valentine's Day on Halloween night).

I started doing a jigsaw puzzle since yesterday. A 1000-piece puzzle that the finished work is only 29x32 cm. Yes, tiny little pieces. I enjoyed the challenge because each piece represents very small scale of the picture. I work on Van Gogh's Sunflowers with lots of same yellow-brown sunflowers. I’m not bad although I hadn’t done it about 16 years now. I still have photographic memory to locate each piece in the right position. It reminds me of playing mahjong. Flip and place.

I’m looking forward to having a quiet weekend here. I started to have mild sore throat this morning. Many Jakartans and Filipinos had flu when I made the trip a few days ago. I thought I could survive but it seems I have to be watchful now.

Picture of Dolo’s sculpture called Sia-sia.

Time Bandits

It’s end of October. Christmas has started in Manila. Shops have built Christmas trees and some have busily decorated the trees. I lost track of time. I believe I still have time before end of year but wow… it has come nearer. Review and resolution are waiting to compose.

I kind of lost too the past few days. My trip to Jakarta ended up with full of things-to-do, my decision. I spent Sunday having 6-hour lunch with four girlfriends. It’s a birthday lunch. Funny that my friend in Denpasar and I happened to be in Jakarta at the same time so it’s was really fun to get together with our mutual friends in Jakarta.

I made a memory tour around Frangipani and the area. It’s kind of sad to see the place looked shabby now. The two renters might not look after the area well, not just that, they also changed the paints with depressing colors. I felt sorry for the frequent passerby, they must have missed a view in the area.

My sleep rhythm was still erratic although I had spent a few nights in Jakarta house so on Monday morning I felt quite drained. I felt sleepy all day. It’s good though, I made another big progress while combating sleepiness. I tidied up batik closet to create more space. I still panted when met my good friend in the afternoon. Another nice light lunch. My friend was not well over weekend but had pushed herself to meet me before I left since she is leaving for her annual two-month trip back home next week.

And yesterday, still lack of sleep because of night flight, I stayed up all day because of my little friends. They kept me in front of television to watch their favorite movie (two CDs!). They didn’t let me multi-tasking either. I watched but my brain fell asleep. I was so sleepy after days of experiencing sleeping disorder. And later, I followed them and a friend to cinema to watch the sequel for another two hours. Sure it was fun. It’s a new experience for me.

I could not function well in the evening. How I would like to continue making necklace with my little friend but I was completely drained. Glad I had a very good sleep last night. Finally…

Picture of an artwork by a Filipina.

All I Wanna Do

People liked to laugh at me when I said I feel jet-lagged of one hour time difference between Jakarta and Ubud. It is funny but it’s true. I felt sleepy quite early in Jakarta time, even only one hour, but it makes ‘big’ difference to me it seems.

Last night I slept very early at 9 o’clock and of course around 2 in the morning I awoke fresh and was ready to go. I tried to extend my sleep but gave up at 3. I had Chiko in my bed, we played while I read. It’s only 5 o’clock when I got inspiration to work on my 8-door closets. I scanned them quickly then asked the girls to help out with cleaning.

I worked on piles of clothes for four hours. I sorted out clothes according to the need and where to go. Actually I was inspired by Oprah’s show last night, her favorite decluttering show. Mine was not as bad as the one shown in the show, much better, but I’d learned to quickly decide what to do with each stuff.

The declutter expert is right about people try to find ‘security’ through stuffs they accumulate. When I looked at the pile “to go” I could tell that 80% of the clothes are brand new and the rest was worn at least twice only. And at least 60% of it I bought with friends and/or at sale. Impulsive buying. I often bought a style in different colors. Sounds familiar? And in the end of the day, I hadn’t had chance to wear all colors or… I simply had shifted style. What I’d liked before not necessarily stayed although 99% of my clothes are timeless. I simply change! Different rhythm, different vegetation, different interaction.

I’m happy with my achievement. It’s true that decluttering could lift something inside. I felt much lighter and happier after four hours of hard work. It’s rewarding. I feel good to have shared stuffs with others at the same time. I’m processing my next project. The feeling is addictive.

I spent all afternoon with a good girl friend from past. I decided to make a trip out of house to lighten my breath. Ya, I felt a bit heavy in the morning that I didn’t know why like usual. We went to see Dolo’s exhibition at Galeri Nasional. My dear friend, I admired your work. Hardly feeling disappointed with the shape, only with the material. No more bronze for bigger sculpture but fiberglass although not easy to tell the difference between both from a far. I’m glad to still have the opportunity to check out. It’s not often she had a big solo exhibition.

And the rest seven hours were spent chatting, strolling around mall, and having meal with my friend. It’s unbelievable that we could lose track of time. It’s just gone. We hadn’t met almost ten months I believe but we ‘hardly’ missed each other since we always keep each other in mind. We felt close although we were apart.

I feel sleepy and slightly hungry now. We kind of forgot that we hadn’t had dinner. Let’s enjoy feeling hungry, my friend texted me.

Picture of Dolo’s sculpture I took today at the exhibition.

Prick Up Your Ears

I’m the only Auntie Agony around now. My friend told me the other day referring to the moments of our mutual friends shared their agony with her. Actually, before I moved, I was more the Auntie Agony to almost all my friends including her. Actually, they don’t need my ears to listen to their agony only but also to listen to all their life issues including troubled kids, demanding husbands, to 'beloved' drivers. Yes, I am a good listener.

Later I realized that to be a good listener is not easy. To give accurate response is an art. To not respond is not they need from a listener. And when to respond is another art. It seems I’m not bad in this area. Or, I have become better as a listener that I believe I was not in the past. I had ego to ‘make things right’ right away. Like intuitively I just shared my whatever I believed was a good advice. They don’t need that, if so, they would ask. That’s what I learned later.

Like in all, I learned to become good at something from my own experience. I refrain myself from pointing out one’s feeling especially when one is being negative. I let one shares it all then wait what she/he expects from me. I believe people could be negative when facing a situation but that doesn’t mean she/he is always being negative. I’m careful about that. Not to let them ‘down’. Or, I might be too sensitive when sense a response. I have achieved good-listener title so far, I might have done the right thing.

The other day Mbok Yan sought for my advice what if she leaves her jobless-ever husband. She is tired of working as bread winner and get no appreciation. It’s the latter that matters her. This is not the first tough question I had this year. I just asked her in response: what the kids’ feeling about the idea and what hers after knowing the kids’ feeling. I could see she processed the questions again inside head. Some friends expect me to decide for them or kick their idea. People need an instant decision that comes out of other kitchen, not theirs.

My tips? A piece of advice is not they need. They know what they should do, they just need ears to listen. To ease their bogged mind. Hey, a good listener is coming to town.

Picture of a mock party logo a friend shared.

A Different Loyalty

When I felt bored, I liked to check out your blog to see different world with different rhythm, different vegetation, different interaction. A good friend emailed me some time ago. It touched me. She lives in a sterile compound in South Africa. She told me once that her life is pretty much predictable: work, home, and entertainment in city.

I thought about her when I was sitting in taxi in cloudy drizzling Jakarta from airport this noon. I didn’t see green; I saw tree of buildings, sea of cars, penjor of banners. I spotted billboard of a new local cell phone operator that must have nice offers to compete the existing big players. And those huge billboards introducing new cars. It made me busy 'window shopping' for a new car but many offered shiny sedan I don’t need in Ubud. And credit card advertisements? City people need various credit cards for different purposes; to use in Singapore, to pay installment, for young card holder, for buying luxury goods. Now I remember that I also have a credit card that I rarely used the past months (only useful to get permission to use nice lounge in all airports). Different rhythm, different vegetation, different interaction.

I actually had thought about my friend since yesterday. I was driving on bumpy road in my friend’s neighborhood when I picked her up to go to north Ubud. It’s a narrow road when there’s a car passes from opposite direction, one has to go half hanging in ditch – literally. We were ‘dancing’ in the car chatting like usual when realized that we might have taken the view for granted. Actually we were in the middle of rice field, our 360 degree view is only rice field. My friend touched me Hey, I don’t miss Jakarta! Had lived in Jakarta 14 years, she really liked repeating the line.

So here I am in the midst of polluted Jakarta enjoying myself. I have work to do and errands to run tomorrow. I don’t need to rush this visit since I have ample of time to do things in my own pace.

Picture of real trees between my roof and neighbor’s.

Reality Unleashed

This morning I got up with a thought about why people enjoy reading and singing. For one, it’s a positive escape from life. And also, the message in both works (book and song) is mirror of life in some sort. People like when have something to relate to so can learn and understand life. Am I speaking about myself?

It reminds me of dangdut songs that are so popular in villages. Often the lyrics touch part of our bitter lives but are presented in happy tunes. It’s so nice to repeat the lyrics while mirroring the message. I still liked Bang SMS that tells about the true feeling of women who find out husband exchanges text message with other woman, how they want to destroy the cell phone, or thing like that. It’s vulgar but matter-of-factly for many. Forget about fine literary work. Simply touch!

I’m reading Geling Yan’s The Banquet Bug since the Festival started. It’s funny and unusual story about a Chinese man who makes a living by being a phony newsman attending banquet lunch to collect fee while enjoy exotic food served to treat publicists. I knew little about Chinese in China but had a slight idea so this book had helped me to understand better why this and that happen in China and elsewhere.

Yes, she believes he has. He feels a bit unsatisfied. Every time he tries to impress her, she is too easily impressed. If asked whether he qualifies as the banquet eating master, she would answer, of course, who else does? She gives him all the wide-eyed admiration he wants, and the lack of challenge bothers him… Every time she is confronted by a word riddle or a guessing game, she surrenders before tiring her poor little brain.

I like this particular part that helps me to understand the male character in particular and understand women in general. It made me giggling. I admire the woman writer who is able to portray male-female relationship in words – matter-of-factly. The male character, the banquet eating master, is dominant. I don’t know Chinese men but my guess the writer has described the background culture very well. The fact that men don’t always know why women act this and that to please them is so real. If men who read the book could mirror the message, it would be nice, if not, then the message is enough for women to put their feelings into words.

That’s what I like about reading. The challenge to read between the lines is nice.

Picture of frangipani trees in the afar taken from my window this morning.

Circle of Friends

Sometimes I feel funny about relationships I got hold of in my life. Good friends could start from any kind of circumstances. Ten minutes in airport lounge, sharing an umbrella in one hot morning, sitting side by side in the same venue every year… The latter was my circumstance with Janice from Sydney. She works in an office that deals with words in Sydney and was anything from tour guide, maitre d’hotel, restaurant owner…

This is our second year sharing same passion about books in the Ubud Writers and Readers Festival forum. I found her two years ago in a spot at the venue. We often sat together and had a quick lunch or coffee between sessions. Back home after the Festival, we developed friendship through emails. Not often but enough to keep our friendship intact. She almost didn’t attend this year’s but in the last minute she decided to go. So it’s good to see her again. Familiarity creates comfort.

Nothing is coincidence so I didn’t take Janice for granted. I respect her as someone who is sent to be part of my life. I didn’t sit with her much this year as I had more friends I know from Jakarta. I was dragged into different activities during the day. Anyway, I decided to sit and talk with her today. We didn’t sit long as we both had errands to run but any time we had was enough to get to know each other better – offline – after two years.

It’s Monday and life resumed. I haven’t planned my week. I have done major homework before the Festival but that doesn’t mean I have less. Like diet, I will start doing again tomorrow.

Picture of an unfinished house in the middle of rice field in Ubud.

The Last Waltz

Like in many, some things have to end once we feel familiar. The Festival ended today. Had been in and out four days; I had become familiar with my own rhythm, the Festival beat, and the people. The latter is the most interesting. Yes, I loved to see people and their fashion (that could be as sexy as flimsy nightie!). Interesting variety. Some familiar faces from past years. It’s a showcase of characters.

My friend who stayed overnight and I came a few minutes late. It was a session about writing with nature as background like in haiku. Nice panel with three speakers from different vegetation: Netherlands, Philippines, and Singapore. It’s always fun to listen to a speaker who presented herself/himself well that then she/he became ‘the star’ of the session because of her/his unique thought or experience. Today the ex corporate lawyer became a children book writer (with mission) from Singapore drew our attention. She talked about her life change from a 9-to-5 worker with lots of money to a stay home mom writing books. She shared her personal experience in funny and 'smart' way.

Today I wanted to attend some sessions but timing didn't allow. I ended up attending a bit here and there and got nothing but I had nice lunch with good friends and a writer. I didn’t miss anything in the end because of the chance to have a nice chat with the Australian writer who wrote about her cousin’s life story back in 1930s in India. Joan, the cousin, was married to a Moslem Raj in young age and had become part of history. Had debated whether I should buy more books, I bought her book on my way out. I’m happy that I had decided to buy two ‘important’ books of today: one by a charismatic Mexican writer and of course the Sydney based writer that wrote about her cousin. Those books are not going to be available after the Festival because it’s not published for Indonesia.

Anyway, my friend and I took time to go shopping in downtown Ubud at midday to afternoon. I took her to my favorite batik shops, yes, we went to batik shops only. Did some shopping, we went back to the venue hurriedly. The last session was not to be missed. The funny, good looking, charismatic Mexican writer.

I knew nothing about him but somehow I could sense that he is an unusual writer. I bought the book in the morning, out of the blue, just by reading the back cover. I found out later that he won Mexican version of Booker Prize for his novel I just bought. So I was ecstatic to follow his session. He was so talkative (in positive way). And his Spanish-accent English sounded so sexy. The venue was full and we were all drawn by his charm.

He wrote sexy novels without being vulgar. He studied, observed, how things go with women – internally. I believe he is good at that because when he attended a book review in Middle East he shared the idea of the book without mentioning parts of body. He said literary book might not draw many readers but to have audience is always nice. We closed the session and the Festival with an applause.

Until next year. Tomorrow is Monday.

Picture of a sign in the end of Campuhan Ridge track.

Dive Into Diversity

Have attended the Festival three times now, I have benchmark to compare one to another. I’m not sure because of my first-timer enthusiasm or the fact but I feel the first Festival I attended two years ago offered more interesting topics.

Well, that’s not my excuse to skip some programs the past two days. I might have other excuses. This year I have a home in Ubud to refuge from boredom and heat; and have more friends coming so no more short lunch.

Yesterday I arrived at the venue half an hour late simply because I kept my morning ritual: cleaning and having smoothie that take… time. Today I decided to be a good girl by arriving on time. Like often actually, I hardly regretted whatever session I attended. It happened the first session was so interesting about, again, travel writing or journalism. Three speakers with all different characters had made a good panel.

I also enjoyed the session on writing about China that had two novelists from China. They both spoke good English so the ESL (English as second language) became a topic to discuss particularly like how they express feelings using language they learned later. They agree about English has rich vocabulary that offers many ways to express. Like in Japanese novels, what the Chinese experience at ‘home’ has given a particular flavor to the novel. I quite liked a Chinese novel I bought the other day. I could dive into the people's mind through the writing. Like often.

And the ‘dangerous’ session after lunch (because of: after lunch, breezy, and no coffee) was about writing cookbook or anything about food writing. The speakers were a famous food critic from Indonesia and a cookbook writer from Australia. Both had nice way to describe how difficult to describe taste especially the Indonesian where the vocabulary is so limited. The Indonesian speaker had invented an authentic expression to tell how good a taste Maknyus! Said the expression is so popular that I had no idea since I hardly had a chance to watch his show on TV. Anyway, I managed to stay awake during the session.

Although the last session I joined was not so inspiring because the spiritual guru talked about some particular topics in a negative way, I must say I had a nice day. I spent the evening with my friend roaming a street carnival that ended up less alive then we had expected. That’s okay. I could see the ‘business’ in the event so would share the organizer my idea.

Time flies, time went slow. Tomorrow is Sunday again and the last day of the Festival. I’m open to get more knowledge and fun.

Picture of a tee shirt I saw in the last session today.

WordWorld

I feel like an old lady this morning. My body falls apart. Even yesterday, I knew that I goodly needed a proper cardio exercise. It’s been too long.

I joined Jalan-jalan Workshop with a Lonely Planet writer and founder as part of the Ubud Writers and Readers Festival. I left house early since I was not sure if the walk started at 8 or bit later. It was the latter.

I had been familiar with the track. My good friend used to call the track Back of Ubud. The Festival calls it Campuhan Ridge. Anyway, it felt good to be back after more than a year of not walking the track. Actually, my new Ubudian friend lives in the end of the track that makes her the regular Campuhan Ridge walker. I would be happy to join her some time but please provide me with transport back.

It’s nice to be guided at 'home'. There were about 26 participants of many nationalities. The writer stopped every now and then to explain how things are and how life in Bali is. Before started, he had apologized if he made mistakes. And he actually made a significant mistake by taking the whole group but me entering an old sacred temple without wearing proper attire, I then understood that he is just a travel writer. He could not know all and he might miss something.

We spent 2.5 hours in the ridge not because of the distance but of the talk. He shared how he published the first Lonely Planet 35 years ago, how they selected the name of the company (funny story about this), how people believed that he had died of an accident somewhere in the corner of the world, how his two children grew up with lots of traveling (the boy thought he was born in the wrong family since he doesn’t like traveling), and of course about what we should know before writing a travel book. It’s a life time learning about language and local customs. He said writing about India is a never end challenge because of the wide diversity of anything (language, belief, custom).

It happened I walked just behind him most of the time so could also enjoy his talk to whoever walked close. He believed he had traveled the world except four places: somewhere in Africa and islands near New Zealand. Said he hardly came to a complete list of all countries or places in the world. I enjoyed the hot walk in the sun. People who make a living by doing something with great passion have always fascinated me. They are lucky to be able to know what they want.

I melted at noon. I got home all wet with sweat. I could not function for a few minutes before taking shower. The sun was unbelievably bright and hot. I could not even tolerate the intense sun in outside shower.

I attended two nice sessions in the afternoon. Meeting many friends from Jakarta was really nice. We laughed feeling that we were in our event. And before a nice dinner with good friends, we attended a book launch. Another wonder, someone did someone’s biography? Someone he never knew personally. I admired the study, the way he trailed someone’s life in America to Burma where the biologist lost his life because of nature he loved. That’s something especially because the book was commissioned. Forced passion? Must not be.

I got home after 9. I was the only one that survived from margaritas since I had none. It was fun.

Picture of Campuhan Ridge.

Get Familiar

Give me time to loosen up! My new Ubudian friend sighed on the way back home. We spent three good hours in the sun hunting for clothing. Visiting numerous shops, she became familiar with my and her styles. Sure, as an ex city girl, she is conventional. I had to push her to try some new styles with... more openings.

We started up in the Ubud Festival office again. This year things came late so we had to pick up stuffs several times. The beat of the Festival had started because the Festival opening is today. Like always, after had quick breakfast, we were itch for an activity. So off we went shopping. Actually, the trip was more for me giving her a tour in downtown Ubud. She hardly had time to do herself because she walked a lot from home. It limits her stretch.

We checked out many clothing shops so my friend would know which shops have her size. In the end, she felt inspired by the shops owned by foreigners live in Ubud. I could display my work too! She mumbled. I never saw her artwork but I believe she is a serious artist. She has studio that has heavy equipment to produce metal and textile works. I am curious now. I have to kick her. Yes, she is also one that needs a hard kick to be productive. Sounds familiar?

We ended the day well. I had good time with my good friend also had visited Neru to get a glimpse of the shop. Ubud is still quiet from tourists. That’s the cycle.

Picture of circle leaves in my pond.

The Bourne Ultimatum

Don’t walk out the door without a new modem! A friend reminded me to be strong. I know. There are times when I could be so weak that people could send me home without any change. Yes, my not liking to be in an argument is my weakness.

Since I got the message, I rehearsed what I’m going to say while waiting for my turn to tell my problem to the Internet service officer. And I performed it well, it seemed. The lady just exchanged my modem without further question. Hm. I’m not the first customer with such complaint? Anyway, I’m happy.

I enjoyed my short trip to Denpasar yesterday. In three and half hours I finished three items including shopping for beading supplies and home wares. It was hot but I’m used to now. But today is different story. It’s hot and I could hardly bear. It’s super! I ran errands about three hours and that’s all I could take. I hardly functioned in the afternoon. My mind went numb.

It’s 33.5 degree Celsius! I could not believe Ubud weather could vary within more than ten degrees. I missed those days when Ubud was 22 degree Celsius at ten in the morning… Dream on.

Picture of water in pond. It’s rare now as ‘summer’ is coming.

Vision Quest

What’s your next vision? A friend asked what I have in mind for my next ‘project’ – my target (in life)? – after I live in Ubud (my vision in the past). A good question that took me some time to compose the response. Such question that had made me dig my thought out.

Finally, I blurted out an idea that I had thought since long but hardly managed to put it into words. I had a vision unexpectedly! I want to have rental property (or villa) and silver jewelry business! I still have passion for artifact business but… I feel it doesn’t suit me anymore. My restless part, my itchy spirit that craves for a new thing every now and then.

So I told my friend that I am now at the ‘searching stage’ to materialize an idea that I believe it as my next vision. Managed to put my idea into words, I felt good to have shared it with a good friend meaning I had invited others to watch over me realizing my vision.

Two happy girls in a car to Sanur after being on-off about the plan for days. I said yes last minute to commit myself to the outing. We visited the famous organic market on Sunday in Sanur. It’s a place to see and be seen. That’s my friend’s idea to also “do people watching”.

I still parked car when my friend already decided to buy pots of vegetable plants. Her face lightened with excitement. She liked to tell me how happy she is after living a few weeks in Ubud. She felt confident to like the island more and more every day. Watching a good friend happy, I felt much happier.

We talked a lot like we had no other time. I could see that we both have ‘half drive’ to do things. Our mutual friend thought that it would be great if we could team up to create artwork, to do things for community, and to form an art group in the island. There are so many art forms to explore and artists to meet. Too many. It’s in every corner of the island.

I guess we are meant to meet here. It's time to kick the ideas out of our brains.

Picture of plant I took from Mama’s garden.

A Tale of My Girlfriend

Ah I have to work today! My girlfriend in Denpasar felt sorry she could not meet me. Yea, I got itchy feet to go out today. My Ubud girlfriend already had an appointment. So I told my friend I would let her alone and check my mood if I still want to go.

Then we talked about the challenge to work at home that she just entered a few months. She left a 9-to-5 job to work at home because the main office is in the US. Now she has to produce and attend conference call some time in odd hours. She could choose her ‘office’ style also the attire of course. So I told her now she could see why I found difficult to tame myself. Because I also work at my own pace.

Okay, I still have Sunday to work! So on we went to Seminyak. I focused on my initial purpose to go downtown. Get an old wooden chest! My friend ended up getting one also, bigger. I’m glad I’d done it since old Sulawesi wooden chest has become rare now. Sort of an investment. I mean, my excuse.

And the girls didn’t stop shopping. Two girls in Seminyak with all those fashion shops and ATM? We influenced each other in such a way that we hardly got out of a shop without carrying similar stuffs. She had an idea, I had an idea. Well, the dangerous thing is we both have quite same taste and style.

Early evening approaching, I told my friend to stop the adventure. It’s getting really dangerous to spend time together too long. We ended the day out in a nice supermarket.

I had nice driving back with noise in the back. The chest lock.

Picture of a sign in Jalan Raya Seminyak.

Waiting to Exhale

When Mama passed away, many closed ones showed attention through text, email, online chat, or call. I was touched by any way they showed. Anything I can do? became a magic question, it touched my heart. And when one offered her/his time to be with me or listen to me, it knocked me out completely. That moment I knew that I don’t cry if someone does unpleasant thing to me, kindness that has made me broke into tears.

Why did I bring this up? Pak Agung had touched me this morning. He delivered a letter for me and brought a stem of golden shower orchid from his garden. He was so sweet! Said his girls liked to cook the flowers so he thought sharing me some would not waste the beautiful flowers. What a nice thought! He liked to mention he would like to share his plant collection with me and ensured me not to worry about the maintenance since he’s going to do for me.

The past months I feel frustrated by mobile Internet modem I have used almost half year now. I was very proud of its convenience and suggested many friends to consider. Now look at me. I am bound to the 18-month contract to use the service so there’s nothing I could do since the monthly charge would be on till the end of the contract.

I don’t mind slow connection. Well, I mind but that’s nothing compared to what I experience the past weeks. The connection could not last more than ten minutes! And to get a steady signal so could reconnect needs ten to twenty minutes. It is so frustrating spending time waiting especially when I’m engaged in a chat.

I had called Desk Help several times and all I got were the usual questions Have you reset your modem? Have you tried to turn off your laptop? Do you know how to set the settings? I felt like a novice. I could not get my message through that I didn’t have problem before the past weeks, that everything was so convenient, that I didn’t make any change in settings…

I took time to write a positive complaint email the other day. I think they would pay more attention when I filed a formal letter. They responded though but with the same sound the Help Desk offered me. I come to understand that it’s hard for people in office to understand what’s happening out there, in the field. They could not understand that I could not get connection in Malang and it’s been two months now. They kept telling me that there’s no change in their service and all looked normal (in their monitor I guess).

Well, now I sound like a desperate woman. A friend reminded me that this is broadband in Indonesia while a friend in Houston said that her Jakarta connection was much better than in America. Holding it too long, we are all waiting to exhale!

Picture of the orchid from Pak Agung that resides nicely on my coffee table.

A Run for Your Money

What a nice morning watching the sun out! I was so excited to starting the day. I felt like life had resumed after being halted by the weather the past two days. I could feel it from the sound of activities around me. More motor bikes passing, busyness in neighbors’ garden, less people chatting because everyone might have gone out… Great!

Sun or not, I had to go out since I had a date with my friend. And since my car hadn’t been ready, I had to rent a car. And since I didn’t need to rent car for one day so I had to arrange errands to fit four hour or half day. It’s fun to make economy. Like a challenge.

I started the day out since 9. Post office, bookshop, bakery, supermarket, pharmacy, DVD shop, Neru… I was panting when met my friend at 11. The little car I rented was nice but oh so hot (my friend asked if hot was included in the rent). Actually nothing wrong with the car aircon, it was just hot outside.

We were in the Ubud Writers and Readers Festival office again. Today we bought pass for workshops and for me I was lucky since I was the last person registered in a workshop on travel writing that includes jalan-jalan with a Lonely Planet writer. Three days ago the workshops were still available and today those limited space were all sold out. They sold many through the Internet. This event definitely needs bigger space.

In the end of the four-hour, I was amazed how much things I could do in Ubud in four hour only. I was wet of sweat got home after returned the car. I walked, a short walk in the sun. My. What a healthy life here! Less stress, accomplished many, sweating, enough time to take rest and do things I like…

When I felt helplessly insecure in the morning, actually I kept telling myself that I don’t have a single reason to feel so. I might have proved it in the end of the day.

Picture of life in Ubud street from my rented car.

Something to Talk About

Same weather as yesterday. Heavy rain in the morning and cloudy all day. Said rainy season has started but I don’t think so. It’s just a mix-up of weather that Balinese are not able to rely on plintangan (Balinese weather calendar) anymore. So unpredictable.

I locked myself up at home because I didn’t want to wet myself on motorbike or when walking. I had errands to run but like many in life, those can wait too. I had planned to write and design silver jewelry but ended up spending time on phone. It’s funny about my new life. My connection with people is mainly virtual. Yesterday I didn’t talk to any person, this morning I exchanged a few sentences with Pak Agung who came to rake the leaves.

Any connection I made, I considered it productive though. I reconnected with relatives at the tail of Eid season, and got update of my Jeep offer from cousin Aga in Denpasar. There is one serious potential buyer. Believe it or not, he is the one I met in my compound parking lot when I was struggling to get the engine started. I must say he was the one who gave me the idea to sell the car. I wouldn’t have thought about the idea if he hadn’t asked if I would sell my car. Glad I took his number so before a week I had let him know that my Jeep is on offer. I really hope we are destined to be met.

I would continue making connection this evening. I still have several that need attention.

Picture of mango tree in Mama’s garden.

Who’ll Stop The Rain

What does the raining season looks like? My friend who just moved to Ubud expressed her worry. I told her the truth that in rainy season it could be m o r e. I know why she was a bit ‘scared’ about rain in Ubud, her house is still 80% done and she lives in it. The house is in the hill so exposed to the nature. Welcome in Ubud!

I stayed in as well. It was raining hard when I awoke. I laid my plan without fixing it. Without car I could not fix any plan, it all depended on the weather. I did laundry a bit later that thank goodness the sun was out eventually during noon time. I did house work that surprisingly took lots of time. Again, it’s no doubt that helper could actually help me saves time so I could do more. Well, no complain, it’s my choice. Also, I found doing house work is fun zen.

I spent almost all morning studying and discussing through emails with friends the Ubud Writers and Readers Festival's program. Since we haven’t had the hard copy we did all online. We need to decide what workshop and event we’d like to attend since the tickets sell very quickly. I ticked off one interesting event that I hope I could still get a space. My friends have different interest that is good so we could exchange experience later. We are all excited about the Festival.

Yesterday I watched DVD (or a movie) for the first time in Ubud (ever) after almost two years of not watching movie. How could I survive that? I could. I’m not easy to please. Even Love in The Time of Cholera is a good movie still I felt too much. Exaggerated. Or, I might have to believe that men could really suffer from love. And today I repeated, I watched Atonement. It’s better but I got similar feeling. Love is an unquestionable issue. It seems.

So what’s in the end of the day? Frogs in pond.

Picture of today’s Asian wisdom.

Me and You and Everyone We Know

A few days away is enough to see change on the island and around home. The weather is wetter: rain and humid. It’s good though because the short rain in the evening is enough to help me watering garden. Some plants had grown higher, some were cut that then gave different light effect. The orchid near shower outside is flowering. Nice little difference I found on the way.

I had nice day walking outside village. My car from rental is in garage because of dent I made several weeks ago. It’s a nice feeling to be back to old mode. Some motor and car drivers stopped to offer me a lift. I might have looked desperate for a ride. I was but I waited for Pak Agung, my staff. If I had all the time and energy, I would have loved walk all the way up to Indus.

I met up with my friend who just moved to Ubud. We bought pass for the Ubud Writers and Readers Festival. Actually we had time since we live here but we could not afford losing seats if too late. The Festival has gained popularity the past years and the venue doesn’t expand.

Actually, the buying ticket thing took only ten minutes but the chat took three hours. We didn’t gossip but we learned from our friends’ situation, our parents’ situation, custom here and in Switzerland… We didn’t draw conclusion but we reflected. I liked to have rediscovered our friendship. I felt like we started to learn about each other at early stage. We didn't have such opportunity when we lived in Jakarta. Like now we know that we both often have great ideas but need a good art partner to kick us to make things happen.

We looked at each other thinking how to kick each other as we live closer now.

Picture of cactus in Mama’s garden.

The State Within

Are you happy? Every time my friend checked me out I was not quite sure how to respond. The past years I had learned how to ‘label’ my state of emotion. As Javanese, we are not used to describe our feeling. Actually I must feel safe with the standard respond of I’m fine but I don’t feel right to have generalized my feeling. Okay, I’m fussing about it.

I started the day not too early. House was quiet. I was not sure if I’d like the idea to fly back today but I hadn’t rescheduled my ticket either. I felt like everything was vague – could not be fixed. It’s me I know. I’m not yet ready to make a progress in Mama’s house. I just shared my idea with Dhana and my relatives to heavy declutter garage and kitchen areas. For inside house… I need time.

I arrived airport way too early. Traffic to Surabaya is unpredictable because of the mud volcano. It’s end of Eid holiday, I departed early to avoid losing my flight back. Like elders, I missed my routine and place. I already felt bulging only a few days staying with a teenager. I committed sins like had pizza twice, choco spread on white bread, coke, ice cream, lots of snacks… I didn’t have enough fruits and physical exercise let alone proper stretching. It’s easy to feel the uneven distribution of fat!

Anyway, Bali airport hardly failed to make me genuinely smile. I feel so good. I seemed more content.

Picture of Mama’s orchid I found near carport.

Story Store: A Quiet Day

I had short sleep. I felt like sleeping with eyes open. I could hear mosquitoes buzzing nearby but glad they didn’t eat me. For I don’t know the reason, I looked forward to getting up.

I got up. I stayed online for a while then taught Anto how to mop floor with one I bought with Dhana yesterday. Like a sales promotion girl, I told him the advantage of using such mop style compared to the other one. It’s nice to have a good laugh in the morning.

Idle. The house was quiet. Only three of us. I moved to chat with Ely, the girl who once lived with Mama for two years more than ten years ago. We chatted till one o’clock last night. She shared me her work, love life, and life. It’s interesting. About her love life, I’d tried to understand her situation but it seems I have to realize that people have a unique consideration. It’s always interesting to learn about someone’s life that could be quite different than mine.

We had lunch together. We had hilarious talk about being the only child in the family. Though have a sister but I live pretty much by myself since very young. We have developed our own world that might be considered ‘unusual’ for many. It’s another hilarious moment when we compared notes.

That wasn’t too long. The house was quiet again in the afternoon. I felt sleepy but stayed awake in bed. Got up, I scrubbed bathroom floor. It’s strange that I still have homework to do in the house but I feel like I don’t have drive to do. At least at the moment.

I’d prefer to stay quiet to sink in. The homework could be big.

Picture of ylang-ylang I took yesterday.

Baby’s Day Out

It’s exactly the day! Dhana exclaimed. He learned the date from Papa’s grave post. I knew but I forgot. Yes, today is Papa’s 15-year anniversary of passing away. We visited the cemetery before noon after a stop at an uncle’s house to Eid chitchat.

We decided to have a mini tour downtown after two days locked self at home. We stocked up food: bread, sweets, syrup, and many more. Like kids without ‘supervision’, we just bought whatever we fancied. I was alert of potential for wasting food or stuffs though because we were starving when shopping. That’s what they say: don’t go to supermarket when you feel like eating.

Walking in a mall in Malang is a new experience for me. Being in long queue to have lunch, in Malang, is quite an experience too. We had fun. Got home, I felt tired although it’s only a four-hour trip. Must be the new experiences…

I didn't have time to relax as Oom Anta's friends had arrived. They came to help out in the house preparing Mama's Quran reading. They say that one’s spirit lingers in her/his house until 40th day of passing away. So in Java, they hold a Quran reading on the day after the same ritual on the first to seventh day. Mama’s 40th day happened to fall on the same day of Papa’s 15-year anniversary of passing away so we held a joint commemoration.

Only a few attended the Quran reading since many were still busy with family on Eid days. Tidak apa-apa. I’m glad I had had nice chats with many of Mama’s closed ones since yesterday. Her vegetable vendor, her closest opposite neighbor, her roommate on overseas trip, and finally one of Mama’s children (Mama supported some 35 teenagers to finish university).

Like my friend shared with me, let’s hope Mama’s spirit soars today. We all had cherished our time with Mama. And would continue it for ever…

Picture of Papa’s grave post.

Yours, Mine and Ours

Our life together continues today. I started quite early at 5 o’clock like the usual first night in Mama’s house because the pray call (adzan) never failed to wake me up at 4:30. Only after a few days my body would be able to just sleep through it.

I sent numerous emails: Eid and thank-you notes. There are times when I unintentionally built up not-yet-responded emails and texts in my Inbox, or silent thank-you-s in mind. Dark morning is always a good time to clear Inbox out by replying. Like a proper reach out.

The result of the action usually popped up before too long. It’s so nice to know that people could be so appreciative by responding instantly. Thing I should keep in mind to also do more often. Through an exchange, I found out that another friend had just moved to Bali. She told me last year her wish to move that I thought she just considered it as an option after her relationships broken. But she made it! Another tough woman who left Jakarta life with two teenage boys to start an art business and simply a new life in Bali. For a foreigner, this is something.

So my life with my nephew went on today. He got up a bit later but like regime, I noticed, he hardly failed to follow his routine to shower at 8 in the morning and 4 in the afternoon. I was thinking to go out but realized that I’d better stay home to prepare things for tomorrow while watching Phil Collins’ Farewell Tour concert on DVD.

My nephew and I met up at dining table every meal time. We set the table simple but sufficient to meet proper standard table setting. Actually we also omitted some procedures like when we ordered salad and pizza for dinner. It was hilarious to know but to omit.

In general, we had nice quiet time at home. It looked like we did less, it did not. We used our time at home very well.

Picture of my view from where I’m sitting now.

Home Alone 2

Why 2? Because we, nephew Dhana and I, are home alone. Tante, who’d been babysitting him the past days, went home, left me the big house and the big kid to look after. It was fun though.

I went through a long journey from Ubud to arrive Mama’s house in the afternoon. A 6-hour journey. I could have flown from other part of the world with such length of time. Anyway, no complain. Just a fun observation. I had chance to listen to music during the 3.5 hours drive from Surabaya. I was just lucky to get a private taxi on Eid day to take me in the long journey.

I spent all afternoon chatting with Auntie and set up my command post in a low stage near the Internet modem. The spot has been my post since long. I could have my stuffs and projects close without invading others' way or space. And I could sit in the area for hours that Mama often asked what I’m doing actually. Even I could not break down what I do in the post. Anyway, it’s a nice spot in the house because of easy access to entertainment and food!

Dhana is a good boy (then and still). He continued doing what he and Mama used to do. For one, because he enjoyed preparing meal. That I like it very much because I don’t enjoy being in kitchen. We just agreed on the time to have meal then he would prepare. He cooked before dinner that I had to wait in hunger. No problem. It’s ketupat (rice cake) salad he said when I wondered what’s on his plate. He made use of my oleh-oleh from Bali: mayo, sauce, oil, mustard… Hm… taste nice.

We spent the evening walked around the house and did whatever we felt like to do. Watching DVD I brought, rummaging snack jars, discussing nonsense… It was fun! Do things without elders watching. Oh… am I supposed to be the one?

Picture of Mama’s house now with wrapped mangoes hanging.