Did you have a nice day?

The reception staff asked me when I fetched my room key. I was stunned for a few seconds before excitedly replied. I realized yesterday that I’m away from Asia. People look but when I look back, they look away without smiling. Then I would be the one who have a big smile. By myself!

It’s Monday today. All cities have their own ‘city rules.’ In Perth, shops start late and close early every day. Except Sundays when they are all closed! I walked out around 11 after finished a blog-post in room after breakfast. Hm… many shops are gesloten on Monday in Wageningen. Or, they open after noon and close before dark. So here I am with my Asian pattern of starting early. In Ubud shops open at 9, in Singapore at 11 but could be open till 10 to 12 in the evening.

The temperature was fresh but I needed two layers of light jackets and a shawl to walk comfortably. I took my time to find the postkantoor to mail mails a friend asked me to help sending. I took pictures of interesting buildings along the way. I don’t remember the last time I sent mails using stamps. In Ubud, I use registered mails to ensure speedy delivery. It took me some time to comprehend that buying stamps here mean buying a set of stamps unlike in Indonesia where we can buy singly. I let the guy calculated for me how much sets I need to send the envelopes and postcards. Nice sticker stamps! No more licking glue!

I walked more through many intersections while keeping the central plein as center. I called the plaza alun-alun because it reminds me of alun-alun setting in many cities in Java. A setting set by the Dutch during the colonial days. The plaza has a main church quite in the middle, then the stadhuis (townhall) in one side, then some banks and government offices nearby, and alfresco restaurants surround the church. I just missed the prison because our alun-alun almost always has a prison in one side. Here they have shopping walk where only pedestrians and bikers can use the brick walk. It’s so pleasant!

So I chose to have light lunch by the church. It’s always nice to listen to church bell every hour when in Europe. It’s just special. When I walked back some shops had been open. I made a few stops to check out what’s in there. My friend in Ubud had reminded me Don’t buy anything! Sure. I have passed the age when shopping during travel is fun.

But… say it again?

The shopping walk in Wageningen after the sun comes out in the afternoon.

Ah you are here already!!

I called my friend in Belgium. It’s so good to hear her voice again after summer we spent together in Ubud. Yes, I missed her and am glad I would see her soon! Me too didn’t believe that I’m in Holland for the second time after some… 18 years?

For one, it brought me nice memories of traveling with Mama and my sister. All girls. It’s so nice to be able to roam some countries with them. True what they say that life is too short. How often we had time to go on holiday with loved ones? We didn’t do that much either but it’s enough to keep some countries in Europe and Asia, and Australia as memory of good times spent together.

I arrived Amsterdam early morning and had tummy problem the rest of the day. I enjoyed the nice new airplane so much that I didn’t think much about wearing socks although I had it in my tote bag. I got what orang Jawa called kembung. My tummy made noise all day and bothered me a bit. I survived the day though. My friend showed me old town of Holland in Wassenaar and Wageningen where we stay now.

When I visited first time, we stayed in big city Amsterdam between travels to neighbor countries. So yesterday was my first experience of visiting old towns of Holland. It’s so old that I told my friend this morning I feel like standing in a movie set of the 18th century. Dutch are good in preserving the ‘atmosphere’ – more important than just preserving the buildings. ATM machines are nicely placed to merge with the old buildings. No modern glass boxes with loud signs. And many other examples.

The weather was surprisingly super fresh or Ubudian might like to say… dingin! It’s sunny but the wind was brrr… Said that I’m lucky to be here this week because the weather is apparently more pleasant compares to some weeks ago when it’s wet all day. I have an umbrella ready like the saying (after an adjustment) “When in Holland, do as the Dutch do.” Carry an umbrella always.

I’m going to roam Wageningen downtown now. I have spotted a museum, an antique shop, and a post kantoor. Three interesting places. Other shops? Okay, but that’s extra.

Downtown Wassenaar where centuries-old fountain meets recent car.

Was it or wasn’t it you?

A friend asked since his relative saw me in supermarket around noon. He thought I had left early. It was me! Yes, it’s unusual that I made a trip to supermarket before left for airport. I decided to leave early after finished my morning at home. And glad I left early, it’s so unusual too that I saw two serious accidents in the neighborhood that caused a bit traffic. I took my time driving downtown. Arrived airport, I was in awe of the crowd queuing to get into x-ray check. And later at airport tax booth. The queue was wow! Even after they opened two more booths.

Flight to Hong Kong was full and chilly as often. Good I’m well prepared this time. I have all the woolen stuffs I didn’t usually take when traveling. I feel very fine now. Warm. Hong Kong airport is not as attractive as Changi in Singapore so it’s good. I have time to reply to emails, check out Facebook accounts, and… write a blog post!

My flight to Amsterdam leaves midnight. I plan to continue reading in the first 6 hours of 12-hour flight and sleep later so I can start turning my body clock from now. I’m happy that I’m good in taking water since Singapore trip. I haven’t had anything else but water. It’s good for my throat too. I was worried about catching sore throat since two days ago that I had bombarded with lots of high-dose vitamin C and OTC medicine I didn’t usually take. I wouldn’t take a chance! I have to be in my super. And I am now…

View from my bed that I often missed.

Are you ready to go?

My friend asked me this morning when we met for a few businesses before I leave. Mmm should be yes. I had a long to-do list to run today. Unexpectedly. I thought I wouldn’t have a car but glad the car is out of garage while waiting for the parts to arrive.

My life has been whirling like a fan. In and out. Visiting hometown has put me in some sort of different feelings. Chatting with ex neighbor had entailed to a series of phone calls from somebody who expected me to help. Chatting with cousins helped me to cherish the loving memory of our Eyang like how great she was as a grandma in our age. A real Javanese woman in batik and wearing nice hairpiece at all time. She passed away in 1996 in her 86. She is an idol, still. Lastly, chatting with an old friend brought me to her bitter circumstance.

I felt good when landed in Ngurah Rai airport. My like for Bali is indescribable. Also today when I drove back from my friend’s house passing a vast rice field with a deep valley in the distance. I said it loudly I would never take this for granted. And I mumbled the same statement when walking in the sun in Jalan Kajeng. A little road with charm.

I finalized packing before dark. I will have a half day tomorrow but really I don’t want to think anymore. I decided to close the packing business because I wanted to end the process. Oleh-oleh are surprisingly not-light. I have with me a bit of Bali coffee, abon (beef floss), and bawang goreng friends asked to bring. I also bring some nice textiles from a foundation shop that practices fair trade with the weavers around Indonesia. I’m happy to have found a great gift that helps me promote Indonesian handmade works.

I ended the day very well. I got an offer to help the Heritage to do museums stuffs for Museum Encounters (Java-Bali) book. The Jakarta edition has been launched last year and is a great success. Now the organization will do the rest of Indonesia. Ah great! I’m excited to start doing it after my return although the deadline is quite tight. My friend sounded happy learning that I agreed to help. He has missed me helping out in Jakarta. Well…

View from my Malang bed.

Tunggu limabelas menit!

My cousin asked me to wait for him fifteen minutes in our usual meeting point before airport. He overslept that he missed meeting me at the appoint time. Thing I had thought yesterday. I didn’t usually think about ‘what if’ but it just came into my mind. It happened! So last night when the power was out for a brief time. In the afternoon I told my friend over online chat that I need to finish up my packing before dark because I don’t want a blackout to happen again. Yes, I once experienced a blackout a night before an early morning travel.

The kirtankar I used to join liked to remind us to be careful of what we think in Ubud because Ubud has the power to realize anything. She only lives in Ubud a few months but she’s already got the ‘message’ from the place. I thought after the two incidents happened within 12 hours. It was my wish or I caught the energy before the things happen? I often wondered about this phenomenon since it happened to me quite often since long time. I should have talked it out ‘to cancel.’ If only stays in mind, it could happen. Based on my observation.

Anyway, I left the unlocked car in car park 'a la Bali' for the first time. I used to do it when my car rental owner could not meet me in airport to pick up the car. It’s common practice. Put the key under the seat. Ssshh ssshh… My cousin was a bit worried by my decision but I was worried more of my flight (the joy of having car insured). The airline almost always flew on time and I was not sure if my cousin would be on time. It’s resolved anyway!

I got in Malang house a bit past noon. I dozed on and off during the 2.5 hours in car. I was a bit dizzy; of the weather, of the motion, of something else. But coming to a familiar place is always nice. I enjoyed bonding with my nephew again. Here in Java I felt Ramadhan is on that I hardly felt in Bali. Of course. I needed to apologize to whomever close before having something. I synced of what and when to eat with my nephew although I also snacked before fasting-break in late afternoon. It’s just fun to do things together. In sync with positive energy.

Quiet picture I like.

Work is fun you know…

A friend wrote me when I reminded him to stop working on Saturday. He then elaborated why’s fun; he got people from some international organizations visiting him in his new station in Papua this weekend. Oh… I’ve known too well how fun work could be for many people. I’m lucky to be surrounded with people who loved and love their work since I was a kid. Although I decided not to follow my late parents’ path as teacher but I could feel their passion for their profession. Work was fun too for them.

I didn’t work today. I moved around house tidying up and packing up – slowly but sure. I thought the other day what life would be without things to do. Often I felt overwhelmed by things I need to do. So many little things like having a debt, it haunts me and makes me wanting to be free from any kinds of ‘debt.’ Free means tick everything off, not avoid.

Like many other weekends, I often chat with friends who are busy during weekdays. But this friend who has same sleeping pattern like me is busy all the time. He travels out of town during weekdays and works (happily) at home during weekends. He is the one who is connected to the Internet 24/7 except when he’s in flight. I admire how he organizes about 4 events per year that involve many artists per event. Managing people, that’s tough, for me I feel. Selecting artworks, expecting the artists to be cooperative, publishing catalogs, advertising the event, and all the details in holding an event. It must be fun for him.

So yes, the time before taking a break is my time to review what I have done and still need to do. I’m quite satisfied. I’m ready to have a good time.

Stretching in Sanur beach.

Pulang kerja?

Home from work? The gas station guy asked me. I must have looked tired. I was. The sun was intense and that’s among my weaknesses being outdoor in Bali. The sun. I just drove up back in Ubud when realized my tank ran low. I have to have enough to take me to Denpasar early morning on Monday.

I spent some nice hours in Sanur with my friend who lives in Denpasar. We did a project together. She has agreed to sell pictures she took around Bali as hobby. I got the idea sometime ago after I saw her works on Facebook. Such quality works are not supposed to end in an external hard disk of the photographer. I invited her and her friend to select some of their works on Bali to sell in Neru. So we selected the pictures together this noon.

I also sold quite a lot of bracelets and necklace to her. Eid Mubarrak is coming and she’s going to host colleagues from her office in the US so she needed a lot of gifts. Any reason, it’s great for me! The gas station guy was right. I was on my way home from work. My kind of work. Work I hardly considered during my years in school I would do now. Selling passion.

I learned from a friend last night how he decided to reside in Ubud after years of living in Europe. I’m interested to know how people I know decided their path. It’s a reflection for me. He acted fast in deciding a major change in life. It’s brave and lucky. I’m not a coincidence believer. Thing happens with a cause. And we control the cause, no other. The rest works because we want it to work. If a door opens, it’s because we knock on it. It’s amazing!

I’m quite satisfied with what I have done the past months. Glad I’m going to have a break soon, in time I need. I look forward to knocking other doors after the break!

Doors I found between Mertasari beach and Sindhu beach in Sanur.

Laris… laris… laris…

The shopkeeper waved the money she received from me on her merchandise. It was still early when I made a sale in her shop. Balinese have a sweet way to bless anything. They are so easy to feel grateful of the first sale or 'might be' the last sale before closing the day. It gives me a good feeling.

I made three first-sales in three shops today. I know the owners of all the shops. Living in Bali, where many from my circle are business(wo)men, we support each other by visiting each other business. I just knew the other day that a friend who has owned a restaurant in the main road of Ubud over 15 years just opened a shop for recycled papers she produces. It happened I needed a good arty paper for gift-wrap. Her shop looked so neat. I liked the way she decorated the shop and the paper products are beyond. High quality of recycled paper on frames, albums, journal, boxes… Very nice alternatives of gifts. I admired her work.

The second shop that had my credit-card slip waved on the merchandise was a jewelry shop. The well-known Dutch jeweler. His jewelry is often be my choice for gift from Ubud. Simple, modern, yet funky. Like such design doesn’t come out of a village because it’s very stylish. Been his patron for years, I got to know the designer last year. I was caught wearing a row of his bracelets when we met. He never doubted my like for his creation. He teased me every time we met. You are a collector. What can I say?

So I decided to make a detour to support the jeweler’s ex-shopkeeper I have known over five years. She quit her job with the jeweler and started her own business near a big supermarket I often visit. She sells Bali-made clothing at a triple price I got in my Ibu’s shop in the market. I bought a white blouse from her. She was heavily pregnant with her second. Another nice personality I met in Ubud. And yes, she also waved my-become-her money on the desk we made transaction. It was close to noon when I made my third purchase.

I stopped by a warung I know the owner-cum-chef since Ubud Festival years ago. With his partner, he also runs chic bungalows in Ubud and Yogya near his hometown. I visit this warung at least twice a week simply because it has nice menu, close to home, and I feel at home. And the fact that I could also support a friend, I really don’t mind.

I made another round in Ubud downtown. Today’s theme is banking. I’d been procrastinating too long and I really needed to get this done before I leave. I almost come to the end of my to-do list. I will do a little business tomorrow in Sanur and really hope to have a break on Sunday. I look forward to… experiencing a lot. Life is just good.

Little bundles of paddy on a penjor in Ubud palace.

At least we can connect through Facebook.

My yoga teacher said after we hugged goodbye. I told her I would miss her class three weeks. It’s hard to believe that three weeks actually is a long time – almost one month yes. That’s life – coming in and out.

The past two days I tied up loose ends around Ubud. Short and long term plans. This time five hours per day felt so short to running here and there plus keep doing my ritual like doing household chores at home, and attending yoga and pranayama classes. I have wrapped up my bracelet/necklace factory a few days ago since I knew I wouldn’t have time to do until I return next month. It’s also nice to have a tidy room when I’m back from long travel.

I still have three days left to do more. I could feel I’m procrastinating packing as if I still have two weeks to go. Every morning I realized it’s coming it’s coming but I haven’t made a real progress. I take my time.

I realized the past days that yoga and pranayama classes have helped me to control my uneven and short breath that bothers me sometime. It’s amazing how things in our body are actually controlled by our mind. Life could be easier then if we know how to control from mind.

The half-way stairs going to my yoga class that has no light in the evening.

Don’t worry, be happy.

That’s the slogan of my car insurance company that proved to be true today. It's not a translated slogan, it's in English. Actually I hesitated to go to Denpasar since I was late to be ready. But I was still in the mood of Do what you can do today so no delay. I had to go.

Then it’s bang! I stopped my car timely not to hit the car in front of me that just took over my way. Since my previous car accident, I’m aware of safe distance between cars especially here in Bali where the road is so smooth and the traffic is too ‘manageable.’ So yes, I stopped before kissing the car but the car behind me pushed my car hard so it kissed eventually. It’s funny when I looked at rearview the car behind me was coming in uncontrollable speed and I just ‘waited’ the bang to happen. It’s all in a matter of seconds. Four damaged cars stopped and opened doors. I walked out to see my damage and felt sorry immediately for the car owner behind me who had his radiator burst because it hit my trunk door.

I only stayed out of car a few minutes then back sat in my cool air-conditioned car. We had gathered spectators by then and caused the traffic jammed. I didn’t want to bake myself in the sun and my Bali outfit was definitely not for larger crowd. I didn’t feel anything. I just called my cousin to get his point of view since I could not move on with my day with car being tightly sandwiched by two cars.

It took sometime before policemen came and asked the guys how it happened. Maybe. I was not sure since I stood in the shade away from the other damaged-car owners. It’s interesting that later one by one approached me asking from where and to where I'm going, and where’s my husband. My friend in Denpasar was right that we cannot live as a single in Bali. I didn’t answer the question but asked them if I can just go to continue my day. They didn’t let me especially the policemen! Although I would not claim and be claimed by others but I was considered involved. Of course.

We had a good laugh at police station later. We spent some two hours in the heat waiting for the policeman to take note (yes in longhand) and to decide how to solve the issue. There were six men and me, and no one was upset! No one! Even the one with broken radiator. In the end, the policemen refused to issue a statement for our car insurance companies. Good my insurance company does not need a police statement. So we were all free after two hours. It was still noon. I continued going downtown and finished running errands with ‘not round’ car anymore.

Life is unpredictable. My plan then slightly changed. My car would be in garage from next week on so all shopping have to be done within this week. Like Javanese often express: It could have been worse! So be happy!!

The corner that gives me different feeling from today on.

Set yourself free, set others free…

I joined Sunday kirtan last night. It’s just nice to be out of house after a day living with myself at home. Having no Internet connection forced me to have a real connection with myself. Had finished household chores ritual, I started reading and later in the afternoon I found myself sitting on bedroom floor cleaning the wooden slits. It could be fun too. Like meditation, be silent!

The thing is… now I know, many things I do, I do online. I had an idea to plan my weeks but my calendar is online. I wanted to compose write-ups for Neru page but the material is online. I planned to share pictures but I need to be online. I remembered I needed to write to some friends but of course… need to be online. I think I need to start reading a book again.

Today is Indonesia’s Independence Day. I heard national anthem played somewhere. It reminded me of my childhood when we had to come to school for an hour to attend raising-flag ceremony. It’s a strange feeling that I went to school in the morning then be 'independent' after that. It’s nice!

And since the national holiday falls on Monday so the weekend becomes a long weekend. It’s a perfect waiting if you have something to do on workdays. I couldn’t file my complaint about my landline phone because the Ubud office closed. The Help Desk center in Jakarta (oh so far away) only received my complaints. I'm so focused with what I’m going to do first thing tomorrow that I keep thinking today is the day. My staff will ask Telkom to fix the line and I will go to Denpasar to make my Internet mobile modem works again. I rescheduled my other errands in Denpasar so that I could do all tomorrow instead on the day I had planned.

Like all, I learned to keep options available. I was too comfortable using the speedy connection that now I know slower connection can be fine too in emergency. I will activate the other two options tomorrow.

And now, I practice what Mama used to tell us Do what you can do today.

Set the cock free in Sanur.

Use your other senses than sight…

We were blindfolded and sitting in circle in a yoga studio. There were about 12 participants joining the ‘might be’ first in the world blind yoga class. Our young Scottish yoga teacher told us. She’s a yoga teacher and a social worker. She worked at Mother Teresa’s orphanage for the blind for sometime where she met a five-year-old girl whom she helped to gain physical and emotional confidence without sight. It’s a wonderful experience for her because of the girl’s trust in her. And that she believed that we all need others in this life.

What a good message! Trust, confidence, and need! So we went through a series of activities to sharpen our senses other than sight. We passed sound that came to us to our friend on our right side then we passed bracelets with textures to feel. We moved together arm in arm in circle. We held hands and walked the room to feel what’s beneath our feet. We had to find a partner to help each other doing yoga postures where we had to rely on our partner for balance and strength. It’s fun when the instructor asked us to find an empty mat for us to ‘occupy.’ One thing for sure, we had to have a good orientation of the room and where the instructor was.

Yes, we did all in blindfold. In three hours solid. After the first session of orienting our other senses, we did: some simple yoga postures, just dancing or moving to the music, yoga nidra (relaxation but stay awake), and kirtan to close the session. They positioned us in front of nice paintings in the end of the session before let us open our blindfold. It was windy in the studio. I shivered a bit during the session. I enjoyed the quack quack of ducks in nearby rice fields. That’s definitely something I might miss in my ‘keterburu-buruan jaman.’

We were asked to share a word before and after the session. Mine were challenge and brave. Both are applied to the blind in the world and have inspired me who is, thank Universe, blessed with all senses. I should appreciate more of what have given to me.

Such thought often came up when I turned on my Internet modem in ‘the past.’ I once lived in Ubud with Internet connection limit that I needed to walk downtown to be online. Then I used wireless connection from neighbor provider that had erratic connection. Then my slow mobile modem that I stopped the subscription last month. And here I am now with my fast connection down on the third day. It was hard on the first day but now I just feel that I’ve been blindfolded. I need to use my other ‘senses’ to live.

And I still continue working on ‘using positive words’ project with my friend. We shared about our project with our friend over dinner in her beautiful house by the beach last night. She is a positive person so we laughed a lot about how many times we say something nice out of nothing.

In other words, we practice silence.

Sunrise in Sanur. Quiet.

I had so much fun.

My friend texted me before sleep last night. We spent a night in Sanur the other night. It was a spontaneous plan after we planned to visit Sanur Festival. The festival sounded ‘big’ and ‘something’ so my friend came up with a sleepover idea rather than drive back to Ubud in the night. So that we could also enjoy sunrise in the beach. Oh yes!

We went after attending yoga class, our ritual. It was quite hot when we got Sanur. Our room was not super but yes… pricey! It’s high season, they said. We took cab to the venue in the neighbor beach. It looked interesting but… ‘empty.’ We walked further and tried to find the wow part of the festival. We ended up sipping ice coffee in a setup café near a stage with oh-so-loud music. The stalls looked quite boring.

We looked at each other and decided to walk the 2-km back toward hotel. In this trip we agreed on a new pact: use no negative expression or expression with negativity. We even tried to rephrase negative words into positive ones. Not easy but it gave us good laugh and pushed us to have second thought before speak. We invented a code when one goes negative. Goong goong!

I never walked in Sanur area so it’s nice to see a different 'city culture’ in Bali. I don’t know why many houses in Sanur have nice doors on the fence wall. Narrow like a house door with a nice little roof on top. I believe they have a belief, say like Chinese, where a house has to have two doors: one wide and one narrow to let the wealth flow in (through the wider one) and flow out (through the narrow one). Nice ya? I should research Sanur philosophy of doors.

The sunrise walk was super although the beach was not as nice as the beach in the west part. No waves and no clean sand. Still, to see the sun up in the horizon is super. And the dogs dipped themselves in the water. Auw!

I went home to a house without Internet connection. My modem didn’t blink, till now actually. Like often, things happen on weekends (and this weekend is a long weekend!). No complaints, no negativity, it’s a fact. Only this morning Telkom confirmed that my number has lost connection and they are still working to fix it. Fine with a smile.

The kites exhibition in the Sanur Festival.

Yea, it’s important too to feel healthy…

My yoga teacher told me when I corrected my statement. I was supposed to say It’s good to be healthy. But I also agreed with her that to feel healthy is as important. I attended my second pranayama class with her this early evening. I could feel the benefit from attending the class last week. My short breath became ‘lighter.’ I told her about my issue when she asked if I have question. It happened I was the only one in class when it started so she designed the class to practice expanding lung capacity. Thing I need.

I enjoyed attending the ‘sunset class’ where we can enjoy the transition between light and dark. The timing is perfect. The studio is in the best location I know so far. All we could see is just green and great distance. It’s perfect for expanding mind horizon. She often asked us to visualize the immensity of the universe. It’s so easy to do it in her studio, not in a suite in a high-rise building in Jakarta. I believe.

So… I was not so productive today although my friend wished me a nice productive day. My ‘sweatfactory’ is lower in productivity today. 'Sweatshop' is term for low paid workers serve shops that earn more. I altered the term. I was thinking to buy more stones but I better stop shopping. I made a pact with myself that I have to finish all materials first and most importantly to sell before buying again. I was often trapped in creating mood that actually might not last long.

The other day a Buddhist friend commented on my friend’s appreciation of bracelets I made. I didn’t feel that my friend appreciated enough so my Buddhist friend said that the attitude is the result of ‘keterburu-buruan jaman.’ It’s a poetic term so it’s not easy to translate. Briefly, maybe, it has the same meaning with ‘people don’t have time to smell roses.’ Yes, that’s close.

I felt the same with breath alignment (pranayama) session. Our busyness makes our breath unsteady and that makes us feel headache or stressed out. So pranayama helps us to slow down our pace then to return to mind our body. Starts with minding our breath.

Hey I had a good day so it must be productive! My way.

Monalisa’s buddy.

R u ok?

My friend texted me out of the blue. So I called her to find out what might be the case I was not okay. She said she’s afraid she might find me in the ditch because this afternoon I mentioned about a man I met but haven’t had a chance to finish the story. We had a good laugh and looked forward to sharing stories when we spend a night in Sanur this week.

I was in shower before dark just now when the thought came up again. I had an idea the other day to make an art installation for my garden out of plastic containers collected from my daily life. I have a lot of loud green yogurt containers by now. I didn’t throw them away because the size is good for jars in kitchen but I don’t need. My masseuse and cousin in Denpasar had said no to those. They got more than they need already. And 1-liter mineral water bottles? I don’t use 1-gallon bottle since I don’t drink that much and travel a lot. The latter is not that bad but yogurt drink bottles, shampoo and conditioner bottles, skin care pots, mouthwash bottles, oooh you name it! It’s a lot! I feel bad that I haven't found out how to recycle. If I’m going to make an art installation, I need to collect them first till the amount is enough to start. I thought. But how should I collect them? Putting them outside? I don’t like starting an installation out of worn stuff like a real garbage although the idea is still the same. An artwork out of garbage!!

I kept the idea for a week or two then decided to forget about it. Since I live by myself, I might not have the right speed to start an artwork soon. And, I don’t have enough space in the house to pool the ‘clean garbage.’ If I do outside, my gardener might think I’m a crazy woman who likes to live with garbage. But… the past week, again, I feel bothered by the plastic containers I put in trash can. If I have patience, the artwork can be started before end of the year actually. If I thought I might hardly come to the right amount of material, then it might be there before I know it. Now, it’s there in the dump! Not in my collection.

So today when I saw a man walk carrying a fishing-net-like around with a mmm pincers (I don’t remember the right term – a tool to pick up things), I thought about my project again. When I saw him after yoga, his net was still empty, but when I saw him again later in the afternoon he already got a bagful of plastic bottles. I wish I could contribute to his collection. This thing bothers me since I don’t spend time to think about it more seriously. Thing I should do, following my late Mama’s path. She was so good in taking care of used plastic. She practiced recycle and reuse. Practically anything.

Another thing to ponder.

Trash labels in a project in South Jakarta.

What? Are you a drama queen?

Yes, my friend nodded calmly and proudly. The conversation was a long time ago but I could not forget since she didn’t look like one! She said that she needs to be a drama queen once in a while to get… more attention! I know that but… Ugh. Really that is not my style but I am considering now. I rarely showed ‘escalation’ in emotion or… I did it quietly. Anyway, closed ones are so used to my attitude that later I learned I don’t have space to be a human and a woman. If I overreacted to something then I looked like I was not normal. Then I lost the opportunity to be out of my robot mode.

That’s why I prefer to be in robot mode at anytime. It hurt me to be aligned back into robot mode.

I sold four bracelets to my friend in Denpasar this morning. My first sell myself. We met since she’s going to take some to Jakarta tomorrow. It’s nice to see how people excited about my creation. I also got compliments on bracelet I wore today! I’m happy that I don’t have enough attachment to my creation this time. I enjoyed it but really it’s a ‘dedicate and release’ moment for me. So it’s nice! My friend has warned me not to fall in like with my creation too much otherwise I won’t share it with others. She knew me too well.

I spent almost six hours in Denpasar today. It’s an unexpectedly long trip. I made four stops and the traffic was not that smooth. I’m happy though. I always liked driving to Denpasar and running errands in the city.

Think I’m back to my mode now…

I don’t believe that I look like Papa in this picture.

I am now discovering the most powerful affirmations for me now.

My card says. I joined kirtan session again this evening. It’s always a nice experience: the singing and the new people I met. I experienced what ‘my partner’ called 'the most emotional session.' In the last part of the session, we had to be partnering with whoever sat next to us. So there I was partnering with a British guy lives in Hongkong who sat next to me. We had to look at each other while sending the blessing. I wasn’t able to stare at him – a stranger!! He had a hard time to do his part too! But… we managed to do it very well after the chanting starts. It’s interesting that we hugged a stranger in the end. I like the spirit of ‘be open.’

The past few days I thought about what bothers me a lot. This morning I could pin down two items: being refused and being preached. Both are strong terms that I don’t mean that strong. I mean just the concept. Like if I ask something and the other party turns it down. Yea, I’m just sensitive about those things because these days hardly one said Oh it would be nice but… instead of Maaf, next time. Yeah.

Or, if somebody tries to 'align' me by telling me what I’m supposed to react or do. Not that I don’t like to do the same to others. I do sometimes – automatically, unintentionally. But… I learn from my feeling about this alignment thing. I’m careful when I start with something like Oh you should… No one likes to hear that should thing. Or any approach that aligns… Ugh! So boring.

That’s just thoughts that came out when I was meditating… I mean when I was making bracelets. Making bracelets is like being in a light trance; I got ideas – some are bright and some are nice, I’m in touch with my feelings – nice and not so nice. It’s really nice moment! I’ve made some 100 bracelets now. I have sent 30 to Jakarta last week and will send more tomorrow. My manager-friend asked. My creation is getting funkier because my idea developed and also of the material I bought recently. Now I know what shape and color that can make a bracelet looks different.

I’m so hot about making bracelets that got me thinking how long it will last. I should not think about it but I can’t help it. I’m a person who likes to do things to the maximum then stop. Can be a temporary stop or for good. Anyway, I will enjoy it till it lasts.

It’s already late now. I need to feel free… not being aligned.

Pictures of bracelets among many.

What’s your plan for the next five years?

Ah uh. Like answering How are you now?, I often found difficulties in describing my feeling. I’m fine is a standard answer but I want to be more precise. But how to tell between not so excited but not low either? Anyway, I was blab blab blab when my friend asked me over brunch we had in a cafe near Neru. She drove up to Ubud from Sanur to accompany her foster daughter to rehearse a play near my shop.

I just knew this lady a couple months ago. We hardly had time to be together. We travel a lot and yea… we simply didn’t spare time. So it’s nice that she did impromptu visit to Ubud that she let me know only two hours before. This lady has done a lot in her life. She has lots of idea so it’s easy for her to plan ahead her five years. "I want to be back to French class I’d been taking five years, I want to focus on do painting again, I will continue singing course, I’m going to write a series of Book of Questions, I will start doing pilates again, I plan to travel more with my husband, I want to form a group of women over 40s…" Are you in? She asked me for the latter. Eh eh… yaa…

It's her great idea about forming a group for women over 40s. The purpose of the group is to support each other or in other words to kick each other to realize their ideas. She found out that many women have great ideas but lack of supporter back home so many ideas evaporate before materialized. Sounds familiar! To join the group, the members have to meet certain requirements those are… able to listen and encourage. Rrr… some women have difficulties in that department. So we had a good laugh!

My list I shared with her was short. Very. I left many aspects of life in the dark since I prefer not to put them in my plan today. She said I should do so I can focus. Uh ah… yaa. I shrank just thinking about it. I told her that I don’t want to be rigid with my life since I want to practice more of 'go with the flow.' But I could see her point and I’m happy to have listened what she had in mind for the next five years today. I believe she will reach over 80 with such attitude, like her Mom.

I’m happy with my day and afternoon. I made more bracelets after the meeting. Like trance, it’s unstoppable especially after I work on better and funkier stones. It’s me! Now what’s my plan for tonight? I better do five-hour plan at a time.

My dear friend I met on my way this morning. I can’t help admiring her! Another great lady.

Happiness is an attitude.

My friend read out loud a text written on the pavement in Jalan Kajeng. A well-known road in Ubud. We just finished one round walking from near Campuhan bridge, in rice field, and along a creek leads to Ubud downtown. We made a breakfast stop in an organic farm resto, my favorite. My friend in Denpasar got a friend from Jakarta visiting and they stayed in Ubud since yesterday.

I didn’t plan to join their program but the timing was always good that we could meet and spend some times together. We heavily shopped in the market yesterday. I took them to my favorite Ibu in the market. I bought some gifts for loved ones. It’s been long I didn’t send anything to my girls in Jakarta. I also bought some stuff for myself – hardly got enough.

It’s Friday again. I made time to rush buying material for bracelet before lunch. I don’t like sitting and doing nothing this weekend. Two friends have pushed me to send more bracelets that they expected I could send on Monday. It’s a challenge! It’s like a snowball now after I launched my bracelet creation last week. Only a week ago? I’m happy that time just passes. This coming week is… mid month already.

I look forward to having another busy week.

Majapahit brick in Pallava.

Oh I feel guilty for having a good life!

We were in the mood of giggling. My friend and I giggled a lot over Japanese dinner this evening. We just did our first evening class at the yoga studio. It’s not a yoga class but pranayama (the art of breathing) followed by a brief meditation. The timing is perfect. It’s twilight and full moon eclipse this evening. Oh so romantic! I enjoyed it every second.

I stayed home on the day working on brief descriptions for Neru page. My sister thought it’s a lot of work but I take it as a fun thing to do. Googling, digging out picture files, and composing. Like my neighbor friend said ‘the art of making a lot of information concise.’ I enjoyed reading because I also need the information to broaden my knowledge about Indonesia. Anyway, I have collected several descriptions along with nice pictures ready to be published one each week.

The hardest part of the process is… found my favorite pieces’ pictures that have been sold in the past. It seized my breath. I like to do things I like (working with art in this regard) but it’s also painful to be in such situation when I have to let go pieces I really like. My neighbor friend once taught me how to detach the feeling from pieces I like. He is good in doing that now and I have learned it all my business life now but am not there yet. Good old pieces only come once! How can we live without quality arts around? It’s so hard!

So yes, I enjoyed my day and evening very much. There are days when I could find a way to balance my day. Today is one of the rare.

One of my favorites from Bali.

Don’t you do padmasana?

My yoga teacher asked me loudly. She asked because she knew I could do. I could not recall which posture and she didn’t show it so I could not copy. I was so slow because I was hungry. I haven’t been in the rut yet: arrange what to take before yoga. I felt tired in and out after the class.

Yesterday my friend offered to take my bike to her husband’s bike studio. I didn’t feel like doing it because I wanted to save my day after yoga to do more things I need to do. Since I had lunch with her then dropped her off in her house, I took the bike with me. In the end, I spent 6 solid hours away from home. Another day has passed. Ya, but you should appreciate our time together for the first time and now you have your bike in good hands! My friend reminded me when I sighed about how a day gone by. It gave me that feeling.

She is right! I was just complaining about my days. Like people who have capital earn more easier than who don’t, people who are stronger get more supporter. That’s my observation about myself. When I feel weak emotionally, I scare people away. Good my friend stayed with me during these full moon days.

Now I blame it on the full moon again since I feel weak emotionally and didn’t have enough time to do many!

Two cicak engaged in a tug-o’-war in my bedroom long time ago.

C u there.. In red.

My neighbor friend invited me to join dinner. I was ‘chosen’ to accompany him this evening. Unlike before, now he’s the one who chooses his company. He used to dedicate his time for others for years. Now it’s his turn. I don’t mind to be ‘chosen.’ He also knows that I could say no if I don’t feel like. Nice understanding.

It’s early month with the usual busyness around bookkeeping. Like my friend, I also felt “I like to have my books balanced as all boring accountants do.” but… I realized I have some accounts to do: business, my life, and Malang life that I used to skip one or two to do in other month. Not a good idea! I always thought that my life is pretty simple but why don’t I have enough time to do things I need and like to do?

I’m pretty occupied by making bracelets these days. That’s one thing I like to do. I call it ‘retreat for the mind.’ All artists know how it feels. It’s addictive! It’s dangerous for me since I still have some items that need my attention and some other items I like to do. I don’t have time to read except a weekly magazine to catch up with what happen in the world. I have to make time for yoga and do other exercise. Doing household chores, socializing, shopping, looking after two shops, spending time with visiting friends…

I think my life was simpler when I was working in office although we didn’t have internet banking that time. Those days I had to stand in bank queue in this time of the month with a stack of forms to pay bills and else. But still… I feel easier to manage my time. Why? I didn’t do bookkeeping, I didn’t create things excessively, I didn’t have many extra time and energy to mingle with friends after office, simply… I didn’t have energy left after office.

Now I have lots of energy. I want to do this and that. So ambitious and in the end I could not finish this and that. Looking at both extremes? I prefer my life now. Bit messy but I have variety.

All green in bonsai exhibition.

I missed you dear but there was also good…

My good friend in Ubud just arrived from spending summer in her hometown in Switzerland for five weeks. She really wished I could come with her next year. Picking up strawberries!! But she also did trekking in France. I might skip the latter. Anyway, it’s just nice to have her around again.

It’s nice Sunday that I prefer to stay in. It’s Sarasvati Day yesterday. A day to respect goddess of knowledge and also mother of all. Balinese looked busy on the day. They flocked in the temple and out so the traffic was busier than usual. It’s once a year celebration so it’s rather big.

I did something I never did before again! I attended a Toastmasters meeting as guest! I’ve been invited to ‘have a look’ a few times that this time I took it as a kick to broaden my knowledge. It’s an interesting forum for self-development. We are encouraged to be more open and spontaneous by doing public speech or speak before an audience. It is believed that people who speak well (be able to open up?) before others can do better in life. Hm.

A new member is given a what they call manual with some ten assignments to do in his/her own pace. The assignments cover personal assignments like making speech also do secretarial/organizing works in the organization. So all aspects of skills are developed. It’s interesting but… what a commitment! They meet 1.5 hour every other week. Sounds fine but I need time to consider. For me is more than 1.5 hour because of driving to and from Ubud. Yes, it’s in Sanur. Actually it’s good that many happenings are in Sanur instead of in the city of Denpasar. But hm… become a member is a lifetime commitment. Of course, it’s not that stiff because we are allowed to ‘skip’ meetings too unlike attending a course.

It’s good to know that I have something to start because I can write. For some people, if not many, making a speech needs making a note meaning one needs to be able to write. And some others are good speakers that they can talk about something without preparation but this also needs an art because we cannot just talk. They time it! Practice is the key.

So it’s nice to experience something new then continued by a nice chat with a good friend over naan and dhal. It’s nice to catch-up and later sell necklaces as well. She selected from the pictures I sent out and saw the necklaces when we met. She also likes my bracelet! I need to introduce my bracelet creation to know the market.

I ended the day very nicely. I had 'reunion' with my good friend and her husband in the evening. We had early dinner then went watching a Chinese-American singer – the kirtankar the other day – sang in another noted yoga studio. She played with four other musicians that she called it ‘international band’ since they come from different countries. They played in jam.

It was a very nice evening with audience mostly people who use the studio. It’s just nice to be among people with nice bodies and good to know that yoga is proven good for body shape. We enjoyed the music but later we really had to enjoy nice bodies around us because some had started dancing. And suddenly, we could not sit anymore since too many people on the dance floor or the floor where we sat! We got up and joined the dance. It went quite crazy for the last half hour. It’s been long I didn’t dance crazy. It was super good! We laughed a lot.

Bali is winter but we sweated heavily. It was really good…

Sunny morning in bed. My usual Sunday.