PMS / FM ?

I felt ‘bad’ since yesterday. I was over reacted. I reacted too quickly. I sounded strong (not upset). It’s good that I didn’t feel low but I observed myself why I was sensitive. I felt alarmed after sending a few emails with strong views. Auch! I should have been thinking longer – like I used to.

I asked Rad whether it’s full moon these days. She was not sure but my feeling said so… Like Rad, now I observe moon phases to observe my feeling and.. behaviour :-) Just now I found online lunar calendar, I don’t need to check with Rad anymore. I will let her know from now on..

I still suffered headache since last night. I was not surprised that it’s still on in the morning. That happens when I have bad headache that makes my head really aching. I remembered I forgot to take pills to elevate my low blood pressure. Grr..

Now. It’s PMS / FM ? I’m watching my reaction today. Sometimes I had to bit my tongue or hold my thumb from sending text messages. I gave any reaction a thorough thought. When I forgot to react, that’s the best..

I agreed to meet BSW at PS mall to help him selecting gift for his colleague. I combined the trip with grocery shopping in a hypermarket nearby. It’s a perfect date to do, no one in the shop.

I had nice chat with BSW. Now he’s interested in creative writing course for writing project proposal. He also plans to take academic writing course a few months in Adelaide before starting PhD. I told him to take online course so he could stay in Indonesia longer before school starts. He laughed at my idea to do the course assignment in café with wi-fi while having coffee with me. Yaa, why not? Now he’s thinking..

I got home after 16:00. I managed to stay calm. My headache gradually disappeared too…

Photo of snake-skin fruit I bought today.

Warm Arty Day

My Jakarta life is back. I have started doing household chores since last night: laundry, cleaning, tidying,.. I had short morning but productive because I started quite early. I even had yoga before 7:00 which I rarely did. It was so good. I did it hard plus weight lifting. I feel that I didn’t do enough in Bali. My body had warned me, it was aching and stiff.

I wore my sarong the Indian way to an art talk by PED. We planned the talk last week when we visited a private museum. PED has extensive knowledge about Indian paintings. He was posted in India before moved to Indonesia five years ago. And it’s his birthday too. We sang birthday song in Indonesian, then English. He cut chocolate fudge cake; two other nice cakes also looked inviting. The nine ladies had all three rich cakes. I thought I could not have lunch. I felt full…

We had to start the talk immediately because PED had to be in office at 11:00. So little time. He started the talk about different style of Indian paintings. He showed us some paintings from his collection. The couple has promoted at least two unknown Indian painters. One they met when they looked for help in flooded area in India. PED recalled the day he met the artist. He was painting in front of his small house where wife, kids, in laws, rooster, and dog lived. That was his life but PED thinks he was the happiest person he ever met because he does what he likes to do. Painting is not his main job, he works in factory. PED managed to bring his painting to the world. Now his works have been exhibited in London, New York, and Paris.

The other painter is an art teacher. It’s same poor artist living in one small house with all. He liked to paint on cigarette or match box before PED asked him to paint in bigger format. His painting was super too. I loved the theme – dark skinned Indian wearing traditional accessories – very India and very Hindu.

SUS and PED thought about selling some of their collection because they will not be able to take home all. We were uh and ah because they have nice collection of many interesting arts. Lots of little art with history they brought from India and countries they visited. SUS has an art shop in her country but still they have to get rid some of their possession.

PED said that living as diplomat is not easy because they live in two worlds. It shows on the way they decorate the residence. They put art from their country and Indonesia in formal area in front and art of their interest in their private area in the back which is mostly from India and Indonesia. PED will retire after Indonesia post and enter a big house in his country but not as big as his residence now. Their Kamoro (Papua) sculpture collection will be donated to a museum in his country. They don’t have place for the collection but would like to be able to see it anytime. What an idea to donate to a museum!!

But who can stop one from talking about things (s)he is fond of? Once we pass the warm-up stage, we can talk on and on. When PED ended the talk, it was already 12:30. We were all happy though. It was a really nice talk. It's so nice of him to spare his time to share his knowledge with us. He should do more with larger audience. I guess he would do again when he ‘let go’ part of his collection before leaves Indonesia :-)

PEN and I had light lunch later. We talked about lousy auction in an auctioneer. I could not believe that people could do things unprofessionally. What a pity because actually the concept is good, only the conduct is messy. This is part of the challenge to do business. Looking around is not enough without an open mind to learn.

My arty day was not over after the long morning. NIE and JEA have their artworks displayed in an exhibition for charity. The exhibition was opened by their ambassador. It’s annual event involving 16 artists from some countries.

The house where the art are displayed was already full when I came. I met many friends, old and new, also friend artists who have their works displayed. I meet friends I don’t meet every day in such occasion. I laughed a lot, friends bring different point of art views, that a nice thing to share. Some works are really brilliant that initiated us to discuss more about the concept. An Indonesian senior artist pick lesbian-theme for his latest work. He created bronze sculptures and paintings with two nude ladies. It's interesting, it ignited naughty comments.

I was a bit headache and laughing made it worse. It seemed that I didn’t have enough liquid, I realized later. I was among the latest to go out. I made my way out silently because everyone I know was still busy with friends. It was a nice arty day!

Photo of birthday PED.

Squeeze to Last Minute

I got up fresh this morning. I got the right formula to control the aircon (it always happened in the last night grrr..) It was raining constantly since I got up. It was not heavy but didn’t stop either.

Ya, I let myself a bit wet then. I was in motor bike with Ngurah to meet MW for our ritual farewell breakfast at Indus. I was a bit late, I made stone bracelet for him before finished packing and when I got his text message Lapaaarrr I ran like Speedy Gonzalez.

We had quiet breakfast. No more talk about relationship but he asked me interesting question about whether I wear diamonds occasionally. I forgot that such jewelry exists. I told him that diamond is too much for ‘rich’ me. He agreed. We both have strong character that we need no more ‘decoration’.

Today I felt really sleepy once in awhile. I dozed in car on the way to airport although for a few minutes only (I was sure it was only a few minutes because I checked time), later when plane took off.. I dozed again for a few minutes but really deep, also in car back home. I felt tired. Good, all were in time today.

Arriving Jakarta is like opening an oven. Whooosh.. PEN asked how to get massager for Tin’s daughters. NIE asked what to bring to PED’s birthday tomorrow. Ato asked the price of beaded pandan leaf box. At home, Chiko looked at me suspiciously. He forgot boo hoo…

My productive holiday has been over. I have tons of things to do to follow up – to make it happen.

Photo of wet view at Indus.

“New” (Old) Friends

I was awoken by heavy rain. It was still 5:00 when I realized that my day could be ruined by rain. Rain stopped before morning ended although a bit cloudy still. I just hoped sun would shine later. It did. It was hot all day since I left hotel around 9:45. I had appointment with JG and RG to walk in forest off Ubud.

I know JG and RG for awhile now but hardly bond well but today I feel like I found new friends in them. I talked about yoga with JG that later he suggested me to build a yoga studio a la India in Ubud. I laughed but later.. I started to calculate. He’s right. It must be interesting to have a small place for yoga studio later.

RG came up with idea to make jewelry for men in Europe. It’s a nice idea but I need time to study the design because I’m not familiar with what men like to wear, or to be precise, I don’t find what’s available in market interesting enough. I want to create something different. I will follow up his idea to create another business. I might also make use of his pearl farm in Lombok to create new line for my market. We could develop something enjoyable to do and at the end also puts something into our pocket – that's the way he described the idea :-) Very true.

My outing with them was nice. We saw nice view along the way. Ubud was hot then, I felt like being baked in car. MW had waited me in his shop when I came. We had quick lunch and went downtown shopping. It’s MW’s fashion shopping day. We had planned it yesterday to do the trip. I took him to several silver and bead shops. He is Ubud resident but needs me to show him around ha ha. He liked to call me Master of Shopping although I didn’t buy anything this time – only a nice silver dragon pendant :-)

He enjoyed my company so much that he didn’t let me go an inch from him. He ended up buying three silver pendants with leather string (that I tried hard to convince that he looks good wearing those) and several bead bracelets of his choice which I’m not too enthusiastic. That’s okay, we made peace today. I befriended with him from different angle today like having a new friend again. Different than yesterday. It’s so good to have discovered “new” (old) friends today.

I ended the day with Mbok Yan again. She did facial and pedicure. She worked over time :-) I’m going to spend my last night in Ubud designing silver for pendant combined with stone. I know someone who could take order. I realized that actually I got new contacts almost everyday meaning I got new friends everyday too!!

Photo of interesting palm tree in forest we visited today.

Life Option

I slept surprisingly good last night. When I woke up, sun had already shining. Wow! In Seminyak where I stayed with Tin, I got up when outside was still dark. Tin laughed out loud in the second morning when she found me in computer in the dark because I was in same position when she went to sleep; like I didn’t sleep all night. So funny..

What a nice morning. I tidied my necklaces, putting them in separate Ziploc plastic while enjoying each one. Ehm.. Altogether is heavy but I must carry myself. I figure out later…

Ngurah picked me up before my appointment with MW. I spent time in Pasar Ubud buying more sokasi (pandan box) for gift. It’s light and arty, I love it. I also went to see Ibu who sells spices to check what she had. Pasar looked alive today because of many tourists. Very nice.

I met MW on time. He just got up from short nap. He took early nap as he knew he could not have nap when I'm around. We had lunch in our restaurant nearby. Weather was sticky, a bit hot, and not so windy. We sat by the paddy field. What a luxury!

MW looked good. Happy and healthy. He just broke up with his two-year boyfriend two weeks ago and got a new close friend the next day. He’s so quick. I like the way he draws line with his ex although I know he was very in love with him. It’s still fresh in my memory when he told me his bubbly love story when I met him in January.

We talked more about life we choose. MW and I have chosen to ‘retire’ very early, when we were about 35 years old. Very brave decision we say. Five years now since I knew him, he is a successful businessman. He is good in business. We are not there yet but so far we are happy with path we have chosen. We are happy in our scale. Flipping magazine by paddy field on Monday afternoon?

I was not in my super mood today. I needed my own time more although MW is always fun to be with. I cut short our meeting. We promised to meet again tomorrow afternoon to shop for accessories. He has appointed me as his fashion stylist. I am more than happy to assist him. He is more fashionable today… New love?

It was still early when I went back to hotel. I needed Mbok Wayan to massage me. My body was aching stiff (of too much walking with Tin?). I felt much better after the session and now am ready to work on my new business again…

Photo of view MW and I shared this afternoon.

B u B B l y

Sunday, March 25

Tin and I talked a lot about how people cheat others to take advantage since morning. She just experienced being ripped off by her close friends. She knows that somehow this couple is of such type but this time she feels that it’s too much. So I feel! So we talked a lot about ‘rip off business’ including the art of doing business without ripping off clients.

Last night I decided to start a business in chunky accessories. Accessories for American and European. Actually, it’s not only for that market because I also wear such style. I might have to categorize it in “accessories for arty personality”. I recalled my meeting with persons wearing ‘interesting’ eye catching accessories, it always connects me with interesting people with colorful life. That’s my market.

And it’s good, once I decide to enter a business of any kind, my eyes is open wide that I could see how people make money in the business. I have been in business almost a decade, still I’m ‘naïve’ in business I don’t do. Like I don’t have idea how things work. I think it’s natural that I don’t know the animal because I’m not there yet.

Showing Tin my fine accessories, we had a good laugh realizing how I was ripped off. I was not in the business, how would I know? And why should I know? I appreciate their art though. But it gives me lesson to do better, I won’t have price that hits ceiling that stops me a bit from selling more. I’d love to share my art and keep my friends in Bali working. That’s my general idea about pricing my stuffs.

I was bubbly with the idea so after our short break, we hit street again last night. We returned to the stone shop again and studied what’s available to create. We had nice time. The girls pushed us to stay and make some more which of course we had no energy left to think. It’s a nice gesture anyway.

We were in the shop quite early today, 9:45. So happy. My favorite girl was there and ready to help, the others in yesterday’s shift would be in afternoon shift. Anyway, we started right away. I was quick the first an hour. The idea was flowing. I had to slow down the next two hours. Komang had already a lot of work queuing from my active mind. Tin had gone shopping by then.

The last two hours of five hours, Tin made two necklaces herself. She redid hers and made another one. I adore her patience. Tin is super busy home-maker. She does everything from financial to hard gardening back home in Washington. Her time with me is her total holiday that she appreciates every single second because it’s very luxurious to have her own time. Again, I feel like a lazy girl, not doing enough.

My battery was running low in that last two hours, I was not too hungry but felt drain of squeezing ideas. It’s me, I want to finish anything in short time. Very short attention span. But I was not bad. In the end of five hours, we finished 16 necklaces and 10 cute bracelets. We had a good time. I realized that we were all standing all day. We hardly sat down, only seconds, not even minutes.

We thanked everybody and had lunch. My favorite place nearby. Nice lunch. I offered Tin destinations of her choice, Kuta area. It was heavy cloudy but good it was not raining. We went street shopping. Junk shopping we like. Tin is good at bargaining and she’s not really happy with how I did. I liked to bargain half price; she did 30% and got better price in the end of course. Again, I didn’t have the patience to haggle a few thousands.

We ended the trip with nice dinner in a modern Australian restaurant. Tin had several fat plastic bags in both hands. I had new shocking pink shopping bag which was super fat too (with PEN’s two chunky rubber sandals). We were so tired back to hotel where Steph, Tin’s other girl, had arrived from Jakarta. I made my way out quickly. I arrived in Ubud 22:15 after an hour of being shaken in Kijang car. I always enjoy being fast driven although at the same time it breaks my bones.

I look forward to having a good short time in Ubud from now on. I had some interesting agenda to do these two days. My bubbly mind has not ended yet..

Photo of my early creation.

You design, we make

That’s the motto of semi-precious stone shop we visited for four hours today. Tin and I started quite early. We didn’t have the luxury to have long breakfast because the buffet was very disappointing. Only small range of fruits, few choice of bread, no bubur ayam, no egg corner (later we knew that we had to order from kitchen). Aaarrgh…

UC (literally You See) was the first shop we went. I was not interested in shopping because I know I still have a lot of undone material at home. No more. Of course with Tin around I have to kill time or I would be sitting ‘useless’. I started with one design. The shop was just opened, the girls were there doing nothing. I selected one strand of stone and asked them to make one for PEN. That’s enough.

But hey.. they also have silver beads. I started another design. Another one. Another one. Bracelet and necklace. A Malaysian lady was there when I was in the middle of my creation. She copied one, Tin copied one. And I created more. I stopped after six necklaces. No more. I hid mine quickly as two New Yorker (or I thought so) ladies started to ask for the same stone ha ha.. No copyright meaning they have right to copy…

The last two necklaces are strangely asymmetrical, very me, very different than the first one. Komang who helped me translating my idea into a creation was getting crazier. She’s able to adopt my craziness! She’s smart and fast learner. I liked her very much.

We moved to next shop selling cheapy necklaces for a change. Tin picked some for her girls. Not long, we moved to second UC shop in the opposite. I fell in like with one purplish mocca stone, so elegantly strange! Tin was busy selecting hooks and chains by then. Komang was there too! She became my victim again. I made her sitting to make more complicated design using the stone I like. Tin was waiting for me when started to create a bracelet, I waited for her and started another creation,.. We ended our four hours in the two shops there. Tin walked out the shop like monkey, heavy bags in both hands. We had nice lunch at 14:00.

The next shop was for material to make jewelry. We were too tired to create by then. Tin only selected basics: elastics, wire, threads, some hooks,… And half an hour later she said that her battery was running empty. She needed short nap so we returned to hotel :-)

We had long night last night with Cata, Tin’s girl, before she joined her six girlfriends in a villa nearby. Then Tin and I chatted in the foyer long time before sleep. Tonight we plan to hit street again to hunt for more stone. We just calculated what we need and weighed the stuffs also. Hmm.. I must say, I’m bubbly excited now. Only in Bali…

Photo of Tin and the girls at UC after long hours together.

Bali Kembali

Tin called me two days ago. Hey girl, I just found out that I would be by myself in Bali from Friday to Sunday. So? Ah okay, I can combine the trip with something else in Ubud. Perfect, but ticket was not easy to get because of spring break holiday this week and next. Many international school students in Asia got together in Bali, like Tin’s two daughters who would come with Tin but be gone to different places from airport with their friends. I got budget airline ticket four hours before Tin’s arrival. That’s fine.

I forgot the last time I flew Lion Air. Nice terminal with two new lounges but not accessible for me because I don’t have the card (not popular ones). The alley has aircon now, or since long I don’t know. The lounge at the gate was super cold with newly installed aircon. Hm. I was chilled but continued reading my new book The Time Traveller’s Wife by Audrey Niffenegger. Book lovers must know this book. Interesting book that stirs our mind clock.

The cabin was nice but.. quiet. I was not sure whether everybody was praying or else. I followed a new way of sending text message to loved ones before boarding; sharing flight details plus the seat number. This is a new ritual since missing airplane in Manado early year and burned airplane in Yogya recently when identifying victims was not easy. Having seat number info makes family / loved ones have clue about their loved one on board :-)

Actually the engine was quiet all the way. It calmed me and at the same time it made me think that the engine was out. I read all the way. I was hungry and hoping they gave a box of snack like my budget airline to Malang. When the flight attendants distributed mineral water, still I thought the snack box came later. It seems I have to keep my hope for ever..

Bali was raining hard when I arrived. It was fun. I enjoyed light shower while walking to taxi pool, then heavier shower, then… heavy rain that I had to run to nearest shelter. It was fun but I got all wet so my bags. Grr..

I dropped off my bags and went to Warung Made in Seminyak to have something to eat. I wasn’t hungry so didn’t have big meal. I sent a lot of text messages to friends I left behind and in Ubud. I still had some unfinished issues with some persons because of my sudden trip plan. All went perfectly so far. Timing is perfect. It’s weekend. So nice.

I don’t know what we are going to do this evening. It’s still wet out there. I wait for Tin to arrive and decide. She has another long list of what to buy and see. I save it for tomorrow. I have my shopping gear with me :-)

Photo of heavy rain at Warung Made Seminyak.

Fake Getaway

SUS had come up with this great idea since three weeks ago. She organized a tour of private art museum owned by a travel-business tycoon in West Jakarta. It’s available for 26 persons and members of the art group got priority to get seats. It was reasonably expensive for lunch plus talk on South East Asian art by an expert from a well-known auctioneer.

PEN and I got a ride from PEG who lives near PEN’s house. Traffic was good that we got the place less than half an hour. Three of us were busy uh and ah when entering the compound. It’s a very luxurious compound where houses look like palace. Huge and wow! We were busy looking at our right and left to enjoy the fenceless houses that don’t exist in our areas.

Some ladies had arrived at the museum when we got there. The entrance is small; it leads to a long swimming pool that looked so inviting. The building is minimalist like villas in Bali. It’s definitely Bali atmosphere except the two apartment towers as ‘backdrop’. It looks odd and disturbs the whole beauty if we don’t keep our eyes at low level (see the photo).

Anyway, it’s good to see friends I didn’t see often. SUS and PED looked good. PED looked easy among 23 ladies as he was the only male around. I chatted and decided to start an easy tour by myself. JEA was with me to do the first level and later NIE joined to finish three levels. They are both artists so it’s nice to learn about paintings from technical side. As artists, they analyzed the paintings from many sides; the technique, the object angle, the good/bad sides,..

Today the museum displayed paintings for the auction, it’s like preview, and the lady who took us around talking about general mechanism to select arts from market to be put in an auction. Again I learn about the reason why not many good paintings around anymore lately. It’s about being too commercial that makes the quality goes down. Artists enjoy catering walk-in buyers that induce them to work for quantity, not for quality. If a gallery promotes them; they have to work for quality. That’s time consuming (inspiration and technique factors). Who don’t want instant money?

The other thing about art I learn today is artist's style. I always have questions about the issue in mind. Keeping a style over years is good; it shows consistency and its progress could be ‘measured’ but… Who wants to see same thing over years? Meanwhile.. keep changing style, we call it being creative, is not a great idea either. Many would think that the artist hasn’t decided yet her/his style because the artworks keep changing style. To keep artworks with a bit of continuing element over a length of time is not easy either. So complicated. To have boring, or no-style artworks??

As I had predicted, lunch was started after the talk. I was a bit starving, it’s good that PEN shared me biscuits before we left. I didn’t expect who were going to sit next to me but my new friend MIA asked me to sit by her. Hm. And when EDI took the other side, HEL in opposite, it became perfect.

MIA asked a lot about me; what I do, what else I do, what I’m going to do,.. She liked my blu tail (she’s not alone) and thought that I’m Indonesian in different package. Yesterday Tin’s friend thought I’m a Malaysian. It seemed that wearing batik didn’t really help me to look like a genuine Indonesian :-)

Food was super good. We had a huge slice of quiche that tasted perfect but I was careful not to finish because it must be starter. Salmon for the main course was super! The spinach and potato that went with the soft salmon were aaargghh.. Again, I was very careful because dessert must be good. It’s chocolate fudge a la mode. Skip dinner, plus an hour swimming before dark, that’s what the ladies told me.

It was a very nice afternoon. We planned our next week program while walking out. PED has agreed to talk about Indian art earlier but hasn’t decided on the day. SUS pushed him to do on Wednesday but I had a better idea as PED’s birthday is on Thursday. He could not promise SUS a free Wednesday but liked my idea to have a talk on his birthday. Yay! Now I look forward to listening to PED's talk on his birthday if he manages to free himself from busy life as ambassador.

Unlimited Shopping

You abandoned us yesterday, you go with us today! Tin said. I had planned to go with them wherever anyway so I had no problem. Also, I was curious to visit this famous pearl shop in West Jakarta. It’s legendary since 1980 (mungkin) but I never went.

It’s in a living room of a house in a housing complex. It must be a busy place because it has lots of chair with soft seat for ‘matured’ Ibu to rest :-) Pearls were all over tables in neat velvet trays, so the semi-precious stones. There were three girls helping us to make necklace of material we chose. It’s fantastic although they worked quite slowly.

I realized more that, in any business, big stock is an attraction. I always thought of the concept that to have better business, especially in jewelry, we need to have big stock: materials and ready made. Girls like to go gaga seeing huge range of selection.. of anything. I think we like the selecting and the creating more than the having itself. Therefore, a shop that can entertain the process would likely attract more people to come. Only few people that have good eyes can be happy with limited selection. Now my theory is confirmed.

Of course it’s another Tin’s shopping trip. She selected lots of colorful pearls for her girls and some classic styles for gifts. PEN and I were busy helping her choosing pearls for herself. We sat and munched candies while commenting her selection. I held myself from looking around. Too many nice things that I know I would not wear.

Two and a half hour was enough. Shopping with good girlfriends is always nice. We could not help ourselves to not buy ‘uniform’. Rad and I have some uniform clothes and today three of us shared same greenish irregular pearls PEN chose for necklace. PEN and I preferred to have choker and give the rest of strand to Tin who liked long necklace. It’s perfect. We are all happy with our necklace. I could not help not making picture of us especially because PEN and I happened to wear same color combination - black top and red.

We had Malay cuisine for lunch with Tin’s daughter, Cata, and Tin’s friends. It was a nice meal, we really enjoyed. We stopped by PS mall on the way back to browse M sale and eat rujak PEN wanted since morning. Today we had no time for coffee. I yawned all the way home while other girls dozed in car. Girls have limit too :-)

Photo of us after lunch.

Sharing is Everything

My new habit. Stay longer in bed. What day is it today? It felt like Wednesday. I got up. Felt warmly nice to start a new day.

I called PEN to find out today’s program. I decided to be absent again. Tin and PEN were going to visit friends I don’t know well so I better saved the day for myself. But I needed to do errands so I called Rad but she’s engaged till next month (read: two weeks from now). I decided to stay home and challenge myself to end my procrastination of tidying my business administration.

But then... I spent time with Pien online chatting. My next blog victim. I shared with her my blog a few weeks ago after her several questions about what I do recently. I always have problem in explaining what I do since I don’t work in office almost ten years. I don’t have ‘pattern’ to tell but I don’t stay home all the time either. The best way to answer the question then.. read my blog.

Pien enjoys my blog very much. She finds different angles of me. Angles she never knew before or found ‘new’ after she reconnected with my new rhythm. And the good news is.. my blog has inspired her to write! I could understand if she wants to write because she likes to read very much. And later, she wants to attend Ubud Festival this year. Yay!

To cut long story short, I pushed her to sign up a blog-account. She agreed and we had discussion to select cute name for her blog title. I gave her ideas but she came up with a real cute title that rhymes with her name. I asked her to let the title ‘settles’ down tonight before deciding. I’m glad, another friend will have a blog meaning more friend... writes!!! It’s so wonderful to share the joy of writing.

I ended up spending my daylight communicating with people I care. I helped Pien to realize her blog. I talked to Rini over phone when she also shared her sleep dream. I helped out Ardy in KL with her travel arrangement. I helped Mama to ease her recent issue (not ‘problem’). There are times when my ideas become useful for others :-)

But my business administration is still there waiting..

Photo of my legs taken by Dumbo on my birthday.

Creative Pool

When we renew our membership at the H, we are asked if interested in volunteering in any of H activities. Typical me, I never filled out the form. Not that I don’t like to help but I’m not able to commit. Today I found my name in H’s Creative Pool. Pool of many interests that are useful to the organization: writing, attending library, publishing, proof reading, drawing, doing administration, translating,…

I might be included in the list after helping some Museum Nasional book projects. H will publish some new booklets on Jakarta and Indonesia, also revise some past publications. It’s going to be an interesting project I can help from home. I plan to stop joining art study group next year and involve more in Museum activities, or join other study group. Sad to realize that art study group I’ve been member five years is dying. The ‘core’ members have started to shrink in number. Of about 15 active members, we only have 4 now, and it’s hard to run an active group with only 4 active and some 6 less active participants. No spirit, no energy. It’s time to move on.. Bali trip in May would be my farewell trip.

I’m a bit idle today. I enjoyed my bed longer and planned nothing for the day. Tin and PEN didn’t update me their program until later. I’m not interested in joining another shopping trip to a wholesale market because I might go for same shopping with them tomorrow. Shopping becomes less interesting because I don’t shop. Why I don’t shop? I hardly need anything more.

I finished archiving my 2006 blog-posts and was too lazy to continue to the first two months of 2007. I watched Super Size Me SIM lent me and was overwhelmed by the reality how junk foods could really put people in weight trouble. Now I’m glad that I don’t have such appetite to eat.

Now what? I don’t feel like going out…

Photo of an artwork at SAM’s exhibition in June 2006.

Tin shops till we drop

Tin, my dear good friend lives in Washington, arrived in Jakarta last midnight. She had booked me since two months to spend time with her while she’s around. It was still early when she called this morning. Ah yaa.. I had to get PEN’s house, where she stays, as early as possible :-)

We had lunch in a Vietnamese restaurant. It was a non-stop chat about many things. Catch up. Time flies. It’s been three years since Tin left Jakarta. We could not believe that we didn’t meet last year. She used to come over twice a year with the kids because they still consider Jakarta their home – only after seven years living here. The eldest would definitely be back to Asia after finishes university.

Tin has long list of what to buy and eat, and who to meet. She shared us the list so we know and could plan for her. She only has five days in Jakarta, five in Bali, and seven in Perth to see her aged father. She likes to stock up things she likes so that’s what she’s going to do while she’s here. She also likes to stock up presents that makes shopping the main activity.

We started up in a rejected shop (factory outlet) to buy clothing for the three young-adult girls she has. She was excited to find many top US brands in the hangers that only cost one-tenth of price in the shop. She used to shop in the outlet when she was in Jakarta but still found clothing shopping surprising. I had fun browsing hangers but hardly found things I liked and fitted me. Or, to be precise, I avoided to liking. I have more than enough clothes. Too many.

We stopped by the new upmarket mall, SC, to show Tin how Jakarta has developed. We giggled a lot because we all felt like orang kampong showing a friend from urban area beautiful shops and lights in big city. Today we shared a lot about being Asian living in ‘other’ world. Tin is Burmese and she finds it strange to live in an upscale but non-cosmopolitan neighborhood in Washington where she’s the only non-white.

We got PEN’s house seven hours later. I was tired (of not shopping?) and wanted to go home soon. But who let me? SIM opened his drawer to offer me hundreds of DVD, even he played one about Asian wife in the US. That fitted today’s topic. We talked about the topic more while having dinner. They shared about doing DIY renovation in Washington and Australia, things that don’t exist in Indonesia because we have troops to do house work. If we have such troops, we won’t look like ‘imported maids’ from Asia :-)

I ended ten hours being with good friends around 22:00. It’s always nice to be with good friends but I also missed my solitude.

Photo of kerupuk in Indus, Ubud.

Dusty Sweaty Adventure

I stayed in bed two hours longer this morning. I was still bogged down by yesterday’s incident although many say it’s impossible to please everybody. It’s strange feeling at this age. I feel like there’s an unnecessary ‘competition’ in the air. Anyway, I would forget all about the issue from now on as my life is moving forward.

I was wanting to stay home but didn’t want to be drawn into the bad feeling again. I have to go out! I called Putri. She’s in Puncak. Aarggh.. Yungkie! She asked me to share ideas for gift-hampers she had to prepare for Nyepi ('meditation' day) yesterday. We both laughed. We never knew such gift exists :-) Nyepi will be observed by Balinese on Monday.

I’m interested in her idea to shop incense in Chinatown. The incense thing was my idea but buying in the ‘real’ place was her idea. We laid out plans and ended conversation quickly. It’s still early, she just finished preparing breakfast for her two young kids and I was still in bed ready to get up.

I got up with energy to know that I was going to have a nice adventure. I ironed some clean towels and tidied my top drawers. I felt lighter after tidying bedroom and getting Agus to mop the floor.

I thought I was late. I ran to catch Trans Jakarta bus from the Grand Hyatt bus-stop. I felt like being in movie, running to catch time to meet my lover. I giggled. The bus was amazing. It took me in no time to the last bus-stop in the center of Chinatown. Yungkie had waited for me with her wide smile. We giggled when I told her about meeting a lover.

We took bajaj (3-wheeled vehicle) to get the place. I enjoyed every inch of the ride. I saw Chinese business and old buildings from close! Yungkie was my tour guide. She lived in Chinatown since kid. She knows the area very well. I asked for lunch first then shopping so she took me to an old mall inside the area. Walking there was fun. I felt like orang kampong - feeling amazed too easily! I even asked her to stop and buy sugar cane juice. I could not resist the temptation. Ooh.. it was good and refreshing to beat the hot sun.

Candra mall was a nice place. Very Chinese, so the smell. Incense? I enjoyed every shop we passed; it had things I don’t see often. Yungkie took me to a food court inside the mall. It’s a real Chinese eating place. The atmosphere, the people, the busy feeling, the food,.. We had lo mien noodle (home made) and oyster omelet. The tea was super.

We didn’t have quick lunch. We enjoyed chatting like we were in a café. Only later we realized that we didn’t have enough time actually. We hit street again to stop by a crockery shop in an alley. It was closed. We went to the shop next door. I bought a nice drinking bottle for my next outdoor activities.

The incense shop was little but nice. The Engkoh (Chinese big brother) laughed a lot and was very helpful. The stuffs were badly organized but he knew where everything is, typical Chinese shop, told Yungkie. We spent long time selecting fragrances. I took time to study what’s available in the shop for future reference.

We had little time to catch the next stop, a designer ceramic shop back in town. I got off the Grand Hyatt again and Yungkie went on the next two stops to get the place. I bought us cappuccino and chai latte then got my car to pick her up. She found out that she had finished with her shopping so we ended up talking in car with our drinks. I learned about her moonlight business preparing gift-hampers for occasions/events. Her clienteles are friends, friends of friends, colleagues, and many. It's interesting to learn how people make themselves busy while earning.

I had a great time today. I’m happy now. An adventure is always refreshing although in real I was dusty sweaty. I wipe the dust, the fresh feeling stays :-)

Photo of view from bajaj seat and the incense shop.

"Say it again?"

I got a lesson today. An Indonesian Ibu, my friend in art group, called and asked me why I didn’t ‘treat’ her nicely when we had lunch. Aaarrrggh.. It took me sometime to recall the ‘scene’. I apologized for not realizing and asked her how she wanted me to treat her. She beat about the bush but the message was clear: She demanded me to pay more attention to her. You are much younger than me. I am 64 and have grown up grand-kids. Okaaay?

This Ibu called NIE to get ‘support’ before she called me. NIE was nice to tell her to take easy. PEN was quite upset. This Ibu seldom came to art group meetings so she felt left out. It’s us when together; we liked to talk, snap, and cut each other but no one felt offended.

Anyway, I was the right one to 'blame' because I was the youngest, Indonesian, and sat next to her.. perhaps. Whatever happened, I learn. I may have to ‘step back’ in such chatty crowd to be able to pay full attention to each one. That’s how MNE found me quiet compares to her and RIT. But still, I feel that I was not good enough in listening and paying more attention.

I reflect. Only this morning I told Dumbo that it seems we have problem in communication. We are two ‘aggressive’ girls with so many things in head. When we met, we were busy to get each other's attention till one had to be quiet. Conversation was stuck then ha ha. While Dumbo tries to control herself, I feel I don’t have hope for conveying my story. And that's not healthy communication :-)

It makes me studying my ‘successful’ experience with Rad and Yungkie, same bubbly 'aggressive' type. They are my few Indonesian girl friends that have good flowing conversation with me. Still I got no clue. We just had a ‘naturally’ nice time, no one felt offended or had to suppress a feeling. Now I don’t know. Communication is indeed an art.

Painting by Yang Shaobin.

Forgetful

Last night was strange. I got my mind blank, totally empty. I felt like zombie. I looked blankly at calendar realizing that this coming Monday is public holiday. The girls had talked during lunch about Nyepi in Bali but it seemed that the info didn’t get me well.

I don’t have plan for the long weekend but way too late now. I have promised Tin to hang out with her since two months ago. She comes from Washington late tomorrow and we will meet up on Sunday onwards till she leaves for Bali on Thursday. Holiday Monday should not be a big deal for me. I don’t work, any day is holiday.

Another scary thing was.. I didn’t remember that I have watched the movie I watched last night. I start watching DVD again almost every evening. Last night I chose Sweet November with Reeves and Theron. Watched the early scene, somehow I knew that I had watched but no clue what’s about. I went on.. and still no clue till end of the movie! The scenes looked familiar but I had nothing in mind about the story and how would be the end! That’s bad. A real forgetful girl!

Another hit before sleep was.. I was startled to realize that today is only Friday and I have art-group meeting at Galeri Nasional. I thought today was Saturday. I had planned my Saturday. Tell me what’s wrong with me?

Nothing is wrong. I arrived at Galeri Nasional at 10:15. No one was there. PEN laughed a lot.. You are not Indonesian. You should be jam karet (late)!! Ya ya ya.. Four other ladies came at the same time a bit later after I finished enjoying Yang Shaobin exhibition.

It’s a nice painting exhibition. He is Chinese and has unique style – blurry like out-of-focus picture. It’s fine blurry that we feel something is wrong with our eyes. The longer we see it, the strange it feels. Not super but uniquely nice for an autodidact. It’s been long I don’t see nice exhibition. I liked this one.

I was surprised to enter empty parking at PI mall. I thought I was lucky but it’s only 11:20.. of course. We had early lunch at BZ – a nice mirrored wall restaurant. We laughed a lot as we felt awkward looking at our face while eating :-)

Bali art trip plan is almost done. LDY and PEN are the organizers. How many ladies would go? Five and a half: two organizers, two group leaders, and SUS who will join on–off. The rest are scattered in many cities in the world. We don’t mind to have a small group, even better :-)

It was nice to spend two hours with six chatty ladies. I forgot that I’d been forgetful 24 hours before..

Painting of Milosevic by Yang Shaobin.

F vs. F

I got a birthday dinner invitation from Eka, my cousin, just now. My auntie’s birthday. I have considered her as my second mother because she’s my next mother when I left house for work in Jakarta in 1990. I stayed with the family for about three years. Her three girls became my crazy buddies. We spent nights chatting outside our rooms after office-hour, or in disco, till dawn. We survived to have two hours sleep every other day and go to office in time every day. It was fun. We shared a lot of friends – girls and boys.

We met on and off when everybody moved on with life. We got together intensely again about three years ago. Timing was perfect that we spent lots of time together; shopping, dining, and doing crazy things. And the cycle returned last year; suddenly we are all busy with our life again. That ‘separates’ us once again till.. now. But, I’m not so excited about getting together with my cousins this Saturday.

Everyone has moved on, I have moved on. I gain a lot of new friends the past two years. I also create some new activities without my cousins in the frame because of different interest. I feel great with my ‘new life’ and business. And when I look back at them, they keep the same life actually; only Rini who’s going to be grandmother for second time. She just turned 49 last week. It’s another great life, I think.

It seems that time and what we’ve been through have created kind of communication gap. I don’t understand them and they don’t understand my busy life lately. I just watch their life goes but in the other hand they have something to say about my life. That bothers me. I once was triggered to ‘argue’ with them about what they told me. Only later I thought it would be fuss and unproductive, I better keep my mouth shut and smile on. And funny, the last time I talked to Kikie, I told her to not discuss about sensitive issues. She agreed but before we moved onto next topic she said Basically, I don’t want to know that.. Ha ha.. she really forgot that we have our own life :-)

I treasure my relationship with family and relatives; and also appreciate their care but.. don’t you think we have to be able to limit ourselves to not intrude each other’s life? Anyway, to put me in safer side, I’d rather mingle with my friends these days. I feel free and no burden. I could be myself and share more.

Today I had farewell lunch with RIT who’s leaving for London tomorrow. It’s another time of the year when girl friends start to leave for long summer holiday. It’s time when we exchange dates of when and where we would be in the next three months. Everyone will leave Jakarta the week after next week and I would be the one who stay for Bali Singapore Bali Bali trips (that’s my plan for the next three months). Time flies anyway. We should not be worried..

RIT, AMA, PNI, PEN, and I had nice lunch at our favorite fish restaurant in EX. It was a big delicious meal that we loved to forget our diet. And more at CBTL for coffee and.. cheese cake! We were full to the top. It was not a sentimental farewell at all. We dispersed in supermarket after coffee. Quick hug and short speech were enough. Too sad to imagine having lunch without good friends around :-)

Photo of a nice message I found in Ubud.

Wrong Season

Still cold. Aaargh.. It’s been a week now a friend feels unwell. Now I really care. Last month another good friend was not well for almost four weeks. Fever, cold, cough, but blood test showed okay. Only after an antibiotic ‘bomb’, the unexplainable symptoms were gone.

I really need to run some errands today and an ‘extra’ would be great. 12 PS with Ida? I asked Rad whether she could have lunch with me and Ida today. Ida is my office friend that becomes Rad’s school buddy. I haven’t met Ida for years but.. Rad is unwell and plans to stay home.

Hm.. that’s not a good news. I heard Usep caught dengue the other day and last night he got very high fever. Rad was in hospital with him last night. Ah.. she should look after her health too.. But who could? Anything could happen these days. We are vulnerable if do not take extra precaution.

I decided to stay home but I hadn’t given up. One more try. I thought about Pien, my other friend from office day who becomes my blog reader recently. We are close but hardly had time to meet. But.. My stomach is upset. She stays home too. Whaa..

I reflect. My appetite to eat is not good the past few weeks. I push myself to have more fruit and milk to compensate. And when I feel my body aching like these days, I take vitamin B and stretch more through yoga. Is this another impact of being 40? I should pay more attention to what my body tries to tell me.

By the way, it’s mid week again and I haven’t made significant progress on Mama’s book. I only managed to fill in my 2007 life plan chart last night :-) Not bad because it’s not an easy thing to do either.

Aah.. I’m not productive today. I might need to do something new. Let’s see what I would do rest of the day..

Photo of praying rows at Pura Samuan Tiga, Bali.

Excess Thought

I thought How Jakarta Works study group were going to visit a ‘real’ kampong this week. But two weeks ago, Chris the organizer sent out a short description about the XS Project (please click the green hyperlink for further info). I was so excited. It was going to be as interesting as kampong visit because Ann Wizer – the artist and the founder – would be present and talking to us. She only comes every six weeks from her present home in Manila. We were lucky to have her today.

I was the last person to enter the Project house. I trusted Agus to check the map and he made mistake. I had to call Chris’ driver several times to get the address. I was panting from running down the small alley to get the house. Ann had started the presentation when I got there.

Ann has worked in the project in Jakarta more than five years now. She recycles plastic ex 'flexy-refill-container' into things such as tote bag, trash bin, pencil case, cosmetic bag, lunch box, and now she develops computer sleeve and bag. She works with a lot of trash pickers who select trash she needs, washing/cleaning team, and sewers who work in 'office' and their home. The profit from the business is given back to the community for welfare such as providing clean water.

She has gone through ups and downs in running the business because her idea is ‘risky’ and sensitive although it helps cleaning the environment. And more challenge after many Yayasan (social organization) copy the idea to use same trash to create similar product. She does not want to go through the hassle of getting patent right for her creation, instead she challenges herself to keep creating new lines and the high quality. I noticed that her product is super in quality. She said that she measures stitches, I believe in that. She started the business with 70% defect rate to below 5% now. She creates a system to monitor each sewer’s work quality and productivity. I admire her high standard and the ability to handle that. Working with persons in certain level of education is a real big challenge that involves patience and.. time.

Anyway, listening to her telling her experience is always enriching. I have been in her ‘lecture’ twice now and would never have enough. There’s always something new to learn and reflect. And her spirit? It reminds me to do more for community and make use of the best of my life.

I skipped lunch with the ladies and stayed longer to talk with Ann and Unie, the manager. Ann and I have known each other for a few years now and have a mutual good friend lives in Manila. Unie was so nice to give me more discounts for my purchase. I bought a new hip kitchen sink bag which is an exclusive line because of its unique patchwork – they took picture of each bag and its owner (I'm lucky to get the right color of my personality); a round cushion with plastic shred for filling, and a simple trash bin to remind me to collect my plastic waste for them. Each item has its own message. Isn’t it great?

Three hours was enough to drain my energy. It was a humid day. I was wet and could not think of anything but take shower. I look forward to spending evening studying my new life plan. I got a new idea to explore yesterday. I won’t share with you now. I need to make a real progress before disclose it :-)

Photo of Ann and my purchase.

Little Efforts That Count

Let me confess something.. I haven’t done my Success workbook! I thought ten weeks to finish the assignments was nothing but.. the commitment to tend the book every day is something. I don’t like, and like, to know that. I don’t like that I could not commit but I like to know that I am.. normal :-)

I take my life too easy. I have dream but I don’t plot like putting it in writing. It’s good and not good at the same time. It would be good if I could ‘articulate’ my plan so that I could focus. But ‘going with the flow’ is also interesting too. The art of wandering..

A friend showed me chart of 2007 life plan. Aaahh.. I wish I could make such plan. I could not list my ‘strength’; I’m not a professional, writer, musician, poet, designer,.. I have a bit of everything but I don’t have something strong enough to be my ‘goals’. What about my ‘vision’? I ‘might’ know my ‘mission’ and ‘values’ but my ‘dreams’ alter every now and then.

Last week I discussed with Rad and Dumbo whether we are able to say that we have achieved our dreams at present. Rad said that many of her friends could not say that they are happy with their life now although they seemed to have owned many things in life. We agreed to the reality that we keeps altering our dreams because we are living, moving, changing,.. Alive!

Aaah.. can I just say that I could not make 2007 life plan? :-) I might not be able to define now but later I might. It reminds me of the way I discovered my art style. Only last night I'm confirmed that my artwork actually shows my personality. I knew somehow but could not prove till a photo struck me.. Hey, that’s my artwork!

Finally, I had lunch with Yungkie today. I had to run errands and wanted to see ‘new’ friend. It's good today we could match our time. I was fifteen minutes late but fine we still had 1.5 hours to talk before her meeting at 14:00.

It was hilarious when she told me that she liked to print my blog-posts so that she could read offline. Not that she doesn’t have computer at home but she could not handle computer glare. She pushed me to write more about other issues. Now I have more friends told me the same thing. I could not write fiction but she might be right about more elaborative daily issues. Now I’m thinking..

Meeting her is always fun. It gives me new knowledge about performing arts because of her work in a dance company. Today I learn about gay dancer has no place in the company because many performances show romantic act between man and woman. Gay might be good in the dancing but not in the expression toward opposite sex. Ehm.. never thought about it! Very technical.

Yungkie and I hardly had enough time to share. We talked about many things. We read same book, we are concerned about same thing, we have similar ideas about many things,.. We promised to meet more often though short. Little efforts that count..

Aimless Wandering

I’m still burned by Mama’s living memoir idea that I haven’t made a.. significant progress. I have started to list what I need to incorporate in the book but still very rough. I went through three memoirs I have and still I like Ayu’s Papa memoir. It’s a booklet nicely done by the kids. Amir’s Mami living memoir is also nice but the stories are written by persons who know her.

I found Ayu’s version more ‘challenging’ and has more ‘intimate’ touch. So I asked Ayu through email the other day about her experience in writing the memoir. How she recollected her memory about her Papa, how long she needed to compose the story, how others contributed to the story,..

Her reply was surprisingly elaborative and.. long. I could not thank her enough for sharing so much with me. She told me how she came with the idea to make the booklet. Her Mama wanted to share a nice little token as her gratitude to relatives and friends who had spent time with the family during the grief. Her Mama got the inspiration to share something with loved ones from my Mama’s 70th birthday memento.

I remember Aga, my cousin, who likes to remind me again and again how I prepared memento for Mama-Papa 25th wedding anniversary in 1986. Yea. I painted lots of smooth river stone with wall paint and drew a small insect (butterflies and bee) with colored pens on its smooth surface. It was paper weight. I have taken my idea for granted but am so glad to know that one always remembers that.

Inspiration. I like to tell people how they have inspired me in many ways – big and small. And I also like to know that I have inspired others through my simple ideas. I always feel like a less motivated person or a person with great ideas but needs a hard kick to materialize. I need to stop my aimless wandering, therefore, let's keep inspiring each other :-)

Photo of many elements that have inspired me.

Gratitude

Saturday, March 10

I continue reading The Secret by Rhonda Byrne since yesterday. It happened that Larry King talked about the book with some of the co-authors. It becomes more interesting to me then. The writers have done research on the power of thinking scientifically but some people still do not believe in the power.

Actually I don’t really enjoy the writing. It’s going round and round maybe because of the many contributors but it’s good in a way; it helps me fix the concept :-) This morning I came to a chapter about The Powerful Process of Gratitude. About how we need to be grateful for many little things in life since we get out of bed and one foot touch the ground in the morning. It’s an interesting idea to show our gratitude to have another brand new day. It reminds me of my long time friend, Ardy, who once sent me a daily gratitude email: a daily reminder to feel of gratitude every day (I wrote her Hi! email this morning).

A co-author shares a trick to have something to remind us to feel of gratitude. He picks a rock as his gratitude rock. Every time he touches the rock he thinks of something that he’s grateful for. It’s a good idea to have a reminder :-)

I hardly thought about the effect of setting a dream but I know that positive thinking has led me to act positively. That’s how like attracts like (make thing you think) happens. I noticed my two past dreams this morning: Chiko and my body. I dreamed to have a pet in my small house. It was not easy to manage the idea but looking at Chiko in my chair this morning, it reminded me of my dream that has come true. I have managed to have a big tom cat inside house the past few years!

And as of my body, I observed it while exercising. Yes, in the age of 40, I get body I always wanted. I am lucky as many women start to lose shape after 40, I managed to shred off fat in tummy and back. None is better. Positive thinking contributes but my patience to yoga at least four times a week has helped me much. I believe in that. I thank myself then.

My dear girlfriend MKO came down from Singapore to see RIT and me. It’s so nice of her to consider to be off of her busy life to spend a good time with us. We took her to SC mall to have long lunch. We talked non-stop, or RIT and MKO did because I listened more. Both liked to talk, shared about many things.

In the afternoon, we went to the foot massage parlor again with SET, MKO’s boyfriend. This time I decided not to get one. If I go with different friends twice a week to get a foot massage, by the end of the month I would be tenderized meat. It’s good that we managed to get a private room so we could chat without disturbing other patrons.

We met up again for dinner. I chose the restaurant, DB, that has nice setting with Indonesian antiques for decoration like eating in a museum. Every body was happy with the atmosphere. We let ourselves ‘out’. We ordered whatever we fancied from the menu and it ended up with 12 dishes (among them were 3 different botoks and 3 different satays). MKO was happy to take the leftovers back to hotel. She planned to feast in the morning. It was fun.

I ended the day after midnight. A rich day with good friends. I feel of gratitude? Yes.

You’re the first!

Strong winds kill four on Bali. Aaarghh I forgot to reply to Agung Listrik (he got his last name from his job to look after electricity at PLV and MW’s shop). He told me thru a text message yesterday about strong wind in Pejeng - Bali where he lives. He also checked how Jakarta was. It was a very nice gesture that I didn’t respond promptly. Shame.

I put down the newspaper and replied to Agung’s text. We exchanged a few text messages and I felt good about it. I also showed my concern about the wind to MW that opened up to more exchanges about many things including a reminder to not forget to have fun while we can.

I realized this morning that reaching out is a gesture we could share with dear ones and it's nice if we don't take others’ for granted. It made me thinking about emails I should write and reply. The key is never putting off responding. Think simple and we would be there. Thinking of an elaborative reply keeps us from replying promptly.

While I care about text correspondence, I also care about friends I should meet. I realized I have met same friends the past few weeks. I need to reach out more. Lately I’m thinking a lot about Yungkie, my dear friend who works in a dance company. We have planned to meet looong time now. Time is hardly kind to us. Our schedule keeps mismatching. So with Dumbo (Endang’s nickname) and Rad. I squeezed time to meet both today. I have lots to share with them. I need to work on my Mama’s living memoir and they are perfect heads to accompany mine.

In the end of my morning, I feel blessed with the feeling to having a special place in someone’s life. A good friend set up a new email account and told me that You’re the first! (in the contacts).

Photo of a sample of someone’s artwork I found in a graphic magazine. It touched me when I first saw. The title Orang baik sulit dicari (a kind person is hard to find) holds truth.

E r R a T I c

It’s an easy and nice morning for me. I read more of Orman’s book and got burned with the investment ideas. I have been processing an investment idea the past few days. I didn’t want to waste time, I did ‘due diligence’ when I had chance. NDA was my first victim. I interviewed him through online chat about the investment I have in mind. He said something positive about it. So I’m happy to arrange a meeting with him next month to discuss the possibility further.

I was not so enthusiastic to have lunch with the ladies but of course I had to go. AMA changed mind, she didn’t go. That left RIT, PEN, and I. We talked about menopause swing mood the ladies start to experience. AMA was one example. They talked more about changes in their movement and mood. That’s scary. How fumble PEN becomes, how imprecise RIT becomes, how erratic AMA is,.. Oh yes, oh yes, it will come to you too, darling. RIT looked at me. Don’t tell me.

So we were all in erratic mood today. RIT thought that something was wrong with her. I didn’t feel anything but had less motivation to hang out. PEN kept the plan to have foot massage after lunch so I also kept my word. We grabbed Starbuck coffee before off.

That was one of the days when I didn’t need massage. Like having coffee, I’m not a coffee-mania but I enjoy it for social. My massage today was another social then. I took it easy. I thought it would be nice to have someone to relax me.

I was wrong. I felt it since the first press, he pressed wrong buttons. And it’s all wrong till the end. I didn’t feel better. I felt like a well pounded meat ready to be fried. Later in the car, I felt cold sweaty and shaky. I could not handle picking up laundry in a supermarket. I went straight home and showered. How many times I should tell myself not to push things that don’t work for me, at least I have to trust my feeling. Ugh!

Photo of a nice message I found in Bali.

Stay in Control

I slept early last night with hope to start the day early. I woke up before 3:00 so had to continue sleeping. When I got up, it’s already 6:10. It’s fine. It’s cloudy and cooler this morning, 24 C.

I spent my morning doing household chores. I have many little things that need my care. My cousins have stall for Una Beads at Citos mall today as part of the usual Wednesday Ladies Bazaar. I decided not to go. I want to spend time at home tidying life. I only sent Agus to help out with setting up.

Having sorted out laundry, I waited office-hours to start by reading The One by Harley I have long time. I hadn’t finished the book so needed to review back then browse to finish. It’s about relationship. It is a nice book and has given me a good check-list of what I have done and need to do. A good reminder.

I contacted my bank to complete administration they need yesterday. We were in fax and phone communications. I’m comfortable with their service which is flexible. It reminds me to be flexible anytime to ensure everyone’s comfort.

Now I know after learned about passengers who were trapped and burned in plane fire accident in Yogya that to be calm and patient are important in a crisis. Most dead victims were found near exit door. I don’t have idea how most passengers were managed to be evacuated. Up to now the victim list has not released. I hope none of my relatives and friend were on board.

I also spent time to talk to Linda, FRA shop attendant, after numerous text messages the past few weeks. We hardly had a good time to talk because most of the time I was only free after shop-hours passed.

I realized that I really need to talk a lot to my staffs. I like to treat and trust my staffs as adult with their capability and responsibility but I was wrong. They still need close supervision to ensure things are done the way it should be. I have lost grip in this area. Again, communication is the key. I should not trust things could go without enough communication.

I haven’t passed noon time but I have done a lot of communication. It’s good that I chose to stay home today. I could tidy domestic area, complete banking administration, and learn about what happens in shop.

The boys are working at home today. They are tidying water pump location and installing an exhaust fan for Chiko area. I’m supervising while having good time with Chiko. He likes to be close to me again after long time. He enjoys my computer chair again..

Original Fake

How’s your week?, RIT asked. Empty, I said. It’s nice to have an empty scheduled week sometimes but it's surprised me at the same time that nothing comes this week. I am free.

Can I go with you? So I went with RIT and PNI to Mangga Dua today. Mangga Dua is a wholesale market in Chinatown. I heard it’s the biggest complex of such in South East Asia. It's a complex of huge malls selling lots of stuff from many regions. It’s more fashion than anything else.

I hardly went because I’m not in fashion industry and I don’t make effort to get my fashion need. I heard many foreigners are familiar with the place especially with shops selling ‘original fake’ branded handbags. Original fake? That’s how they call. It’s a fake but it’s really good quality that looks like original. Hm.

PNI is the expert. She knows where to go. I liked the busy feeling once we entered the mall. People were selling things that left no empty space. They shouted and thrust their goods so we could touch. I enjoyed any item available on the way. Before ten minutes, I had stopped to buy mix juice and rubber toys.

The handbag shops were amazing. I could not believe my eyes seeing piles of ‘expensive’ handbags without cover, thrown just like that.. When I looked closely, the ladies were right, those have good quality. The leather, the vinyl, the fabric, the embellishment,.. Yes, it’s original fake. Learned the price, I flew to heaven. The price was 1/10 even 1/20 (for more exclusive brand). Oops..

What a business.. Many many ladies hung around the counter trying handbags and bargaining. The alley was narrow that I had to let my body being ‘beaten’ by bigger bodies and bags. My two buddies were in buying spree especially PNI. She knew what she wanted, made quick decision, and went onto next. So efficient. RIT took longer to decide but she made a good choice today. She took two handbags I chose for her which were ‘not her’. RIT is a conventional lady; it’s not easy to make her trying other style. So I’m happy to see her happy with 'her' own choice today.

There’s something wrong with me that I don’t have heart to buy fake. I just could not. There’s one handbag, very good leather, very me in style,.. but later I learned it’s Hermes. It’s not popular (not many wearing the brand) but.. Oh dear, I kept thinking of the handbag, even later when we’re back to pick up stuffs I still considered. I tried to picture myself with fake handbag walking in public. No no no.. I could not. I feel like stealing someone’s idea. Not material thing but still stealing.

Why can’t people come up with original ideas? Or, the industry has entertained people who really care about famous brand? I didn’t give up. The bags were so inviting so I looked for a shop selling similar model but no brand, no label, no embellishment, and has good quality. None. Of course.

Our lunch was super. It’s an eating place like warung. It’s very busy so must be good! It was, the food was good. It’s a strange specialty; gado-gado (veggie with peanut sauce) and thom yam. Both were really good. What a combination.. RIT and PNI ended up bloating of too much eating till they could not stand hearing someone mentioning food ha ha..

We ended five hours shopping with lots of shopping bags. I bought sleeping wear for my girls and nice doll for Yuli’s girl (shown in picture). I also have rubber toys for myself and staffs’ kids -- it's a kid's toy :-) And.. three bras at $ 5. All are original though..

Ghost Writer

The Java Jazz weekend has passed and I didn't participate enough. I only went the first day and yesterday MBO pushed me to go but I stayed in with my blu mood. I was so bad that I could not picture myself among the Festival crowd. No. Even after I missed to watch Jamie Cullum, I didn’t regret. I was not in the right mood, that’s all.

Museum Nasional gave me two short description labels to translate and I planned to do today. But hm.. lunch with a friend must be nice. So I agreed to meet BSW. I combined the trip with checking out books in three bookshops in PI mall. I wanted to share Orman’s book with Ami. I also happened to find an interesting novel I have searched for long time. And a guide book to Jakarta after dark for RIT. We talked about the activities a lot so it’s time for her to read the real reportage.

I chose a restaurant with glass walls so I could enjoy the weather. It was nice to see sun, rain, and wind. BSW came in time. I asked him how his book project is going. He looked for good Indonesian writers to work on an autobiography of an VVIP. Many important persons have a book about the story of their life or what we call autobiography but.. the autobiography actually is written by a group of writers whose names are not shown in the book. Ya. I learned about ghost writers here. They charge a premium to have their name disappear like their work is never recognized. An interesting job, ya? What is it like to have our work hidden behind someone’s name..

We also talked about efforts we put to write an article for a journal. The research and the pain for a 20-page piece of writing which people browse quickly but means a lot to the author. BSW is going to start his PhD soon. Study world always sounds interesting to me. The other day RAD shared how study has given her special new energy. She gets up in the morning with spirit that makes her starting the day earlier. It’s really nice to hear the experience. Actually I’m processing the idea of back to study although I feel that I might not have the same patience. Hm :-)

BSW didn’t have much time today so we were off after 1.5 hours. It’s a nice lunch. Spending time with positive person is always nice and energizing. I’m happy with my day.

Photo of a keris hilt depicts one’s guardian shadow in Bali culture.

Time to Learn

I attended my relatives' joint birthday party in a bar last night. I didn’t feel like going but of course I had to go so I took a short nap before went out around 23:30. I experienced a ‘law of attraction’ just before I went in. The security didn’t let me in because I wore flat sandals. Cute sandals though, not the rubber one. I was okay with their rule but.. I observed other ladies with sandals could pass even ones with flat like mine. Okay, my ‘dislike’ had attracted them to ‘act’ the same. I accepted.

It’s a nice bar, huge, and full of many happy people – most were young of course. It’s good to see my cousins for the first time this year. Yes, two months have passed but I only met them last night. Where does time go? Or, where was I?

It’s not easy for me to ‘connect’ with the atmosphere because of the smoke. I forgot the last time I was suffocated by smoke. Jakarta has applied no-smoking rule in malls and restaurants for a year now but not yet in public places such bars and a big event such Java Jazz. It’s a pity. Can’t we have fun in a smoke-free environment? I’m worried about nice silk I wore too.. Smoking people don’t care much about how they hold the cigarette and I don’t like to see my clothes with tiny or bigger holes.

Anyway, I left early. I was sleepy and suffocated. I hope it’s not because of my age that I could not enjoy the atmosphere longer. I don’t mind loud music, especially energizing one, but I mind about smoke and.. good company :-)

I woke up early and stayed in bed a bit longer knowing that I hadn’t had enough sleep. But of course I could not stay longer, I better caught nice morning before it’s gone. It’s a cloudy but fresh morning. I feel light and happy.

I bought Suze Orman’s Women & Money yesterday. I was surprised to find this new book in a bookshop. I didn’t expect but it’s so good to know that I could read the book soon. I enjoy watching Orman’s show every Sunday. She is good with money and philosophy of life. It makes her different than other financial advisor who only talks about how to profit from and manage money. She is a good speaker and her writing expresses the same ‘quality’ of her expertise.

Orman talks about women’s nature to nurture; how women give of her to look after family, friends, and colleagues but.. money. Women are not in touch with what to do and what not to do with money and keep themselves in the insecurity feeling. Orman puts it as “voluntarily committing financial suicide and doing it with smile”. I could see how she feels about women situation.

I discussed with PEN the other day about many ladies I know have huge potential but spend time in Jakarta as good housewives with fun activities and endless lunches. Of course I understand the situation where they could not function as if they are in their home country. But, what a ‘waste’?

I often ‘interviewed’ my bright friends with career before about how they feel about their situation now and future. Yes, I looked for a mirror to observe my situation. I’m among 90% women who feel insecure when it comes to finance. Even my ‘wealthy healthy’ Mama feels the same, I could feel. But for me, she is doing very well with her finance that have provided me a good mirror to review my way to deal with finance.

Hey enough about learning. I’m happy to realize that time to learn comes eventually.