Wish I could come and hug you!

I am now using creative visualization every day.
Shakti GawainMy yoga teacher hugged me in the end of kirtan (chanting) session with a well-known Chinese-American soul singer last night. My first time ever attending a kirtan. The yoga studio is in the upper floor with barely any building around. The view and the wind is 'without intrusion.' I was chilled under my silk shawl by the window but there’s nothing I could do. Like meditation, we’re so focused when responding to the chant performed by the kirtankar (the performer). After a while I realized that no wonder we don’t have room to think about other thing in this call-and-response chanting. The lyrics and the tone. We can't miss it since we’re supposed to respond out loud. I felt like I was in a karaoke except that I felt ‘safe’ from being unable to sing well. Actually, I repeated it pretty well… I’m not a tone deaf!

My day is mambo jambo. I went to Denpasar to shop stuffs I couldn’t get in Ubud. I often said that Ubud is a ‘big town’ but actually we still need Denpasar to supply stuffs. Anyway, I don’t mind. I got what I need to feed my hunger for creating bracelets these days. It’s like creating mini necklaces and since it’s mini the inspiration is endless. Up to now at least. It often happened to me, I squeezed my creativity to dry that then I stopped working on it for years or ever. But I'm glad that I'd picked out the 'right' card for me at the moment before the kirtan starts. It's a quotation about being creative. I make it my mantra.

So yes, I got good news and very bad news today. Good news is good news, but bad news is really bad. Someone I know well got stroke and sounded pretty serious. Early 40s. I’m concerned about the trend these days. And my jeweler friend got dengue in Denpasar. She flew in from Jakarta last Monday and was admitted to hospital the next day. The thing is… her condition is not better by day and she hasn’t yet got permit to be evacuated to Singapore. I cry inside.

Too many sad stories around these days. And flu? It’s not a 2-3 day thing anymore. What is this?

That hunger.

Yea, it matches the color of your outfit!!

I thanked my yoga teacher for sharing me a white belt to help me doing postures. She distributed the belts while we’re doing an asana. If not a belt, she might put a brick or an extra small mat by our side while keep shouting instructions. So I was surprised when I grabbed my belt and found it in white!! Later I noticed it’s the only white belt she has, the others come in black and army green. She is so thoughtful! I appreciate. I gave her a bow in the end of class. For simple gesture that’s so rare to share these days.

I’ve been disturbed by my own thought these days. I don’t like to make mistake. Who does? It’s so annoying that it haunts me. I realized a bit later that I have put Neru page on Facebook in the wrong category. No wonder it looks odd to me. I should have put it under “Other Business” category that didn’t ring bell to me when I created the page. “Home Living” is not an appropriate category. But I’m not alone. I saw in Help Center that many many people suffer from the same problem that is putting their pages in the wrong category and it’s too late to change because the pages already collected fans. My case now. Facebook doesn’t have feature to change category. It is suggested to deactivate the page and sign up again in the category we want. Grr… For days I have to swallow the reality that I haven’t done perfectly. I didn’t research it thoroughly. Really, I could not ask Neru’s 90 fans to move to a new page and I have to start it from scratch. All I do is waiting for Facebook to offer feature to change. Shall I start a petition to push?

While I try to understand things, I still feel disturbed by minor ‘glitch’ that might pass soon. On anything. Like many, I know the theory but to apply it in real life is not easy. This is when doing yoga is the best escape. Torturing body, abstractly, to gain peacefulness. I was considering taking a holiday this weekend but really I couldn’t think of a destination. Tomorrow I will try to do something I never did before. I believe the spirit is same as visiting a new place. In other words, is like taking a holiday!!

Even forest comes in mini size. The bonsai I saw in an exhibition yesterday.

You’re so composed!!

I got up from my seat slowly. We were having dinner and sitting in the alfresco part of the restaurant. It was after rain so I was careful with what had dropped on my back. Something small but had weight. My seat was dark that I had to take a flashlight from my handbag. By then a staff from the restaurant was already present. It’s a dry flower ball!!

My friend said she could not be as calm as I was. She might have jumped and shouted out loud. I would like to do that actually… be spontaneous but living in jungly Ubud I have learned to merge with the environment. Animal can bite if they feel threatened. And we could unintentionally threaten them by making an abrupt movement. Anyway, I’m not that calm actually. I’m just cautious.

So after spending half-day with my dear friend watching bonsai exhibition in Ubud soccer field and had hot gossip over brunch, I experienced my first encounter with a snake in my area. My staffs don’t like to come to my house especially after dark for they are afraid of snake. Balinese like to kill bush because of the reason. A friend once asked me if I’m scared of snakes. I could not say until I see it!

I thought I had a bad sight when I saw the window frame move and become uneven. I went closer and realized that I was seeing a thin but long snake crawling up the frame. It twisted my heart. I thought about if there's any opening nearby and laid out Plan B in mind. She (I decided it’s a ‘she’ because she’s cute) moved along the frame like looking out a way to go in. Apparently she’s interested in my bedroom. She kept looking inside with her tiny head up and when I took pictures of her, she moved to where the camera was shooting. She was aware of my presence! I talked to her. I told her that she’s cute! We looked at each other for a while before she decided to move away crawling on tiles and climbed up a tree.

Now I believe that snakes exist in my territory. I’ve been wondering the past days what animals have resided in my neighbor’s house since she let all windows open 24 hours since she moved in three months ago. The other day, I heard (my morning unintentionally eavesdropping) she told her friend that she has at least four big geckos inside her house that they looked at her every time she went in. She also mentioned about some frogs. Does she have snake? I offered two thumb-ups for her. A foreigner in Ubud.

The experience has lightened up my day in a way. I feel tired since got up. Now I know which part of body that got significant impact from yoga. Tummy muscle!!

She is so cute. Isn’t she?

That’s life, coming in and out of yoga.

My yoga teacher concluded our catch-up. It’s been exactly five weeks I missed yoga class. Time flies. Two weeks in Singapore, passed two weeks in Jakarta, and last week had friends visiting. I forgot the rhythm. I forgot what to eat before went to class. I forgot to bring towel. I would regain my ritual. That’s my promise to myself.

Oh I’m so glad that I have pushed myself to attend yoga class today. It’s so easy to find reasons to skip but I imagined the reward after being tortured two hours. And yes, I gained the reward!! Yoga is the best body massage ever. Not just that, but it’s also the best heart massage. My back pain gone also I feel spiritually healthier when walked back home. Yoga is alignment for both body and soul. Really.

I heard some not so good news around health today. A painter friend’s wife is in coma in Java. My friend who just returned from Ubud last Saturday got dengue that she had to reschedule her flight to next week. My good friend in Manila is still weak on the second week although she felt better today. I just care about having disease these days. It seems so hard to cure, takes long time. I used to skip taking vitamins but not anymore since I had fever the other month. I was so scared and still am… I send good wishes to all my dear friends! I’m with them in spirit.

I’m excited of working on my new creativity challenge! Isn’t it nice to know that our life can be so rich when we do many?

Monalisa is in treatment so visitor could only see her from one side.

You never let me have the last line.

I told my neighbor friend who never let me had the last line when we exchanged text messages. He always had something to text to close our exchange… even the short Ha! He booked me for Wednesday. We’re going to see bonsai exhibition in Ubud soccer field. It’s a mega event it seems. I never saw an exhibition with such a serious display. It took days to build; like building a Bali house with alang-alang roof and rows of pedestals with white standing background of each. Two thumbs up for the organizer. Hope they get their money back. Really. I wonder a lot about doing business these days. How people make money in this tough situation.

This morning I decided on giving a soft loan to a girl, now a young woman, whom Mama sponsored about 15 years ago. She is now on her feet and doing well. I offered her a new laptop she can pay in installments last year but she only accepted my offer last week. She works as teacher in an international school in Jakarta, writes a lot, and does online business that I'm not sure how it works. Another smart girl under Mama’s wings. I’m proud of her that I really don’t mind to share. And she’s lucky, she could use first the money from selling necklaces the past weeks. I’m happy to see the fund has a good flow.

Having a loud neighbor allows me to unintentionally observe other people’s life like watching a soap opera. She’s been my neighbor three months. About. I haven't heard she talked in happy manner, let alone laugh out loud. Her life is a drama, for me. I learned from her staffs the other day that she is hired to teach Balinese to cook 'raw food' for a soon-to-open café. I followed the busyness in her kitchen almost every day where they cook together using some appliances. It’s interesting.

Only lately I unintentionally learned she’s a bit worried about her last days in Bali. This morning I heard she cried on the phone when talked about how she didn’t want to be a cook but wanted to have her own café in Bali. But she needed to return to California soon. I really couldn’t help eavesdropping since she liked to sit on her bedroom’s window frame that allows me an easy access to hear every word from my desk. Last night she had a mild debate with her boss that I had to have loud jazz music to distract my ears. I'm not interested to know more.

My body is aching. This is the result of working intensively on low table with little physical movement. I can’t imagine silversmiths who work on bench for hours. Any work has its own physical challenge. I guess. And my new creativity challenge is to create bracelets from leftover stones. It’s so addictive. I couldn’t stop. The variety is more, the work time is shorter. It’s really fun! Simple fun that makes me not ready to work on a mega project an acquaintance offered me to do together. The idea is pure and great but it’s just too big for me. I offered him my network though.

My mini project these days.

Thank you for a lovely time together…

Like my prediction, the sun shines after my friends left. They had four wet days during their visit in Bali. And today is Sunday. Literally sun day. I enjoyed it every second. I opened all windows and doors and put things in the sun. Thing I liked to do to dry rugs and covers. Ubud can be so humid in wet days.

It’s still early when I had another three necklaces ‘booked.’ I sold another one last night so altogether, in three days, I released 15 out of 33 necklaces I made last week. And I still keep most of them. Yes, they selected the necklaces from pictures I sent via email. I practice what they say on how to market art. Cater 20% of your customers that contribute 80% of your sales. I sent pictures of my creation to five fans “only.” They shared the 80%!

Neru also did very well yesterday. I spent two hours in the shop noon time while waiting for lunch with my friends. I changed price tags that looked worn, talked to Ayu about what’s hot these days, and also walked to neighbor shops to check out what they create. Ayu texted me later after I got home. She was so ecstatic to have made a good sale after I left, so this morning. I should not deny my power in the shop.

I worked on Photoshop again to show leftover necklaces. I will share the pictures with its ‘new’ fans. The good thing about necklaces that don’t sell, I can always redo. Sometimes after a while I see a design from different point of view and that means it’s time to make a slight alteration. Even from pictures I could see which part that needs to be altered. So I gave some necklaces a second chance before going to ‘liquidation’ department. Not recycled.

Nice sunday and Sunday. I look forward to have a good week!

The mess.

It gave a pinch in the heart…

A good friend of my good friend told us over lunch about her feeling when checked out of the hotel. It’s her first visit to Asia and even… after her good friend, my good friend, lives in Jakarta almost ten years! She said Indonesia is nothing she had imagined. It’s a different world. It must be for somebody who lives in Europe all her life. I love Ubud! She said it softly… many times. I have opened the Ubud door to my friend who only visited Legian until last year when she came to stay with me. Then her boys came and fell in love with Ubud. And they will come again in September. It’s all because of you, my friend said.

I did nothing. Ubud has charm. Charming little village with nice restaurants. My new friend just loved anything she had in any restaurant we took her. I promised my new friend to take her to lunch and dinner for seven days to different good restaurants. She thought about her area that she didn’t think she could promise the same. Anything, I’d like her to promise to come to Indonesia more often from now on. I could see her mind processing the idea and I believed she would.

I made a very good progress on creating and selling necklaces. I sold five the past two days via emails. And more in the coming days, that I know. I’m happy. I’m thinking to take a break but haven’t decided what and where. The weather in the past days is so depressing. Now I know why people in colder countries prefer to wear black. I felt the same this morning. When I thought about wearing white, I didn’t think it’s a good idea to wear in such weather. When later the sun shone, still I thought it was not strong enough for all white clothes. I ended up wearing white and cream top. Hhh.. Weather affects many.

I’m ready to do something else now.

My friends – tourists in Ubud.

I feel stronger when I’m with you!

My young friend told me when we were chatting online yesterday. Heh. Later I had to admit that I’m not that strong either when… rrr nobody’s around. It’s so common! And I often blamed it on my mood, on the moon, on other people… It’s easier to find a culprit!

The past two days I deal with myself. I didn’t let my mood guided me. I pushed myself to guide my mood. I worked on creating necklaces full time. It involved stringing, finishing, taking picture, pricing, making digital collage of the pictures, sending out the collage to potential customers, and… waiting! I managed to sell the sixth necklace of the A-Line in less than half day. Oh I am so proud of myself to have been able to sell it quite fast. Do I still have to convince myself that… I can do?

I also enjoyed taking my time. It seems I often prioritized others than myself that in the end I might blame on others when I felt I was not in their top list. That’s bad! So before anybody else, now I put myself in my highest priority! My neighbor friend kept telling me that it took him almost four years to learn how to put himself in HIS highest priority that he thought I have achieved that. I didn’t tell him that I’m still struggling to get there!

A good friend came to Ubud with her good friend in London. At first I tried to fit my schedule with her but she’s in between a planner and a whatever-happen-later woman so she changed plans literally every other minute. I once laughed out loud when she kept changing from an artist studio first, drink first, lunch first, a museum first, in our five minute talk. I’m not joking, I felt like trying to find the right time to hop in a fast running train. And there’s only a slight window to cut her thinking-out-loud. I had to pin her down with a question What do you feel like to do NOW?

So with my new attitude, I chose the time when I hop in and hop out my friend’s plan. I ended up a happy girl!! I had all the time to do things I needed and wanted to do without neglecting loved ones! I’m a strong girl, I could decide! I did the same with anything else. I stayed offline more, I don’t have to be there real time to reply to chat, emails, and… Facebook!

See how long I could stay in the state without coming back to the state where others become at the top of my priority.

My first project these days.

It’s a fresh feeling!

I 'apologized' my good friend from Jakarta who arrived yesterday for having promised Bali sun but it’s been raining on and off since last night. She didn’t mind apparently. It’s so cloudy this morning that I didn’t feel like going downtown to meet her. I’m going to see her in Ubud tomorrow anyway. I needed to finish some necklaces that I have started making bit by bit since I returned from Jakarta. I’m glad my ‘craziness’ is back. The past batches are too conservative for me. For me?

It’s tilem today. Dead moon. I read on Yahoo some days ago that it’s predicted there’s an eclipse that might make people become more aggressive. Like there would be a minor chaos because of aggression around the world. For me and my little world; I just need to watch my feelings, my thought, and my attitude. I’m among them who have emotion that is easily affected by moon. Many priests are like that. They say.

It’s funny this morning I realized I have a new ritual in the garden since I have a new gardener. Moving back a waste basket near bale! It’s so not important but I could be particular about putting things. My gardener and I might face a culture shock issue here. I picked out a nice basket to decorate my garden that at the same time it also serves as a temporary stop for my waste in plastic bags before it goes to the final stop near the compound's parking area. My gardener might not like the idea since for him waste should be part of ‘back office.’ Yes, he hid my nice basket behind the bale every day. I don’t know how to tell him how I like since we might deal with cultural perception. We might just end up moving the poor basket to and fro every day.

Rain in Ubud continued till this evening. I went to Sanur with a friend only to find Sanur was dry and more humid. We attended a gallery opening that I knew some artists who exhibited their fine work for the event. Art scene in Bali is pretty much the same in Jakarta: same artists, same crowd. It’s just nice to see people support each other, from senior artists and other bigger gallery owners to the junior ones. It’s nice to see the harmony. It seems that they use the forum to connect with colleagues of the same field. It’s perfect! I enjoyed seeing people couldn’t ‘place’ me. This girl looked familiar but… who is she?

I feel tired now and am ready to sleep. Rain will lullaby me again.

I enjoy my bedroom.

Kurang senyum!

A staff at the café my friend and I went this morning suggested my friend to smile more. He took pictures of us before we closed our 4-hour meeting. It was fun. I knew her about 30 years now. She’s my sister’s good friend in uni so when I knew her I might be barely 14 years old. Time flies. We never bonded as friend, only after we became friends on Facebook a few months ago. It took us months to make today’s meeting happened. Both parties had made it happened. That’s what we need… Both parties.

The past days I observed. It’s been long in my observation actually but I felt it more these days after Facebook era. Many people might use their contact only for the purpose of ‘when I need you,’ not for the purpose of ‘to keep our connection.’ I thought about the latter when I signed up Facebook that I could share about what I’m up to with anybody in my contact list without having to send email or text message. But funny when somebody (in my contact list) asked So what’s up with you lately? after a week of posts about my eye incision. Yeah, I might have been silenced on the news feed. Tha taa…

So I learned how to respond these days. And for some reasons, I even learned to let others' issues gone in the air – no response is a common practice it seems. Some friends only contacted me when they needed information from me, but when I needed? I should wait for ever. And funny enough that they would contact me through many media if I didn’t respond. What happen with you? They asked. The thing is… I never asked them the same question. No response. Fine with me.

So when my sister’s friend and I talked about it today, we had a good laugh. We experienced the same issue! No response or… got a nasty/improper response! In this era of ‘me, me and ME’ (quoted from a magazine I forgot about blogs and Facebook), others have become ‘insignificant.’

Daredevil in Silakarang, Ubud.

Stay calm and hapy!

I replied to my friend's text message that informed me she won’t come to Ubud this weekend. Her embassy slapped on travel ban after the Jakarta bombing. The fact is true but more I just knew that my friend has freaked out since the bomb exploded. Living in Jakarta 15 years hasn't affected her feeling about the country. I just hoped my two other friends still come tomorrow since I care about Ana, my driver. I want him to earn. That’s all! And I just got confirmation that my friends will come. I congratulated them for trusting this country and enjoying life!

I heard about so many uncomfortable things these days. I care. My good friend in Manila has been ill the past week and still although doctor said she’s free from H1N1 and dengue. Also my good friend in Denpasar who felt body aching and had a bit fever, and hasn’t been well yet. And this morning Mbo Yan, my masseuse, texted me that she couldn’t join us lunch because her hand is swollen again. Uh. Ayu, my Balinese friend who lives in Kintamani, didn’t show up either that I was too scared to find out why. She could have let us know that she canceled her trip down.

I’m happy about my visit to Neru today. I was thinking while parking if I still have my well-known 'Midas touch.' I used to have the power to sell when I was around Frangipani, my late Jakarta shop. Actually my staffs in Ubud also believed that I bring good energy to shop since shop often had good sales after my visit or if I sat the shop. Anyway, I made a good sale in 10 minutes I was in the shop. It’s so easy. 10 minutes transaction only. My staff asked me to come more often that I should listen. I still have the power. How come I’ve been so unmotivated to sit Neru?

So I kicked myself to visit my other shop, Pallava, that I hardly had motivation to go. There’s something that stops me from going. I thought because of my only staff that often made me lost patience but maybe not. I made a quick round, checked on the journal, then visited my neighbor. We went out to lunch in a new resto in the neighborhood. Our ritual, checking out neighbor’s business.

I might not believe in the power of mind-mapping but I enjoyed the benefit today. I spent about an hour before sleep last night to play around with the mind map chart on a website I found in Singapore. I was just curious to know how things work so I created whatever-mind-map to start. Of course, it’s easier to start with an original ideas, not fictional ones. So I dug out my scattered ideas to put on the chart then categorized them according to business and life plans. I tried arrows and nodes to create a chart. It was fun!

Since I put Pallava as a node, I also made branches like what I’d like to do with the shop since I still have 5 years to go. A long way if I do without plan! I made some five branches under Pallava. And when my neighbor friend came with a suggestion to revamp the shop, suddenly I could fit my plan into his suggestion. It has made my ‘rough’ plan became more real. It’s like a kick! He knew me too well that I’m one who needs a hard kick to do things well. He laughed looking at me processing the idea. I promised to let him know in a few days if the idea becomes mature.

Having a business is like answering to challenges constantly. It’s up to us not to answer but life has to move on, so business life. Now I have a new homework to do after creating a… mind map!

Assertive and informative ad.

making mindmap

A friend shared me what he’s doing while we’re chatting online. Making mind map? Thing I once tried using Buzan’s guidance. It didn’t work for me. I could not map my mind. It’s all scattered although the idea of creating mind map is to ‘tame’ mind. I call it to structure mind that my friend didn’t agree with the idea. For me, yea, mind map structures our busy mind. Anyway, I gave my mind a second chance to be tamed. I agreed on collaborating on some mind maps with him. The benefit of putting anything online. Location doesn’t matter.

I didn’t plan my day specifically (no map at all). It just came to me in a cool morning to start working physically around house. I took ladder out and worked on all windows in the house. It’s so nice to have a magic wipe that is so easy to use. One wipe, dirt and grease gone. It’s just perfect that the sun only shines on my porch after 8 am. Glad that I have a house faces east. I have longer time to work in the shade. And after that it’s a perfect time to dry anything in the sun. It’s my first time to put my two kilims in the sun. I used to vacuum them only but actually they also need sun to ‘dry.’ Living in Ubud needs extra work because of the high humidity level. I could see the vapor after a while. Half an hour later I enjoyed a dry and warm carpet. Oh so nice!

Oh yes, actually I planned to work on my A-line necklaces that I already got some inquiries via emails and texts to send pictures. That I promised on Neru page but I haven’t made. I preferred to follow the calling to work around house today to clean up the backlog. I ironed 3 loads of laundry in the afternoon. I have to clear up laundry from travel before Wednesday as I will host a friend during weekend. In fact, I enjoy doing housework so much so no complaint.

I might not be good in making mind map but I noticed that I’m better in preparing things and ‘clean as I go.’ I do less procrastination because I know the feeling after. I feel very good to have less things undone or half done. I will continue improving my discipline.

Scooter is in trend again in Bali.

U must have heard abt bombing…

A good friend in Jakarta texted me when I was having lunch in Denpasar. Ugh. I was thinking while driving downtown this morning how lucky I am living in Bali. Small island, good infrastructure, nice people, I have a life, and I feel… super safe here. In and out! Not that I become threatened now because of the bombing in Jakarta but it made me realize that I still live in Indonesia actually.

The past two days I’m in the mood of ‘pulling all strings.’ I gave my creativity a hard push. I participated an online art challenge yesterday that Blucolage got many visitors in a day. None has left a comment but that’s fine. I’m just happy to have shared my work to the world. I also created the A-line series of my necklaces. I have started almost a year ago but hardly completed a ‘series’ so I did yesterday and will continue after I post this.

I also 'pull all strings' for my next travel. My travel agent has been kind enough to work with me the past two weeks to keep extending my booking since I haven’t granted the visa. It’s a real chicken-and-egg situation. It’s strange that the Consulate didn’t give me assurance they will grant me the visa but already collected the payment which is not cheap. I really hope they just gave me a bit hard time so I would have a second thought if I plan to stay in their country for good. I just couldn’t tell how much I love Bali and Asia in general that there’s no way I plan to move out of Asia.

And what a bad timing after a bomb blasted to post on Facebook. The traffic must have been busy because of the incident. I decided to update Neru page every Friday afternoon. Neru fans might have time to relax and check out their news feed before off Facebook on weekend. That’s what I learned the past weeks that not many spend time on Facebook during their time with family. Or, if they miss it on Friday afternoon, Neru update might come fresh on Monday morning. Those business tricks. Anyway, yes, it’s not easy to upload anything on Facebook this afternoon because of the, perhaps, traffic. It turned out the post appeared twice that there’s no way I could fix. I wait. It might recover soon.

So I’m happy with my days. I have busy mind and body that have awoken my system very early morning the past days. I’m back!

Deep Thought, my collage to answer this week’s art challenge.

Great weather!

A friend texted me from Holland. I also found Ubud the same. Great weather! It was drizzling when I awoke. It’s so luxurious to wake up in my own bed. I stayed for a while enjoying the sky and the nature sound. I feel great!! I started the day slowly. I had nothing to rush. Or, I made it that way after a 3-week long away from Ubud.

What I like about me today is… I rediscovered my passion to produce necklace and make collage! I sold 12 necklaces in Jakarta, I even got payment before I left for Bali. I often underestimated my own works. I got more orders that I didn’t want to promise. I like to create but no one can order. My manager knows that already so she knew how to answer such query from my fans.

Speaking of fans, I have a new activity now… observing Neru page. It’s strange that Facebook didn’t create notification if ‘something happens' on the page for administrator. I watch the activities of the wall since I don’t want somebody uses it for his or her own advantage that I noticed from other popular page. People added themselves as fans then promote their products on the page. Such practice exists!

I was so brave to expose Neru in the open. The good thing about creating a fan page is the administrator is hidden unlike setting up 'group.' Anyway, I was just astonished by the power of word-of-mouth. Some of Neru fans are friends from my lists and friends-of-friends. Some are friends in real life but not on Facebook (for some reasons). And, some are prominent persons in the country that I didn’t expect they become fans of a small shop they’ve never been. I really hope it’s because they clicked the page and found it interesting to keep the info like keeping a name card of a place you think you might need someday. So 64 new fans in two weeks is not bad at all.

Well… well… I’m happy with my day. I took stock of stones for necklaces. I browsed some art challenges websites to prepare my comeback in virtual world. I know Blucolage still has fans. It’s just nice to be in the virtual art community again. It’s a virtual whip for me to create. I could easily feel malu observing my virtual friends' work on Etsy. I haven’t done enough.

Two friends were going through final examination for their post-grad degree today. And my dear friend in Manila fell ill since Monday that she expects not swine flu. She just traveled in the US two months. Now I really care…

I miss this. Chiko’s fur.

Hv u arrvd?

My nephew texted me just now. He knew that I was ‘in trouble’ this morning. Our flight was supposed to be an hour apart but ended up I was still in Jakarta when he arrived in Malang. My flight was delayed almost 2 hours. It wasn’t surprised me since I felt odd since morning. Like I had to do things I didn’t usually do. Canceled a taxi order was the first.

This is the time when I need to have something to nibble in handbag when traveling. I didn’t think long. I suffered a bit and more after sitting on window seat. I needed restroom! The girl in check-in counter was… a trainee. She didn’t know what ‘aisle’ means and when I asked to change she gave me that look. I gave in! And more after I had the guy’s head next to me fell toward… my shoulder! And that… snore! What a fun day!

I dropped all programs in mind after arrived Denpasar. It’s late anyway. I was emotionally tired too. I just want to be carefree! Do what I like, do what I want. Grocery shopping in hypermarket is always fun! I did! Driving home is more fun!

Got home I saw a meter-high pile of dry leaves. I just knew it must be from my garden. Now I have something to look forward… Seeing my garden in the light!

Life offers endless fun in every corner. Actually.

Yes, it’s window seat.

Too tired!!

My friend shouted responding to my complaint she didn’t smile in the picture. I knew she’s tired, she’s been yawning after the dessert. It’s a nice impromptu lunch we had today. All girls with one will leave Indonesia for good in August after living in Jakarta almost ten years. We talked about how things changed in the past five years. Major change in everybody’s life. Nothing is the same like before. We’re happy though to share good laugh this lunch. It’s just nice to be back!

But really, Jakarta has drained my energy and… my wallet! I feel like visiting Singapore where money is ‘gone too soon.’ Many things are in $50 unit. The more you move, the more $50 you spend. And five hours out is about maximum – the limit that makes you numb. Let’s blame it on the pollution. My friend who lives in Melbourne part time confirmed.

I spent half day revamping my collage site yesterday. I feel I have rediscovered my passion to make collage since I created one for my Belgian friend the other month and more for others a few weeks ago. The feeling is back. It’s addictive once I get into it, that I know. This morning I dug out cabinet that stores my old collage. How I want to live with my collage in Ubud but don’t want to ruin the paper in the humid. I better enjoy them when I visit Jakarta house. I just took some materials with me to start a new collection in Ubud that I can decide later how to store.

I must say that many of my creations are super! It’s been two years I didn’t create. My life must be too good the past two years. That’s how we understand why Michael Jackson was so creative. The ups and downs of his life were extreme. I could see that in my creations too. The creations I made in my last months of living in Jakarta.

I also found a new discipline of publishing a brief write-up about stuffs in my two shops on Facebook page. Like maintaining a website but this is even better because the update will show on the fans’ news feed real time without them click the ‘website.’ I plan to do it every week to keep the existence of the page. It’s nice to find new insights during travel about how to do things.

I miss Ubud and am ready to fly back tomorrow. I just got payment for 11 necklaces I brought from Ubud that can pay two trips to Jakarta. Yay!!!

Drained and gained.

BB generation. Together and no talk.

The last time I met you, you looked tired!

My friend told me over coffee in the morning. She didn’t see me 9 hours, 4 malls, later. I had no expression. I was so tired that I could barely think what to do after get off taxi. Two hours chatted with a good friend, it was so hot that I was half an hour late for haircut. Then another hour with my 17-year hairstylist-cum-friend (we found out today that we’ve known each other that long!). And another hour with nephew Dhana to have lunch. Finally another 4 hours hopping malls to run errands. It numbed me.

I observed and learned about myself today. My friend and I talked about communication across generations the other day. How she and I faced a phase in our life when to have a smooth communication with mother became harder. We are both about 30 years apart from our mothers. It’s a generation apart. The gap that needs both parties to come mid way. And often, the younger one that has to come mid way and wait for ever to get the other party to come closer. Such experience gives me lesson to be… ‘imprecise.’

Today is another day to practice impreciseness. I have learned it for quite some time that my friend mentioned in the morning how she started to copy my attitude. She is even more perfectionist than me. Fine, but it seems I still have that ‘planning things’ in me that many things have to be more or less precise. My friend confirmed the other week that I’m still… precise. I’ve succeeded in some areas but I feel I still need to relax in more areas. Especially when dealing with young adult. I’m in between ‘want to be imprecise’ and ‘need to be precise.’ But how to communicate my both feelings? In general, it’s already not easy to have an ‘adequate’ communication with a young adult like my nephew.

That cables, with ‘s,’ also implies a cable with adaptor, not just a cable to connect. How far my brain has to stretch in such case. And when I considered he’s mature enough to pack up for travel, I had to face the fact that he put his laptop in checked-in baggage without lock. I have passed the stage when I could explode of such thing. I learn more that I don’t need to be precise for other people for they have their own considerations and have to be ready to face any consequences that follow.

Really. By the end of 9 hours negotiating this and that to meet the mid way, I felt depleted. Drained. I thought I was the only one but… no. My nephew already had plans when we're still in taxi. Shower and rest.

Part of a statue depicts a fragment of Asmat life.

you fat! hahaha

I told my friend via online chat that I feel fat and actually I gain… 1 kilogram since I spent 2 weeks away from Ubud. But I know. At your size, 1 K is huge. Yea. Very. I’m in panic. What should I stop? I already started to eat fruits like monkey. Is this the time in my life when I gain weight but I don’t ‘resize'? I took out old jeans from closets and checked them out one by one. I still keep one that’s really small as standard since over ten years ago. But… I was surprised to find out that I was size 26 before so how could I fit size 24 now? Even a bit loose sometimes after a while. And the standard jeans? I could slip in easily. Uh…

Yes, I’m in Jakarta now. I arrived at the same time with nephew Dhana yesterday. We have many plans but also realized that Jakarta is so different than small towns where we live. Traffic limits us or… we let ourselves limited by the traffic. So upon arrival, we let ourselves fell into the same mode we had in Malang: chat, eat, and sit with laptops at home. Waiting for the morning to start the day…

We had a nice day walking three malls within five hours. Big malls just swallowed me. I lost interest. I just wanted to get out of the huge and noisy space after I’d done my stuff. And what was my stuff? It’s just hilarious that we planned to buy a small TV for us to watch during our stay but… they could only deliver two days later. And after I decided to carry the TV with us, they didn’t have it in the stock. My Ubud lifestyle continues. Yes, the two TVs in the house are broken. Things ruin slowly without close attendance like when I found out for the first time in my life a pair of shoes eaten by termites. I then opened all shoe boxes feeling scared. Hh…

I don’t have any fixed plan for the visit. I had but like often it disperses gradually. Like I planned to visit who-n-who and now I want to see no one. Some friends who happened to know I’d be around have called. One did impromptu visit last night that I didn’t mind at all. She is always dear to me plus… she’s my necklace-marketing manager in Jakarta. She managed to sell half of two collections I brought yesterday. She’s the one who made me feeling uneasy because I could hardly meet her market demand. Anyway, I’m satisfied.

Tomorrow is another adventure.

Chiko didn’t let me move too far from him.

Be a good citizen!

A friend reminded me after learning that I wouldn’t vote today. The reminder was followed by a brief lecture about being a good citizen. Don’t be a consumer only! Fine. It got me thinking. For one, I don’t know whom I consider to be suitable for our president. I didn’t follow the campaign and political news – only roughly. And so, I noticed some friends on Facebook facing the same situation (even a friend thought of using a dice to help voting). They wanted to use their right as citizen but they had no idea! Now which is better? To vote for ‘a wrong person’ or let others who know better to vote? I don’t have opinion.

I congratulated friends who voted but never asked whom they voted. And I never intimidated them to do ‘my way.’ I believe we have the right and consideration to do what we feel ‘right’ for us. I respect others’ choice. Whatever. And am I only a consumer? I have all papers as citizen valid, never expired as required. I pay taxes. I never tried to get cheaper fiscal tax in airport. I do whatever my country asks whoever the president is. I also help out in my community whatever I can. I do my best as a good citizen.

I stay home as I realized that many business places might close for the day. Although I didn’t see extra busyness to prepare the election in my community but I believe Balinese liked to take advantage of the day. The national holiday. Whatever, I needed to stay in. I prepared 21 new necklaces for my friend in Jakarta. I feel embarrassed for taking so long to supply her (and her friends) with my necklace. They were my biggest buyers two years ago. Yea, I didn’t make necklace 1.5 years! I don’t believe myself how time flies.

I finished packing before dark. I’m a bit traumatic about the possibility of having power out on the night before early morning travel. It’s so annoying to pack up in the dark. I managed some stuffs today. My new gardener worked hard to do half garden. It’s just too much work to do in one day. I let. It’s just nice to see a neat garden that no one can say it’s been years not swept. I’m satisfied.

My neighbor seems to preparing a get-together in her house this evening. I saw Balinese decoration on the door. The kitchen is busy since afternoon. The people? They talk constantly since morning. I might sleep with party music after slept with a war movie the other night. The art of living in a community. Be consumed!

My new necklaces.

When are you cominggggg??????

It’s been two months since my good friend in Manila left for the US. I still remember how hectic her days were before she left. Although we’re not living in the same country but I was so afraid I might miss her. The same feeling. When close ones are close we feel safe and in the end we hardly see each other. Anyway, that’s one friend. My Ubud friend has spent half time of her visit to Switzerland. I have written her twice and she has replied none. She once complained about finding Internet connection in Switzerland that is unlike in Asia. It’s hard to find and expensive. It’s so unexpected ya?

Now that my friend is back in Manila, she misses me. She still longed for her place in Tilghman Island, I guess. I can imagine her life restarts these days. Some friends have finished their summer holiday, some are going. I myself look forward to having a good time in Jakarta this week. Or at least, I make it that way. Look forward… since I don’t have much option but going. Do something different, see my nephew and good friends are always nice. Practice Disini senang, disana senang…

I had a busy day. Ubud traffic was so unpleasant still so I tried to avoid doing errands downtown. But today I had to shop for necklace material. I was stunned. Oh my! Price has hiked up 50%! I told my friend I could not make nice necklace with nice silver anymore, it becomes too expensive! I really could not switch my necklace accents to metal although I learned that not many people care actually. But I care because I could see the difference and I believe my real customers also. I guess the price hikes up because the sale has to cover more these days. Less sale, higher overhead. So here we are, customers carry the burden.

No complaints! Find a way out. I will…

Back home, I had two piles of laundry to iron. Outside, my landlord arranged fogging for mosquitoes for all houses in the compound. I had to take my stuffs in otherwise it becomes greasy. Tomorrow I’m going to have a new gardener – my landlord’s brother-in-law who could not hear well. It’s a challenge for me but I take it. I prefer to support my ‘first ring’ first before going further. So I also look forward to meeting and working with him.

I skipped yoga class today. I already had a lot on my plate. I better pace myself for the short days in Ubud.

The fog.

I can have this!

My friend mumbled while sitting on my bedroom's window frame. She loved my house! I liked the way she practiced 'law of attraction' that she said she has found it work. Nice! I'm glad that I invited her to come over this late afternoon. It’s been twice she visited Ubud and missed me so I made sure this time she would not. My good friend who shared me nice moment last night.

She took my friends and me to a dance performance in arts center in Denpasar. It’s performed by a well-known group that I never had a chance to watch their works before. My friend is a big fan of the group that she practically followed the group wherever they performed. Anyway, she had given me notice a month ago about the group performing in Denpasar. I was kind of excited anticipating the day but… Like often, I preferred to cocooning at home on my first day back in Ubud especially after long traveling. I was in battle inside. Being happy at home and narrowing my world, or going out and extending my horizon.

I was already in the mood when started the car engine. Glad I won the battle! I met new people and watched a performance that entertained all senses. It gave me goosebumps to see bedaya dance from Java and legong dance from Bali performed on the same stage. Both are fine works. And even more, the main dancers were senior maestros! They danced so fine! I told my friends after we left that I’ve seen many traditional dance performances but none as good as this one. The live gamelan from Java and Bali mixed so well. Oh… it’s beyond! I felt rich and refreshed when drove home close to midnight again!

I felt the glow from the experience last night. It was one of my hectic days before another travel. I had to do laundry before started the day. And my day was kind of odd since I had to manage some stuff just before meeting with my good friend who’s visiting from Australia. Ubud has started its peak. Bad traffic everywhere especially with one big hole on the road in front of Ubud market. It’s a strange hole because it’s perfectly round and deep like a bomb had exploded on the spot. Anyway, the bad traffic changed my agenda.

Expect the unexpected. I spent nice evening with a good friend from Jakarta. The one who liked my house a lot. We closed the visit in a resto near my house. The one that serves my favorite grilled fish and coleslaw. We had nice chat over many things. I learned a bit about being a Javanese from her. How she connects with the culture…

What did I miss?

The dance through my pocket camera's lens.

It’s 99 dollar per kilo, Mam!

The check-in counter attendant warned me of my 11 kilos excess baggage. I made a quick calculation. Ah. It’s worth a ticket to Europe! I kept my smile and thought quickly what I should do. She suggested me to take out some stuffs but also reminded me that I could only carry 7 kilos on board. My trolley bag with computer and stuffs were already over 7 kilos!

I decided to take the soft duffel with me and put my fairly large handbag inside. I told her that the soft duffel becomes my handbag. She was nice not ‘to look.’ Even she waived the 5 kilos extra still. I ended up with 5 kilos plus my already big handbag, plus over 7 kilo trolley bag. It’s just strange that everything would go in anyway – through different doors, filled up different space. So what? And look at me weigh 43 kilos compares to those who weigh three times more than me? I really want to appeal to ‘whom it may concern’ for weighing personal belonging in proportion to one’s weight. It’s just not fair!!

Anyway, I feel fine now waiting for my departure in Changi Airport. I had nice morning. I visited Peranakan Museum and a photo exhibition in Asian Civilization Museum. It’s a last minute decision since I hadn’t made any cultural tour since I arrived. Peranakan Museum is a private museum and relatively new. I hadn’t had a chance to visit. I decided to go since there’s none I could visit in Singapore after my visit in April. The thing about exhibitions that last two months is… I don’t have enough variety when I visit the town within two months. But, that’s also good if the exhibition is so interesting but I could only come later.

I admire how Singaporean organizes museums. It can start from any ‘simple’ thing like Peranakan Museum that 'only' features Singaporean inhabitants. They call themselves 'peranakan' or literally means 'children' because their ancestors were born elsewhere (India, Malacca, China, Indonesia) but they were born in Singapore so become Singaporean. Singaporean or, then, peranakan cultivates its own culture with influences from the ancestor. They are famous for the kebaya and its jewelry (kerosang brooch especially), the food, and the furniture and home wares. It's a mix of the main four origins. Interesting!

The museums have a good presentation with nice write-up, good display with technology (lighting and presentation), and interesting frequent show of related theme every other month that gives the museum a constant pulse. And at the same time, the museum preserves an old building because almost all (if not all) museums in Singapore are housed in old buildings. In Jakarta, an old building houses a controversial bar.

I took my time in Peranakan Museum and decided to walk in the sun to the next. A friend suggested me to check out a photo exhibition by Steve McCurry who took the famous picture of an Afghan girl that has strong eyes expression. A cover of National Geographic coffee-table book on great pictures. I’m glad that I went. It’s really good pictures he made. He has the eye and the patience. All of the objects are in Middle East. A place with lots of emotions.

I’ve been away 12 days from Ubud. It’s quite long. I feel relaxed and inspired but also need a ‘break.’ Life resets soon.

The museum.

Eat well!

A friend reminded me. My! I have problem when traveling since I leave my diet at home. Not diet of eating less, but more of my ‘ritual’ diet. For one, I miss eating fruits a lot. Here I have green apple, strawberry (big and no taste), and banana. But that’s all I could have? It reminded me. I should have brought hand juicer like I used to do in the past. Hm. And my other issue is I have big eyes for practically anything since I feel ‘insecure’ of not having enough food. I stock up… junk food! It’s sweet junk: MSG and anything that tastes unexpectedly super sweet! Carton fruit juice, fruit preserves, gummies, cookies, ice cream… Ooh! I have started collecting half pack of many things now. I might not be able to finish them.

It’s funny that I forgot that I have Facebook page for Neru Indonesia that I created just after I had my first Facebook account half a year ago. A few days ago I found out a childhood friend who just connected with me found her way to be fan of Neru Indonesia page. I was a bit embarrassed since I was sort of abandoning the page. Maybe that’s the reason I didn’t announce it after I set up. So I had a look at the page this morning and… Aha! I had time to give the page a life actually. So here I was sitting on desk half day administering the page: uploading pictures and rewriting notes. I still have some materials at home so can refine later but the major content to be eligible for a page with fans has completed.

Later I giggled since I forgot to use the page as business card – virtual one. The past one week, I sent my two shops’ addresses to friends who asked. I only realized this morning that the page actually could tell all, not just the where, but also the what! Simple thing that I didn’t go into detail in running business. I did much better in the past where networking sites were still unavailable. So yes, Neru Indonesia has 19 fan now after having 5 fans only for half a year. I’m back!

I also felt a bit embarrassed, I have all the time and look what I didn’t do. A friend, who’s a well-known gardener in Bali, always touched pictures he posted on his Facebook. I could feel how he appreciated every person he met and event he attended although of course he also uses the media for his business. Either he is so skillful with Photoshop or he has good assistant to do for him. Observing the wit on the post, I doubt the latter. I just wonder how he made time for all the work (Photoshop and a brief write-up to go with the picture) after so many projects he handles around Bali and out. He has a very good sense of humor, is a warm person, and that I don’t wonder how he got his fame. An Australian that has become a Balinese, pure one.

Almost forgot to share… I’m close to sell two necklaces from my latest collection I made in Singapore! A friend who saw the picture on the page reserved two necklaces that I teased her for her effort to observe it from tiny little pictures. I don’t know how I should appreciate my necklace fan. They are so avid!

I’m happy with my day. I closed the day with composing a collage of my picture. It’s fun to rediscover old passions. Be away sometime…

The collage.

Good to see you again, Mam!

It’s been two days the restaurant attendant greeted me in the morning. Knowing Singaporean don’t stop to smell roses, for me, this is special. After over a week around, she knows what I prefer. I appreciate that!

I walked quite far today for little shopping I’d been planning. It was raining hard in the morning but then stopped just before I left to start my day. I was not in the mood to meeting friends. There’s one I’d like to see actually but she teaches so might only have time to meet before dark. My stretching time in balcony. Yes, I have a new rhythm here.

I enjoyed walking in this city very much. It’s flat, even, and clean. Distance is not a matter. Even more now after the city provides more crossings along Orchard Road. It’s just easy to zigzag to check out shops in both sides without having to use underpass.

Today I had the urge to make collages. It’s nice to rediscover my passion after making one for my Belgian friend the other week. Making collage for somebody is different than making collage as artwork only. I need to study the character and what we share in common. It’s not easy especially when I only have very limited magazines to chop up. And, it’s financial magazines. Not many I could chop. But can it stop me from creating? I could not even stop myself. It’s fun!

I have some friends visiting Ubud this week. It’s ironic, like often, that friends who rarely come to Ubud miss me when they are around. How would I know? How would they? A friend has booked me for her visit three weeks from now. It looks so far away now but still before I know time comes.

I’m still here but already have travel plan for next week and next month. First half of the year has passed.

My view when I stretch in balcony.