Dog Talk: A Dare to Share

I learned from Sex and the City – the series that I still watch in my idle time. The main star, Carrie, is a weekly column writer and the episodes are about what she is planning to write on the weekend. In each episode, she narrates her process of thought from raw materials (many questions) coming down to a single question that then developed as topic of the week.

The idea comes from her experience or her close friends’. These girls talk about their issues – mainly about relationship. My point is… I just realized that talking about relationship is better limited among girlfriends. I have many male friends that I often 'treated' like girlfriends – meaning I shared with them many aspects of life including relationship. But it seems I have to give in to the fact that men and women come from different planets, there’s nothing we could do. So… women issues could only be discussed among women and maybe also in the opposite.

Why? For one, we have different language. Women could say something vague using strong words and men could only accept things black and white. So it’s dangerous! Sensitive topics could ignite a… hot discussion. A discussion that has no end and won’t make both party happy. I think Carrie knows the rule of sharing, she shares questions in her mind strictly with girlfriends and… her only gay friend. Good choice! Actually, I have both!

Manila feels cool today. It was drizzling in the afternoon. Streets looked less busy. It seems that they prepare a celebration in the evening as some streets are closed since two days. Minor fireworks have started to burst.

A couple invited my friend and me to spend New Year evening in their house. I silently wish myself a very good new year. A year without significant resolution.

Picture of a sign that could be found in many corners of Manila.

Virtual Relaxation

We all spend a lot of time with computer these days. It’s like an instant mini escape between chores. First thing in the morning and after going out, before and after meal when nothing to do, before and after shower, when arriving in a new place… Am I speaking about myself? A friend teased me the other day while I giggled observing her opened laptop in the same minute I did. We both craved for virtual world.

My sister once told me that it took ages for her husband to finish checking emails. That sounds familiar! Nothing new! We all spend unmeasurable amount of time in front of computer. From checking emails to online banking and shopping for stuffs (materials and services). That’s when we need personal computer – each person a computer!

I surrender to the new lifestyle. If no one is available then computer is my friend. It’s been long since I liked to blog hop so it’s good to do it again. There are many things I got from blog hopping – ideas mainly. Some links to creative projects have made me spinning. Some nice projects used paper and glue a lot – stuffs I could not use in Ubud because of the climate. Such work needs less humid and sunlight to keep its good condition. That’s an excuse though. I could work on other material like metal and other hard objects. Hm..

Later a friend who has just gotten a diploma from a long distance course has inspired me to take similar course (that I learned later its difference from online course). I spent some time in the afternoon looking for one that interests me. Not easy since among the profession offered are Animal Care, Dog Groomer, Gardener/Horticulturalist, Herbalist, Image Consultant, Private Investigator… The ones that closer to my interests are… Image Consultant? Who’s going to use my service in Ubud? Event Planner sounds closer since many events are held in Ubud and surrounding every now and then but? Do I need to take lesson to start such profession?

I give my computer a break then. I should spend more time making real connections. Attending a real class maybe?

Picture of metropolis Manila in a clearer day.

Live as the Time Changes

Been a few days stay in a metropolitan city, I realized that living in kampung one year is enough to change my lifestyle or habit or… Like in Jakarta, here I could sense if I shower with hard water. My sensitive eyes became red after shower. Thing I forgot I had since I live in Ubud. And this morning I was a bit worried when heard the helper sprayed chemical cleaning agent and before too long I got headache and red eyes of the fume. Oh!

And more, thing I didn’t realize before, MSG affects me now. Yum yum food with MSG gives me headache right away. I must have been less sensitive when I lived in Jakarta – city with lots of MSG, I presume. So this is my new life. I might have made myself difficult since I’m back to basics – unconsciously. My friend had reminded me actually that I might find it difficult to have salads in the city where no such original organic vegetables available. My taste bud might not taste but my body could tell. Auch!

I had lazy day in front of laptop. I tidied up my interconnected email accounts of fifteen years. I keep them all but needed to install auto-response in some accounts that I don’t use anymore. It’s tedious but that’s the way I keep connection with the past.

I also wrote some long emails to friends who contacted me for the season. It is so nice to be in touch again although we barely had time to meet let alone talk on phone during the year. Keep old connections, make new connections.

Picture of Ubud sky a day before I left for Manila.

Soldiers of Change

Not too much ice cream, you see David! My Ubud friend texted me in the morning. I told her the other day that I thought of her while enjoying ice cream in nice late afternoon. Yea, holidays break routine. I eat things I don’t usually eat back home, I do things I don’t usually do, I simply start a different lifestyle even my bio-clock has slightly adjusted.

I would like the idea to tie loose ends before the year ends. I keep thinking what I should do because I felt like I had done all. I reviewed my hard disk that I still don’t think needs a backup. Then I thought about my blog. I don’t like to think about the possibility of losing the daily posts (some websites just closed after a few years without sending prior notice to its patrons). Well, I had made backups of some posts but have not done posts of the past one year ten months. Worth wasting my time or not? I’m still questioning myself. I must say that I have become slow a little bit (or a lot?) when away from home.

There were two things that seized my attention later in the afternoon. My friend asked me about what I know about life coach – a profession that becomes in demand lately. It took me some time to formulate what I know into an acceptable English. I came up with two main concepts of life coaching: defragment (an analogy with Windows OS) and tidy up personal challenges. Hope my answer helps.

Then I observed an alteration shop in a hi-end mall. Its location is a bit hidden near a barbershop but it’s ‘there’. I wondered who use the service the first five minutes I sat waiting. Before too long, customers with bag of clothes started streaming in. No wonder the shop has many branches (I read their plastic bag)! A business that hardly exists in Jakarta. No one would like to spend more for alteration in malls that they can get same service but cheaper in tailors near home. In the opposite, no such Jakarta tailors in Manila. It’s fun to observe how people come up with a business. The principle of supply and demand.

So what do I need now? Defragmentation or alteration?

Picture of Michaelangelo's David a friend sent. Thanks, Ko!

Spectrum Connections

A very Christmas here in Manila. My friend and I visited a neighbor to greet the couple the season. Their little apartment was heavily decorated. The Christmas tree touched the ceiling, the cushions had Christmas theme so all home wares, and on the foyer table was diorama of newly born Jesus. Christmas in the Philippines is big so I thought they also get together on Christmas evening. They do but with house members only. I found out later the big family will get together during the New Year. They fly to provinces to be together. That is nice.

I thought about how we connect these days. This morning I giggled when got a reply from my Ubud friend responding a junk email I sent. Like many, it’s an email with many interpretations, nothing serious but it had connected our other side – naughtiness in this regard. It was fun. Need no time, no fuss, but it connects.

Then. After Facebook, now it comes LinkedIn. I signed up after got first invitation from a woman with hundreds links. I studied quickly and decided to join. Only later, again, I felt not sure about connecting my circles through me. I have not decided what to do like I have not closed the account but I’m still considering if I would continue. I haven’t seen the benefit of being in someone’s link or linking people or my circle. I will sink it in first.

Reading year-end editions of Time and Newsweek how online network has taken part in our life, I realized that indeed the world has become smaller. A friend notified that he is close to Purwokerto now that I don’t know where he is heading. Or, I am sure that we don’t think much about long distance relationship anymore since distance does not exist – anymore.

Nice cooler Manila. I would spend afternoon reading year-end editions of some magazines. One of my favorite thing to do before a year ends. I might skip make a resolution for next year. A friend reminded to only make a resolution that I can keep otherwise no use. That’s very true. I will not be ambitious. For one because my Chinese horoscope prediction says I would have a good year in the Year of the Ox. Also I already know what I want. I want my life to be more colorful next year: new line of business, warm friendships and relationship, healthy lifestyle… That’s all (after three items and never-end dot mark?).

Picture of a cake for two in Starbucks today.

Oliver’s Travels

I didn’t remember that yesterday I traveled on Christmas day until I noticed the food tray in plane had a little memento of the occasion. I flew normal flight after a few years being a good patron of budget airlines. Yes, I saw snack, drinks, and food! It was so nice to be able to know the difference. I used to be picky when flying, maybe still when fly long flight, but later I don't fuss being economic. I don’t eat much, I have good size for a narrow seat, and I don’t fly long flight often enough.

So I was happy walking in the Hong Kong Airport again after many years of not visiting. I missed Hong Kong I used to visit several times a year in the past. The long walking to my gate for Manila connection was fun after almost 5 hours being confined in a seat reading and listening to music. I saw a jogger – yes, someone in proper outfit for jogging – jogged in the airport terminal. Not young man but he used his time very well. It must be refreshing after made time to exercise even in an unlikely place. Why not?

I arrived Manila close to midnight and after rain. The city was quiet and I saw decoration lamps everywhere marking the occasion. It must be jolly downtown. No zero Christmas feeling here while my good friends in Ubud made time to have Christmas dinner and dance on the evening so could experience a Christmas in Ubud!

Well…

Picture of a door in a restaurant in Greenhills, Manila.

Sex and the City

My neighbor had party almost all night with loud music last night. It felt so different since I used to hear zero except music of the night – frogs chorus. It took me some time before sleep to get used to it but then I told myself that such noise might happen only a few times in a year. I could sleep.

This morning I woke up to an empty house. That’s what I call a house that is too neat, like everything in its place, like houses in interior magazine. Pristine. Like no creativity around.

I did my morning ritual in kitchen while thinking about a TV series I watched 'quite a lot' the past few weeks – Sex and the City! For those who know me, it’s strange! I knew the series is popular since long but I never watched even an episode in the past. I’m not sure if any channel in was my cable TV had it. I’m not a TV watcher still. Anyway, I happened to spot the DVD in shop I used to get DVDs then I thought I might have to check it out. Why is the series become so hot for years… I’m often – if not always – behind in TV series.

I watched one episode, then two… Then hm I don’t think I would like to continue. This series is vulgar, it’s not about the sexy things in it, but the series make explicit reference to women’s feeling about men and relationships in general. That’s when I found myself pretty conservative about a relationship.

This is the first series I ever watched in DVD. I thought I would discontinue watching but… The good thing about TV series is the 30 minute length that I don’t have to commit myself to a 90-120 minute movie when I need to refresh. I watched the series while waiting for the rain, while having light meal, when fighting boredom, or waiting for the right time to sleep… It’s just convenient.

Okay, I just want to say I continue watching! Now I know the characters of the four main stars. The combination is nice. I like the main story idea about a columnist that has to write every weekend a topic about (I could say) relationships (not just sex) in New York City where the story takes place. She gathers the topic of her weekly column from her and her good friends’ experience in relationships. Yes, four of them are mature single and financially independent. It sounds so familiar!

Then I found what makes people became addicted to the series, like many, the series serve as mirror to many women. The vulgarity shows what’s behind many women and men’s mind about a relationship. The four main characters show different kind of women. The columnist is the most normal among the rest. She prefers monogamous and committed relationship and all those common stuffs of women. The other three consists of a carefree single (don’t need status, only good s**), a conservative single (nice guy, normal s**), and the one that often falls for wrong guys because she doesn’t know what she wants.

I guess the creator had to make a list of relationship issues to come up with different topics – other than the main issue of cheating. Old men, young men; size matters; (in and out bed) habits matters; try to change other; different ‘caste’ or social class; unable to commit; tutoring habit turns off… Many aspects that I found them… true! So after a season of 12 episodes, I must say, I enjoy the series.

I sent the first season DVD to a mature single I know – my good friend in Jakarta. She has been not in a relationship long now and I care because often I felt that she avoids ‘not nice situations’ in a relationship that of course it’s unavoidable. The girls in the series looked so easy and carefree about their on-off relationships though. It’s a bit unnatural but maybe… it has to be like that. Take things easy…

Picture of my favorite keris hilt.

What the Bleep Do We Know!?

Knowing that I would ask her to read my blog when she asks how am I doing, a good friend asked through a text message How are you doing apart from your life mentioned in your blog? I laughed. I told her that my life is pretty much the same I shared in blog. She could not agree Your blog only covers 1% of your life! Fine.

I smiled thinking of my friend’s remark. How well do I know my own life? If you ask me what I did all day today? I don’t even know. I moved around the house slowly getting things done. Packed up the house so everything would neatly inside when I leave, wrapped gifts for some friends that took me long time since each one got special treatment, packed up stuffs to fit one huge duffel bag only (while kept weighing). I feel like a balikbayan (literally returnee’s to one’s homeland) already. Why is so fun to carry lots of pasalubong for people in the other end?

More about what I don’t know? Even Christmas, I just realized yesterday that Christmas actually starts on the 24th! The what they call Christmas dinner. Although some people also do on the 25th. Anyway, I just had no idea and I didn’t have a chance to observe since I rarely – if not never – celebrated Christmas.

Or, it’s just me? Yumi, my Japanese salon friend, was not available today because she’s going to have a Christmas party at 5pm! Then I smelled soup in the air around 5pm. It must be neighbors preparing dinner. Hm… I made my dinner as special. I prepared it wholeheartedly. My ever favorite mango cut and yogurt.

Celebrate every day!

Picture of year-end gift from my dear friend – a sidu baku from Lembata Island.

Life as a House

A house shows the personality of the inhabitant. My friend told me after visiting my house for the first time. We made a date to have lunch at Warung Mendez then visited my house this noon. We called it a Christmas lunch (that luckily cost under $10).

We could hardly stop talking when met. My friend shared about her meeting with an American lady who works for a foundation to preserve Indonesian ikat weavers and traders. And I was so impolite taking out stuffs I shopped before the lunch date. I made a round in the morning because in Ubud we could do more than four errands in less than two hours. So we talked about the lady then massage oil, the lady then leather wax, silver, the ikat weaver then Venetian masks… Ubud has endless hidden treasures waiting to be discovered. Nice persons and stuffs.

My friend told her husband that she had found a house when she ends up single again some time. She meant the two vacant houses next to mine. Her husband was so nice to laugh out loud imagining him to be 'underground'. No! I told them that I would love them or either stay in their house now for ever. They have the most beautiful house location in Ubud. They could not be luckier.

I spent afternoon reading my good childhood friend’s blog. I had persuaded her to share her blog with me. I’m glad she shared with me in the end. Thank you, Ami. And more, I’m really happy for her that she writes her day beautifully. I always admire, always, one who writes in Indonesian. I wish I could… Not that I could not but I still need to practice to express myself well in the language. Ah… I don’t have an excuse.

Picture of two cicak engage in tug-o’-war on my curtain this afternoon.

Rapid Exchange

Ngopi somewhere? The message had sent me to shower in seconds at 3pm. It was raining all morning. I didn’t feel like going out although actually I had errands to run downtown. My dear neighbor friend managed to kick me out of cage.

I spent all morning taking clothes out of closet. It’s time to reset after months of in and out because of so many travels. I took time to categorize the clothes according to style and color. I didn’t intend to start packing but ended up selecting clothes and weighing them for my next travel. Now I really care about weight when travel although I don’t observe that close.

So my friend – that I was wondering since when he had patience to wait for me – turned out to be… accompanied by someone! Got it! He wanted me to meet his new… friend he met in gym this morning. Aha! I thought you loved me darling. We giggled about who had loved more. Well, okay, I got to know him better I think. He liked to involve me in jury. I will tell him what I thought tomorrow after he tells me how’s thing going after I left. Hm.

Interesting life in Ubud. I feel so safe to have a very dear friend who teased me all the time but also has been supportive since I moved here. He looks after me, I look after his happiness. An equal exchange.

Picture of tarantula-only shop in Tegallalang.

Empire of the Sun

It’s sunny day. What a weather! It was 23 degree Celsius when I got up and stayed at 27 before noon. Pleasant! I felt energized. I took out a stack of textile handbags from cabinet and laid them in the porch. I could smell the vapor from bit damp stuffs. The sun was strong enough to dry them. I sat in living reading back edition of financial magazines I bought last travel. I realized I need a balance: do household chores and read material with substance. I also kept myself updated with art scenes in Indonesia. So many new names with new style. Pop art is in now. Not my style but they are there!

I tried to get back to necklace I had spread on desk but I preferred to do something else. I tried to find a book to read. I went through many books from a high pile of unread books in bedroom. Reading needs a mood and I don’t know what mood I am in at the moment so after going through the pile of unread books – I have nothing to read.

I had jalan-jalan sore in late afternoon – fetching my assembled gift. Yea, that’s what I like to share a gift that I fit from different vendors. Now I have my dining table full of gifts and on the floor lay bags and shoes for my next travel. I need to put them in the sun too. Observing the disarray in the house, I could feel that the most significant holiday of the year has come closer.

I closed the day listening to jazz music with my Ubud friend couple in a lounge five minutes from home. It was not super because the Japanese saxophonist was not there but being with good friends could beat any mood. It was so nice to sit outside, away from loud music, and enjoying music with frogs singing as background. Yes, we had rice field in our back.

Picture of my porch this morning.

The Dark Knight

My Indian friends live in Perth told me the other day that they decided to make Perth their last destination, or – maybe – Ubud someday, but definitely not London where they grew up. Why? We could not take the depressing darkness in winter, they say.

Think I know how it feels. I got up in the dark this morning and it was cloudy all morning. I blame it on the weather that I felt moody and longing. I tried to visualize myself in a sunny morning. Yes, I think I could be happier and take the day more lightly.

My friend in London said that she would also prepare Hanukkah that falls on Christmas day. Then she would have many lights from Christmas tree and the Menorah with candles in the windows – lighten up London’s 4pm. She tried her best to have as many lights in the house this festive season.

I looked at my Ubud friend over unexpected lunch in a nice restaurant in Jalan Suweta. Aren’t we lucky to live here? My friend’s eyes grew bigger. Although we don’t like the fact that we deal with moldiness in cabinets, on shoes and sandals, on leather stuffs,… in the house; we are grateful to have a life without air-conditioner and so many lights to lighten up our late afternoon!

Picture of Bali Buddha restaurant in the dusk.

The Pursuit of Happyness

I was busy out and at home the past two days. I managed to start up necklace project I’d been wanting to do for months now. That did not come to me until two days ago.

I don’t have much to write so I copied this article from the zenhabits dot net.

Maybe you’re feeling down because of the financial crisis. Maybe you’re feeling overwhelmed by holiday tasks. Maybe you’re rushing around to try to get things done before you leave for vacation. Or maybe you’re just having a lousy day.

I’m feeling fine. A bit rushing around to get things done. And definitely no lousy day.

If so, you can make yourself happier – right now. In the next thirty minutes, check off as many of the following items as possible. Each one will lift your mood, as will the mere fact that you’ve tackled and achieved some concrete goals; by doing so, you boost your feelings of self-efficacy, which can boost happiness.

Although I feel happy already but checking out the list could be fun.

1. Boost your energy. Stand up and pace while you talk on the phone or, even better, take a brisk ten-minute walk outside. Research shows that when people move faster, their metabolism speeds up, and the activity and sunlight are good for your focus, your mood, and the retention of information. Plus, because of “emotional contagion,” if you act energetic, you’ll help the people around you feel energetic, too.

In fact, I’m trying to slow down a bit. I moved a bit too much the past days.

2. Count your blessings. Take ten minutes to think about all the things in your life that are going right, about all the things that other people do to help you, about all the things that you’re thankful for. In the tumult of everyday life, it’s very easy to focus on the negative and to lose sight of what really matters.

I’d like the idea of to focus on what really matters now.

3. Reach out to friends. Make a lunch date or send an email to a friend you haven’t seen in a while. Having warm, close bonds with other people is the KEY to happiness, so take the time to stay in touch. Somewhat surprisingly, socializing boosts the moods not only of extroverts, but also of introverts.

Yea! I replied to all emails in especially holiday notes that I found the senders very attentive. I should not let such gesture flushed down the Trash. I made a dinner date with my staff, Ayu, last night. It came to me I needed to be with a person, make a real connection, and simply have fun. We had nice time eating in our favorite food stall near my house. It’s just that they ran out of fish that was not good news. All in all, it was hilarious.

4. Perform an action that reflects your values. Do you think organ donation is a good idea? Sign up online to be one yourself; it takes less than a minute. Worried about climate change? Refill your water bottle from the tap instead of buying a couple of bottles throughout the day. The First Splendid Truth holds that to work on happiness, we should think about feeling good, feeling bad, and feeling right, in an atmosphere of growth. Living up to your values will help you “feel right.”

Hey I’d like the idea but organ donation has not come to me yet. Drink from the tap? Not possible without treatment in Ubud. But I agree on thinking about feeling good, feeling bad, and feeling right, in an atmosphere of growth. And how to “feel right.”

5. Rid yourself of a nagging task. Answer a difficult email, do an errand you’ve been putting off, or call to make that dentist’s appointment. Crossing an irksome chore off your to-do list will give you a big rush of energy and relief.

Very true. Like when I started out necklace project. It’s a big relief.

6. Create a calmer environment. Clear some physical and mental space around yourself by sorting papers, pitching junk, cleaning a closet, answering a few emails, filing, or even just making your piles neater. A large stack of little tasks can feel overwhelming, but often just a few minutes of work can make a sizeable dent. Try to get in the habit of using the “one minute rule” — i.e., never postpone any task that can be completed in less than one minute. And always make your bed in the morning!

Already did. Those have made me moving non-stop in my hamster cage. Preparing holiday without cluttering space. Also, I defrosted fridge the other day that I had delayed weeks since I noticed the accumulated ice. It was a lot of work since it had to be done bit by bit within 24 hours. I also cleaned the rubber and the interior. Fresh fridge for new year.

7. Lay the groundwork for some future fun. Order a book you’ve been wanting to read (not something you think you should read) or plan an excursion to a museum, hiking trail, sporting event, gardening store, movie theater — whatever sounds like fun. Studies show that having fun on a regular basis is a pillar of happiness, and anticipation is an important part of that pleasure. Try to involve friends or family, as well; people enjoy almost all activities more when they’re with other people than when they’re alone.

I ponder about this quite often lately. I’m afraid I have too much fun – with or without company. It does come too easily lately. If this sounds good then I would better continue doing.

8. Do a good deed. Make an email introduction of two people who could help each other, or set up a blind date, or shoot someone a piece of useful information or gratifying praise. Do good, feel good — this really works. Also, although we often believe that we act because of the way we feel, in fact, we often feel because of the way we act. When you act in a friendly way, you’ll strengthen your feelings of friendliness for other people.

Hm… I believe in this and have tried to do regularly. Only one item that I haven’t done yet — set up a blind date for friends. I will think about it.

9. Act happy. Put a smile on your face right now. Research shows that even a fake smile has a positive influence on your emotions—turns out that just going through the motion of happiness brightens your mood. And if you’re smiling, other people will perceive you as being friendlier and more approachable.

I had and will continue!

Some people worry that wanting to be happier is a selfish goal. To the contrary. Studies show that happier people are more sociable, likeable, healthy, and productive — and they’re more inclined to help other people. So in working to boost your own happiness, you’re benefiting others as well.

I don’t worry. I agree with the studies. I will do more of what I can do to boost my happiness today.

Picture of my work crammed the long desk.

Encounter Point

I am sure you were a bule before….that's why you connect so easily to all of us. A friend who believes in past lives wrote me. She commented on how I get along with foreigners easily while she – as a Dutch – has more Asian friends in Kuala Lumpur where she lives now. It’s interesting. I discussed about it with my friend yesterday. Ya, what had made me?

I believe in 'energy' or law of attraction. Not that I want to attract bule then I have some 90% foreigner friends. It’s the same interests that had brought me closer to all of my friends now – bule or not.

So when I met the owner of a ceramic shop I have been visiting more than three years now... I visited the shop today. I saw the owner-cum-the brain behind the business for the first time. He talked on phone in thick Sundanese accent. I didn’t pay much attention until he approached me. He wanted to know what I’m doing in Ubud.

After a few exchanges I ended up following him to see his huge kiln in studio in the back of the shop. He convinced me that I could help him market his product. When I said I only go for funky unusual stuffs, he said he knew already. That later he showed me his new products. The super funky ceramic sculptures – the same style with bowls I bought the other day. I was mesmerized looking at the details. This guy is serious!

He became excited in no time. He even had started to talk about fresh line he would do for Neru. My! He can’t be that serious! Then I have to be serious! What is this? He squeezed me in his little time between meetings just to convince that I could sell? I shall take the chance.

We made an appointment after New Year for him to visit Neru. Think I'm close to come to a new concept for Neru. Thing that I have thought long time now. I had 'dropped' a Swedish lamp designer to do collaboration because I thought it would not work. I dropped the idea before even gave it a try. I should not let this slip. I have to work on my part.

What a nice encounter, the right time before year ends. Time to recreate!

Picture of the object in question.

Girls Just Want to Have Fun

Oh I am so excited! My friend told me when I picked her up at her house in the bunnies (her term about her unlikely house location) yesterday. Ya, we had set our date a week ago that we would drive down town rrr Denpasar. I went for necklace material shopping and she was for clothing shopping in Seminyak.

It was really fun. We talked a lot on the way like two girls. We are… We made fun of her being invited to Angel-theme Christmas dinner that she didn’t feel like to go. It was hilarious because she didn’t like the idea of making an angel painting and bringing food for potluck as part of the theme. So we talk a lot about how to stay nice to neighbors but create safe distance.

We had nice shopping. I bought a short skirt of her style. She bought similar but longer. I told her that we might end up wearing the same style after five years together. She thought so. She might wear sarong more in the future. As we spend time together a lot, we could not help copying each other. The thing is my friend is 15 years older than me!

Think I had finished my holiday gift shopping. I’m happy with what I bought for loved ones. I still have a long errand list to run today. For myself, and others.

Again, I make an affirmation to tidy up my necklace business today. My friend had been successful to work on her studio again the past days. She had started textile project she liked. She felt happy for herself that she had managed to push herself to start finally. She was cute to call her procrastinating postponing so we had hot discussion about the difference between postponing and procrastinating.

Slight difference, big impact.

Picture of signboards of many businesses in Jalan Jembawan, Ubud.

Chronicle of an Escape

Having the boys taken care by their father, my Indian friend brought up a quite personal topic of hers in the noisy café we had drinks yesterday. Been busied raising the kids the past six years, she felt that she had lost connection with her being. She used to do massage, reiki, yoga, and many kinds of therapy before the eldest born eleven years after she got married.

She felt worried and didn’t feel like being in such feeling. That she didn’t have confidence to start again as a healer or to take courses like she used to do in the past. She had tried meditation and different ways to unlock her fear that might have laid very deep – she believed – but hasn’t shown success yet. Said she had all the tools but she felt unmotivated.

Sounds familiar. I told her that I experienced the same. I have great ideas but nothing become actual fact – yet. Like her also, people believe in what I could do but… And more this morning when I got this message from my good friend I just couldn't seem to get motivated to do anything and had a terrible case of feeling sorry for myself. I think economic news contributed greatly to it. Women are at crossroads?

I haven’t made any progress today. I sent out my year-end note to more than 50 close friends or were close. I like to tie up any loose ends. So see if past close friends intend to tie up the loose ends as well. Anyway, I got several nice responses right away. Opening up could inspire others to open up as well, I observed. So it’s nice if I could encourage closed ones to review past course of life as well.

Another item ticked off. I also spent some times to have a look at my laptop memory. See if I need to make a back up. I rarely did but I should think about it now. I care about pictures I took. Not super ones but the experience is precious.

Think I have to go back to meditation. Been long not doing…

Picture of Buddha statues in Tegallalang.

The Crossing

If it were not because of my friend asked me to meet his family in the market, I would have locked up at home again – enjoying my usual solitary weekend. It’s Sunday and roads looked quiet. I rarely went out on Sunday. I thought Sunday or not Sunday would have the same atmosphere in Ubud. It does not.

I’m glad that I’d gone out. Like often when I took friends around Ubud, I found new contact or new cute things I didn’t see in my rounds. So after I dropped the family off at the hotel, I worked out my idea at home then with the artist. It was fun. Ubud weather was pleasant – dry but not hot. I sat in the artist’s studio working out my idea in his computer. Thing that I thought was simple, it took an hour and a half to finish. I’m not familiar with Photoshop under Windows so it needed time to figure out things the artist could not handle. It was fun to familiarize with the track pad as well.

I ran as many errands I could do today since I plan to stay in tomorrow. Pak Agung will come to do hedging in the back of my house. The other day I met a neighbor who walked over my deteriorating hedge to pick up leaves from my garden. Not that I don’t like to share but meeting someone in my territory – unexpectedly – is the last thing I would like to experience. This is Bali. Borders should be friendly but a border is a must still. For me.

Picture of tao-tao’s hands at Neru today.

Something New

I stay home. I missed. But funny I found myself could not sit long time in computer although I had some emails to reply and a year-end note to write. I was a bit nervous since I already got three year-end emails from good friends and one mentioned about Getting organized at year end. Auch!

I had decided my next travel and talked about what’s the best thing to do in the end of the year with a friend. A retreat. Talking about what I had done this year had kicked me to finish my year-end note. It took me all afternoon plus half evening sorting out pictures to make a digi-collage of my life in 2008. It would be nice to share the highlights.

It’s tumpek wayang in Bali today. I’m not sure what celebration is but I could feel the quietness of my surroundings. Said it’s a busy day for Balinese. It must be. So it’s good that I stayed in all day.

My sister had arrived in Denver this noon my time and we are online chatting now. Time flies. Where is three weeks gone? It seems so far away now especially after holiday plan comes in picture. I brought up some significant issues to my sister’s attention before she's off for Christmas holiday. Christmas and New Year holidays could erase whatever issues in mind before the season so better do now when everything is still intact.

I feel alive just because I’m digging what I had done this year. It’s a good year for me. Confirmed.

Picture of a new art in my bedroom – Ganesha.

Oliver and Company

I’m back to my normal rut. Been raining two days, this morning I had hope for drier day so I did laundry. I also took time to decorate house by putting two metal pedestals I bought in a big sale yesterday. It’s a perfect pedestal for metal sculpture I bought in Manila last May. It lifted up my morning. Good art installation needs time.

I ran errands then met an Indian couple I knew eight years ago in Jakarta. They were customers of Frangipani but then we developed friendship during their life in Jakarta. When they moved to Perth six years ago we kind of stop corresponding. Till last week when my friend managed to Google my whereabouts. Hm. Can I hide?

They have two little boys now. So cute boys. We caught up while the boys took nap after swimming. It’s so nice to hear how my friend deals with her ‘new’ life as parent that she started late. She enjoyed her time then and now. It’s just different focus, she said. She also ‘helped’ me out narrowing down what I want to do in business in the near time. Learning other people’s suggestions to open a spa or a travel agent, she said that jewelry business is the most suitable business for me now. She had known it since we met. Yes, I once gave her a silver bracelet, my creation, that she’s still wearing to now. Interesting. It had confirmed me more about what to do next year. Next year? Yea, why not setting out something to achieve next year.

I had nice evening with the family. We had dinner at an Indian restaurant we chose with a vote. I understand that my friend chose Asian food over Indian they could enjoy anytime back home because his wife is a good cook. Anyway, I’m happy that they all enjoyed the food very much. The eldest son seemed to like me as company so we did things together. He also took picture of me. Later on the way home my friend proposed to leave the kid with me some time. Why not?

Picture of the boys.

A Tale of Two Sisters

I was back to an empty house yesterday. My sister left in the afternoon. No more Sshhh in the dark morning when we both felt each other had awoken in the other floor. No more morning giggling. And I don’t have to see my sister suffers from my smoothie. On the third day she said she’d given up the big beer glass of smoothie – my morning ritual I shared with her.

In return, she left me with bags of leftover snacks and exotic fruits she bought during her stay. She had big eyes for Indonesian snacks and fruits she could not find in her area. She also missed many Indonesian foods that we didn’t have time to have all she fancied. She had chance to try Balinese tapas in a well-known restaurant in Ubud but missed the well-known Warung Mendez. And she still missed nasi Padang terribly. No time, no time.

It’s good to be with her again after five years. We had entered different phase of life that brought us to different topics to chat about. And I feel that we had talked more about our childhood for the first time. We found out that we could have different feeling about same circumstance. She found shallot and covered lamp when she was not well terrible. It gave her not nice feeling when saw something that reminded her of the condition. And I don’t have any feeling about it although we shared a room when we were kids that I could also be affected when she was not well. Anyway, that’s just an example.

I missed her being this morning. I would just see from the positive side of being apart most of the time. We appreciate each other more and every occasion spent together is precious.

Picture of us with Bintang.

UFOS: The Pleiadian Connection

Yes, the smell of holiday is definitely stronger now. I already received two holiday emails from good friends who live far away now. Like them, I also believe that year-end email is a nice way to keep warm connection between good friends. It could be simple but ‘tells all’ about someone’s life up to now. Think I need to start composing.

But how? My sister arrived in Bali this noon. I went to pick her up in airport with my Ubud friend who had missed me the past two weeks. She kept asking what I’m going to do so taking her along to airport is a good idea. She also liked the idea. So on we went. We talked non-stop about many things along the way and back. It’s always nice to have a company.

But this is just a start. An Indian couple I know back eight years ago emailed me last night. They are going to be in Ubud this Wednesday on for nine days. Meaning? We might spend some time together. And a bit later, mother of a good friend called and let me know that she is around. Meaning? She would like to see me over lunch or coffee. And another friend in jewelry business had booked to see me this… week.

December is coming. Friends to meet, an email to compose. This is the time to rekindle friendships.

Picture of a tub for two in my friend’s house in Ubud.

Into the Great Solitude

Do you have reading material with you? My sister asked me before we left house the other day. Later I knew she wanted to make sure I have something to read when she’s trying to finish her book while waiting for our turn in any office. I reminded her that we hardly had to wait long enough also… I’d like to chat with her. Don’t shut the door!

Yes, the past ten days we were together we hardly found time to do our own things. I didn’t have time to write, reply emails, let alone read. Not just because of her but also of the decluttering project in Mama’s house and the emotional impact that followed.

Last night I had a very good time enjoying Chris Botti Live DVD – by myself. I enjoyed my sister’s company very much but to have balance is also nice. I hope she also had found time to finish her book after I left. For sure, she had time to spend long time in salon. Thing she could hardly do with me around. We are just different type. So nice that we are different.

I had busy morning like usual. My sister’s visit had made me slightly nervous. My Ubud house. Dust and cobwebs accumulate every hour. Tiles are not straight so anything I put looks improperly positioned. Things my sister hates! Actually I just learned that she had become more perfectionist than I had remembered. It seems five years is enough to refine someone. And I had changed to the opposite. I appeared more relaxed now.

So it’s good to anticipate her visit. It pushed me to look after my house thoroughly – inspect every nook and cranny. I think she needs to visit me more often, either to make me clean more, or… to let her doing it for me.

It’s Sunday. I will optimize my solitude. The smell of holiday is stronger now.

Picture of apple trees with chimney of the house in family farm in Junggo, Batu.

The Amazing Race

Sitting in lounge listening to Liszt, I felt calm although the flight was delayed two hours. Again. Malang – Ubud route often left me with little choice. Airline option. Four hours travel from Malang before departure. Bumpy ride. Delayed flight.

I should not complain more. My sister and I had finished our The Amazing Race - Day Five yesterday. We could not help calling our five-day adventure The Amazing Race. It was like one. We toured office to office, went through desks of bureaucracy, figured out ways to do things, like we were given an assignment to solve in a limited time. It was an assignment and time was limited. My sis’ stay is only short.

We worked on papers as prerequisite on Day One to Day Three. Some people told us that the trip from desk to desk is 'painful'. So we stated to just do it. We didn’t want to expect anything before started the process. There’s nothing we could do anyway so just do it!

On Day Four we tried whatever weapons we had collected to start ticking off items. We started at 8. It’s possible to start early in Malang because offices start early and moving from point to point needs less than 15 minutes. So when we drove home before 5, we could say 80% items had been ticked off from list. We giggled and had smile from ear to ear. It is so nice to do the tasks with sibling. I didn’t feel alone. I had other head to think, other hands to help, and other evil to giggle.

Back home after a long day was not a relaxing time for us. A cousin helped us tidying Mama’s bedroom and sewing room. It’s a helluva work. We couldn’t thank our cousin enough for volunteering. It’s good to have someone to do for us because it’s harder for us to decide which stuffs to keep and to go. We shared a lot of Mama’s stuffs with closed ones. Mama kept many spares of anything and of course those were left unused when she passed away.

I feel good this morning. I woke up in my own bed. What a nice feeling! I had nice morning with typical Ubud first-days ritual – cleaning. Black ants from trees resided inside a wooden chest on the foot of my bed. I could not believe they could be so quick. Like they knew I wasn’t around long time. I could not leave this house empty too long, it seems. It’s too close to nature.

Now I look forward to starting my day. The past ten days have enriched my life today in many ways.

Picture of Mama with parents and brothers.

Different for Girls

It’s my sister and my first day in Malang. We left Jakarta yesterday noon with lots of food from three days stay in Jakarta. My sister missed many so she (or we) ended up bought many from wherever we made stop. I was amazed myself when I shared with a friend the list of what we had in our hotel room. Snake-skin fruit, mangoes, rambutan, kelengkeng, pineapple tart and cheese cookies, milk, bread, Javanese snack… Now I’m lost.

But what we had accumulated on our first day in Malang? A lot! My sis, auntie and I drove up to mountain before six this morning. I’m glad that my sister and I have same biorhythm. She wasn’t jet lagged from her travel instead we faded away and awoke the same time. We used to start talking before 4:30, like this morning.

It was a nice morning. We went to see uncle who lives in family farmhouse up in the mountain forty minutes from home. We brought breakfast and snack we collected on the way. On the way back, we brought vegetables and fruits from the farm. We also stopped by school uncle manages. It’s always nice to be out in the sun. It’s Sunday, the village looked quiet.

We didn’t stop yet. With my sister around, the trip is a mix of memory, eco, and definitely culinary tours for my sister and… me. We went to a wet market downtown where we used to go with Mama when we were kids. More fruits and foods coming into car. It’s loaded!

Back home, I felt like eating anything. My sister said she rarely saw me had such appetite and later in the afternoon when I said I need to tell myself to stop eating… she was mesmerized. Me too! I ate things with gusto. Good that at the moment I could feel my appetite for food has been disappearing. Glad!

We used early evening to sort out Mama’s document. It exhausted us before too long. So many documents to read and comprehend. It has given me lesson of what I should do with my personal documents so that I would not overwhelm others and myself later.

I learn more every day since my sister arrived. How to understand our differences, to stop eating, and to comprehend things.

Picture of family farmhouse in Batu, Malang.

The Deadly Art of Survival

Four days have passed since my last post. Where does time fly? I had no time to sit and write. My days in Jakarta were spent in traffic with my sister. Only on my first day I spent a day with a good friend attending a bazaar and did a lot of… shopping. It was nice to be away from Jakarta bazaars for a while, things looked new. Jewelry was my new interest. Oh oh not new actually. I bought a lot of jewelries this time, I mean.

So yes, I spent the past two days with my sister. We have a business to do while we are in Jakarta. And surprisingly, we found out that we were not eager to roam shopping centers. It was fun but most of the time I could not ‘concentrate’ well because of carsickness. It was bad because I used to drive myself, not sitting in the back driven.

Anyway, we are happy with what we have accomplished so far. Today is going to be our last day in Jakarta. There is a document we need to legalize and hopefully we still have time to window shop. In Jakarta, we don’t have much options: business, eating, and shopping.

That’s what we are going to do today.

Picture of Jakarta car survival kit.

When A Stranger Calls

Traveling is fun. Meeting people. Airport is a dangerously fun place. A friendship could start from here. And I’m extra careful about it. I use magazine or book and iPod to filter ‘make a new connection’ mode. I liked to allow just a tiny opening. But destiny persists…

You have nice body. I envy. A woman who stood behind me waiting for the plane door to open whispered. I took off my earphone and thanked her then walked pass smiling. I was thinking if I should wait but no…

We shared a taxi in the end. Taxi was short because of bad traffic in the city. It happened we live close by. That’s when destiny controlled me. She talked I talked she talked talked talked I talked. She lives in Ubud! She is an e-graphic designer. Typical business in Ubud. Online. It’s so nice to have met her, same place, different world, different personality.

My new friend still talked when I combated cold sweat. I didn’t have enough intake before left early this morning. The traffic was not good although was not bad either. I told my friend in Jakarta through text message how I suffered in the city. She already made a full program for us tomorrow. It’s a rare occasion we are in Jakarta at the same time. It’s a small window for us before she leaves again soon for another trip.

I canceled my plan for the afternoon. Feel depleted already. I might come to a nephew's birthday get-together this early evening. Mingle with relatives. For a change.

Picture of Whispering by Dolo.

To Share or Nut To Share

My bedroom is clean. My fridge is empty from fruit and food. I had finished packing a few hours ago. I always have this feeling. When things are ready. I don’t like it. I don’t like being parted from the house.

I had nice morning with several long phone calls. My duty today was to make people feeling relieved. A cousin called to share her worry. My Ubud friend texted me about her latest development of rash she had suffered for days. I talked with everyone. I don’t have idea what I had shared with them. All I know half day just passed. I really hope they felt better after talking with me.

I had easy afternoon. I thought I would have liked to go out makan angin but in the end I enjoyed staying in. It was nice weather. I watched DVDs (sounds much but actually I only browsed). And it was nice to hear my sister’s voice again after long time. She called on her way to meet me. Often I could not believe that it takes her 24 hours to get to Asia and another 24 hour to get to Jakarta. The latter is her choice. She likes to stay overnight in Singapore. Anyway, talking with her had brought back the evil in me, in us. We giggled a lot planning out our moves, our days.

I might go to sleep early. I look forward to going to Jakarta tomorrow. Like other trips, it might be the beginning of something.

Picture of Life is A Long Song (After Jethro Tull) by Dolo.

Don’t Ask Don’t Tell

I often wonder how Balinese manage their daily life schedule. They must be present at any event in their, or related, banjar. And I, as an outsider, don’t always know what is happening in an area. There are times when I saw the whole family of every house in a neighborhood sitting outside wearing baju adat with white top waiting for something. Or, in one of my unlucky trips to Tegallalang, many shops were closed. Consulting Hindu calendar only is not enough because different banjar has different event calendar.

Anyway, I enjoy the unpredictable in my little village Ubud. That makes the place alive. Full of surprises. Like I was surprised how well my neighbor knew my routine. An Ibu tried to talk with me when I was in kitchen preparing smoothie. Ah. I jumped. It got me thinking, she must know what time I mop the floor, flush toilet, scrub bathroom floor, and have meal. The Balinese family lives just behind my wall. And I know their routine too. How often they had masak besar (with pig in pots), when the whole family get together chatting in their porch, or when father was not well.

No secret could be hid in Ubud. I giggled with my neighbor friend when we had lunch in a warung in Ubud main street. We waved in turn to our friends passing the street. They could just spot us! We could not have an affair in Ubud. My friend agreed. It’s better to let everything open, he said. It was a nice get together before we part again for weeks.

I went up Tegallalang in a very heavy rain. The water was high and the rain was so densed that it’s not easy to drive. My first time in the area in such weather. It’s so unpredictable. I was half wet got home. And when the sun out again before dark, I could not let it pass without enjoying.

I drove downtown trying to find mini entertainment in this small place. I checked out sweets in my favorite shop, second hand books, then had light early dinner in my favorite café. What a nice way to spend a Saturday night. I should do more often. Mingle with the community. Like flocks of people in white walking along the main street going to a ceremony, I spotted on the way home. How do they manage their time in this Saturday night?

Picture of Excuse Me, What Did You Say? by Dolo.

If These Walls Could Talk

I got up with the notion Nothing to lose in mind. A family issue has stirred me to the notion. And more of other things. When I asked myself, hey I don’t have anything to worry. I have nothing to lose. Life is so good in my part. If not, then it's yours, it’s not my problem. Be selfish is one of tips on Mental Clutter article I read in a blog (I could not find).

My friend also reminded me that we are responsible for our own feelings. I told her that I had believed in that since long time. I had stopped blaming others and a situation if I didn’t feel happy. She thought I’m lucky to be able to do that since she thought she is a doom thinker since she was born. She has to battle a lot to fight it. Well, I am too still fighting up to now but at least it’s easier for me after realized that it’s me in the control seat.

What a day of ‘doing nothing’… A friend commented me a luxury girl. Again, when phone calls cannot be counted as working. Fine. I went banking, grocery shopping, and got facial treatment. Then was on phone long time. I don’t like talking on phone but making an important decision needs a good communication. That’s what I did.

So I laughed when an artist I’ve known more than six years told me that he didn’t mingle a lot the past years since he liked to ruminate on his work at home. He also continued his like for fishing that made him away from home for days. I met him at the opening of his first solo exhibition since we worked together five years ago (or more?).

And later his wife ‘complained’ that she often talked to a wall. I laughed a lot because she told it as if she didn’t know that she is married to an artist. It seems the kids follow their father so the wife had prepared herself to face three walls in the house.

I feel so good to be among artists again. I longed for the feeling. I’m proud to see my artist friend blooming. I considered his painting high quality. I promised him a better exposure in Jakarta. He is really good! His paintings were deep and intricate. Indescribable.

It got me thinking to return to art business. I don’t have gut, that’s all. Like when I thought about my other artist friend who is more senior and has same good even better quality paintings but hardly ever had a show. Knowing him for years, I know what he lacks for.

Picture of the e-brochure of the exhibition.

A Room With A View

A big fat lie. I mumbled. I called my favorite warung to get a delivery service and the girl – after being in the edge of saying yes – said they could not give me the service. No motorbike! I often saw they had at least three motorbikes in front of the warung. Who doesn’t know that 80% of Balinese own and ride motorbike?

I’m sick of lies, big and small, lately. Some people can do it easily and casually. Some don’t realize what they are in, or pretend not to know. What’s happening with us? I guess life is too complicated these days that people prefer to simplify whatever complicates them rather than to face it. Now I’m grumbling something that I could just ignore. I have a better life, I should not think much about it.

So I checked out my mirror this morning. My friend who had inspired me to start up a studio yesterday. Hayaa… We are in the same stage of "haven’t started". I justified my excuse with hers. We were busy with something else and by the time we finished it’s already ‘late’ to start. So hard to understand how late is late for an artist. Ten hours to go is still considered late but my friend and I considered the mood as normal. It’s a matter of perspective.

Anyway, we tried for the second time today. I found out she was still online when noon approached. So was I. I made a little progress, just a little, and I’m not sure with her. I still have tomorrow that I could stay in. Too much time makes me less productive. Same old song.

But I’m happy and that’s the most important of all. I got an email from a once closed friend in Jakarta. She lives in Kuala Lumpur now. She said her health hasn’t been good since she moved five years ago. I didn’t expect such situation happens to her. She was a serious girl but active as well. She did painting and other art forms but today she wrote that she has mental and physical health problem. She mentioned about being out of country (as an expatriate) so long but then concluded that she thinks it’s more that she has not been spending her time to her satisfaction. So sad to hear that!

I feel blessed that I’m able to turn whatever not nice situation to something that I could bear. No ego, detaching, impersonal, and all those life secrets from Chopra’s The Book of Secrets. I really wish my good friend finds a way to help herself because no one would. I really care…

Picture of San Sebastian Church in Manila. It looks tall from the very below.