Be Social

I was lifeless the whole evening yesterday. No drive, no spirit, no energy,… I online chatted with a friend and found it hard to think clearly. I wasn’t happy to not be able to contribute enough in the discussion. How I want to always be available for friends and family :-)

I got up early and fought my laziness. I had to do something. I read more of Cooper’s book. Like I said, it's like reading story of my life. Well written. Before dawn I decided to clean my Gmail inbox. I like Gmail because emails are in thread, so easy to delete the whole conversation, unlike Yahoo mail.

I went through conversation one by one and deleted if necessary, or replied. The rule about email says we don’t have to give the final word but replying properly is advised. I replied to many nice gestures old friends shared. Rita in London missed me a lot. Rita in Germany loved Saint Petersburg. Susana shared me her Buddha supplier. Many many nice expressions I could not abandon.

I’m happy to see my lean inbox, only current and relevant issues. And I feel good to share my time with loved ones. Peng sent me text that she could not go to museum with me because of stomach upset. Another friend suffered the same that had to go to hospital. Hm. I made up my mind. I had to go.

It’s a farewell museum tour by a Heritage member. She is German that has lived in Jakarta long time. It’s her passion to have vast knowledge on Indonesian culture. I learned later from my anthropologist friend that she is also one. Today she shared her expertise by giving a tour in bronze section of Museum Nasional. I love bronze.

An hour and half is maximum for me to just stand (I could move without sitting for hours). The tour was thorough, covered only small part of the museum but definitely interesting. I liked to know about Majapahit goddess’ accessories and different person has given me different knowledge of different accessory and its meaning. Nice to collect knowledge about things I like.

Martine wanted to see me in Plaza Indonesia lunch time. I was in battle for a while. I didn’t feel like to socialize but.. I better called her. So I called. She had a friend from embassy to have lunch with. I could be off. I didn’t feel like fitting self with person I don't know. I went on with my plan, having Chinese chicken salad and chai latte :-)

My visit to Projectshop clothing shop is always dangerous. I ended up buying 6 pieces of linen in discounted price. It’s worth. Linen stands through time. That’s how I justified my shopping. And later Martine ‘blamed’ me for making her shopping 6 pieces at Mango. She said she's depressed and missing me. I didn’t tell her that I did the same :-) Shopping is shopping. Nothing to do with depression. Or has?

I’m going to relax a bit this evening. Reading. I haven’t fixed SGD tag on my necklaces. I want to be away from business for a while…

Photo of painting by Sadu.

Idea Please

Another day that started at 4:00. I didn’t know what to do. I have ‘new’ material but was not in the mood to create. I took out my first creation in Ubud – first of my funky ethnic line. I fixed the silver ring and toggle. Done. I’m happy with it (shown in photo). I tried to create using four mamulis I bought in Ubud. Definitely too ethnic and funky. I covered even smaller demand now. Trial is free. I move on.

It’s another bazaar day in a prestigious hotel. It guaranteed more ladies to come as they like luxurious hotel more :-) but.. The crowd was okay. I was just not so positive about the day, that’s what I felt. It’s bad I know but I could not stop. So I just sat with Benny and talked about many things. He is a man with 1001 ideas. He is a true artist.

He sold one necklace for me while I was away. I realized more today that I’m not a good stall attendant. Cousins have told me many times that there’s something in my appearance that scares people away. One said that I have too strong aura. I don’t know what it means but I could feel that yes… people don’t feel comfortable with me. I should have realized earlier so could ask Adi to replace. That’s okay.. I learn.

I might not sell good but I also learn from Benny about operating business without wasting overhead cost. He is clever. I invited him to do business together in Ubud. I have plenty of ideas to work on together. We planned a trip to dig more about the possibilities. It made my day. I’m bubbly again to revamp Frangi and Pallava.

I’m having lazy evening now. I don’t like when I’m not productive but I may need a break for a while before pushing self more…

Wrap Up

I slept early last night. Now I know that I need sufficient light to function well. I don’t have enough light in my studio for reading and making necklace. Sure I can see but still too low to be able to see well. That’s my next project, to arrange good lighting but economical so I can function longer.

Same in the morning, actually I awoke early but knowing that I could not do much I got back to sleep. Hm not so productive. I had short morning, enough for checking emails and wrapping up the house. I kept the kitchen all clean, took the garbage out, and covered my studio with sheets. I learned about dust pattern in the house. My bedroom has bamboo ceiling and that’s bad, plus cicak and gecko poo :-) Downstairs is better, normal dust.

I got out of house at 10:00 sharp. My driver cum body guard, Pak Ana, came on time. Body guard? He looks like one. He is skinny but cool in appearance with dark glasses and tiny ponytail. I could not miss his car coming because he likes to have loud house-music when I’m not in. So funky.

I planned to make some stops before airport. First, I checked wi-fi connection in office near house. It’s good. Next time I come I would buy voucher from them. It seems cheaper and more reliable than my CDMA, at least I can be online 24/7. So nice to know that Ubud becomes more hi-tech by time. Wi-fi connection company is plenty and cheap.

I made quick shopping downtown for my new necklace line. It’s just nice to have a bit material to start materializing the idea soon. I also tried to drop by my stone sculpture supplier but missed the place. And one more stop at a big silver jewelry on the way. Hm.. scary expensive.

As part of making my last day full, I dropped by silver home-shop I used to go to buy toggles to stock up. Like ritual, sure I had lunch at Warung Made nearby. Pak Ana knows what to do. He is my time keeper. I just tell him what time I have to be in airport then he would warn me the time left. So nice.

I’m in airport now, not knowing if my cabin luggage could be in. The check-in counter lady warned me that flight attendant might ask me to release the bag to put in cargo. Grr.. Budget airline. So many warnings that scare me.

My Jakarta life is on again starting this evening. I will have busy week starting tomorrow. I look forward…

Photo of tiny carving from Lombok that awaits me in my studio.

Nice Sunday, Nice Studio

I didn’t have private quiet morning as Ngurah and Pak Agung came at 6:00. They thought I asked them to come that early. Now I understand that too much information could mislead. I was a bit awkward, glad they did downstairs so I could have my space in my studio upstairs.

My studio? Yes, for the first time I made my long table a studio I had dreamed. I moved my computer from near bed, opened business files to calculate Singapore price, and opened stone and stuff packages I bought yesterday. It was a nice morning with sun. I opened all curtains and sliding windows to feel the green surrounds me. Luxury I could not get in Jakarta. Green view and light breath.

I was quite productive. I finished pricing but not making many necklaces because I don’t have the stone for combination with me. Bringing the whole set becomes important and I could not imagine how heavy it could be. While making my own funky necklace, I got an idea to make a new accessory line for Pallava – exclusive funky ethnic. I hardly liked the idea to mix home accessory with accessory but I have an idea how to present and mix with other funky stuffs. See, in Bali it’s so easy to get an idea. The more I see, the more ideas come in.

I enjoyed my time that I didn’t want to go out. I had shower under sky in the afternoon. So nice to shower under sun looking at kites and… gecko’s tail in the roof :-) I felt fresh to continue processing my ideas. How I want to jump to materialize it soon. Sometimes it’s funny that I have idea that needs 2-3 cities to make it happen. I feel many artists do the same, collecting things from many places to make an artwork. Hm.

I also took more pictures of the house to update collage I have made to ‘introduce’ the place to some close friends. It’s so nice to see the pictures. It seems that I fall for this house seriously :-)

Tin and Susana asked me to buy them statues from Bali to be sent to Washington and Mexico. It’s coming now demand to fill up container. Actually I’m not sure if I have patience to hunt and research for product finishing to meet their requirements. I might not be the right person. I’m very much lone businessman. Well, I don’t know. Let’s see if I could just pull my network string.

I could not wait till I come and work in my Ubud studio again. I will bring homework to do in Jakarta to make my next visit more productive. I’m bubbly happy.

Photo of my busy studio and green surrounds me.

All Spiders Great and Small

I could not do much last evening. I was sleepy before 21:00. I tried to sleep but it took time in a new bed with bedding below my smell standard :-) – I put my emergency Bali sarong to survive the night. I had the fan (no aircon here) on so it’s a bit noisy on wooden floor. Actually I didn’t know whether I need it till I awoke midnight chilled. I crawled to turn off the fan and picked up blanket from downstairs. I slept well till morning. I’m happy to know that I don’t need aircon here.

I wore tee and shorts, and started working in kitchen. It was quite early, I saw Pak Pugeg sweeping the garden. He was surprised to see me ‘bathing’ the kitchen. Yes, I wiped the tile, fridge, and stove. It was black! I was not wrong, it’s clean in the surface or it looked clean.

I was a bit overwhelmed by the amount of work I should do because every corner needed my touch. I knew that. I called Ngurah and Pak Agung to come to help. They also brought an old long table from Pallava for my desk. I asked Pak Agung to wipe clean the windows upstairs while I did downstairs. I gave 10 pieces of cushion covers plus my mosquito net to Ngurah to put in professional laundry, then I put all cushions under hot morning sun in verandah.

I was amazed by dust and dirt around house. I found many many spiders, all sizes, tiny to giant. I wondered if this house ever be cleaned. They must have thought the house was still clean. I believe they hardly swept the floor either. I wiped clean the wooden seats and tables. I just hope that’s not dust accumulated in two weeks only because I don’t want to face same amount of dust two weeks from now. It’s… too much!

I changed a bit of my bedroom layout. It looks more spacious now. And it took about four hours for Pak Agung to finish window and floor cleaning in my bedroom upstairs. I dismissed him lunch time – a bit late though. We promised to meet again tomorrow morning to do first floor. I had done first floor but only wiping the furniture and sweeping the floor. I need same treatment for the windows and floor. I haven’t touched the bathroom, I was too tired and bathroom can wait :-)

I considered the house cleaning done after I put a new kilim in my bedroom and little knick-knack on some tables. I treated myself an afternoon out after the cleaning. I had lunch in a warung on my way to Mbok Yan’s place. Nice bee-hoon and papaya juice. I had pedicure with Mbok Yan and long chat about life and business. It’s always fun to know more about what people do. And later, she was kind to take me on her motorbike to downtown Ubud checking out space for business. The trip gives me idea about what to do.

It’s in my plan I bought some stones to make necklace. It happens the shop I used to go in Seminyak has outlet in Ubud. It’s good that the outlet has different selection. I bought some strands to give me something to do tomorrow and half Monday before home. I don’t allow myself to shop more in Legian. I have enough for 2-3 batches at home.

I had early dinner at Tutmak by Ubud soccer field, my favorite place. Ubud could surprise me both ways: too expensive or too cheap. I spent less than USD 5 for both meals I had today and USD 1.5 for laundering 10 pieces of cushion covers! Good meal! And later I stopped by a very nice shop. It gives me a lot of idea for Pallava and my future shop. Very nice shop! So I was happy to walk towards home. Pak Ana had waited for me in his post in front of Casa Luna after I bought few groceries. I feel convenient with Ubud friends and services. It’s their friendships that count!

What a nice day I have! This house is more homy and I really feel… I’m home.

Life Adventure

It’s a special day. I got up early as usual and spent time finishing The Secret. I didn’t have long morning but… long. I should have taken 8:20 flight instead of 11:00 but it’s too late. I wasted half day. It’s so hard to predict mood before flight although once I hold the ticket.. that’s it! No mood check.

My adventure began since I checked in because I didn’t get seat at Garuda so I flew budget airline, Adam. I had 27.5 kilogram overweight that cost me fine compared to send the package by air. The flight was about 20 minutes late but fine too. The cabin was not bad although the seat seemed small – arm to arm. Glad my next was not big, I could read untouched :-)

It was a real moment for me to enter the house for the first time. Would I still like it? I do. I’m happy to feel the same excitement when entering the house. I entered every room to take note what I might need. This house is clean in the surface but not up to my standard. I had imagined what kind of weapons I need to make this place mine :-)

Pade was off to Lombok the same minute I arrived airport. It’s perfect, my visit will be focused on the house. I celebrated my day by myself at Casa Luna. I chose a special spot and wrote a long shopping list. I shopped after late lunch. Again I felt like a student going out of town to live by self. I bought many cleaning weapons and little pan for I don’t know. I was not feeling well, I felt like lack of sleep, or masuk angin for I had very late lunch. I intentionally delayed my lunch because I wanted to enter house first – no other distraction before.

I got home at 18:00, it’s twilight, I had little time to adjust myself with the house lighting. I smiled to the house Please welcome me. And two minutes later, my wish was granted by a loud gecko from bathroom. I ran out to call Pak Pugeg. He looked easy That’s Bali. Glad the gecko and I have mutual understanding later. He could have a good time when I’m not in the bath, when I’m there, he’s hiding. Okay, win-win.

Funny I found out my bedroom has no light except from one table lamp after I changed the bulb while downstairs is gleaming with light. So I worked mostly in the dark because I decided to pool my activities in the master bedroom upstairs. It’s more private and warm.

I have many things to do in the morning and I look forward…

Photo of Buddha necklace I wore today with my all white outfit.

What do you do?

I could not run away this time. The Heritage called me to be in the BA Museum revamp team ten days ago. I turned down nicely, I told them I don’t have enough time to commit to such project. They didn’t reply but sent me invitation to attend kick-off meeting today. I smiled when I read. It’s good in a way, it gave me time to reconsider my decision. I hadn’t responded till I met the Heritage chairwoman last Monday. She told me that I could not walk away without finding at least two persons to replace. That’s not the reason I came to the meeting today. I had decided before I met her, I should give myself a try.

I thought the team would be a little bigger, like more than eight persons. It turned out to be only six including the chairwoman. It’s surprised me that I’m not the only Indonesian this time, there’s another guy who apparently has been involved in many museum projects under the Heritage. What a vast world we never met…

It’s an interesting project I must say. The Heritage was asked by Jakarta government to give small museums around Jakarta a new presentation to attract more people to appreciate the house collection. Abdullah is a famous artist during Soekarno era. He painted realist style or considered to be ‘old style’ – European colors and techniques. He died in 1993, killed by a robber who’s after his watch collection, not his painting. It’s a tragic death. The collection is housed in his house where he was killed.

Anyway, he is long forgotten. One hardly remembers he existed because his works are limited and more in private collection because many of his works are portrait. The museum is chosen to be the prototype of museum revamp around Jakarta. And later, the museum staffs will be trained to do the same in other museum in other cities around Indonesia. It becomes a huge project by then so what we do now is considered tiny in such picture.

It seems that we have to start from scratch. Abdullah history is buried by time. Hardly one knows where his Thai wife and daughter live. Why he had extensive volume of rose gardening, or travel books. I don’t agree to take those books out his library although it seems to have little significance with his work. There must be a link, or that made up his life. His passion for rose and travel. I think.

We made a long list of what we need to do. Vic wrote the ideas on Post-It then stuck them on white board so we could alter and see the grouping. And suddenly they ‘assigned’ me to be in research department because I had the idea to trace his buried history through articles or news ever published. Hm.. No wonder people don’t come up with idea :-) I don’t mind to do it though but I also thought about my not-yet-start Mama’s living memoir that needs same extensive research. We wrapped up the meeting quickly as our stomach had started to rumble.

Of five persons in the team, I only know two – the chairwoman and a Dutch artist. The other two I only corresponded through email for National Museum translation project plus the only guy I never met. We had lunch together though after the meeting.

It started again. Like in all new friendship, we have to go through “who are you” process. I’m bad in this department. I often speechless when people asked me what I do. Ya, what I do? What it looks like a simple question can entail to more questions: how do you know about Indonesian art, how do you become involved in many projects in the Heritage, what’s your background, how long have you been in Indonesia, what do you do basically?

After lunch, they all know that: I don’t eat much, I calculate my intake, I do yoga, I’m going to spend more time in Ubud, I design accessories, I have metal and wood workshop, I set high quality standard in my workshop, I plan to write Mama living memoir, I once dreamed to have cafe cum gallery,… While I tried to list things I do, again I heard people say See, we know more about you today.

Photo of painting by Sadu, Ubud.

Open Cage

“Be open to whatever comes next.” – John Cage

I got that quote from Keri Smith’s blog. Yes, this morning I spared time to blog hop a little bit after not doing very long time. I started with checking numerous posts I hadn’t read at Jim Paredes’ blog. There’s always something new in people's blogs that affect my thought and idea about life. They are very much thinker, live their life ‘with care’.

Smith is an artist. She incorporates her daily life in her artwork. Very interesting way to appreciate life through art. Below is short description about her well known book The Guerilla Art Kit:

“The Guerilla Art Kit shows how small artistic acts can start a revolution. Keri Smith, noted author of Living Out Loud and the blog Wish Jar Journal, uses her unique drawing and handwriting style to help anyone find and release their inner artist or activist. This visually exciting activity book—full of step-by-step exercises, cutout projects, sticker ideas, and more—has both fun assignments and handy tips to help you unleash your creative energy into the streets, where you can really make an impact. From the quick exercises—leaving books for strangers to find, chalking quotes on the sidewalk—to the more involved—making a "wish tree," guerilla gardening, or making your own stencils—The Guerilla Art Kit contains everything you need to put your message out into the world.”

I was inspired to do some of her ideas like collect simple thing we find daily and turn it into an artwork. I once fetched a large thick leaf from my Papuan supplier’s trash in Bali. The leaf was half burned. I didn’t wash, just wiped clean, and put it in one of my collage. It gives different meaning to the collage. This morning I got another idea which is actually classic but feels new to me. I dug my new notebook storage to get the right notebook to start collecting stickers/stubs/funky receipt/strange leaflets we find in our journey. I used to know kids who did that but isn’t it fun to return to kids’ way to see life? Like collecting life reference? I will try to do from today on :-) Why not?

Last night, I was surprised to find myself needing to mood check in responding to Dumbo’s offer to have lunch today. That was in my glossary months ago, like every step I made I need to use mood-check mantra. Dumbo reminded me that I used the mantra because I had empty slots of time so I had the luxury to mood check before doing something. Right. I don’t have much empty slot now. Not that I lost the luxury, I gain it!! I have the luxury of being busy and that’s good!

I also read a few pages of The Secret. I stopped reading for a while as many new books coming into my collection. I found this book yesterday when I selected books for Ubud house. It’s again another reminder book for me. I realized that it’s so easy for us to be back to our pattern with negative thinking, or not necessarily negative, but not positive either.

I reflected how I got Ubud house. My! I have projected the days I live in Ubud since 4-5 years ago. I always know that Ubud is my place, now and ever, but it takes time to actually shift lifestyle from metropolitan to cosmopolitan little village in Bali. It has a thin similarity between two places though that could help me making a smooth shift, both places have diversity.

I also agree with The Secret page 116 about “acting as if” to speed up the realization. A friend has a big Bali wall map on the wall that I thought it’s too big but he has a very good reason for it. Nothing is too big for a dream. Nothing comes instant but “acting as if” definitely helps. I believe in that as I am in now. I could feel it when I packed a bit of every thing from my life now to start a new life elsewhere. I would never start to materialize my dream if I never start, even small, somewhere. And now is the time.

I stayed home all day. I took pictures of the last batch of necklace and made it into e-flyers that I sent in the afternoon. I was online chatting with Ade and Pien almost all day. It’s funny that we could see where we stand through chatting. I have known both at least 15 years but still I could not anticipate how they would react to my plan to move to Ubud. I have to be careful :-)

I was quite productive although it’s hot all day. The day seemed long and short at the same time. I had to take shower before 17:00 to prepare myself for early farewell dinner with the art group. Peng and I organized a farewell dinner for 5 ladies. It was hilarious as we are "the last girl standing". We shared the gift but not the speech. I asked Peng to make the speech, she is good at it. She gave brief description of every one from her point of view and asked the person to make speech to respond, then I handed the memento – a silver pill box made of Indonesian coin and Keith Haring’s style salt and pepper ceramic container I bought in Tegalalang. They liked the little present and the card (signed by every one) that was chosen according to their character.

We had dinner in an Indonesian restaurant, a really nice one. Everyone thanked me for the choice which I didn't even remember I had recommended. Being an information center for years, I don’t realize if I actually mumble it out. Good!

Seven of us. Chatty as usual. We talked about the feeling of moving. How unfamiliarity scares us. We planned to make two more art visits before the first lady leaves next month. Still have time to have lunches and other fun meetings. Better clutch the cage while still can..

Photo of 101 Dots.

Life Shift

It’s still 8:00 in the morning when I finished adjusting two necklaces for my two customers. I feel blessed to have Adi who helps me as morning messenger. I really need him because of my business system: home delivery. I feel that people are comfortable with such system, anything that comes to door automatically is luxurious.

I didn’t plan to go out today as I wanted to maximize finishing the last batch of necklace before Singapore and preparing Ubud house. I did both in parallel. Again, Adi gave me a hand. I selected new kilims from storage and new bedcovers from India ex Pallava leftovers. I have started to wash new sheets and bedcovers the past two days.

I also made time to select little stuffs I really like and/or that have nice memories to warm my new nest. This is the only thing I could do because I don’t have frame with pictures I could take. I often ask myself whose picture I should put on my desk. Chiko? I’m not narcissist enough to put my own:-)

And later I remember this is the right time to give my Bali clothing a chance to be worn more often. I have quite many clothes that suit Bali atmosphere more than metropolitan life. I dug my cabinet and took out many many tees, tank tops, and funky pants I bought in little alley in Ubud. Go local, a friend said to me. I agree. I brought just enough for a few days as first batch. I didn’t dig more. I have other heavier stuffs to bring.

I feel like I’m going to live in boarding house, the same feeling back 17 years ago when I moved to Jakarta. I know now how it feels to have two places to live. I often heard Peng softly complained about the hassle of opening and cleaning her apartment in Melbourne when she comes from Jakarta, then closing and cleaning before leave. Like two days out of seven day stay wasted. I can imagine. I haven’t thought about my laundry system as I’m going to be on-off still.

And for the first time after a very long time, I had two hour nap in sofa!! I was soo sleepy that I could not work after lunch. I turned on one more aircon and intentionally slept in sofa. I slept like cat, so deep. I awoke two hours later not knowing where I was and when. I hope I didn’t pass time tunnel :-)

I have another ‘empty’ day tomorrow to do more preparation.

Photo of The Self in Each Finger (bronze, 2004) by I Pande Ketut Taman from Peliatan, Ubud, born 1970.
Photo is taken at Neka Museum, Ubud.

Description of the artwork:

Each finger has some kind of social symbol and meaning:

1. thumb = mother = protection, shelter
2. index finger = father = protection, leadership
3. middle finger = pot-bellied man = selfishness, arrogance
4. ring finger = bride = faith, devotion
5. little finger = child = innocence, sweetness, affection

Every person has all of these characteristics, which are not far from the self as represented by the hand. When combined together, all of them create a unity and a complete person.

Blessed

Last night I didn’t prepare my stuff for attending bazaar. I was tired making necklaces and was not so excited. The organizer was British women association but the hotel has low ceiling that gives us pressured feeling. I don’t know. I simply felt uncomfortable.

I made quick preparation in the morning and hoped not to miss anything. Traffic was slow because of an accident. I silent prayed for the victim(s) and thought about my selling day. I should not have negative feeling so I turned over my feeling. I got a table right in front of the entrance. Many people thought I was lucky. I must be.. I smiled a lot and felt energized. My table arrangement got many compliments. The lady who gave me tips on Singapore fairs was very sure I could conquer Singapore market. She was sooo nice. She really liked to talk with me.

I made tour to greet acquaintances. Been in and out many bazaars the past ten years, I have built network. Many old faces, some new. I’m among minority who change product at least three times in nearly a decade. I started with home decoration, then glass beads accessories with my cousins, and finally semi precious stone jewelry now.

I spoke with Bregas. He has taken over the ceramic empire from his father. They used to have their products in Frangi long time ago. I know Bregas since he was in middle school and now he has managed the company 7 years. Where does time fly? I admire his spirit to only do art after finished high school. He doesn’t plan or hasn’t planned yet to go for further study. Great parents too to be able to ‘accept’ that!

His mother creates a unique business recently. Business from the heart I believe. Laundry for batik. She washes, treats and puts the batik in a box along with description about the motif and a pouch of traditional spice to keep batik dry and smell good. It’s a brilliant idea to create such business. Many ladies like to have and wear batik but when it comes to maintenance… We need Ibu Harriadi. Great business woman!

Bazaar was quiet as usual. I met some friends, frequent bazaar goers. So nice to chat and exchange information about necklaces. Hazel makes for Australia market and Sabine for German. We shared sources (none to beat Bali price). Nice.

I’m lucky to sell 3 necklaces to a lady who reminds me of Queen Elizabeth. Aged, healthy, serious, soft, and nice. Of course she bought my conservative line, not chunky ones, although it’s also asymmetrical and ‘strange’. She also bought one with irregular chunky stone for daughter-in-law’s birthday tomorrow and one for her daughter. Nice choice. She gave her address because I need to deliver after adjusting the length tomorrow. That’s when I know that she is a well known person. She deals with art. Now I know my customer’s profile better. It must be someone who deals with art because they could ‘understand’ my concept better. And that’s not many around…

After noon time, the bazaar was almost empty. Some vendors had given up. I did not. I spent time talking to neighbors and reading Coelho. So glad I didn’t forget to take a book. I stayed till time ended at 15:00. I’m happy with my sales today.

I only had an hour before my next ‘study’. I went with Peng to Heritage library for a talk by Muller about Kamoro people in Papua. I have seen him ‘in action’ twice two years ago in Kamoro art auction held in an ambassador house. He is a real expert. He is lucky to be able to like his job in community affairs of a well known mining company. He becomes expert of the community that is Kamoro people, a group of Papuans living along the south central coast of the island of New Guinea. He promotes their art (mainly wood carvings) the past ten years to be known as well as Asmat art. He also has programs to convince Kamoro people not to let go their traditional culture as they participate in modern world. Muller used Bali as example.

He gave us a tour through nice pictures of the people’s lifestyle and nature, also the show of carvings and some simple traditional outfits. He always has a few examples of Kamoro carvings wherever he goes and sells them in the end of the talk. If I had extra space I would love to buy the funky caterpillar carvings. Very clever.

Anyway, I’m tired but glad I went. So nice to have Peng around, we kicked each other to broaden our horizon. I told her about my house in Ubud that she considered me very lucky. I say so. Some close friends congratulated me through texts and emails, and that makes me feel blessed even more.

I ‘negotiated’ the day to enter the house for the first time with Mbok Yan. I didn’t remember that a ‘good day’ exists in some cultures (including Java) because for me any day is a good day but apparently Bali follows it with real care. I respect but I have quite tight schedule till mid June. I was a bit panic. We have sorted out the day though. I will make it BIG.

Photo of my stall today.

What Works for Me

Yesterday, I was nervous almost all day before Mbok Yan had the Ubud house key with her. Like any agreement, nothing is sure before actual execution. I trust the owner but something can happen beyond our control. To remind Mbok Yan, I sent her text message in the morning and called her in the afternoon. There’s nothing I could do because she was still at work to 18:00.

But of course I got the key in the evening!!! I felt like celebrating! I was high the rest of the evening. It’s like a dream comes true. I just remembered – when a friend asked how I found the house – actually it’s me who found the house, not my ‘agent’ Mbok Yan. We went to see the first house, the one inside a little ‘jungle’. I saw the back of a house with nice white curtain in windows downstairs and upstairs. I asked Mbok Yan but she thought that it could not be available. I insisted to see the house after the ‘disappointing’ first house.

I must say. I like it at first sight. I became quite nervous knowing the other bungalow has been rented for a year by an American who hardly came. And the other was still occupied. I forgot when I got the information but it was quite immediate that I knew it would be vacant in two days. My heart was dancing with joy but still… I hadn’t known the rate. It scared me since the first house cost me way over my budget (for such quality and atmosphere).

I think later the day I knew that the house is affordable – for me. It’s a bit over my initial budget but I could not get any better, I had to revise my budget :-) So that’s the story. I was about to say yes without checking the inside because I thought I had no time to check in the next morning. I was so lucky that morning when I came to take pictures, the girl who occupied the house was about to go and let me in to see. The house is very me. I had the picture in my mind since my architect friend offered me to design a yoga studio with Indian touch. That’s all I need, two-story building with empty space – studio type. Ah it’s perfect. I am so excited.

Today, I worked quietly making necklaces since 4:30. I was high in creating. I was thinking that working should not be this easy. I don’t feel like I'm working, it’s more having fun, but of course I could not agree with the notion. I am working.

Mama gave me hint that she still wanted me to work using my academic knowledge. I care about what she feels but I also ask myself if I really want to do. I told her the next day that I wish I could do both but somehow I know it won’t work. I cannot excel in both at the same time because I like to focus on one. And doing art is my choice now. I reminded Mama that it’s good that I have both: the academic and art sides. I have options to use either or both. I guess it calmed Mama – even for a while :-)

Well, what looks so easy to do for me actually it doesn’t apply to every body. So I can still count what I do as working. Now, I also need to convince myself :-)

Photo of the house front door.

Loose Control

I got up fresh this morning. I have ideas to make necklaces but preferred to read more of Cooper’s book. He helped me to define my feelings and thought. We have same fear, same sensitive feeling, and same life values. Very interesting to read things about the way I lead my life but not written by me :-)

Meanwhile, I feel that my control is a bit loose lately. It hits especially my sensitive skin. I noticed that I could be badly affected by mosquito or insects bites in Bali since February. I hardly cared about mosquito but not anymore, especially in Bali, I would chase them and cover myself carefully. And sun becomes my enemy too. Not that I don’t like being tan but I notice that “too tan” is not good for my skin. I haven’t applied proper sun block to my arms and legs, only face. Last night I noticed my thong strap leaves mark on my toes. That’s the first time I saw real color difference in my legs.

The recent Bali trip gives me new scar. It seems that I got caterpillar hair from somewhere, not from botanic garden I’m sure because I only felt itchy in airport on my way back. The rash is wide and uneven. Grr… Insect-bite cream doesn’t help. The prescribed cream I got last week works better but haven’t shown any significant improvement. I’m a bit worried that the swollen rash leaves mark on my shoulder. I think this is the first time I got rash like that. Ugh…

My pain hasn’t ended yet. This morning I cut my finger real deep. I didn’t know that my new hand blender has sharp blade. The one I had before didn’t have. It’s so deep that I could not stop the bleed. I had to press it hard with bandage for hours to stop.

Am I getting old that I lose ‘awareness’? Don’t tell me..

Anyway, I have fixed my computer. I had tried to fix myself but could not. Even it took time for the IT boy to figure out what’s happening with the hardware reading. It works now though. I’m happy because I could see pictures I made and sure I could also share with you again.

Saturday night. I’m going to make more necklaces, funky conservative this time.

Photo of Mama and Ibu Dahlia at Pallava.

No Time

I’m supposed to go to Yogya this weekend to attend the opening of Affandi Festival to commemorate the 100th year. I committed to attend and cancelled a few days later. I could not do. I was emotionally drained after Bali trip that I could not face my relatives in Yogya. Even I refused to chat with them while I was in Bali. I know now, do one at a time.

This morning I turned down nicely an offer to help Museum Basuki Abdullah to revamp. I wish I had the luxury to join the creative team. I didn’t join Heritage creative pool and now I’m still trying to find someone who can replace me translating hundreds of old negatives labels for Museum Nasional.

Prioritize. I laid out my plan to live more in Ubud this morning and got a good result. I planned it based on life budget I made last night. There are times in life when we really have to sit and lay out a master life-plan. Defragment. I need to do more but feel that I could do better in Ubud, more focused.

Now I understand that time is precious. I understand more, I mean. I missed some friends’ email, I missed chatting foolishly over phone, I missed strolling in mall (no not really). Someday my friends might miss me too as I don’t have 24/7 internet connection, or I won’t be in Jakarta most of the times. I feel funny to change life rhythm in my age now. I use narrow opportunity to grow!

I spent all morning working on my half finished necklaces from Hess. She is going to the US for three weeks tomorrow so our ‘drug dealing’ will stop for a while. I was not productive in fixing toggles. So strange because other days I could fix it in less than 5 minutes but not today. Maybe I need to do it on my idle time – not one that cramped with planning. Hardly had time to think :-)

Photo of painting by Sadu, Bali.

Simply Happy

I had long uninterrupted sleep last night. Oh so good, I must say. It’s strange to wake up looking at brighter sky. So rare to see. I often watched the sky changing color from dark to bright. I stayed in bed for a while.. Thinking. Talking. Negotiating. Decided. I got up and sent text messages to Mbok Yan and Pak Ana, the driver. I decided when to meet both, thing that I could not do last night.

I walked to the house I wished to rent. I wanted to feel the neighborhood as I walked from hotel. For unknown reason, I feel ‘fit’ with the neighborhood – Penestanan village. It’s strange because the area is like forest (densed with big trees) – scary for many people because it’s dark in the evening but I feel safe there. Actually I only know the neighborhood since I stayed for a week for Ubud festival last September but I already build a life there. Now I’m very well surrounded by people I know. This village is known for its bead work. Many houses have little shop selling full beaded handbags and decoration. One Waka hotel is in the area too. Anyway, I feel at home in Penestanan.

I met Pak Pugeg, owner of the two bungalows. He was still tidying his little room in front of his bungalows. He also owns some villas not far from the premises. Later I asked him who designed the bungalow because it’s less Balinese style: allow sunlight in the house, high ceiling, good bathroom design, bright kitchen with good ventilation, many nice things. His son did and he was in construction before. Perfect.

The bungalow was still occupied till tomorrow. Lucky I met the Canadian girl who occupied it now. She let us in to see inside. Just one step I know.. I liked the place. And I liked it even more upstairs, the main bedroom. I liked it because it's still spacious although furnished. I could still have space to decorate to make it my nest.

I talked more with Pak Pugeg on my way out. Apparently, he liked me! That’s important for me. As an old Balinese who could not speak Indonesian well, he could pronounce my name perfectly many times. He remembers! He said he would never forget. If proper, I wanted to hug him. He is sooo kind. And what’s the bonus I got on my way out??? A marble-cake color, hairless, happy dog!! He would be my buddy. That’s for sure.

My neighbor? Two luxurious villas, a little villa owned by aged American lady, a spa, an American painter (Symon style), and a nice gift shop in front. Again, very nice neighborhood.

I felt like reborn after meeting Pak Pugeg and Mbok Yan. Warm persons. Mama could feel my happiness when I told her about my house. She looked happy (or… I’m not sure). We went to see Pallava and straight to Kuta to see "ground zero" (where the first Bali bomb took place). Mama and Ibu Dahlia had never been.

I took them to bag, silver, ready-made accessories, and stone shops – places I often (if not always) went when I was in Seminyak. Even I took them to have lunch at Warung Made, my dining place. It's nice to have Ibu Dahlia, Mama's ex student, accompanied Mama. I learned more about Mama from her as she stays close to Mama longer (30 years) than me (22 year minus baby to toddler years). That makes her knows Mama better. I told her about my idea to make Mama's living memoir. She was excited that she wanted to start writing right away. We promised to communicate through email to lay out the outline and plan. Now I'm happy, another project could run soon.

So annoying that I could not upload photos the past few days because of trouble in reading SD card and later I found out the USB has no connection either. But I know, my story could describe my happiness enough :-)

Something to Learn

I learn something every time you are around. Pade told me. Actually I feel the same. My conclusion, we enjoy exploring new things together. Yes. Today we visited Ubud botanic garden where Mama has training. Pade was interested to go because he is learning about plants now. He has ongoing garden project in his villa.

We went after light lunch at Indus. It was high noon – hot. This botanic garden is run by private. It's not big but has interesting variety of plants. We went to all sections and Pade was busy taking notes of plants he really liked. He brought along his staff specializes in garden so both discussed about plants along the way.

Pade called the place boy garden because the gardeners were good looking. I noticed later that Pade is right that they are carefully ‘chosen’ because everyone has ‘style’. It’s always good to see things from different ‘point of view’ :-)

We met Mama in the end of our tour before we walked out. Mama just finished lunch and short break. Pade and Mama were engaged in hot conversation about plants right away. It’s fun but we had to leave soon as Mama’s session started. They are going to meet again tomorrow morning anyway.

Actually in the morning I also learned about something else. I went checking at least four small houses (bungalows) in Penestanan area. Mbok Yan took me in scary motor ride. I enjoyed playing with balance. Anyway, I only fall for a house which would only be free two days from today. It’s a really nice two-story house with morning sun I need. I really hope I could rent this house next week. I’m not sure yet because nothing can be assured before it “happens”. Cross my fingers.

I went to Tegallalang area after house checking. I called the trip collecting ideas. It’s truly a collecting ideas activity. Balinese are clever and creative: to create and to copy. I bought a very nice display for necklace, very unusual, which later I knew it’s designed by a French lady. Bali develops its craft from various countries. If we order craftsman to make our design, we cannot be sure our idea will be protected by copyright. We have to be ready with “the right to copy” attitude. That’s art – it belongs to the ‘world’.

I got some ideas after observing the long road full of creative craftsmen’s shops. Now I also keep an eye for an empty little place in Jalan Hanuman – the well-known street in downtown Ubud. I like to have a small outlet there although street still looks empty from tourist. I don’t know. I might also do ‘door-to-door’ marketing. Bali is fun. We could explore many possibilities.

Enough learning today. I feel tired now. Mama too. We decided not to meet for dinner because of heavy rain since afternoon. We plan to spend half day in Kuta before airport tomorrow. I will take her to shops I frequently visit so she knows what I’m doing in Bali :-)

Show Mama My Home

I didn’t feel well in the morning. I awoke every two hours at night and every time I felt like I had enough sleep but of course I had to get back sleep again. I got up around 4:30 and decided to read instead of browse internet. I read Anderson Cooper’s memoir that I had wanted to read since long.

He is a good writer. His style is plain English, very real, as is. Oprah is right about his writing. His detail is not boring and difficult like award winning books. I like it. Well, I enjoy his reportage or interview in CNN so much. Cool.

I found myself in him – in much smaller scale. He is very much in his thought all the time, enjoys his time without social (I’m not that bad) that he likes to take assignment on New Year’s evening just to avoid any social, is always on the go, talks to self a lot and hardly miss any emotional attachment. Many. I’m glad, I feel better to know there’s someone out there worse than me. Unlike him, I still miss the feeling of to belong some times. What a lonely world!

That helped my morning. I felt better and forgot about my not well feeling. I believed in "it’s all in my mind" – nothing physical actually.

I made two prayer beads for Mama and Ibu Dahlia, her 'successor', last minutes. I was too relaxed not to prepare before hand and suddenly it hit me that I need to have something comes out of my hands for Mama. Creating 'under pressure' is something but I am good at that. I managed to make two in 15 minutes. I’m happy with the result. I chose their color.

It's the same feeling to be in airport about same time every two weeks: happy to be away, look forward to experiencing new, ready for change. Feel sleepy hit me later. I ate various food to keep me from nausea that followed the not well feeling. It’s good I was not that sleepy that I could read during the flight. I flew to Bali again and it’s like ritual that I bought a book from Periplus in airport. I chose The Life Plan today. It consists of 10 tips of each topic about life (total 700 tips). Nothing is new, I’d like to call it a reminder book. It reminds me to do so and so, like check list.

Only half an hour in my room, I went and got massage from Mbok Yan. Actually I didn’t need the service but I had to do it as she has helped me with rented house. I believe that some times we have to use our friends' services to keep the friendships ‘alive’. I also got facial before home. She is good at it, the salon has nice fresh home-made face masker (mine was avocado with yoghurt). All were good, I’m happy.

Mama and Ibu Dahlia were visiting Ubud for a training of trainers held by a German NGO where Mama works the past 10 years. They hold the training in the new Ubud botanical garden. Obviously Mama was happy with her experience to go steep down to river inside the garden for the opening.

Ya, we met up for dinner this evening. I seldom have problem discussing what to eat with Mama. It’s so easy with her because often she knows what she wants. This evening she mentioned Bebek Bengil – restaurant known for its delicious crispy duck. That saved me from thinking and finding out what Mama and Ibu Dahlia might like. Mama is good.

We updated each other over dinner. I told her that I start my own necklace line and my plan to market – that she is still surprised to find me even far from intellectual work :-) And I gave them city tour to Monkey Forest street up to Pallava shop. I was sleepy and longed for a good sleep. I dropped by their room for a while to present their gifts (the prayer beads and 'local memento' a beaded small sling-bag and kopi Bali) and show Mama my creation :-)

I’m happy to have shown Mama my home, more tomorrow.

No photo this trip, internet connection is pretty poor.

Many at the Same Time

It’s strange to experience heavy rain in a dark morning. I could not see the cloud but hear the loud pouring. It was a nice morning though with Chiko sleeping on my tummy while I was reading Crystal Bible – my stone bible. It’s just nice to broaden my knowledge about stone as my creation uses semi-precious stone.

I had the urge to create some necklaces although I didn’t have much time this morning. I managed to make one and had ideas of some. I talked with Hess long time last night about necklaces I created. I liked to listen to her comments, it helps me to know better about my market.

My computer gives me another hard time since I found it could not read SD card yesterday. Well, this is a very important feature for me as I work with photos a lot. I asked my IT boy through text messages and of course there’s nothing he could do. He just promised me to come over when I order an external hard disk from him. This morning I found my computer process goes slower. I checked the virus again and it’s clean. This time the IT boy didn’t reply to my question if he has time to drop by this evening. He got sick of the problems I guess. I let him alone. It is like back to zero, I have to find a way. I don’t like being pushy, like call him and ‘order’ him to come. No reply is a reply for me.

That lingers me all day. I have plenty things to do in the internet using photo. I really don’t like to experience this. I bought this computer because my desktop was virus-ed. I’d rather buy a new computer than fixed it. Now it happens again but buying a new computer would not be an option at least now. I have to find out how to overcome this.

I went to the Heritage annual meeting with Peng today. I was not so keen to go but it’s always good to have friends with higher spirit. It helps me to broaden my horizon and of course… meet people! I enjoyed the time though. Like always, annual event enables me to meet old friends. We could not meet often because we might belong to different study groups or simply we have different paths. So, it’s nice to meet up again…

The annual report by the chairwoman took an hour and half – about. I was ready to sleep although Ro had a very alive way to present the report. Peng had already slept. I giggled with Vive who sat behind us. The next speaker was a well-known Indonesian designer. She talked.. no, she read about Indonesian textiles in fashion. She read the text so fast that we hardly followed what she’s trying to tell us. Never mind, the fashion show was interesting. The models were the Heritage members. We gave loud applause to sexy clothes or if we know well the model. It was fun. A real eye opener. I told Peng that they would not invite me to be a volunteer because I’m short and skinny. The models are over 175 cm and ‘pretty’ skinny. Age doesn’t matter :-) It was fun..

I had some issues to be followed up after the meeting. I followed Peng to supermarket after light lunch. My cellphone didn’t stop receiving messages. One asked about bazaar in Singapore. Susa asked about my “not for sale” stone sculpture at Frangi (she persuaded me to sell). Peng asked me to send a necklace she saw in bazaar. I need to send get-together dinner invitation next week to the art group. I need to send out e-flyer for next week’s bazaar, water project’s pictures to Betty, my Sumio art-furni’s picture to Vive,… Hey, long list. There are several others to do this evening before I travel again tomorrow.

Now.. I’m overwhelmed. I better stop writing and get back to my stuffs.

Photo of I am strong.

Know What You Want

The other day Rini wrote me her recent experience with family. Husband and son were hospitalized that she had to stay in hospital. At home, two maids quitted and left her girl without sitter that she had to ask her mother and sister to help. The situation made her thinking to stop working and be a stay-home mom. After more than 15 years in office?

She asked me for advice. I told her that she needs to know what she wants first. In my view, kids of over 10 years old “do not need” her full time so staying home is not really important anymore. She could end up getting bored of doing nothing and no routine. That’s when she needs to plan an activity to spend time while waiting for kids to be home. The only question then: what would you like to do?

Well, I was in her situation almost ten years ago. I got bored in office after 8 years but didn’t know what to do without routine. It was so hard. I have no kids, I had no business. What would I do? I took 3 months unpaid-leave before decided to resign. Actually I resigned only after one month. Not that I had found something to do at that time, simply because I had known that I would never return to work.

I pushed myself to be in a situation when I had to think about what to do. If I kept myself at work, I would never think hard about what to do. I started Frangipani with whatever expertise I had just to kill time. I have spirit to keep the business going. After 9 years now, I have learned a lot from having business(es). Now I could see that it is understandable that a person finds it hard to change because change means adaptation. Who wants to leave a comfortable bubble to enter a jungle although a jungle could also offer other form of comfortable bubbles? :-)

Rini’s and more of my friends’ cases help me to see me and my comfortable bubble. It’s so easy to see others’ issue than ours. Why? Because we don’t hold all factors to make a decision, we just see the cover and make a decision based on textbook (read: general rules).

Now… do we know what we want? I feel this is the hardest part in making a decision. A well-known marriage counselor ended her one-month third marriage lately. Very ironic. Apparently she doesn’t know what she wants. Do I know mine? Sometimes I (think I) know but it takes me very long to materialize. I realized the other day that actually I have started to collect materials for making necklace since five years ago. I have the tools since I started Una Beads two years ago but never used. But when it comes, like lightning, it hits me directly. I don’t need time to think. I just do like I do with necklaces now. It’s only five weeks but I could feel the pulse, it’s getting harder…

Do you know what you want?

Photo of Triple Happiness.

Rough Day

I spent my dark morning making e-flyer of my new necklace batch. My new trick. I take pictures of half finished necklaces and send out to potential customers. Why is half finished? So I won’t waste time fixing toggles. It has to go side by side: the finishing and the marketing :-) Efficient.

I prepared myself before 8:00 as Sigit, the IT boy, would come. He came about time and started to work on my computer. I had come to the stage where I had let go. He’s good though. He reminded me to take note of network connection settings and contact in Outlook. He is good but still he missed something. I lost my favorite bookmarks! Looong list of bookmarks that I just tidied last week. You didn’t tell me, he said. I told him that he’s been good in paying attention to connection settings and contact, but he needs to add bookmarks in his attention in the future when doing similar job :-) He learns, I learn.

The fair organizer in Singapore called me. She is so pleased to have me and Benny to participate, and later Benny added two more friends to join. She told me a little bit about the fair, how she organizes, and why she keeps it small and exclusive. She’s been long in the business, I could feel that she’s good at it. I look forward to experiencing the new venture.

Sigit left before his time to work at 10:45. Computer is like home to me. It has to be me and homy. I started with personalizing the look first. My signature. My color. Then started checking the programs. I lose my favorite IE7, Sigit installed the old IE6 that I don’t really like because of no tabs. I tried to download but to no avail. Sigit will help again as I will see him next week when delivers external drive he suggested me to use. I have thought about having external drive but too lazy to materialize. Now it’s coming. I need to save my original Windows too. I don’t want to regret later because of my putting off and laziness.

I also finished the book keeping of my necklace business. It is not bad at all. I’m satisfied with the balance. Not so bad. I really have to keep my eye on the balance to make sure I don’t lose. I need to be more serious in handling a business. I have bigger plan with this.

Anyway, I’m sleepy but Rad had dragged me out to enjoy nice afternoon sun. Yes, I need activity. I needed to go out. We had early dinner in a very nice non-smoking cubicle. Girlie talk never ends. Shopping came after. I bought skirt and dress to wear in Bali (funky casual). And more talk over hot chocolate and chai latte in open air Coffee Bean. I felt suffocated by smoke though. No fresh air. Rad kept yawning while I felt my eyes heavy. It was close to 22:00. It's a nice way to spend a Saturday night with good friends. I passed the day very well.

Photo of Rocky, one in my new batch.

unComfortable Day

Friday, May 11

Hey, you should buy share in internet company as you use it so much. Peng replied to me after tons of email to organize farewell dinner for five ladies of the art group who will leave this summer. Yes Peng, I have broadband on during waking hours so I hardly missed any incoming emails :-) but today my virtual world was quiet :-(

I decided to take my laptop computer to computer shop to check virus and be installed with the latest anti-virus. I had obsolete anti-virus for some time because the pirated version had been black listed. I don’t like such version but IT boys always have argument that I could not fight back.

Sigit asked me to leave the computer in shop over night. I refused. I persuaded him to finish it before 16:00 so I could pick up and avoid 3-in-1 traffic regulation. I felt ‘empty’ without computer at home since noon. I took pictures of 18 necklaces I made the past two days and finished a ‘strange’ order from a lady I met in bazaar. She wanted the necklace and bracelet just plain. It’s not my signature but I don’t know why I accepted.

I was so happy to know that my computer didn’t need to be reformatted because the virus was manageable. I was happy to start my evening with computer, I had some emails to be responded for next travel.

Like anything else when a part is to be refined, the whole system becomes imbalance. My computer becomes imbalance. I could not use IE. I thought the connection was poor, it was not. I was fiddling around for some time to check all modes to connect: broadband, dial-up, and CDMA. Nothing. I restarted and the dial-up worked suddenly. I got an idea to use Firefox. I managed to reply to some emails before the connection suddenly out again. More fiddling… I called Sigit but he had no clue. Like other profession, shortcut is the best choice. He suggested reformatting the computer – that I don’t like. For no reason, I don’t like the idea of backing up and installing back. I don’t have such important files but what I have is important of course, even silly pictures of Chiko, or… my necklaces. Aah..

So I searched for the recovery disc that comes with new computer. I checked my drawer and found numerous programs of obsolete gadget. I found them all but… the recovery disc. I tried to be calm and think positively; believe that good thing would happen. Nothing.

I gave up. I could only hope things are not as scary. Stay positive. Last night a friend stopped me from saying I don’t have courage. He suggested me to say something like I haven’t stretched my courage yet. So this evening I said to myself that there must be a way to overcome this (I read in the Guide Book that actually we could recover without disc).

Didn’t know what to do, I started tidying my place – things I stop doing since I travel a lot. I just pay attention to my work area; it has to be tidy after work. I moved things and half an hour later I enjoyed the result. It doesn’t take time actually.

Anyway, Sigit promised to come at 8:00 (!) tomorrow. He’s so kind to offer me such service. Well, he ‘had to’ because I refused his proposal to fix my computer all day in his workplace. I want him to do as quickly as possible before my eyes :-)

Now I don’t know what to write. Today is not my comfortable day. It’s a good intermezzo to remind me to appreciate more of my comfortable dayS.

Photo of bus ad about eating comfortably.

First Show

Having organized some sneak previews to individuals the past three weeks, today I have the first show of my creation for public. I attended AWA bazaar, first spring bazaar of this year.

Although I have been in business almost a decade, but necklace business is totally new for me. Well, it’s different than what I did with cousins last year though similar business. I was not full in charge then. My portion was only, say, a quarter. Now I’m in charge of my own business.

I tried out the table covers last night. I chose a combination of black and red jute, and Indian runner I bought in Bali. I’m happy with my creation, I used black and red sheer to put on top so the strong Indian colors toned down. Anyway, I really liked my discovery about using layers to cover table.

I got two badges for two stall attendants but I sent Adi to workshop. I decided to be fully responsible of the table :-) If not, friends like Peng could make me wandering and shopping. I used the time for volunteer to shop – an hour before formal opening hour – to check out other stalls. Like guided, I stood long in a stall selling Bali fine silver. The lady started talking about her creation and bazaars she attended. She’s American. Before long, we started talking about attending bazaar in Singapore. She gave tips on pricing, displaying, kind of product,… I took her to my stall to see if mine works in Singapore. She said it would work very well! We talked more about it and promised to continue through emails. She lives in Sanur – Bali. It’s interesting that the door is open now. Later I agreed to share a table in Singapore bazaar with Benny, my long business buddy. I have to work on that to make it happen.

Anyway, the bazaar was quiet. Sooo quiet that stall attendant could leave the stall unattended anytime :-) $9 admission was too expensive. I missed my book that I should have taken with me but I learned a few things about bazaar.

The people:

1. Bazaar goers seem to be overwhelmed by many stalls in one place. They don’t pay enough attention to each stall. They tend to pass without even realize that a stall exists. Too much at the same time. Knowing someone could be an advantage because we could call their attention :-)

2. As they don’t plan to buy anything, they could either not even look or buy a lot from a stall. They don’t have buying pattern, let alone plan.

3. Meeting friends is the main purpose of attending bazaar; like meeting point to shop together or… have lunch later soon.

The business:

1. Jewelry is among the lowest in demand list. Home furnishing (sheets, pillows, cushions), home ware, kids clothing and toys are among top in the list.

2. Each jewelry style has its own customers. Of course, like anything else.

3. Whatever you put on table could create a new business. My fine wooden tray (I put it up side down to look like a low pedestal) from Lombok was in demand. Later, my cheap mirror from Tegalalang – Bali. A friend pushed me to just start any business that could sell like the wooden tray and mirror. She is right but I could only laugh. I need to be focus, Bu.

4. Some totally ‘not-important’ stuffs (xmas deco in May, thick rubber flip-flop, cinnamon roll, ‘plastic’ bag made of cassava,..) could sell so any stall has the same chance to have good sales actually :-)

5. Good looking MALE is the best seller. There’s an Australian selling batik scarves from Yogya. He is in any bazaar with a heap of batik. He sells his stuff like medicine man – surrounded by ladies at all times. Isn’t it nice to have a good looking stall attendant? I must consider this to boost my sales :-)

6. I don’t have good sales today. It’s just enough to cover the bazaar cost but… I met people who liked and appreciated my work. I shared with them my business card with message I don’t have shop but I do home delivery. They chuckled but happy to know about the possibility to view the necklaces at home. I believe in that. They could feel free to have a look and try on because the designer would not be there staring at them waiting for them to decide :-)

FAQ:

1. Where do you cut your hair? It looks good (on you).

2. I didn’t know that you are doing this? You kept secret!! What else do you do?

3. Is this natural stone?

4. What nationality are you? (You are anything but…)

Five hours is enough to learn about all those. I ended the day with getting a big hug from someone because I helped him finding his Nokia communicator. He asked me if I saw his phone that of course not.. I was too busy wrapping up my stall. Then I offered him to call his cellphone. He begged me to do and I did. It rang long time and we searched while listening to the ring tone. He found it in his friend’s bag. She kept it for him. He was so grateful that he gave me a big hug. I liked it when he said Now you have contact in US embassy. I work there. I would never forget this. I tapped his shoulder – happy for him.

My sales might not be good but I learned a lot from a day at the bazaar. My first show.

Photo of my display with paisley shape as theme.

Still One Head

I just got idea to put my name card in each pouch necklace I sell. The idea is based on my experience. When I buy something often I don’t intentionally keep the designer’s name card but later when I like it very much and want to see more of the product, I might have lost the contact. In such case, a name card becomes important.

I combined going to digital printer with getting haircut. It’s still over 10:00 when I made a few modifications of the name card. I wanted to make it a bit different than the name card but I had no choice because they had no red paper. I had to use name card color then. I waited for them to print. It took only minutes to modify and print.

But then the girl told me that my green paper is out of stock. Hm again.. This is like resetting appetite from salad to sandwich. Soo difficult and uncomfortable. Forget about having a corporate color, with my life style now I prefer to use available color instead, less headache. I stared at the paper book and selected three options. This time I decided to use two heads to decide. It would be nice to use other’s head sometimes.

I sent text message to a good friend who knows my personality and business. It’s perfect, only I sent it to a very busy person so… I only had 8 minutes before left for my haircut appointment. Under normal circumstance I would choose black letter on pale beige paper but I needed something different. I considered white paper (because the other was grey – too ‘office’) and hoped the other head told me the same.

My cellphone alarm went off. My time to leave. I told the staff I chose black letter on white paper. I had made up my mind without second head. Why white? It’s me, it’s strong, ..end of the world (actually I heard an Italian clothing designer said so to Fashion TV this morning – not my original quote). But yes, I chose white because I’m a black-and-white person – personality and clothing :-) And it looks modern too!

I got the reply 20 minutes later. Pale beige.

I waited one client before my turn at Pieter’s. Pieter said that she owns a well-known hotel in Yogya and came to Jakarta half day only to get haircut. Don’t tell me I would do the same after I move to Ubud :-)

Yes, I came with significantly long hair for a short hair after two months. Pieter was pleased to see that. He hid smile when I asked him to cut it real short. I continued reading while checking out the progress some times. Almost two hours later (amazingly complicated to cut a very short hair), he laughed out loud when I thought that it’s not short enough.

Before I knew, he finished his project – my hair. He took a lot of pictures even before I checked the back! He’s so happy with the result. He found a perfect victim for his creation: round head, thick hair, funky personality. It’s strange I know: long and short in one head. Still one head..

Photo of my head :-)

I’m not doing anything.

It’s just yesterday I read Coelho’s reflection in his book Like the Flowing River about I’m not doing anything. Like normal people, he also experienced the same situation, to feel useless and have no friends sometimes. It’s amazing that a well-known person like him could have such feeling.

I did nothing all morning although actually I had 3 hours before my time to prepare for the day. I checked emails but nothing was important (of course, who write email between 23:00 – 4:30?). I looked at a pile of books I haven't read but nothing attracted me. CNN only talked about white-tie dinner with the British Royal and Shetty’s kissing affair with Gere. Necklace? It seemed so far away as I had packed them to be sent to Peggy in two hours. I stared at television blankly. I felt useless.

I joined “How Jakarta Works” study group tour to see water sanitation project in kampongs in North Jakarta today. I was close to cancel my participation. Somehow I knew how this visit would affect me. I didn’t take time to reconsider, I just prepared myself and went.

I arrived our meeting point in a luxurious mall 20 minutes too early. I sat and called Mama to check her trip to Ubud, then called Ully (my travel girl) to arrange my ticket. Before too long, eight ladies were ready to listen to the introduction by the program manager, Mindy.

This organization works on mobilizing people to improve their hygiene practices, household drinking water quality, and solid waste management. It’s founded in 2004 by Mindy, an ex expatriate’s daughter who lived in Jakarta 7 years before went back to the US for university. She studied environmental engineer and works in Indonesia is always her passion. She described her moving back to the US for study as the hardest moment in her life. I heard many similar cases that children of expatriates call Indonesia home and want to continue to live in Indonesia after study.

So she works as volunteer in this program the past three years after she finished study in 2003. She needs to return to the US next year to get a real job (with pay) and real experience before settling in Indonesia later in her life. It’s an interesting journey of a girl who lives in two different worlds.

We walked to a kampong not far from the mall. What a contrast before our eyes! We entered real kampong with houses in wooden tilt on swamp with water-hyacinth mixed with solid waste under. The people believe that the waste could make the ground more solid. It takes regular meetings to tell people about their wrong idea of throwing garbage under house.

They also teach how to make drinking water by heating the water in a container using solar heat for 6 hours to reduce the use of kerosene. Or, chlorinated the water they buy from water vendor. Tap water is not easy to find and if any it has no pressure. They don’t have choice but to use water from swamp to take bath and wash dishes after waiting the dirt to settle in buckets. Water is considered expensive for people who earn $2 per day from collecting plastic garbage.

The program covers very small population of such around Jakarta. It’s amazing how these youngsters give themselves so much to the community. Teaching people is not easy. They don’t have pattern, they don’t have anything to follow. I met a mother of seven who collects plastic to feed the kids. Husband has no job and only the eldest goes to school. She answered my quick questions with bright happy face. On our way out, Betty asked me whether they ever feel their life could change. She answered her own question: They don’t know what they miss so they are just happy with what they have now.

We ended the tour in a hall where the community received gifts from us. Boiled eggs, dried noodles, water containers, soaps, tooth brushes and pastes, and many Sabine had shopped. I walked back to mall under sun along the narrow alley. I didn’t have heart to have car to pick us up. I was wet with sweat all over but kept myself calm. I better not to appear suffered from the tour (it's just heat), that we applied thick mosquito repellent, that some of ladies weapon themselves with antiseptic. I was exhausted physically and emotionally.

I’m not doing enough...

Auto Pilot is Off

My hand reminds me of the importance to be more aware of what I do. Yes, the one that got burn in shower when I was in Ubud. It becomes itchy the last two days that I had to take allergic pill to stop but I feel I still need to see dermatologist to know why. I don’t like to be in a situation like this but what can I do? Sometimes life offers us unexpected issue.

I had light lunch at Coffee Bean again today. I missed my favorite Chinese chicken salad the last two visits. They hadn’t chopped the veggie and today they said that they didn’t have lettuce. Hm. I’m almost sure the salad would be eliminated from menu soon. Well, that’s not what I hope to happen but things happen :-)

Thinking about what to eat is not my favorite thing to do. I hate it especially if it involves in something totally different than what I previously had in mind. Today I had to have sandwich instead. Grr… I thought about it for awhile while waiting for my tuna sandwich to come. Things happen to remind us. My burn reminds me to be out of auto pilot. My lost Chinese chicken salad reminds me that nothing is eternal.

Anyway, I got some nice responses to my bazaar e-flyer I sent two days ago. Peggy even wants to see them all before the bazaar. It sounds like Hess :-) I’m happy to serve her though. I would send all tomorrow morning as I won’t do anything with it till Wednesday. It’s just nice to grab any opportunity to market my ‘art’.

I have funny feeling about the urge to create necklace. I have a batch of new material I brought from Bali but haven’t had time to actually sit and create; and that bothers me! I spent the past three days finishing and taking stock; and running errands today. I miss my aloneness in creating. I agree with Winkler that creating art (painting, drawing, making necklace, and many) is a total lonely activity. We discuss and debate inside ourselves to decide what we are going to create; what color, what hue, how big, what else, which beads,… And I must confess that I really enjoy my time alone with my creative thought :-)

I hope I would have time to create this evening. I need to see dermatologist now to check my hand. I don’t want to be late to treat the burn. My skin is precious. Very.. as other things in my life. I would never take things for granted.

Photo of an installation-painting at Sika Gallery in Ubud.