That takes pressure from me.

My friend texted that made me laugh. I offered her to go to Bali Spirit Festival venue to check out the event but then I rescheduled. She forgot that to join me or not is totally her option. We are so used to spend time together that we could easily forget which is obligatory or free. So I reminded her. The thing is she might like my program that she has her heart jump out to follow me but her feet are tied to her studio. I know her feeling because I also need to put the brakes on the urge to keep going out.

I exercised my options at home today. I had options of what to do and realized that I’m not really good in multi-tasking. I had my laptop off almost all day – that is unusual – and spent most of the time giving the house ‘a bath’ including watering heavily thirsty garden. I also continued reading book that I don’t usually spare time in Ubud. End of month is around the corner but I just watched the stack of paper I should work on. One at a time. That’s my option today.

A week has passed since my picture appeared in local newspaper. Oh so malu! It came out on the day I left for Singapore so didn’t have time to sink the malu in. Just now I saw the clipping under papers I should do in Jakarta. It gives me a bit pressure! The write-up about me is just ‘too good to be true’. It gives me good measure though how I should perform 'accordingly'.

I have started to pack for my next trip. Time flies that I don’t want to miss anything for my short trip to Jakarta and Malang. I won’t see my close friends in Jakarta since they have left for pulang kampung before summer. The past years, many of my friends avoid traveling in summer for some reasons.

So what’s my option now? Continue reading or else?

Road sign in Singapore.

You guys are tired!

Our yoga teacher commented after observing us for a while. We were. She didn’t concentrate well either I guess. She lost track of time so had to do some exercise quickly that some could not follow. Then she took break to restroom she never did since I joined her class and strange enough that I did the same. We all were not in our prime. My friend thought maybe because we missed exercise during our Singapore excursion. I’m not sure but yes I felt a bit depleted.

My friend and I didn’t have enough energy to have lunch outside café either. We went inside to be in air-conditioned space. So rare! And we ended up chatting with a long time retiree in Ubud. He is Indonesian-Chinese-Dutch of over 75 years old but still vivid. I knew him five years ago when I was still in and out Ubud. He always said that I didn’t change while I also saw the same in him. Same old Bapak. Anyway, he fell into my 'trap' to join yoga class on Friday. He was a yoga veteran. He said he’s inspired by my friend and me. I even have told his driver to make sure he’s going on Friday morning. Good the driver knew where to go. It's fun! I mingled a lot with seniors since I moved to Ubud but truly they could energize me even more. They have inspired me how to live in healthy way by keep going. Age is just a number, they say.

Another issue arose. My car got little brown spots all over the hood. I found it in the morning and there’s nothing I could do. Shampoo didn’t help. It gave me good sweat though to find out. And later in the afternoon after I bought wax for car, I sweated even more. It was 33 degree Celsius today. I pushed myself a bit more in the afternoon. I climbed second floor windows to try my ability to clean glass with magic cloth. It worked very fine and again gave me good sweat before shower in twilight.

I had a good sweaty day. I feel young after spending time with my dear senior friends. I'm inspired for sure!

A billboard in a church in Singapore.

Waiting to hear from you mysterious woman!

A friend commented my status on Facebook. She felt that I have gone long time that I also felt the same when entered house last midnight. The house felt ‘empty’ and deserted. I saw at least two toddler-geckos in my room and kitchen. They might have felt more at home since I was away. I’m a bit nervous about it. I saw them as baby weeks ago and now they have turned bigger with bigger heads. What would I see in the next two months? I have started laying out plans of what to do.

Our last day in Singapore was just short and sweet. We yakked since awoke a bit late – 6:30 for me. We packed and checked out before hit the road again to have brunch in a big bookshop. We continued our journey walking to Tanglin shopping centre that we were not lucky since many shops closed. And our last stop was dangerous. I bought, again, a Chinese mini stool and my first Birkenstock sandal that I had been talking since day one we arrived Singapore. I like to see people in Birkenstock but it’s so hard to picture my small feet in the boat-like sandal. I managed to find one that fit my little feet. I’m happy!

We were driven to airport in heavy rain. We were in time to end our adventure in the city. Although we were four hours too early arrived airport, we in fact had no choice because of the rain. We continued our nice chat and giggle! Oh my! We teased each other’s shopping bag. I shopped a lot of bedding so it’s big but weigh almost nothing! My friend bought packages of Swiss sausages and two bottles of liquors in airport that her luggage got chalk mark before belt in Denpasar airport. Good I always have wetties with me, my sister reminded me once that stays in my mind since then to always have wetties when fly international to remove chalk mark made by custom. Or, be ready to be searched!

I had busy morning meeting relatives visiting Ubud. I had no time to relax after a four-day trip. I’m back to my usual running morning to get things done before a day out. It was burning hot but I felt okay because…

… there is no place like home.

My luggage before check out.

Oh, I am so happy!

My friend repeated her mantra many times that gave me good feeling to know that she truly enjoy the trip with me. This is our first time to go out of Ubud together. We went for a trip to Yogya many years ago but then we just knew each other. Anyway, it was really fun to go with her. And I’m glad she found me the same.

We didn’t plan to shop so I squeezed three museums to visit since morning. First we went to toys museum that just opened one year. Funny that we could not find the museum but then someone told us that the museum has bakery cabinet in front because it’s a resto-cum-café-cum-museum. Later we found out that the museum is run by private. Of course.

My friend a bit hesitated but I told her that we are already on the spot. So we moved on! It’s five-story building that housed hundreds of old toys from the 1920s. I don’t know much about the toys because some are from other countries. But I really enjoyed rediscovering some characters and some ‘odd’ toys from me. Good that my friend and I lived our childhood in different place and era. She is 17 years older than me. There were more memories she rediscovered from the display.

I enjoyed the museum very much. The collection is really good and many toys are still complete with its boxes. It’s so cute! My friend and I speculated how and when the owner started collecting because many of the toys looked ‘untouched’. Some are valued over $ 10,000. What a nice idea to share private collection with public and the government acknowledges its existence by putting the museum in guide book and sign to show where to go. 

Our second destination was an ex fire department that turned into a design museum. Another nice museum that house products that win Red Dot award. My friend and I were busy reading each description attached to the item then giggled a lot. Some products have great idea but not practical for daily use. Some have given us ideas of what we can do at home. 

We felt a bit hungry but we pushed ourselves once more to visit the third museum – another toys museum but specialized in Shanghai made toys. We had nice Indian food for lunch before hit the road again in Little India. Pity the museum closed! Maybe because it has not enough visitors because of the location? Anyway, we almost finished three museums today.

We spent the rest of the day shopping and giggling. It’s so nice to hear my friend’s feedback about me in general. Traveling is definitely a way to connect with people better. One could love or fail to like just because of a 3-day stay in close connection for 24 hours.

We celebrated our last night in a sidewalk café of a big hotel. Got in room, my friend fell asleep like a baby once her head hit mattress. And here I am, struggling to keep eyes open since the night is still… young.

A collection of Popeye the Sailor Man at MINT Toys Museum, Singapore.

We need to see music and dance every month at least.

My friend mentioned it on our way out from the performance hall after Cats show last night. It’s two-hour show with live music and dynamic dance. The costumes were cute. The setting was not changed a lot but was just nice to remind us of where alley cats liked to roam. Junks and dark! The cute thing about the performance is that the performers mingled quite often with the audience. They came out to stage through audience. They crawled among us during the show. My friend got pat on head by a cat that sang behind us. We could hear his breath and accent very well. Cute cats!

It was a long day for us. We started a bit too early for Singapore that opens after 10. Morning girls like us cannot stay in the room too long. We were so itchy to walk. So we walked to National Museum that we thought it might take half an hour, we got there barely 15 minutes. My friend said that she has found someone who walks faster than her. I was surprised! My normal walk is fast for her?

The newly renovated museum is always nice to visit. I have been twice yesterday but still I could get inspiration from the display. It’s always fun to peek at people’s ‘junks’ that tell us story of the era. Museums give me lesson to appreciate life before our time. That there were big thought behind stuffs that give them lifestyle – good life in their own time. So we blessed how easy things are now but we might have to be careful not to miss documenting things for later generation considering all are digitalized these days.

We ended the museum tour in exhibition hall that showed Christian Lacroix works for opera or perfomance. Again, we enjoyed the vast imagination of a designer. Each costume he created need lots of work and deep knowledge of materials. His sketches caught me also. It's like a painting, so alive, so arty. How many people in the world are able to realize their fantasy into an artwork? That makes them artists.

We shopped a little bit in the afternoon. We were not that keen because of the price tag. I kept asking myself what do I need? But window shopping is always nice to do. Again, it stimulates my creativity to create more out of stuffs I already have.

Recycle.

The National Museum of Singapore.

It’s okay, right?

It’s my mantra for yesterday. That everything should and has to be okay. That all disappointments have to be neutralized. It’s funny sometimes to realize that a feeling can hit hard in one fine morning. No, it’s not about PMS and full moon. It’s tilem (dead moon) actually yesterday. It might have effects also. Well…

I enjoyed my riding in taxi to the first stop of the day. The driver was so nice to share his knowledge about the shop I was going to. In Singapore, many taxi drivers can talk ‘smart’. They observe the world and region economy, Asian cultures, customers’ habit, and also a bit about politics. I enjoy learning about what people thought about things but I didn’t comment when he started talking about the Indonesian student who is believed to have killed himself in campus. There are things that are better not to be discussed because of the sensitiveness of the topic.

I shopped quite a lot of household stuffs at the mega store. I had a long shopping list. I enjoy the quality of the product with the price that doesn’t rip off my wallet. I bought mostly stuffs for bedding. It’s my passion to entertain my guests with nice bedding that I also enjoy for myself. Other things, I enjoyed toying with ideas inspired by the things I saw in the display or shelves. This shop is a real entertain so by the end of two hours, I pushed myself out to meet my friend who just arrived from Denpasar.

We started giggling from the second we met. It’s like classmates went on an excursion. We set up kitty (joint wallet) and hit the road. We did her errand then visited the new wing for contemporary art of Singapore Art Museum. It exhibited the work of Singaporean abroad. We saw real contemporary artworks that need vast imagination to interpret. It’s amazing how artists perform things that look simple but could draw a real audience. My friend believed that exposure is the main key to get known and that makes not so many talented artists got a chance to be known.

We spent almost half an hour in a movie room by ourselves. It’s a short movie played by one actor only. He played 16 characters – male and female. He played it so well, the mimic especially. I imagined the work behind the 22-minute movie: the actor that had to change costumes and make up; and the editing work to make all the characters to be moving in the same frame. I appreciate the work. It’s a masterpiece.

We ended the day by having dinner with friends who once lived in Jakarta. There are many 'ex-Jakartan' live in the city and we only met three of them last night. It was a nice restaurant in a trendy restaurant complex. I saw many new al-fresco dining spots around Orchard and elsewhere. It’s just nice to see people sitting and dining outside. Blend with nature.

What a day away from Ubud! My friend looked so excited to be away from the place. Yea, we need to be away some time to appreciate more the place we love and live.

Always admire the mix of old and new. Thing the Indonesian cannot or prefer not to do.

Stay connected with your breath!

I don’t know why I had my yoga teacher instruction in my ears for the rest of the day yesterday. I attended her class in the morning before left for airport. It was just like any other travel that I rushed. If I had lots of time, I often ended up not having enough time to leave calmly. Anyway, I drove with Stay connected with your breath!

Yoga does good to me. My breath is more even and it’s right about what they say that if we can control our breath, we can control our emotion: anxious, upset, overjoyed… The noon traffic was not smooth but I could remain calm. I even spared time to have lunch with my cousin to whom I left the car. It was nice afternoon.

It’s been long I didn’t visit Singapore. I was a bit shocked here and there. Many new buildings and the price becomes much more expensive than I remembered. It’s the exchange rate. And the hotel? I realized that I didn’t check out the hotel in the Internet when I took the voucher from my travel agent. The rate was great for my friend and I so we just booked. My friend also believed that it’s the hotel she used to stay. I wonder what she might say when she sees today.

Like flying budget airline, everything comes with extra pay. The hotel is nice, simple, and clean in a nice area behind Orchard road. It’s so convenient to walk to shopping area. I was ecstatic learning that the hotel has wifi and of course they didn’t say that it doesn’t come free. Yes, the wifi charge is at $ 5 per hour. The hotel I stayed in Balikpapan has offered more for half the rate. And later before entered lift I noticed a sign for extra charge of $ 30 if we check in after 11pm. We pay their overtime!

But I also consider another nice thing about the hotel. I remember my sister once told me about how she rated hotels in Singapore. This hotel might meet her requirements: it has good water pressure and flow! Think I also noticed that not all hotels here have good pressure of water. It’s luxury on its own.

I didn’t do much the rest of the evening. I bought the latest Paulo Coelho’s The Winner Stands Alone since I realized I might not be online often – that is good! I also got myself familiar with the area again. It’s going to be more cultural visit this time since shopping is opted out of the plan.

This is when things have to be said very clearly before your eyes.

I feel like sleeping without brushing teeth.

I told a friend about my feeling of a day without blogging. I could but… something is missing. So in the end of a tiring day I like to still do, like brushing teeth in such a sleepy moment, short but enough as ritual. Anyway, that’s how I feel now. Sleepy but I make sure I brush teeth before sleep.

I had a busy day like any other day before travel. I kicked pending matters out or I might not remember what I have left behind when back. I pushed myself to go to Linda’s yoga class in the morning to energize my day.

I spent the rest of the day booking ticket for my next travel and ran some errands. It was another hot and dry day! Back home, I organized house and did some cleaning in bathroom. My cousin 'unintentionally' told me about using bleach to clean moss from tiles. I tried and saw wonder! It’s gone in a second without scrubbing. Amazing. I was excited, I bought half a liter bleach then busy spraying many parts to enjoy clean tiles like new. My cousin laughed out loud when I told her my experience.

It was fun! Now I’m ready to sleep to catch a new day then to see a new place.

I managed to catch both in the same frame today, Monalisa and Chum Chum da Cat.

It’s global crisis.

That’s what I thought since last night. I don’t like to talk on the phone so I rarely made a phone call except if I feel that I have to. I called my good friend in Jakarta last night since I missed (literally 'miss') a few friends. Missed in the sense that I didn’t hear from them through email, text, let alone phone call. I have done my part, I have reached out, but no one responded.

So my friend explained to me what she knew about our friends’ situation. One travels a lot that she could not breathe. One keeps on the hop. One simply disappears. My friend and I are also the same actually but we maintained our communication well so far. Anyway, that’s when I realized that we, women, are in ‘global crisis’. We are too busy with our life that it’s not easy to keep up with friends. I understand.

I wrote a bit more to friends I wonder about how they are doing now. Some friends are already on Facebook that I know more or less their situation. I could also decide if I can visit them or not from their daily status. I planned to visit a friend in KL but apparently she is pretty occupied with domestic chores at the moment since she has no maid.

I did many errands in a few hours today. So luxury in Ubud. I already subscribed to the better Internet connection but they ran out of modem so have to wait two weeks for installing. I also had time to go to bank and post office. And close the day chatting with my color stylist in his salon. It was hot but I badly needed a reviving hair color.

I worked a bit more the rest of the day. I enjoy my new storage system. I could feel I become more productive now.

Dots on a gecko’s tummy seen from my desk this evening.

One trip is needed to perfect the make over.

Yea, I needed the trip to Denpasar to complete my house project this week. I needed a new chair for my desk after I removed the two heavy chairs yesterday. I also had quite a shopping list in my favorite hardware store.

I had the spirit of buying anything in white because that’s the theme of my house. Swedish style. But… the white chairs I intended to buy were out of stock like I had predicted. I tried out some chairs, similar models, different models, but decided to stick to the same model I have at home but in… red! The only one left.

Then the only laundry basket I could take is in orange. I felt like dreaming see all white laundry baskets and hampers on the shelves. Trend might have changed, people choose colors now. I simply don’t like to busy my eyes with too many colors around house especially in my small house.

Then I decided to buy a ladder for the house. My first step to live without a handyman around. Pak Agung gave himself a one month probation but for me I have to start preparing my life without him around from now on. I shared with my friend that I’m matured by every break up I experienced in my life. I could easily let myself depend on people but, in my recent case, before Pak Agung decides to continue or end our partnership I already know how to do things around house without him. I have planned on since yesterday.

So I’m happy with my short trip downtown although two friends cancelled our date last minute. I celebrated the day by having lunch plus gossiping with Ayuk, my staff. It’s just nice to spend time with her for a 'different color'.

Red in my white room.

Zen moment in cleaning.

A friend shared For a while I had it but then there was too much moment and no more Zen and my body was tired… tired.

I did lots of cleaning since early morning. I got up with the spirit of I have to get it done today. And I did with the last help from Pak Agung. He worked happily with me but then before went home he told me that he resigned for one month. What is this?

He might be hurt to learn about my complaint yesterday. He is not used to unlike my staffs in Jakarta since they already know about my standard and what I want. I hardly, if never, complained about Pak Agung’s work simply because I could swallow little things. Anyway, I let him go and will see if he manages to cool down in one month. If not, then it’s time to give other Balinese a chance to work.

I continued working on my plan to rearrange storage till late afternoon. My euphoria of being a "new kid on the block" in Bali has subsided. I changed all exotic boxes (sokasi) I used as storage. One, because I have a lot more to store now. Second, I was tired of the dusty look after months. I bought plastic containers (degrading?) that have nice look and fit in my hidden space. It accommodated all my stuffs (necklace, books, DVDs, and necessities). Now I enjoy tidier space without throwing away. But yes, I also packed up bags and clothes from the time I saw Bali as a tourist. I have a lot that are ready to go now. A real life has started. No more touristy look.

I also brought my old wooden ironing board back to its original function. The board I bought in Solo is so unique. It’s a masterpiece on its own. Now it serves both functions: as decoration and ironing board! I enjoyed ironing this evening. Give a new life to a thing is fun. Given a new life to the wooden floor yesterday, I gave a new life to my bedroom including the ironing board today. I also fixed Hudoq mask I bought in Kalimantan last week that I once felt not sure whether I have bought ‘the right item’. My friend convinced me that I have bought a collector’s item. Been in art business ten years, I still have doubt about what I chose sometimes. I need others to confirm when I'm in doubt.

So I have a good day with a combination of losing a staff and gaining new energy from touching things around house. I will move on…

Banksy's Maid in London a friend shared me.

My mind splits.

I texted my friend. I had whirlwind morning. The usual chores of washing car and mopping floors plus tidying bedroom a bit. I moved things the past days to give space for the modem of my new Internet connection. Every single change needs adjustment in the area. Well, that’s an excuse actually. It happens that it’s time to move things to give a fresher look I need every now and then.

I need the discipline so to attend yoga class at 9 every other day is just right for me. I have limited time left for anything else so can expect myself to be more productive. In fact, I might end up not having enough time for myself. My girl friend missed having me around so I agreed to spend time with her after yoga. And the workmen who installed the cable for modem came without appointment so I had to squeeze them between yoga and lunch. It should be a simple work, I left the house under Pak Agung's supervision.

While my neighbor friend is in sad situation since his assistant fell off coconut tree the other day and could not move his body now. My friend wanted to see me before I leave again next week. I haven’t given him slot to meet. I’m overwhelmed already by project around house, my new pact to give more attention to close ones, and the request for me to lead the Heritage Bali Chapter. I need longer time to let the idea sink in. I brought up the idea so I don’t have space to pull out. Adjustment is needed then.

I lost track of time since I didn’t wear watch when attend yoga class. I got home feeling tired and sticky from the day out so to see my wooden floor scratchy in many places has given me a shock. The workmen apparently dragged my heavy chair to help him working near the ceiling. I felt weak suddenly. I have big passion for wood, it’s like precious gem to me. I look after every wood item very well.

I spent an hour trying to revive the floor by polishing it with ‘scratch cover for dark wood’ – English brand. I felt like Cinderella working on the floor after a long day, all sweaty. I could not wait till tomorrow. Things have its own time, now I believe more. It’s time to polish the floor anyway. And, it’s time to get rid of the heavy chairs (there’s a pair that come with the house) since it has broken my kilim also. A totally new look around house is waiting! I have an excuse to buy the light Italian chairs.

It’s a strange day that I have both feelings. Split! The anticipation of having better Internet connection vs. scratchy wooden floors. Spending time with a friend vs. feeling guilty not to have time for neighbor friend. Feeling tired from polishing floors vs. feeling good to know that being healthy is supreme. In the end of the day, I should not have made the scratch issue big. A friend wrote me… A wooden floor SHOULD have scratches and dents; it is part of its authenticity. They are like the wrinkles on a forehead, they tell a story.

It’s true. Life should have scratches and dents that tell stories too.

A wooden bridge in orangutan island in Samboja, Balikpapan.

Traveling is my Zen moment.

Distance wise, Malang and Ubud is not ‘far’, but to travel both points by air could end up the same length of hour spent by travel inland. The traffic near mud volcano between Malang and Surabaya was often unpredictable so I always allowed some four hours before my departure time to leave Malang. Then the usual airline I took was an hour and half late, and that’s for the third time I flew with the airline. I didn’t think long when booked the flight. I often had hope for a change on anything also persons. Think I should stop. A change can only happen inside myself.

I was ready to take the ten-hour travel door-to-door though. It’s my Zen moment sitting in car. I had time to ponder what I have done and need to do. I also got some ideas from sitting and staring out the windows while listening to music. And more in the waiting room while waiting in uncertainty for my flight to leave. I had time to read news in magazines I don’t normally read. It’s nice.

Yesterday I made a pact with myself that from yesterday on I would share more time with loved ones – not only through meeting but also through paying more attention. Actually I always have this pact in myself but I really need to refine. I have to believe that I always have time for anything so I don’t have an excuse not to pay attention. Texting needs a minute or two, writing a short email needs less than four minutes, making a phone call can be done in warm and engaging manners in less than three minutes… I have studied all aspects to communicate and be with loved ones. I too can do the work.

Today I energized myself at Linda’s yoga class at 9. I was planning to have a slow day after travel like I used to have but my whip won. I’m glad I went because I discovered a pose I thought I could not do. Back bend with both arms to support the body! I was surprised too that I was the only one who could do in the class of three. Linda looked happy to see! Me too, I’m proud! It has energized me even more!

Pak Agung and Ngurah worked a few hours in my kitchen to close all openings to prevent all animals from walking inside kitchen and house. I found out that I had an animal that liked to share my bananas, I don’t like the idea. Pak Agung also found a medium size gecko hiding behind my closets when he was cleaning my bedroom two days ago. The gecko must be stressed out during our living together since I never saw him out and heard him made noise. It has confirmed me even more that I live too close to nature. I have to figure out how to live side by side without annoying each other.

I feel relaxed and happy to be home again.

A wooden pole to hang something in the beach in Balikpapan.

Bali does good to you!

Mama’s good friend and neighbor since Mama’s day zero in the 1960s told me when I came to visit this noon. A disturbing issue in the neighborhood has risen the past few weeks that I need to collect information from neighbors to do my part. I’m happy to have met my dear neighbor and spent some two hours yakking about many things. I feel privileged to be able to talk with her as “an adult”. I have known her almost all my life and the biggest part is my childhood. I left my hometown when started my adulthood. So our today’s meeting was in a completely different setting as adult vs. adult. It’s great!

I’m happy with my day as I managed to empty my ‘pending matters box’. I also dropped by Mama’s other house to check out bathroom renovation that have just finished a few days. Good time to see. It’s so neat, I’m satisfied with my secretary general’s (my neighbor gave him the position) work. I believe that putting trust in delegating has played a significant role. I have entrusted many errands around the two houses to this boy since Mama’s passing seven months ago. Well done!

Day felt so long like my usual days in Malang. Last night I slept very early at 8:30 (my 9:30 Ubud time) but got up at midnight feeling fully charged. I was in computer for about an hour before gone back to sleep to catch dark morning before 5. It’s strange that I chopped my sleep that way. I was really tired.

And morning felt really long since I got up before 5 and could only get out of house around 11. I finished many administration works for Malang. Things I don’t touch if I'm not in the ‘location’. It seems that my mind doesn’t work in parallel, I do whatever I need to do in a place, I have forgotten what I have planned for Ubud.

Whatever. I’m satisfied. I’m ready to rest again and catch nice dark morning in Malang before Ubud again tomorrow.

That look! Shall I share, shall I keep?

I almost forgot how to adventure in uncertainties.

It was raining so hard when I awoke yesterday. It’s surprised me since it was sunny when I got Balikpapan the day before. I didn’t make it big. After waiting for hours to get a towel delivered to my room, I had to wait for my hot drink from room service for ever in the morning. I made my own way to start the day.

There were six of us in a big car. My friend’s friends were so nice to take us to an orangutan sanctuary in Samboja, a bit off Balikpapan city. It’s an hour drive in heavy rain. It was so muddy that we could not go further but walked to see sun bears sanctuary then orangutan islands (six sizable islands with moat surround). It was a challenging walk especially on the way back that the road was a bit steep up.

The sanctuary is not open for public unlike Taman Safari Indonesia because it’s a rehabilitation facility for orangutan and sun bears before they are released back to their habitat. The place is neat and apparently high cost. Nice vegetation with nice dedicated keepers that I admire. They looked content and caring working in such a remote place. They treat the animals like their kids, call them by name and know the history of each. I’m impressed.

My friends liked to take pictures so we spent some time near an orangutan island to observe a mother orangutan and her 1.5 years old kid. They were so cute doing their things, even showed us when she peed. Watching animals is fun. We could sit all day if we want. We were thankful that the staffs were so nice to have shared us about the animal and how they run the place.

Our friend who drove the car took us to see a housing complex owned by national oil company. My jaw dropped. What a neat complex: big fenceless houses of the 1960s. I really hope the company never decide to refurbish the houses with new look. We had late lunch then shopped in a market. I didn’t plan to shop but in the end I walked out with an old Hudoq mask from a shop where my friends bought mementos of the city. I had that ‘not interested’ look and that made me bought the mask because they accepted my final offer almost easily. Shopping also needs confidence.

I got up with low energy this morning. I was a bit worried by my physical condition. It’s rare that I didn’t feel well without feeling not-well. I didn’t like it! I made a 6-hour trip to Malang. It was longer than normal since I was trapped in bad traffic near the mud volcano. Anyway, now I’m glad to be here with my nephew again.

The mother and her kid. I like my shot.

It’s been long I didn’t travel within Indonesia it seems.

I only traveled Jakarta, Malang via Surabaya, Yogya and Solo sometimes, and Denpasar of course. I realized it when I experienced a ‘new’ feeling about other city but within Indonesia when I flew to Surabaya this morning. The aroma of tobacco in the air is a reminder that I’m in Java. And ‘no queuing’ culture is again felt new to me. I had to tell three persons to go behind me when I was queuing in check-in counter. I observed. They didn’t have bad intention, they just don’t know!

So when I arrived Balikpapan and someone put his nose on my head near the luggage belt, I could only say Please stay away from me, find other spot! I forgot that here people don’t mind to be physically too close with stranger. I have to work on that a bit so don’t feel intruded.

Anyway, my cousin who has lived in the city almost five years picked me up. We had nice lunch in the only mall in the city. It’s big with the beach in the back. My cousin thought they should explore the view that I thought the same later. I told my cousin that happens when we are so used to something, we forgot to appreciate and see the beauty.

When my friends came from Berau to join, we had mini exercise by walking to the beach and had dinner near the water – on a deck. It was really nice to see sunset then later full moon that came out pretty fast from the dark. We had nice chat while having… Indian food in Kalimantan! Ya, that was so unlikely. We enjoyed it very much.

Now I feel sleepy. I had long day since got up at 4:30 to catch 7:25 flight. My tank is filling up again.

Nice deck where we had dinner.

I don’t want to regret in my 80s that I didn’t do.

A friend told me over brunch in a nice restaurant by the beach in Legian. I thought the same in the morning, but not in my 80s, when got up and read my friend’s message to meet up. Legian seems so far away from Ubud although of course it’s “only” an hour away. I collected errands I need to run then decided to just go.

It was a nice day. Traffic was still quiet. It’s because of the Good Friday or election or else I’m not sure. I enjoyed driving like always. My friend came a bit later but fine since I had time to enjoy the beach. What a luxury to have ‘an hour length’ option: to be in the mountain or beach.

This girl I knew two years ago from my jeweler friend. We went to an auction in Ubud and had fun bidding for her investor. Since then we became quite good friend although we hardly met. Her visit to Bali now is part of her ‘last minute’ trip before she leaves for Hollywood in June! She is going to pursue her dream to be an actress! She is a ‘loud’ girl – in and out. I admire her drive, her spirit, that she is very sure she can do whatever she wants. She could so far. Worked as an investment banker in Sydney, Singapore, London, and Jakarta, I have no doubt. But to be an actress? She is special.

This kind of person I need to reenergize myself. I told her how I feel small but she reminded me what I have been through. Life changing! I need that also you know? It reminds me of my strength and weakness. Uh ah.. yes. I agreed silently. I don’t want to think how I would go from audition to audition as long as I know that I belong to the place. It scares me though that I might miss… foie gras that I cannot afford to have anytime. I smiled observing her skinny figure. She won’t miss that! Or she will?!

I spent seven hours downtown in the end to finish errands of the day. I had eight items on my list that I almost gave up at the sixth. It’s ‘regretting in my 80s’ spirit that kept me going. I really didn’t want to sit in my cool studio thinking what I should have done before home. It was bl**dy hot! No one believes. It burn me in and out. I care but I had no power. I focused on what I needed to get it done before my first leg of my tour this month tomorrow.

I looked around bedroom-cum-studio before dark and felt satisfied of what I did. I’m going to make major rearrangement when I'm back next week. Like all changes, atmosphere change energizes too. I cannot wait…

Full moon from my bedroom at six this morning.

Release the anger and move on!

A friend wrote it as her Facebook status. It’s the election day in Indonesia. I might not feel the sensation of the event since I stay home again. But I could see different feelings expressed by friends – in Indonesia and overseas – via Facebook. I liked to know that many were for the election, they campaigned in their own ways to us vote today. But some also showed pessimism and expressed not nice feeling about the Indonesian politics. It’s a real mix of feelings for the day.

It stirred my feelings a bit. And when a friend sounded a bit hard, I felt ‘numb’. Numb in a positive sense that I was not affected. I enjoyed myself being a spectator of the event and feelings of others. It’s wow! Later I found out that it’s purnama today. Full moon might have contributed to the chaos.

I committed myself to touch everything I see on my way that needs to be touched. A friend often asked me what I have touched on the day. It’s good to have such question to answer in the end of the day. It’s like a whip to ‘report’ to someone. Anyway, yes, I started from decluttering my closet. I have a see-through closet that gives me pressure in a way since it has to be neat at all time meaning… I can’t have more than the closet can hold. And… I had more. I could see the stacks had been a bit uneven. It bothered me. So I touched it!

One closet led to another closet plus a wooden chest. Since I took out clothes, I started to packing for my travel too. And in the end, I have a high pile of unused clothes that I haven’t decided where to go. It went neatly to the wooden box, hidden again, but I could see nice arrangement of the see-through closet. I’m simply happy.

I also took out all the glass beads I accumulated the past weeks. It’s time to produce but I haven’t gotten there. It’s another big thing on my way that I haven’t touched. I will do now I guess, also in the morning. Why do I have to do now if I can do tomorrow? Viva procrastination!

Thanks AS for the picture!

Seems that I have knocked myself out after lunch.

Been days on the road, I long for spending time at home. So I do today. More cleaning backlog of many things including bought show ticket for my next trip with my friend. I’d been procrastinating for days that I realized we might not get good seats if I’m not quick. So I started the online booking using my sluggish Internet connection. It was so slow that I lost my reservation three times. I called my bank to notify them about my online overseas transaction when the officer informed me that my other card is blocked. Someone tried to use the card via online transaction last night. Good the bank denied the transaction since I didn’t pick up phone when they needed to confirm. They have been using good sense. I liked it. I was just a bit shocked since I would not have credit card this weekend. I have a spare but I don’t feel comfortable to have the ‘fat’ one frozen.

I don’t wish another similar experience but this is my first time I had my credit card abused. I didn’t do many online transactions, not even once a year and it’s often done in overseas websites. Anyway, the two hour trying to do online booking plus negotiation with the credit card desk help plus calling overseas to secure seats have taken three exhausting hours. I was hungry since I only had morning fruit and didn’t expect would be engaged in a transaction that long.

Enough complain. I decided to install a mosquito net I bought the other day. I don’t have mosquito in the house but I don’t like to see my four-poster bed bare also I need shelter from exotic ceiling's sort of droppings. I had to use tricks to install since I would do it by myself. My tricks worked but I was already all sweaty when realized that I installed it inside out. My friend shared a hearty laugh when I vented. Nice. And when the girl in the shop where I bought the net told me nicely that I could not order special style nor alter mine, I was forced to be totally surrendered to the reality!

I gave in to the fact that I might install the net wrong way. It’s blessed in disguise because now I could use the tie my way. For many reasons, I might finish the four corners differently. Not exactly what I wanted, but I don’t have much choices but to have totally asymmetrical bed corners. Live with it! I took time off, had meal, and rested before took shower. That’s when I was gone for half an hour on the floor. I was exhausted physically and emotionally. Having morning ritual plus extra incidents have made my day.

There’s a fine silver lining in resolving Malang issue and I hope my swollen gum gets better by day otherwise I need to get it x-ray-ed. That’s my dentist told me. Like haircut issue, I don’t like to admit that I still attach to my dentist the past five years in Jakarta.

Hm so many things I have to accept these days. An expression without a complaint.

Legian beach. Duo tone I like.

Tomorrow would be my first four-week-in-a-row being in Ubud.

I miss traveling so ‘goodly’. Today I okayed all travel plans I made the past days with friends. And before I know it, I would be traveling every week from this weekend on. Like a big revenge. Like all, thing needs a shake after being calm too long. A shake helps me to be more productive and use time wisely.

I have started to clean up backlog of many things the past days since my days between travels might not be long enough to work on stuffs. I also have some homework to think (not even to do!) and haven’t spared time for that. A ‘disturbing’ issue in my hometown came up the past days. Living in three cities has eaten me up, now I feel, especially since I have a few contacts to vent. Venting my worries via email feels very different and ‘not real’. Feeling very independent in many areas, I must admit I still need second head to think.

Attending yoga this morning was a perfect reset. It was a really hard one, I guess the hardest since I joined Linda’s class. My arms had to support my body. It’s challenging and a real mind distractor. I didn’t have space to think about my worries. Like my yoga teacher’s mantra – I too can do.

Ehm better stop now…

I too can do. A kid is playing kite on top of tree in Denpasar.

I feel like living in dual world.

The past days I experienced dual feeling. I watched a friend who I thought was tough called himself fragile. I empathized. I watched him ‘going down’ about two days via Facebook. On the next day, I greeted him via online chat. He admitted that things fell apart and he knew that it’s just his feeling. Then I learned about a friend broke up with 8 year long-distance boyfriend. It has affected me in a way since I know the couple and more or less their amazing connection. It is so sad!

I also observed my own feelings the past days – the ups and downs. I feel lucky that I didn’t have time to sink the past three days since I happened to mingle with friends who I considered hyperactive. I need those people to light up my creative fire inside. I made trip to Denpasar on Saturday to meet super active friends from Jakarta and Sanur. They traveled away from Jakarta every weekend during their mission in Indonesia to see Indonesia as much as possible. The one in Sanur creates eco-clothing that I was not familiar with the concept. I learned about it during our meeting in the afternoon and at dinner.

Another friend managed to include me in her table at the well-known Sunday market in Sanur that my Ubud friend joined us unexpectedly. So by 8am, we were already on the road going to Sanur to set up table and be ready to experience heat. It turned out to be a super fun day. As I had expected, we met friends also made friends with new people who came by our table. The restaurant, where the market was, looked like holding an all day party. People came with shine shone on their faces, nice clothes, and in big party. We ended the day nicely in my friend’s house. My new tour destination for friends visiting Ubud. Our friend from the US was so stunned by the view. He mumbled This is paradise..

That was not the end of my busy-ness on the weekend. My jewelry friend and I were interviewed by a lady who runs a column in Bali Advertiser – widely distributed free newspaper – at Neru today. Her column is like a shopping guide in Bali. She picks nice stuffs from all over Bali to be featured in her column. Yes, she found us at the market. So although I only sold three necklaces and my friends a few, we surprisingly got exposure in larger way.

It was fun morning for all of us. It’s been long I didn’t dig my knowledge about Indonesian culture and today I had to talk about Papuan tribal art. I also talked about other arts from other parts of Indonesia. I started with my necklace creation but ended up talking about arts I have in both shops. My jewelry friend was with us and she also went through the history of China blue ceramic shards in Indonesia – the main element of her jewelry. We closed the session with taking pictures of our products and ourselves. I felt so embarrassed having my pictures taken but the lady insisted. I really hope my picture won’t show in the publication.

I already melted by 2pm after nice lunch and a few window-shopping. I didn’t have energy to shop for groceries anymore. I needed an afternoon long to cool off and just now finished a draft write-up about my business and myself for the lady. What a homework – telling about myself!?

We had fun decorating tao-tao at Neru with my creation for photo session.

It’s Pallava’s 5th anniversary today.

Actually I don’t know how I’m supposed to celebrate the anniversary. My neighbor friend congratulated through text message so my staffs. I attended Linda's yoga class instead of visiting Pallava. But it’s good that I went through old pictures in the morning before left that it has ignited little sparks inside to do more in the shop. I have kind of abandoned the shop three years now. For a complex reason but I’d like to put the blame on business that has not been good after the second bomb in Bali.

I had plan for the day but my friend decided not to join last minute that then I also reconsidered. I decided to walk and stay home. This house is so dangerous, it has powerful magnet that makes me hard to be away. I had quite productive afternoon though. I worked with Pak Agung fixing net in the kitchen since I was tired of animal coming into the kitchen through narrow opening under exotic Balinese style roof. I don’t mind sharing space with big geckos but later they liked to mess around my stuffs. Again, I live too close to the nature that I need to consider which I could tolerate.

Weekend is coming. Two friends from Jakarta asked to see me. I made quick arrangement for both separately without a fixed commitment. They are on short holiday that they might not have idea about how much time left they would have. I will take it easy. I have quite a list to run too during weekend.

So what am I going to do in the next five years of Pallava? A question that hangs on my mind.

Pallava sign in early 2006.

A calendar watcher I become.

A friend shared me tips how to live longer. One of the tips is to always plan ahead. For me, I’d like to rephrase it a bit – to always make plan. I guess anticipating something nice to happen is good for our system. Then another friend said in email A year seems like six months. Both notions interest me. Making plan might shorten our days since we are always up to something.

Since I proposed my friend an outing, we busied ourselves with checking out calendar and parties to make our trip to happen. It’s me, I tend to cram many programs as can be on a trip that in the end gives me headache. My friend almost gave up since we could hardly meet in the middle. She has gum surgery a few days before the date we planned, then I could not get seat on the date she could get seat from her mileage redeem. I haven’t given up. I told her that the ecstasy she showed me when I proposed has set my ‘appetite’ to travel with her so she cannot just change mind. She understood. Good!

Making travel plan has made my days. It strange that I also learned about friends who are ‘about’ to be itchy to travel because of boredom, or simply because of the time to refresh has come. I had traffic of itineraries in my email inbox now. That’s when I became a calendar watcher! It makes a year seems like six months! My friends and I are already talking about what we are going to do in September – October.

April fool. I managed to push myself to start teaching Ayuk how to fix toggle on a necklace. I’d been postponing long time until I could not take it anymore since I keep creating and someone has to give a finishing touch. I cannot handle the quantity anymore. Not that many but I just don’t want to do the tedious part of making necklace.

I’m happy when Ayuk announced that she has finished her part. Another thing has to be started in me. Delegating.

Rice field in the back of Jalan Bisma, Ubud.