Know What You Want

The other day Rini wrote me her recent experience with family. Husband and son were hospitalized that she had to stay in hospital. At home, two maids quitted and left her girl without sitter that she had to ask her mother and sister to help. The situation made her thinking to stop working and be a stay-home mom. After more than 15 years in office?

She asked me for advice. I told her that she needs to know what she wants first. In my view, kids of over 10 years old “do not need” her full time so staying home is not really important anymore. She could end up getting bored of doing nothing and no routine. That’s when she needs to plan an activity to spend time while waiting for kids to be home. The only question then: what would you like to do?

Well, I was in her situation almost ten years ago. I got bored in office after 8 years but didn’t know what to do without routine. It was so hard. I have no kids, I had no business. What would I do? I took 3 months unpaid-leave before decided to resign. Actually I resigned only after one month. Not that I had found something to do at that time, simply because I had known that I would never return to work.

I pushed myself to be in a situation when I had to think about what to do. If I kept myself at work, I would never think hard about what to do. I started Frangipani with whatever expertise I had just to kill time. I have spirit to keep the business going. After 9 years now, I have learned a lot from having business(es). Now I could see that it is understandable that a person finds it hard to change because change means adaptation. Who wants to leave a comfortable bubble to enter a jungle although a jungle could also offer other form of comfortable bubbles? :-)

Rini’s and more of my friends’ cases help me to see me and my comfortable bubble. It’s so easy to see others’ issue than ours. Why? Because we don’t hold all factors to make a decision, we just see the cover and make a decision based on textbook (read: general rules).

Now… do we know what we want? I feel this is the hardest part in making a decision. A well-known marriage counselor ended her one-month third marriage lately. Very ironic. Apparently she doesn’t know what she wants. Do I know mine? Sometimes I (think I) know but it takes me very long to materialize. I realized the other day that actually I have started to collect materials for making necklace since five years ago. I have the tools since I started Una Beads two years ago but never used. But when it comes, like lightning, it hits me directly. I don’t need time to think. I just do like I do with necklaces now. It’s only five weeks but I could feel the pulse, it’s getting harder…

Do you know what you want?

Photo of Triple Happiness.