I need you

I was not in good mood this morning. I felt heavy of no reason. I don’t like it. I don’t like it because actually… I knew.

I could not decide what I wanted to do. I hung around empty.. RAD texted me about something and checked me whether interested in lunch. I asked her an hour to decide. Yea.. I needed time.

I am low. I need a company. I need to go out. I need distraction.
I replied.

I ran errands and met RAD in a café we never been. I showed her my first book of collage. I told her some background stories. We enjoyed the time and the food. She told me the progress of next fund raising project. Then we talked about love relationship. Again, I admired person who is able to bungee-jumping in love. No fear. Just love.

A friend emailed me in the morning about her friend coming to Jakarta. She described her as “she’s down to earth like me only she is fun… unlike me who need to loosen up..” It rang my bell. I also need to loosen up.

My discussion with RAD about love reminded me to loosen up. She’s so easy, I’m so stiff. I am too serious and it hurts me.. Aaargghh…

On the way home, I realized that I really have to return to NOW. I started to read again the ‘manual book’ about enjoying the moment so I’m able to receive love better and articulate the concept of…
I need you.

Photo of my Now.