Hard Decision

I got lessons two days ago. I went to meet a good friend who had been asking my time about two years. We only met in social events but never actually had lunch like before. I didn’t intend to avoid him but I just didn’t feel like to talk one to one with him. That’s all.

We exchanged texts the days before and again he asked me to meet. I gave in. I’d been not nice and an hour of meeting him should be nothing. It should be no pain. Even if it could have been painful, I could just decide to forget the next day. So no problem at all!

So I met him. We talked about our mutual friend who is not lucky in relationship. Again, I told him that her situation now is her choice. We didn’t have to ‘feel sorry’ for her. He said that my opinion was very me.

He looked at me and told me -- reminded me to be precise -- that there is time in life when we have to “choose” the difficult and uncomfortable situation for the better self and others. It took awhile for me to digest his statement. I put myself into somebody else’s shoes and observed my decisions too.

I must say. I agree with him. Yes, there is ‘unwanted’ situation where we have to choose for "now" – hopefully for temporary. I could not agree more. We cannot always be in a situation we want, we don’t have the control of any situation although we can decide on what we want. But being self centered?

Last night I made decision to attend an event I never wanted to attend. I had made the decision to not go for a few weeks. But after I knew that the host was sure that I would attend, I felt that I could not do this to someone who sincerely considers me as good friend. I could be selfish for I only focus on my idealism but a good friend is a good friend.

He could decide to do silly thing like racing in high speed and wants me to watch. It can be meant to ‘watch him die’, but his sincere invitation can be viewed from different point of view too. He wants me to watch when he passes the race, or he dies. Either happens, it's still nice to have done something nice to a good friend -- regardless the uncomfortable feeling.

I got a lesson from the decision. I can stay being myself with my own decision but looking at different point of view is important too. After all, sharing happiness is always rewarding. I know I would be the happiest person if I can make anybody happy. An hour meeting -- an overnight trip -- should not be matter to me. I have the rest of my life to have other 'soft' decisions. It’s not a life time commitment although.. it is a hard decision.

Photo of a pin given by a friend. I fixed it on my laptop computer sleeve to remind me the good decisions I have made, soft and hard :-)