It’s a drag.

There are times when I need to drag myself to be active since get up. Today is one. I thought it was Sunday. I blamed it on my wrong perception since I could not find the reason why I felt so lazy and unwilling to do anything all day. I also thought about my life rhythm in Ubud where I had slow but busy morning almost everyday especially weekends.

Anyway, I just followed other people’s rhythm today. Went to Saturday market and ran several errands. We went to a nice little art shop in a small mall for interior. Again, I put myself on customer side, seeing other country’s art from tourist view. I decided to get a very low stool like chopping board with animal head and tail. It doesn’t really matter if it’s old or two months old. For someone who comes from a country with rich tribal art, I am strange to have selected this stool. I just loved it.

I felt tired all day that I really had to drag my legs to follow my want. I also felt sleepy of no reason. I’m still worried about Mama who hasn’t showed any significant progress since two days. She’s still weak in bed not wanting to eat and wanting to go home. The thought has bogged me down in a way that I could not make any progress of my work either. Nothing is wrong. It’s all in my mind. I asked Tante Indre to help me finding a private nurse for Mama to help her in hospital and later when she’s back home.

I don’t know. I might have looked calm but I hardly felt one.

Picture of Saturday Market in a village in Manila today.