The Negotiator
I got up feeling like a storm survivor. Felt so quiet, tired, but calm. I took time to reflect what kind of storm I experienced before sleep. I had severe or quite severe headache since afternoon yesterday. PMS made it worse. I became emotionally fragile. That’s quite a storm to me all evening. I refrained myself from doing things that make me uncomfortable like… translation. I preferred to attend my necklace again.
Like a surprise, so nice to wake up calm. My headache had disappeared but still I felt the trauma. I had to move slowly to not trigger the same headache. I have known my body behavior. I looked at my desk trying to gather my sanity. I have to resolve my issues one by one. So I started with the most important that challenge my professionalism. I reviewed the four articles that had left untouched the past two days after the dead-end negotiation. I cannot run, I have to face this.
I went through my work for final check before submission. I’m satisfied with my work. I know, I am good. It’s so hard to accept the reality. When I did my work half heartedly the other day, I thought I would not deliver good result. It took me an hour to go through the lengthy four articles doing minor editing. Hm I'm happy. Now I have to work on my negotiation again, my business challenge.
I’m aware that I am not a good negotiator. I tend to be lenient to other party. I often got mild criticism from people who care about me. They liked to suggest me to define what I want, not just wait the other party to understand and act accordingly. My argument usually is… we are adult with standard mode of operation. And people start laughing at me. Which standard? Yea, which standard? I have to share my standard because no such standard in operation.
So I voiced my want to the big organization that gives me the translation job because I know I’m deserved to get more. The result don't satisfy me yet but I’m happy that I have delivered my message. A step forward to be better. As for now, it seems I might end up not care enough about the result. I don’t like to push that’s all and that’s not good. I don’t attend and end the negotiation well. Hm.. but I know what I should do next time…
That’s challenge to my professionalism in intellectuality. Today I answered a challenge to my professionalism in business. I realized yesterday that my clients have used my offer to adjust/alter necklace quite excessively. That I realize more later after I find out that I have used my time unwisely just because of the nice service I have offered. In business, I have to calculate time and material that both are involved in the service. Since today on, I follow other businessmen’s path to give nice service with limitation. I’m happy with my decision that doesn’t come easy although I’ve been in business almost a decade now.
Of both experiences I learn that people are right about me, I’m not a good negotiator because I hardly set a limit that makes others just step on me lightly and continuously. Now I can react better than I have been so far, I feel. I have made progress because now I can tell about me being stepped on though lightly :-)
Yesterday, I turned down offers to do 100 pages translation with pay and 20 pages for volunteer. I need to set limit to myself, not to give myself more stress. Ahead of me, I have quite full agenda includes socializing and more trips. I need to get out of solitude.
Anyway, I manage to negotiate heat with the sun today. I ordered a bamboo blinds to cover my big glass window as early as 9:00 o’clock before the sun high. It is perfect. Now I can open the windows wide and I can do whatever I want in my room without being noticed. And the main thing is the blinds work very well in the afternoon like umbrella. Why the idea came later? Well, it’s much better than it never came :-)
I worked on my small stones but no appetite for creating. I cannot push myself. So I just cleaned and tidied the stones. I need to read a book to calm mind. I’m going to start a new book about… murder.
Photo of my negotiation with the sun.