The Limit

I’m not good in setting up limit, of anything. Within self, in relationships, and in organization. I am lenient. I treat anybody like adult with maturity and understanding of what supposed to act. I don’t like telling people around what they should do. They know.. They should know..

But it seems I’m not always right. I can expect myself to be discipline because at least I know “my” limit. So I don’t have issue with myself although I don’t come easy either. In relationships? As adult, we know how we should treat our friends. Don’t just take, but also give. Also, don’t just give, and forget to ask. A friend told us about her pain in always supplying but nothing in return when she needs. Ah.. I experienced the same with a good friend last month. Suddenly I realized what I asked of him had gone in deep well while he got what he wanted of me easily. Well, after some times, we all learned. To understand, to set up limit.

Today I had to face setting up a limit in organization. My simple organization in the house. My senior staff is a good squeezer – of the juniors and myself, her boss. She is tough. Nice words are not enough. Harsh words are unnecessary. Been eight years working for me, I observe she doesn’t change. Even worse I must say. She appears unhappy (even after a beautiful 2 years old girl) and gives people around her hard time.

I thought about what I need to say overnight. So hard. I had to set up a limit. She’s taking too much of my leniency that had led me to be unfair to other. I had supported her family too much. I knew it long time but again, I had expected her to stop at a point and understand. Of course nothing like it. If the limit is out to see, you can go on…

So I bit her today. That’s what people like to comment about me. I’m just barking, I don’t bite. She was shocked when I told her one, two, three points. She was upset, I could see it in her expression. I had nothing to lose. I just needed to tell her to stop squeezing us and act like an adult. I reminded her to be a kind person when she said she doesn’t consider her in-laws (her juniors in my house) relatives anymore. How could she feel that while I still consider her my relatives?

It gave me a pain that I had to do that. I don’t like to do it but apparently my treatment misleads. People can easily forget to behave. Grr.. And I’m ready to see her emotional response. She called me in the afternoon. I thought… hm.. now what is your decision? Nothing. She just informed me about an important phone call. So nice? I learned again. I don’t have to feel uneasy about setting up limit. If I do right thing, people will react positively. And I will be fair to anybody else. I have to remember this for the future that nothing is wrong about setting up limit. Of anything.

Photo of a shop sign in Tegallalang.