"Say it again?"

I got a lesson today. An Indonesian Ibu, my friend in art group, called and asked me why I didn’t ‘treat’ her nicely when we had lunch. Aaarrrggh.. It took me sometime to recall the ‘scene’. I apologized for not realizing and asked her how she wanted me to treat her. She beat about the bush but the message was clear: She demanded me to pay more attention to her. You are much younger than me. I am 64 and have grown up grand-kids. Okaaay?

This Ibu called NIE to get ‘support’ before she called me. NIE was nice to tell her to take easy. PEN was quite upset. This Ibu seldom came to art group meetings so she felt left out. It’s us when together; we liked to talk, snap, and cut each other but no one felt offended.

Anyway, I was the right one to 'blame' because I was the youngest, Indonesian, and sat next to her.. perhaps. Whatever happened, I learn. I may have to ‘step back’ in such chatty crowd to be able to pay full attention to each one. That’s how MNE found me quiet compares to her and RIT. But still, I feel that I was not good enough in listening and paying more attention.

I reflect. Only this morning I told Dumbo that it seems we have problem in communication. We are two ‘aggressive’ girls with so many things in head. When we met, we were busy to get each other's attention till one had to be quiet. Conversation was stuck then ha ha. While Dumbo tries to control herself, I feel I don’t have hope for conveying my story. And that's not healthy communication :-)

It makes me studying my ‘successful’ experience with Rad and Yungkie, same bubbly 'aggressive' type. They are my few Indonesian girl friends that have good flowing conversation with me. Still I got no clue. We just had a ‘naturally’ nice time, no one felt offended or had to suppress a feeling. Now I don’t know. Communication is indeed an art.

Painting by Yang Shaobin.