F vs. F

I got a birthday dinner invitation from Eka, my cousin, just now. My auntie’s birthday. I have considered her as my second mother because she’s my next mother when I left house for work in Jakarta in 1990. I stayed with the family for about three years. Her three girls became my crazy buddies. We spent nights chatting outside our rooms after office-hour, or in disco, till dawn. We survived to have two hours sleep every other day and go to office in time every day. It was fun. We shared a lot of friends – girls and boys.

We met on and off when everybody moved on with life. We got together intensely again about three years ago. Timing was perfect that we spent lots of time together; shopping, dining, and doing crazy things. And the cycle returned last year; suddenly we are all busy with our life again. That ‘separates’ us once again till.. now. But, I’m not so excited about getting together with my cousins this Saturday.

Everyone has moved on, I have moved on. I gain a lot of new friends the past two years. I also create some new activities without my cousins in the frame because of different interest. I feel great with my ‘new life’ and business. And when I look back at them, they keep the same life actually; only Rini who’s going to be grandmother for second time. She just turned 49 last week. It’s another great life, I think.

It seems that time and what we’ve been through have created kind of communication gap. I don’t understand them and they don’t understand my busy life lately. I just watch their life goes but in the other hand they have something to say about my life. That bothers me. I once was triggered to ‘argue’ with them about what they told me. Only later I thought it would be fuss and unproductive, I better keep my mouth shut and smile on. And funny, the last time I talked to Kikie, I told her to not discuss about sensitive issues. She agreed but before we moved onto next topic she said Basically, I don’t want to know that.. Ha ha.. she really forgot that we have our own life :-)

I treasure my relationship with family and relatives; and also appreciate their care but.. don’t you think we have to be able to limit ourselves to not intrude each other’s life? Anyway, to put me in safer side, I’d rather mingle with my friends these days. I feel free and no burden. I could be myself and share more.

Today I had farewell lunch with RIT who’s leaving for London tomorrow. It’s another time of the year when girl friends start to leave for long summer holiday. It’s time when we exchange dates of when and where we would be in the next three months. Everyone will leave Jakarta the week after next week and I would be the one who stay for Bali Singapore Bali Bali trips (that’s my plan for the next three months). Time flies anyway. We should not be worried..

RIT, AMA, PNI, PEN, and I had nice lunch at our favorite fish restaurant in EX. It was a big delicious meal that we loved to forget our diet. And more at CBTL for coffee and.. cheese cake! We were full to the top. It was not a sentimental farewell at all. We dispersed in supermarket after coffee. Quick hug and short speech were enough. Too sad to imagine having lunch without good friends around :-)

Photo of a nice message I found in Ubud.