Intention

I once had an experience of clinging to a thing for a long time for I thought I’d been protected by a law that nothing could part me with the thing. Only after a decade I realized that actually no thing would stay for ever without something. Legal paper or commitment is just it. Lately I think a lot about the something – the good intention – that could make a thing stay longer. While I could control my good intention, I also take the advice from amiracleaday.com that I found interesting.

The benefits of assuming the good intentions of others:

1. More Friends

When you assume the good intentions of others, they notice it, even if it's mostly subconscious. This results in them being more open towards you, as well, which can easily lead to more friends.

And, of course, being suspicious of the motives of other people can cause them to react negatively and push you away... resulting in the loss of opportunities for friendship.

2. Better "Networking"

Many of the same reasons for having more friends apply to this, as well, as does the actual fact of having more friends. It also helps to make you the type of person that someone else would want to help, as well as the type that they would introduce to others and recommend to others.

3. Better Relationships

Trust is one of the most important (if not THE most important) factors in the strength of a relationship. Assuming the good intentions of your significant other go a long way toward establishing and strengthening that trust.

It also reduces the chances of being hurt (emotionally) accidentally, because you assume that they didn't intend to hurt you... which reduces the sting considerably.

4. Less Stress

When you assume the good intentions of the people that you come into contact with, you avoid a lot of stress... you don't worry about how to protect yourself from being hurt, you don't worry as much about why they did this or that, and what it means about what they think about you, etc. Basically you have less stress because you reduce your worry load considerably.

5. More Help When You Need It

Assuming good intentions also tends to make you treat people better, since you don't consider them potential sources of hurt. Since you don't consider them in that light, it makes you far more open to helping them, more open to giving of yourself.

The people you are around will notice that you're that type of person, and will tend to respond in kind, sometimes even including asking their friends and associates to help you. That adds up to a lot larger available pool of help.

6. More Happiness

This is pretty simple, and derives from many of the previous points: less stress, more friends, and better relationships all tend to bring more happiness into your life individually, let alone all taken together. These three things also each strengthen the other, and being happier strengthens all three as well.

It's the opposite of a vicious cycle, a self-reinforcing positive loop.

7. People Tend To Live Up To Your Expectations

One other thing to remember, one that focuses more on the other person, is that people tend to live up to your expectations. If you expect people to be bad, and to do things for bad reason, you'll find that there actually is more of that in your life, especially from the people you're around the most, like family.

On the other hand, if you expect people to be good, and to do things for good reasons, you're likely to find that there is more of that.

Well, it’s not a really good writing but I could see the truth in these points.

I recalled this piece of advice when I decided to resign to the feeling that the shop might not be for me. Exactly a week ago. I didn’t call Maria after I’d decided. I might not be correct but it really hurt that I needed time before making the contact. Or better say, I didn’t know what to say.

Maria called me two days later asking where I was. A few days later she called again asking to meet. Then she called again telling that she’s busy with upacara at her father’s new shop. I just followed her whatever-you-call. But one thing I kept in mind: I assume her good intention.

So she called again this noon asking to meet. It was raining hard and I hadn’t taken shower. I prepared myself and went to her place with big smile. I have learned from cousin Aga about how Balinese do space-rent business when they know the renter would hand the space over to other, they ask for an extension before the handover. Also, I have tried to pursue other space but to no avail the other day. With these two facts, I have better understanding about Maria’s position. Why she extends the period without gave me prior notice. Why she offers me a slim premium in the rental that in the end it’s still considered low for the area. So time has given me the knowledge to understand why she changed.

I hugged her congratulating for the baby boy she has forty days ago. The husband was not well but was nice to talk with me in their living room behind their huge workshop-cum-showroom in premium area of Tegallalang. Maria showed me the baby. I talked with the eldest girl. It was really nice meeting the young family. Yes, Maria is 27.

Life has given me good lesson. While checking out legal paper is always important, I took time to connect with the family. I asked about how they run the family business and how business in Bali in general. In the end, I also asked about many aspects of the agreement as part of a due diligence. Of both topics, actually my sole purpose was to sniff the something. Maria passed! I trust her.

I got the shop starting the first of April to three and a half year later.

Photo of Kenneth Cole’s ad I saw in Warung Mendez today.