Comfort

Darling, I missed you already! A friend hugged me when we parted the other day. Now it’s my turn to be the one who leaves. I have experienced many good-byes to friends who moved out of Indonesia the past seven years. If I were given an option to choose, I thought I would choose to be the one who stays because staying means do not leave a comfort zone. Now I know the feeling. Having a journey waiting to be traveled is different.

Three friends called yesterday. We chatted like we were in the same city. Thank to the technology. A friend flew from KL and missed seeing me in Jakarta. She had planned it for months and really hoped to fit my Jakarta schedule. The other simply missed me around but she will fly to see me in my new life next week. She intends to celebrate my birthday! What a sweet plan she has! And my long time Indonesian friend sounded sad when I told her that my car is on the way to Ubud. It’s like I’ve brought down the curtain on my life in Jakarta. It might sound right but hey I have passed a good friend to be hers now. We are bigger now!

My friend cared and asked me curiously with whom I had lunch. I recalled my lunch and felt glad to realize that I had lunch with people I know! I might not know them all personally but we know each other by face as we are regular customers of the restaurant. That’s more than enough, we have something in common as life traveler. A luxury I don’t enjoy in Jakarta. How many times in a year I met the same patrons at the same restaurant? Unless I brought the familiar faces with me.

So, yes, I decided to walk out my comfort zone. A comfort zone is more a zone where I feel familiar but not necessarily comfort. I realized yesterday after learning that my car is on the way to be with me, my, I’m living a new life! New! How scary the word is… I become more aware of what I have gained and lost at the same time. I have left Paris Hilton lifestyle behind and enter a much simpler life. That’s not scary but living without familiarity is something. I’m glad I’m survived.

I made a significant progress with my life in Ubud today. I checked out Pallava storage to identify what I need for the new shop. I set up a way to help an orphanage in Klungkung. I subscribed to a wireless internet connection with one of the largest providers in the country. I really hope it will work well when it connects on Monday then it could cut half the cost of my connection now.

So I have decided some 'important' things today. It’s kind of not an easy time for me still to live by myself: to consider and to decide fully on my own. I felt hopelessly lonesome last night. I keep telling myself that I should and would be fine. I read this morning about being a single and living with a family, both are different circumstances that can’t be compared. Often people feel trapped to a circumstance and imagine living the other circumstance. I don’t know which is better, all I know is I need to feel comfortable with whatever circumstance I’m in.

Photo of my new ‘altar’ in the Ubud House with a Fire Horse ready to go into action.