I don’t want to regret in my 80s that I didn’t do.

A friend told me over brunch in a nice restaurant by the beach in Legian. I thought the same in the morning, but not in my 80s, when got up and read my friend’s message to meet up. Legian seems so far away from Ubud although of course it’s “only” an hour away. I collected errands I need to run then decided to just go.

It was a nice day. Traffic was still quiet. It’s because of the Good Friday or election or else I’m not sure. I enjoyed driving like always. My friend came a bit later but fine since I had time to enjoy the beach. What a luxury to have ‘an hour length’ option: to be in the mountain or beach.

This girl I knew two years ago from my jeweler friend. We went to an auction in Ubud and had fun bidding for her investor. Since then we became quite good friend although we hardly met. Her visit to Bali now is part of her ‘last minute’ trip before she leaves for Hollywood in June! She is going to pursue her dream to be an actress! She is a ‘loud’ girl – in and out. I admire her drive, her spirit, that she is very sure she can do whatever she wants. She could so far. Worked as an investment banker in Sydney, Singapore, London, and Jakarta, I have no doubt. But to be an actress? She is special.

This kind of person I need to reenergize myself. I told her how I feel small but she reminded me what I have been through. Life changing! I need that also you know? It reminds me of my strength and weakness. Uh ah.. yes. I agreed silently. I don’t want to think how I would go from audition to audition as long as I know that I belong to the place. It scares me though that I might miss… foie gras that I cannot afford to have anytime. I smiled observing her skinny figure. She won’t miss that! Or she will?!

I spent seven hours downtown in the end to finish errands of the day. I had eight items on my list that I almost gave up at the sixth. It’s ‘regretting in my 80s’ spirit that kept me going. I really didn’t want to sit in my cool studio thinking what I should have done before home. It was bl**dy hot! No one believes. It burn me in and out. I care but I had no power. I focused on what I needed to get it done before my first leg of my tour this month tomorrow.

I looked around bedroom-cum-studio before dark and felt satisfied of what I did. I’m going to make major rearrangement when I'm back next week. Like all changes, atmosphere change energizes too. I cannot wait…

Full moon from my bedroom at six this morning.