Prick Up Your Ears
I’m the only Auntie Agony around now. My friend told me the other day referring to the moments of our mutual friends shared their agony with her. Actually, before I moved, I was more the Auntie Agony to almost all my friends including her. Actually, they don’t need my ears to listen to their agony only but also to listen to all their life issues including troubled kids, demanding husbands, to 'beloved' drivers. Yes, I am a good listener.
Later I realized that to be a good listener is not easy. To give accurate response is an art. To not respond is not they need from a listener. And when to respond is another art. It seems I’m not bad in this area. Or, I have become better as a listener that I believe I was not in the past. I had ego to ‘make things right’ right away. Like intuitively I just shared my whatever I believed was a good advice. They don’t need that, if so, they would ask. That’s what I learned later.
Like in all, I learned to become good at something from my own experience. I refrain myself from pointing out one’s feeling especially when one is being negative. I let one shares it all then wait what she/he expects from me. I believe people could be negative when facing a situation but that doesn’t mean she/he is always being negative. I’m careful about that. Not to let them ‘down’. Or, I might be too sensitive when sense a response. I have achieved good-listener title so far, I might have done the right thing.
The other day Mbok Yan sought for my advice what if she leaves her jobless-ever husband. She is tired of working as bread winner and get no appreciation. It’s the latter that matters her. This is not the first tough question I had this year. I just asked her in response: what the kids’ feeling about the idea and what hers after knowing the kids’ feeling. I could see she processed the questions again inside head. Some friends expect me to decide for them or kick their idea. People need an instant decision that comes out of other kitchen, not theirs.
My tips? A piece of advice is not they need. They know what they should do, they just need ears to listen. To ease their bogged mind. Hey, a good listener is coming to town.
Picture of a mock party logo a friend shared.
