The Bombardment
I make necklace since yesterday. I’m productive yet I’m not. Funny, when a friend asked the other day, I told her I could make ten necklaces a day. She was surprised and later it got me thinking. Ya? Can I? Yesterday I knew the answer. I might be able to create ten necklaces a day but after days of ‘preparation’ that includes familiarizing with the material. And after that one day, I might need weeks to start another batch so actually I’m not so productive as it looks.
I think about other superficial things in life this morning. I watched Oprah’s show on Mother’s Day (what a late rerun). Demi Moore talked about her relationship with her late mother. It’s an uneasy relationship that took years to resolve that fell in time before her mother passed away. It’s sad but understandable. It needs understanding and the art of learning about self and other people to resolve a stuck relationship. I was touched, and it reminded me of my relationship with Mama and other people. I don’t have significant issue with Mama but I could feel we have ‘baggage’ that stands in our way to have a smooth relationship. Like anything else, we leave it unsaid. That’s when we need the two factors: understanding and the art of learning.
Of similar issue, lately I’m a bit tired of being bombarded by friends and relatives’ endless questions about my disappearance. I just wonder, can’t they leave me alone? I know they care about me but some times I feel like they judge me at the same time that what I’m doing is wrong, that I should keep the same rhythm as before, showing up and connecting more. I appreciate their concern but in a time like this, I appreciate more of their understanding. Like I said before, ‘natural selection’ happens in the difficult time. I found myself connecting more with people who leave me alone because somehow I know they are not afraid of losing me. They trust me. And those then who stay closer to my heart. I shall thank them… They are rare, people who can accept me as I am, with my aloofness and complicated situation whatever it is.
Like making necklace, I thought this would come easy. I’m easy or I have applied an easy way to face the community but I might forget to figure out another important factor. They might not be easy.
Photo of a poster in Naughty Nuri’s Warung in Ubud.