Sanity Testing

Finally, I started my real art-journal last night. Keri Smith’s blog has inspired me. I had idealism about an art-journal. I wanted it to be in an old book which I failed to find till today. But what Smith said “So on my way home from school I stopped in Chinatown and picked up a black and red lined journal for a dollar. We were told not to get something too fancy, preciousness would create a pressure to make the work good.” rang true to me. Glad I had black pages notebook I bought for nothing last month.

I started my cover page and first ‘posting’. I was so excited. So nice that I can express self thru drawing (shown in photo), not just writing. I feel freer. And even today I do much better; I also scrapping. I think I’m not bad as illustrator.

Apart of my art-journal gaga, something is testing my sanity the whole day. Can you imagine someone does not want to discuss something that needs a discussion with you? I feel like talking to a thick wall. And most of all, I feel like stupid!?

I calm myself by exercising possibilities, reasons why, my understanding,.. I begin to doubt myself. I question my own normality.. Does this issue – in fact – need no discussion? That I was too silly to bring it up as an issue? Is the option for me: accept or leave? I take this as a challenge.

Oprah said:

“Challenges are gifts that force us to search for a new center of gravity. Don’t fight them. Just find a different way to stand.”