A Bright New Day

I slept before ten last night. I was so tired and sleepy that I could not see the point to be up unproductively. And as predicted, I awoke four hours later feeling fresh. It’s in the middle of the night and again, no point to be up that early, so I continued sleeping till morning.

I checked calendar last night when realized that end of the month is coming next week. That early? And it’s good that I felt the morning went slowly. I did lots of thing but time only crawled. I liked that I could do more! And I did! I tidied bedroom, looked after laundry stuff again, sent two birthday gifts, prepared merchandise for FRA, replied to emails, did short yoga,..

I feel much better today. I found a bright new day. I don’t have fear. All my fears have disappeared but still I treasure the feelings – it shows me that I’m still a normal human, not static, not a robot. As long as I keep my positive attitude, I shall have no worry. Being positive always wins.

I spent all afternoon for four hours with RIT, KAT, and MNE in a French fine dining restaurant. We had planned for long time to try this one. The private room had made us staying for ever. It’s like chatting in someone’s dining room. We could be so open talking about almost anything relating to a woman’s life: hot flush, hormone, being 50 60 70, being naked, what to wear in pool,.. And of course we learned about new jargon on boob job: textured, 200 vs 250, hi/med/low profile, round/pear shape, spacemaker, outer tissue, massage,.. Hm? Socializing is part of learning :-)

And when it came to talk about my coming birthday, they shared what they think about me. That's very nice to know. MNE thought that Aquarians are intelligent but she didn’t agree when I said they are strong and stubborn too. She found me in reverse, soft and calm. I was smiling. Hm.. you only met me a few times. RIT preferred to label me have a Buddhist mind. While KAT thought that I’m very independent and different (as Indonesian, RIT added). So interesting. I was smiling listening to their discussion about me!

And it became more interesting when they started to discuss about how to achieve such calmness I have. They laughed a lot thinking about meditation and taking lesson to be a good Buddhist. It’s almost impossible they said since they are too chatty. I could only say that it has to come from the inside like every thing else in the world. Now look who’s talking? I still have bundles of worry and fear. What can I say?