My dear I’m alife [sic] and well.

Had a hard time. My girlfriend in Switzerland texted me last night. I appreciate her ‘life’ update as I care about her being – physically and spiritually. That’s how I care about close ones that some hardly understand. My inquiry to connect may come as… sort of nagging! Since I spent more times with my different-partner-orientation friend, I know what men think about us women. Gays are ‘in between’ so it’s easy for them to understand both sides. As men, they don’t like nagging women. As ‘women,’ they can rule things like women. I learn all is about 'labeling.' When men inquire, it’s ‘asking.’ If women, ‘nagging.’

I don’t mind if my landlord labels me as ‘cerewet’ because I keep asking about how to deal with whatever animal in my bedroom roof. I was once so nice to give him space and time to deal with it and one rainy season passed without action. Me nagging? But how should I ask for service then? He didn’t respond when I told him that I had a handyman was looking at it. It’s not easy to deliver things nicely because of that ‘labeling’ thing. So I don’t mind either if he labels me as ‘impatient.’

With all the awkward situations dealing with gender (male and female with reference to social and cultural differences rather than biological ones), I learn to be more 'male' now. Gay in spirit so I can fit both sides. Some people have thought that I am ‘man’ already because I’m quite logical but sure I still have a dash of Venus. I will do better. Forget about frills, just say what I have in mind. Mr. Jan I become.

Finally, I managed to take out my stone collection to start creating necklace. My new idea. Plain without silver beads. I’m exercising my new idea to play with stone textures (different size in this context). I want to see if my creation still has power without the help of nice silver beads. I have finished seven and am happy with the look so far.

Good progress! I can resume yoga tomorrow after dealing with labeling, mending, and creating…

Celebrate womanhood!